The night before the Hogsmeade trip Harry went back to the dormitory
early. He didn't feel like staying awake with his friends. To Harry's
surprise, Seamus followed him.
"Harry?"
"Yeah, I'm here," his words were muffled because he'd already closed the curtains around his four-poster.
"Can we talk?"
"I guess so." He opened the curtains and Seamus came and sat down on the end of his bed.
"Harry, I know you still really care about Renata so I'm just going to tell you the truth. Yeah, I like her. I've said since she first came to Hogwarts that she was good-looking and how great it was that she was so awesome at Quiditch. But I knew she wasn't interested in me. And I know she still isn't interested in me. Remember the back to school feast of our fifth year? That lecture she gave Dean and I about being chauvinistic pigs, absolutely terrifying."
"She treats everybody that way. You want to know how often she calls me an arrogant pig?"
Seamus grinned. "At least as often as Ron calls Hermione a know-it- all?" He quirked an eyebrow at Harry and shook his head. "It's not the same, Harry. She likes me as a friend. I don't want more than that. It's all that there's ever going to be between her and me. I know that, she knows that, and I hope you know that. Besides, she's a bit off her rocker."
"Hey, watch it. Renata may be a little.unusual but there's nothing wrong with that. She's perfect just the way she is." He glared at Seamus but Seamus just laughed.
"See? I did that on purpose. I insulted her and you got mad. She really cares about you too but she's the kind of person who puts herself in an iron shell, I guess, and she doesn't want her heart broken. So she won't let anybody break it. She won't tell what she's feeling until you do first."
"If you didn't already know, she's the one who broke up with me last year. I was happy the way things were."
"If you change your mind I know she'll be there. She's only got eyes for you anyways."
"Thanks, Seamus."
"G'night, Harry." He got up and put on his pajamas.
Harry drifted off to sleep.
^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^
Harry went into Hogsmeade and managed to slip away from Hermione and Ron despite the promises he'd overheard them make to Renata. It'd been a simple matter of putting on his invisibility cloak when no one was looking. He needed time alone to think.
He wandered the streets of the village for a while before ending up inside the Three Broomsticks where he decided it was safe to take off his cloak. Fortunately he caught sight of Seamus and Renata before doing so and he crept nearer to listen to their conversation.
"Drink up, Renata." Seamus's bottle of Butterbeer was half empty but Renata's was nearly full. "Don't look so glum."
"Did you at least try to talk to him? Don't lie to me, I swear upon my father's grave that I'll know if you lie." Her eyes were cold.
"I swear, Renata. I'm not lying. I did try. Honestly. I made sure everything was out in the open. He misses you."
"Misses me? I hardly give him a moment to himself. After all, I promised Sirius I'd take care of him." She took a tiny sip.
"You've told me. But he misses you. He never wanted to break up with you."
Harry crept even closer to hear her next words, which were hardly more than a murmur, "Neither did I."
"What did you say?"
"Oh. Nothing." She made an attempt to grin. "Forget it."
"Why don't you just tell him?"
"I already told you. Nobody's allowed to break my heart."
"You must really care about him if you think he might break your heart."
"You're right. I do," she told him solemnly.
"So how's the Quiditch team-" Seamus began.
Renata tensed, "Wait. He's here."
"What are you talking about? Who?"
"Harry. Sometimes I can sort of sense him, and I know where he is, even if he's on the other side of the school. Or I know what he's feeling or thinking just by looking at him or touching his hand, sometimes not even that. He can be in another room and I know. It's weird, but sometimes I just know these things."
"And right now?" Seamus asked quietly.
"And right now I know he's in here somewhere. Probably very near by. But where? I told him to stay with Hermione and Ron!" she said angrily. She raised her voice slightly, enough to be heard within ten feet, "If I find out that you ran away from them, Harry, you're going to be awfully sorry! I mean it. It'll only take me another minute or so to figure out where you are, even if you're invisible." She closed her eyes and after a slight hesitation pointed directly at Harry. "I know you're there."
Harry froze. If he moved she'd hear him for sure.
She stepped forward inch by inch and after fumbling a bit (and knocking his glasses askew) she found he shoulder and gripped it tightly. She made a guess at where his head was and whispered fiercely to him; "Wait for me outside the door and when nobody's looking take off that dumb cloak? You hear?"
