Chapter Twenty-Three - Past Tense
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong."
"Something's wrong..."
"Nothing is wrong."
Tony frowned. "You're just ignoring me for no reason then?"
"I'm not ignoring you." Michelle snapped, stepping further inside the apartment, eyes narrowed.
"Fine." Tony pushed past her. "If you're not gonna tell me, I'm gonna keep acting like nothing's wrong."
"Nothing is wrong." she reiterated.
"Good."
Tony stumbled into the bathroom scowling. There were still a fair number of boxes tossed haphazardly from when Michelle had moved out of her apartment a few days before. She'd been acting strangely ever since. Tony knew exactly what was wrong with her. It had been more than obvious that his reaction to the news she broke to him was not what she'd been hoping for, (or expecting of), from him…he was just trying to get her to admit it. Regardless, it wasn't his fault. Any red-blooded, testosterone driven, male would feel the same way. He was not, in any way, being territorial or possessive...He wouldn't even be considered human if he didn't get a little put-off by the situation...
He wasn't jealous either, though he knew she might insist otherwise. This wasn't about jealousy...Or at least, that was what he told himself.
Michelle collapsed against the couch, irritated at his insistent knowledge that he knew her so unbelievably well. Tony was being completely irrational anyway. He had absolutely no business being angry with her because she was meeting a friend for dinner.
Okay well...maybe that was a lie. She could see why the idea might make him uncomfortable. She too would definitely be made uncomfortable by it, but she would be sure to make a point of never telling him that. Dinner was dinner and that was all there was to it. He was supposed to trust her. It shouldn't matter who else she was with.
"I'm going to the store." Tony reemerged and informed the back of her head that was now fixedly flipping through a magazine, as if making a direct attempt to look distracted and deter him from any conversation he might try to make.
"Fine." Michelle turned the page without so much as a glance in his direction.
Michelle sighed as she looked up in time to see the door slam close. Perhaps she should've been more considerate when she sprung the news on him like that. It had been nights before, when they were packing boxes in her apartment to move the next day. The furniture transfer had already been completed and Michelle's bedroom was looking barer by the second.
"Are those the same pictures Alicia showed me?" he'd asked as Michelle tossed an identical in everything but colour photo album into her box of personal effects.
"Yeah, we pulled all our stuff together one summer and made them. Before she moved to New York..."
Tony said nothing as he removed it from the box and casually leafed through the first couple of pages, his eyes fixating on the numerous pictures of Michelle with Steve.
"What happened anyway...with Steve?" Curiosity finally overpowered him. Tony was dying to know what had compelled the ruination of an obviously serious relationship.
She shrugged. "After we graduated we decided we wanted different things."
Michelle hadn't forgotten about the conversation she'd had earlier that afternoon…she was just still trying to concoct a way to broach that subject that would result in the least amount of collateral damage...There was no avoiding it now though, she had to tell him.
"Actually uh...he called me."
Eyes widened slightly, Tony looked up.
"Steve?"
"Yeah, when I went to go get lunch." Earlier in the day Tony, Jack, and Michelle had spent the better part of the afternoon organizing staffing changes and trying to figure out potential promotions after they lost a fair amount of analysts to Division. Michelle had taken it upon herself to run out for some much need nourishment when three-o-clock rolled around.
"He's in LA." she nonchalantly explained. "And wants to get together."
"Oh..." Tony seemed unnerved by this, but said nothing.
"It's kinda strange isn't it?" he continued after a few minutes, his eyes inclined towards the open box on a chair, but his thoughts entirely elsewhere. "I mean...when was the last time you saw him?"
"He's been in Tallahassee...It's not exactly a hop, skip, and a jump away."
Tony said nothing while he, apparently satisfied with the amount that had been packed, closed the flaps and taped up the box they'd been working on.
"I'll take these ones to the car now." he lifted a few into his arms and exited the room.
When he returned Tony did not speak a word.
"What is it Tony?" Michelle asked, becoming a little annoyed with his determination to internalize each and everything thing that managed to get under his skin.
"Nothing. Don't worry about it."
"Tony..." she tried again, knowing if she didn't he would explode before he told her anything.
"Just well..." He ventured carefully. "Was it...y'know...serious?"
Michelle had known the conversation would rear its ugly head eventually, she was just hoping it might be one of those things that could be discussed via e-mail from entirely different continents, as opposed to face-to-face.