He made his voice as quiet as he could while still audible enough for Renata to hear, "Yeah. I heard." She released him and he walked outside.
Harry just barely heard Seamus ask, "That Harry?"
"Yeah," replied Renata. "Thanks for the drink, Seamus. Glad we talked. I've got to-" and that was all Harry heard before he got outside. When it appeared no one was coming he took off his invisibility cloak and stuffed it in his schoolbag that he'd brought along to carry it in originally.
Harry waited by the door but it was less than a moment before Renata came out.
"How long were you standing there?"
"Long enough."
"How long?" Her eyes narrowed and her voice was dangerous.
"Long enough to hear you swear on your father's grave."
"Oh." She was silent a while before saying, "Harry?"
"What?"
"Nothing. Never mind." She turned away.
Harry didn't like to see Renata sad, "Come on. Let's go for a walk. You'll feel better."
"Okay, but if you try to sneak away then I'm going to put a leasing spell on you. You know what? For listening in on my conversation I'm going to put that spell on you anyway." She performed the spell. "You can't go more than five feet from me until I sever the spell." She smiled. "Let's go find Ron and Hermione." She moved quickly and Harry felt himself pulled along as though there were an invisible rope at his waist. He sped up so that he was side by side with her.
She didn't bring up anything she'd said inside the Three Broomsticks and Harry knew better than to bring something up when she didn't want to. He'd done that before and it wasn't pleasant. Last time, it had led to one of their biggest fights and a lot of embarrassment. Instead they discussed Quiditch and Gryffindor's first game that would soon approach.
"I've decided on a slightly more rigorous training schedule, if the rest of the team approves, and I've got some knew strategies for the game."
"Do I get a say in any of this?" asked Harry.
"No," she said, happily.
He shook his head. "You're impossible."
"I know. That's what's so much fun." She grinned at him and he couldn't help but smile back.
Harry decided to take a chance, though he knew he'd probably regret it later, "You know, I've really missed you."
"I'm right here. Just like always."
"Yeah, but that's the worst way to miss someone."
Her face and tone softened, "I told you I wouldn't come with Seamus today if you didn't want me to." Renata never did as anyone wanted her to do, but in this, Harry knew she was telling him the truth.
"I know. But I just want you to be happy," he said.
"Well, I wasn't happy today. Seamus is a great guy, but I would have been a lot happier if I was here with someone else."
"Really?"
"Of course."
They saw Ron and Hermione talking quite happily together and even holding hands and sitting rather close on a bench outside one of the shops. Harry said decisively, "Let's go. I don't think we need to bother them."
She caught sight of Ron and Hermione. "You're right. I better get you back to Hogwarts before you catch a cold and die."
"Right. You're going to keep your more promises to Sirius if it kills me."
She smiled. "Yup. Besides, this gives me more time to think about what I'm going to say to Ron and Hermione when I yell at them later for letting you get away from them earlier."
"It's not their fault. It was mine."
"That doesn't matter."
"Why not?"
"Because I feel like yelling at them and that's what I'm going to do. This just gives me a longer opportunity to think of what to say to them."
* * * * * * * * *
The next Monday Harry was passing notes with Renata in potions when suddenly a dark shadow moved in front of him.
"Potter! Delano! Passing notes in class, I see. That will cost you a detention each." Snape snatched the scrap of parchment from the desk. "Well, let me read it allowed so everyone can hear. Miss Delano writes: 'He so depressed. I wonder what we should do. I really want to help.' Mister Potter replies: 'Hurt like that doesn't just go away. I don't think there's anything we can do for him.' Who are you talking about?" Snape's eyes narrowed and focused on them.
Renata hesitated before answering, "It's my uncle. You see, he always gets depressed this time of year. The anniversary of when he lost two of his closest friends is this Wednesday, sir. On Halloween. That sort of thing never really heals."
Harry sighed inwardly with relief. That was quick thinking on Renata's part. Snape would have been furious if he'd known they were talking about Malfoy.
"I'll just continue then. Miss Delano writes: 'You're right, Harry.' Potter being right? That's a first. Potter replies: 'Ren, I wondering if you'd come with me to.' The conversation seems to have halted there."