"Well um..." she sat down on the bed feeling her body temperature rising as it attempted to sweat out of the nerves that had formed in the pit of her stomach.
Tony's head was cocked to one side, and his jaw kinked off center, as if trying to ease her mind with the suggestion that he too found this conversation awkward, as much as it was necessary.
And it was necessary. Managing to avoid it for six months did not say anything about how important the conversation was and Michelle knew this. He had to understand what had effectively devastated her, whether she had allowed anyone to realize it at the time or not. That Steve had been the reason practically every relationship since then had been short-lived, or void of any real emotional intimacy with the other person.
With Tony...the walls she'd spent so many years building up had come crashing down before Michelle even had time to man her battle stations and prepare a good defense. With Tony, she found it worth risking whatever it was she was trying to protect against...
Heartbreak.
Her mother had been right...about that at least. Steve had, with the greatest of ease, broken Michelle's heart. First loves, (first real loves anyway), had a tendency to do that. Young, naive, and vulnerable, she hadn't been wary of trusting him. He gave her attention like no one ever had before. He told her she was beautiful in a way that actually made her believe he thought she was beautiful; not that an outfit looked particularly good one night, or her makeup was exceptionally well done...but that she, Michelle, was beautiful. Something she'd never truly comprehended until she heard Steve say it aloud. The insecurities associated with adolescence seemed to vanish little by little, and it was as though he was something substantial, that she would never have cause to doubt.
It had taken years for Michelle to realize that the purpose of that relationship was, in the end, to cause her pain. To teach her a lesson about the difference between a runaway, head-in-the-clouds romance, and one that was real.
Steve would always be the one who had performed countless little gestures each and every day to get a laugh or a smile out of her…Who came up with extravagantly planned outings and whispered things she'd only read about in those cheesy romance novels that no one ever believed they'd really live to hear…
But Michelle didn't know how to make Tony understand that. It was complicated. Steve was the one who'd set the bar for how she deserved to be treated by the men that came in and out of her life from then on. Michelle struggled to find a way to verbalize that the reason she could love Tony as much as she did was due, in a large part, to Steve.
"We dated through college." she told Tony flatly. "After that I started working a lot and...well...he got transferred and wanted us to get married so I could move with him. I didn't want to leave my job..."
Tony did not say anything, so Michelle continued.
"I told him..." she took a deep breath. "I told him I couldn't do that and I didn't think I'd ever be able to...So he ended it. He said waiting for me to be ready when it might never happen was too hard..."
Tony glanced upwards, gritting his teeth a little bit as he asked the next question.
"So he was um...the first person you ever...y'know..."
Michelle turned crimson, but remained unwavering as she faced Tony head on. Ultimately, it was a fact of life. And as much as she loved Tony to death, there were still the few select occasions when she couldn't help but think back on her "first time" ever, with Steve, and smile. He had been so wonderful throughout the whole thing, asking again and again if she was alright, and telling her it was okay to be nervous and promising he was right there with her. He'd done everything he could to make her comfortable, and to make it special. Her remembering moments like that in affection said nothing of how she cared for him
"Yes."
At this, Tony flinched enough for Michelle to notice.
"Believe it or not..." she stated, a little more defensively than she'd intended. "I have slept with other people..."
He cringed inwardly this time, wondering why he was becoming so unhinged at the notion of this now. Surely he'd realized that before…He didn't want to think about Michelle with someone else though. He didn't want to think about her being touched and kissed by anyone other than him. The image of Michelle curled up against someone else; her skin pressed against theirs...just about sent Tony through the roof. Whoever it was probably wouldn't have realized that she, as independent as she appeared to be, shivered if the blankets weren't covering her completely. Or that she always slept best with her cheek resting in the crook of his neck and his arms ensconcing her body at every angle...That she liked to feel safe and protected and have nothing to worry about…for a little while anyway.
No one else would understand. No one else could possibly appreciate how lucky they were that they could do those things...especially not people who had been the ones to end the relationship because Michelle's job was too important for her to forget...It meant they didn't understand her, and that was simply unforgivable.
"I know," he spoke sourly, avoiding her wary looks.
"So I'm meeting him for dinner next Thursday."
"Alright," he turned away. "I'll make sure your workload gets transferred to the night shift by five. Early enough?"
"Oh...yeah, thank you."