"That's when you came and picked up the parchment, sir."
"Really? Then what were you going to ask her, Potter?"
Harry hoped his face didn't betray his lie as he said, "I was going to ask her if she'd come with me to the library to help me study my divination. I was having difficulties with it, sir."
"Very well. I think you need to sit elsewhere for the remainder of the class. Gather your things and go sit by Mister Malfoy." Snape sneered and resumed his lesson.
Renata whispered to Harry before he got up, "Use the live-write spell!"
He gave a slight nod to tell her he'd heard and he moved to where Malfoy was sitting.
"Keep your distance, Potter. I'm not going to get in trouble because of you," muttered Malfoy, he began to chop up ingredients. This was the most he'd said to Harry since Renata broke into his mind.
"Snape would never give you detention, you're his favorite," muttered Harry.
"Not anymore."
"What?"
"Just shut-up, Potter. I need to get back to my work." Draco didn't say another word throughout the rest of the lesson.
Harry, pretending to take notes used his live-write paper to talk to Renata. "Something's up with, Malfoy. He's all weird and sullen," wrote Harry.
Purple ink appeared under what he'd written. "I wonder why. He's certainly no fun to tease anymore. What caused the schism with him and his cronies?"
"He's not talking."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing."
"Can you believe he gave us detention?"
"Detention with Snape is about as much fun as setting your hair on fire or being chased by a dragon."
"Actually being chased by a dragon sounds like it'd be fun."
"No, it's not!"
"What were you going to ask me earlier? I know it wasn't something stupid like the library."
Harry didn't write anything.
"If you don't tell me you know I'm going to find out anyway. I always do." She drew three heavy lines under the word "always".
"Well, Ren, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me the next time there's a weekend when the students are allowed to go." Harry wrote this and looked over to where Renata was sitting.
She seemed rather stunned for a few seconds before adopting a somewhat satisfied look and shifting her attention to Harry. She smiled. Harry hoped that was a good sign but with Renata it was always hard to tell.
"You mean like a date?" she wrote.
His handwriting was unsteady as he wrote one more word, "Yeah." He looked at her again.
She nodded at him and wrote, "Okay. But watch out, Snape's coming to you."
Harry slipped the live-write sheet under his class notes. When Snape passed by he saw only a diligent student. He glared and went on to criticize someone else's work.
When Snape dismissed the class he ask Renata and Harry to remain behind. "You will do your detentions tonight. 8 o'clock sharp meet me in my office. I am a busy man and if you do not arrive on time I will add 2 more detentions."
Harry and Renata walked out together glumly after answering a resigned, "Yes, sir".
* * * * * * * * *
That night's detention was awful. Harry had to scrub out cauldrons that obviously hadn't been cleaned in years and Renata had to copy out notes for students who had been absent. One student had been out sick in the hospital wing for nearly three weeks, with lots of notes missing.
Harry and Renata walked back to the Gryffindor common room. Renata complained, "My hand is killing me! Look at this. I can't believe how much it hurts. What I wouldn't give for a computer to use in here. You realize I still have to write out all my homework?"
"Look at my fingers. They look like prunes." He showed her his fingers up close.
She gagged. "Ugh. That stench is never going to come out, you know."
Harry agreed. It was awful.
"So, what made you ask me about Hogsmeade? The next one probably won't be until nearly Christmas. Well, maybe November."
He hesitated.
"I want the truth, Harry."
"When I saw you there with Seamus, Ren, I realized that I really wished it was me that you were there with and not him. Ren, I guess I felt kind of."
"Kind of what?" She was grinning."
Harry turned red as he muttered, "Jealous."
"What was that?"
"Jealous, okay? Ren, I really wanted that to be me. I was going to ask you that night I ran into you at the Owlery but Ron had just told me you were going with Seamus. I'd forgotten. I.I miss you," he ended lamely. "Stop grinning like an idiot!"
Her grin evaporated but was replaced by a genuine smile.
It took a lot of self-control for Harry not to kiss her right then and there. She looked so beautiful. Ren was a welcome break from feeling like he was carrying the fate of the world on his shoulders, but instead of kissing her Harry just said goodnight and went back up to the dormitory where Dean and Ron were already asleep.