It hadn't bothered Michelle then but it did now. Why was he acting like that? The abrupt change of subject meant he was obviously uncomfortable, but adamantly refused to tell her. She hated when he did this, internalized things...He, after all, always told her off for doing the same thing. That annoyed her.
"Hey, I'm back."
"Alright."
"Michelle..." he moved across the room and touched her arm. "What's wrong?"
"Maybe you should be asking yourself the same thing."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I did have a life before you." she crisply reminded him.
Tony's eyes narrowed, finally catching her meaning.
"Tony please...just tell me..."
"It's not a big-"
"Tony!" Michelle warned, becoming agitated now.
"Fine. I don't like it."
Michelle, although relieved he was at least talking to her now, was upset by this.
"What's wrong with it?"
"You honestly think it's a coincidence he's showing up now?"
She stood, walking towards the window.
"He didn't even know I was engaged."
"And he does now?" Tony raised an eyebrow.
"Of course." she snapped, bursting his bubble of what he could potentially use to prove his point. "You can't possibly think he's trying to make something happen. It's been years, and he broke up with me, remember?"
Tony sat silently brooding.
"He's my friend Tony; I'll always care about him..."
"I'm not trying to tell you ya shouldn't go." he stated finally, allowing his thoughts to slow down long enough for him to speak.
"I'm just saying to be careful."
"Steve's not a bad guy."
"I sure as hell hope not...for his sake..." he admonished as he rose to his feet, forcing Michelle to bite her tongue to keep from pointing out how incredibly overdramatic he was being.
"But just the same..." He softened, brushing an errant curl behind her ear. "Be careful."
"What time's he picking you up?" Tony asked, coming in from work just as Michelle was applying the finishing touches to her outfit. Apparently they were going to a recently opened restaurant that Steve had heard about from a friend. The dress she wore was black with a square-cut neckline that clung to Michelle's every curve. Her hair was loose, framing her face, but she'd done something to it. It was smoother, and a lot less curly. Tony wasn't sure how much he liked that. It looked different; in general, Michelle looked different. Her lips were a glossy red, making them look particularly plump and lush, and her lashes had been curled to emphasizes just how perfectly almond shaped her eyes really were. She was more...glamorous. He vaguely remembered ever seeing her wear that much makeup, and wondered why this occasion seemed to merit the sudden change.
Michelle checked her watch. "About ten minutes." she informed in a light, airy voice, as she applied a quick dusting of bronzer to the apples of her cheeks, forehead, and collarbone.
"You're home early." She broke the silence, noticing him inspecting her every motion through the reflection in the mirror.
"Haven't been any new active protocols since last week." he reminded her. "Not much of a status report to work up."
"What time's your reservation?" he asked, arms folded as he leaned back against the bed.
"Eight-thirty." She glanced at him over her shoulder. "Can you pass me my shoes?" indicating to the lone pair of pointy-toed black heels that rested by the door. Michelle slipped them on as she began to fill her small clutch with a few assorted items.
Tony continued to stare with a creased brow as she did the clasp on a small diamond pendant necklace.
She spun around to face Tony, finally calling him on the facial expressions he was giving her.
"What's wrong?" she asked, frowning back. "The dress?"
Tony shook his head. "No... I mean...You look gorgeous."
She smiled slightly but then remembered what she'd been prying at in the first place.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
The buzzer to the apartment could be heard through the open bedroom door and uncomfortable silence echoed throughout the room.
"Don't worry..." he insisted, moving towards the hall. "It's nothing."
Michelle pressed a freshly manicured fingernail onto the intercom button.
"Hey Michelle!" it was Steve, the excitement apparent in his voice.
"Hey um...come on up." she shot a nervous glance at Tony, not sure if he in his present mood, and Steve in the same room would be the best combination.
"I'm taking a shower anyway." he told her blandly.
She kissed him quickly before he left; causing the corners of his lips to twitch slightly against his will as she brushed the tip of her nose against his.
"Have a good time."
"Michelle!" Steve exclaimed the instant he saw her, throwing his arms around her and pulling her into a firm embrace. That made her uncomfortable for some reason. He seemed to hold on a good bit longer than necessary and she wasn't sure what to attribute to that.
"I can't believe how long it's been."
She smiled courteously, slightly relieved she had been released and beginning to wonder what in the world had made her possibly think this was a good idea. The memories seem to come back at warp speed and Michelle was reminded of exactly what had happened the last time they had seen each other. Steve had been in LA a couple of years ago and coincidentally, was at the same bar she ventured to with Alicia one night. They'd walked in to find him sitting at the far corner, nursing a rum and coke, (his drink), with his hands all over some girl.