"Harry?"
"Yeah, I'm here," his words were muffled because he'd already closed the curtains around his four-poster.
"Can we talk?"
"I guess so." He opened the curtains and Seamus came and sat down on the end of his bed.
"Harry, I know you still really care about Renata so I'm just going to tell you the truth. Yeah, I like her. I've said since she first came to Hogwarts that she was good-looking and how great it was that she was so awesome at Quiditch. But I knew she wasn't interested in me. And I know she still isn't interested in me. Remember the back to school feast of our fifth year? That lecture she gave Dean and I about being chauvinistic pigs, absolutely terrifying."
"She treats everybody that way. You want to know how often she calls me an arrogant pig?"
Seamus grinned. "At least as often as Ron calls Hermione a know-it- all?" He quirked an eyebrow at Harry and shook his head. "It's not the same, Harry. She likes me as a friend. I don't want more than that. It's all that there's ever going to be between her and me. I know that, she knows that, and I hope you know that. Besides, she's a bit off her rocker."
"Hey, watch it. Renata may be a little.unusual but there's nothing wrong with that. She's perfect just the way she is." He glared at Seamus but Seamus just laughed.
"See? I did that on purpose. I insulted her and you got mad. She really cares about you too but she's the kind of person who puts herself in an iron shell, I guess, and she doesn't want her heart broken. So she won't let anybody break it. She won't tell what she's feeling until you do first."
"If you didn't already know, she's the one who broke up with me last year. I was happy the way things were."
"If you change your mind I know she'll be there. She's only got eyes for you anyways."
"Thanks, Seamus."
"G'night, Harry." He got up and put on his pajamas.
Harry drifted off to sleep.
^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^
Harry went into Hogsmeade and managed to slip away from Hermione and Ron despite the promises he'd overheard them make to Renata. It'd been a simple matter of putting on his invisibility cloak when no one was looking. He needed time alone to think.
He wandered the streets of the village for a while before ending up inside the Three Broomsticks where he decided it was safe to take off his cloak. Fortunately he caught sight of Seamus and Renata before doing so and he crept nearer to listen to their conversation.
"Drink up, Renata." Seamus's bottle of Butterbeer was half empty but Renata's was nearly full. "Don't look so glum."
"Did you at least try to talk to him? Don't lie to me, I swear upon my father's grave that I'll know if you lie." Her eyes were cold.
"I swear, Renata. I'm not lying. I did try. Honestly. I made sure everything was out in the open. He misses you."
"Misses me? I hardly give him a moment to himself. After all, I promised Sirius I'd take care of him." She took a tiny sip.
"You've told me. But he misses you. He never wanted to break up with you."
Harry crept even closer to hear her next words, which were hardly more than a murmur, "Neither did I."
"What did you say?"
"Oh. Nothing." She made an attempt to grin. "Forget it."
"Why don't you just tell him?"
"I already told you. Nobody's allowed to break my heart."
"You must really care about him if you think he might break your heart."
"You're right. I do," she told him solemnly.
"So how's the Quiditch team-" Seamus began.
Renata tensed, "Wait. He's here."
"What are you talking about? Who?"
"Harry. Sometimes I can sort of sense him, and I know where he is, even if he's on the other side of the school. Or I know what he's feeling or thinking just by looking at him or touching his hand, sometimes not even that. He can be in another room and I know. It's weird, but sometimes I just know these things."
"And right now?" Seamus asked quietly.
"And right now I know he's in here somewhere. Probably very near by. But where? I told him to stay with Hermione and Ron!" she said angrily. She raised her voice slightly, enough to be heard within ten feet, "If I find out that you ran away from them, Harry, you're going to be awfully sorry! I mean it. It'll only take me another minute or so to figure out where you are, even if you're invisible." She closed her eyes and after a slight hesitation pointed directly at Harry. "I know you're there."
Harry froze. If he moved she'd hear him for sure.
She stepped forward inch by inch and after fumbling a bit (and knocking his glasses askew) she found he shoulder and gripped it tightly. She made a guess at where his head was and whispered fiercely to him; "Wait for me outside the door and when nobody's looking take off that dumb cloak? You hear?"
He made his voice as quiet as he could while still audible enough for Renata to hear, "Yeah. I heard." She released him and he walked outside.
Harry just barely heard Seamus ask, "That Harry?"
"Yeah," replied Renata. "Thanks for the drink, Seamus. Glad we talked. I've got to-" and that was all Harry heard before he got outside. When it appeared no one was coming he took off his invisibility cloak and stuffed it in his schoolbag that he'd brought along to carry it in originally.
Harry waited by the door but it was less than a moment before Renata came out.
"How long were you standing there?"
"Long enough."
"How long?" Her eyes narrowed and her voice was dangerous.
"Long enough to hear you swear on your father's grave."
"Oh." She was silent a while before saying, "Harry?"
"What?"
"Nothing. Never mind." She turned away.
Harry didn't like to see Renata sad, "Come on. Let's go for a walk. You'll feel better."
"Okay, but if you try to sneak away then I'm going to put a leasing spell on you. You know what? For listening in on my conversation I'm going to put that spell on you anyway." She performed the spell. "You can't go more than five feet from me until I sever the spell." She smiled. "Let's go find Ron and Hermione." She moved quickly and Harry felt himself pulled along as though there were an invisible rope at his waist. He sped up so that he was side by side with her.
She didn't bring up anything she'd said inside the Three Broomsticks and Harry knew better than to bring something up when she didn't want to. He'd done that before and it wasn't pleasant. Last time, it had led to one of their biggest fights and a lot of embarrassment. Instead they discussed Quiditch and Gryffindor's first game that would soon approach.
"I've decided on a slightly more rigorous training schedule, if the rest of the team approves, and I've got some knew strategies for the game."
"Do I get a say in any of this?" asked Harry.
"No," she said, happily.
He shook his head. "You're impossible."
"I know. That's what's so much fun." She grinned at him and he couldn't help but smile back.
Harry decided to take a chance, though he knew he'd probably regret it later, "You know, I've really missed you."
"I'm right here. Just like always."
"Yeah, but that's the worst way to miss someone."
Her face and tone softened, "I told you I wouldn't come with Seamus today if you didn't want me to." Renata never did as anyone wanted her to do, but in this, Harry knew she was telling him the truth.
"I know. But I just want you to be happy," he said.
"Well, I wasn't happy today. Seamus is a great guy, but I would have been a lot happier if I was here with someone else."
"Really?"
"Of course."
They saw Ron and Hermione talking quite happily together and even holding hands and sitting rather close on a bench outside one of the shops. Harry said decisively, "Let's go. I don't think we need to bother them."
She caught sight of Ron and Hermione. "You're right. I better get you back to Hogwarts before you catch a cold and die."
"Right. You're going to keep your more promises to Sirius if it kills me."
She smiled. "Yup. Besides, this gives me more time to think about what I'm going to say to Ron and Hermione when I yell at them later for letting you get away from them earlier."
"It's not their fault. It was mine."
"That doesn't matter."
"Why not?"
"Because I feel like yelling at them and that's what I'm going to do. This just gives me a longer opportunity to think of what to say to them."
* * * * * * * * *
The next Monday Harry was passing notes with Renata in potions when suddenly a dark shadow moved in front of him.
"Potter! Delano! Passing notes in class, I see. That will cost you a detention each." Snape snatched the scrap of parchment from the desk. "Well, let me read it allowed so everyone can hear. Miss Delano writes: 'He so depressed. I wonder what we should do. I really want to help.' Mister Potter replies: 'Hurt like that doesn't just go away. I don't think there's anything we can do for him.' Who are you talking about?" Snape's eyes narrowed and focused on them.
Renata hesitated before answering, "It's my uncle. You see, he always gets depressed this time of year. The anniversary of when he lost two of his closest friends is this Wednesday, sir. On Halloween. That sort of thing never really heals."
Harry sighed inwardly with relief. That was quick thinking on Renata's part. Snape would have been furious if he'd known they were talking about Malfoy.
"I'll just continue then. Miss Delano writes: 'You're right, Harry.' Potter being right? That's a first. Potter replies: 'Ren, I wondering if you'd come with me to.' The conversation seems to have halted there."
"That's when you came and picked up the parchment, sir."
"Really? Then what were you going to ask her, Potter?"
Harry hoped his face didn't betray his lie as he said, "I was going to ask her if she'd come with me to the library to help me study my divination. I was having difficulties with it, sir."
"Very well. I think you need to sit elsewhere for the remainder of the class. Gather your things and go sit by Mister Malfoy." Snape sneered and resumed his lesson.
Renata whispered to Harry before he got up, "Use the live-write spell!"
He gave a slight nod to tell her he'd heard and he moved to where Malfoy was sitting.
"Keep your distance, Potter. I'm not going to get in trouble because of you," muttered Malfoy, he began to chop up ingredients. This was the most he'd said to Harry since Renata broke into his mind.
"Snape would never give you detention, you're his favorite," muttered Harry.
"Not anymore."
"What?"
"Just shut-up, Potter. I need to get back to my work." Draco didn't say another word throughout the rest of the lesson.
Harry, pretending to take notes used his live-write paper to talk to Renata. "Something's up with, Malfoy. He's all weird and sullen," wrote Harry.
Purple ink appeared under what he'd written. "I wonder why. He's certainly no fun to tease anymore. What caused the schism with him and his cronies?"
"He's not talking."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing."
"Can you believe he gave us detention?"
"Detention with Snape is about as much fun as setting your hair on fire or being chased by a dragon."
"Actually being chased by a dragon sounds like it'd be fun."
"No, it's not!"
"What were you going to ask me earlier? I know it wasn't something stupid like the library."
Harry didn't write anything.
"If you don't tell me you know I'm going to find out anyway. I always do." She drew three heavy lines under the word "always".
"Well, Ren, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me the next time there's a weekend when the students are allowed to go." Harry wrote this and looked over to where Renata was sitting.
She seemed rather stunned for a few seconds before adopting a somewhat satisfied look and shifting her attention to Harry. She smiled. Harry hoped that was a good sign but with Renata it was always hard to tell.
"You mean like a date?" she wrote.
His handwriting was unsteady as he wrote one more word, "Yeah." He looked at her again.
She nodded at him and wrote, "Okay. But watch out, Snape's coming to you."
Harry slipped the live-write sheet under his class notes. When Snape passed by he saw only a diligent student. He glared and went on to criticize someone else's work.
When Snape dismissed the class he ask Renata and Harry to remain behind. "You will do your detentions tonight. 8 o'clock sharp meet me in my office. I am a busy man and if you do not arrive on time I will add 2 more detentions."
Harry and Renata walked out together glumly after answering a resigned, "Yes, sir".
* * * * * * * * *
That night's detention was awful. Harry had to scrub out cauldrons that obviously hadn't been cleaned in years and Renata had to copy out notes for students who had been absent. One student had been out sick in the hospital wing for nearly three weeks, with lots of notes missing.
Harry and Renata walked back to the Gryffindor common room. Renata complained, "My hand is killing me! Look at this. I can't believe how much it hurts. What I wouldn't give for a computer to use in here. You realize I still have to write out all my homework?"
"Look at my fingers. They look like prunes." He showed her his fingers up close.
She gagged. "Ugh. That stench is never going to come out, you know."
Harry agreed. It was awful.
"So, what made you ask me about Hogsmeade? The next one probably won't be until nearly Christmas. Well, maybe November."
He hesitated.
"I want the truth, Harry."
"When I saw you there with Seamus, Ren, I realized that I really wished it was me that you were there with and not him. Ren, I guess I felt kind of."
"Kind of what?" She was grinning."
Harry turned red as he muttered, "Jealous."
"What was that?"
"Jealous, okay? Ren, I really wanted that to be me. I was going to ask you that night I ran into you at the Owlery but Ron had just told me you were going with Seamus. I'd forgotten. I.I miss you," he ended lamely. "Stop grinning like an idiot!"
Her grin evaporated but was replaced by a genuine smile.
It took a lot of self-control for Harry not to kiss her right then and there. She looked so beautiful. Ren was a welcome break from feeling like he was carrying the fate of the world on his shoulders, but instead of kissing her Harry just said goodnight and went back up to the dormitory where Dean and Ron were already asleep.