"I know I know..." she responded in a daze, doing a quick scan of the apartment and partially wishing her cell phone would ring, or Tony would come out announcing there was some imminent threat at CTU that required their immediate attention, relieving her of any obligation to spend a whole night with Steve.
She cared for Steve of course; it was inevitable that she do so. But seeing him again was starting to feel a lot like salt in an open wound.
"So where's this boyfriend of yours?"
"Fiancé," she corrected before she could stop herself and watched Steve's eyes travel conspicuously over the diamond she bore on the hand clutching her purse.
"Right, right," he brushed it off. "You ready to go?"
She accepted the arm he offered her and closed the door from behind.
Tony heard the door close and waited a few minutes before reemerging. He flopped back on the couch and flipped on ESPN, hoping there was something to take his mind off the whole ordeal until she came back home.
"So how's work?" she asked once they'd been seated.
"Great..." Steve was a structural engineer for a firm back in New York. The project he was working on now had transferred him to Florida for the time being.
"I miss LA though."
Michelle laughed. He'd always been, as far as Michelle was concerned, the stereotypical California boy. She had no idea how he'd survived when he substituted the beach and lazy summer nights year-round, for the frigid winters and cutthroat business world of Manhattan. Alicia yes...Steve...not in a million years.
"You look great by the way." he gently interrupted her.
She blushed. "Thanks."
"How's work anyway? Alicia told me you got promoted."
"Good...busy, but what else is new?"
"What does uh...?"
"Tony?"
"Yeah... What does he do?"
"We work together."
Steve smirked. "For you?"
Michelle raised an eyebrow. "No...He's my boss."
The conversation was a little awkward after that, but Steve persevered, embarrassed by the insensitivity of his comment.
"I'm sorry Michelle; I didn't mean anything by that."
She waved it off. "It's not a big deal, don't worry."
"Got a sec?" Tony pleaded silently to the person on the other end of the phone. She heard the hint of anxiety mixed with a mild lament in his voice.
Lisa laughed. "What's on your mind?"
He sighed, lowering his voice so Lisa had to strain to hear.
"Michelle..." he muttered under his breath.
"What happened?" she asked, slightly exasperated.
"She's out right now...with this guy she dated a few years ago..."
"And you're not happy because...?"
"I dunno...I guess I shouldn't care but she didn't exactly want to break up..."
"And you're worried he's showing up now to sweep Michelle off her feet and confess his undying love for her?"
"No." He shot down her statement, although it was a lot closer to the truth than he cared to admit.
Lisa giggled. "Lies. You wouldn't be calling if..."
On Lisa's end of the phone, someone called her name.
"I'm talking to Tony!" she called back in a muted voice, having covered the receiver to avoid bursting his eardrum.
The person responded.
"No it's not that...Michelle's having dinner with an ex-boyfriend..."
"Hey!" Tony snapped, getting Lisa's attention back. "Who the hell are ya telling? This isn't exactly something I want the world knowing."
"Relax..." she laughed easily. "It's just Rach."
"That's worse..." he grumbled, smirking a little in light of the situation. The witty back and forth banter he was about to be subjected to from his sisters never failed to ease his mood.
"Hey Tony," Rachel's voice came on the line. "I'm here to offer you my perils of wisdom."
"It's not a big deal; I just wanted to talk to Lise."
"What am I? Chopped liver?"
Tony said nothing, knowing nothing he said would silence Rachel when she had a point to make...as well as a few carefully catalogued sarcastic remarks she'd saved for just such an occasion.
"So..." she began, giving fair warning that the sarcasm would be making its appearance first. "Is Tony Almeida, former Marine and Federal Agent extraordinaire feeling threatened?" she taunted.
"Look I'm not in the mood for this so if ya have a point, make it..." he retorted, feigning a lot more irritation than he actually felt, and knowing full well Rachel would be able to see right through it.
"From what I've heard," she began, her tone leveling to one that was professional and direct. "Michelle doesn't seem the type to get caught up in anything with some guy she dated eons ago...no matter who he is."
"Definitely not." Lisa chimed in. "She adores you."
Tony blushed; very glad the conversation was not occurring in person.
"It's not that simple. He wanted to get married...she refused to leave her job and he ended it."
Saying the words aloud made Tony even more bitter towards Steve. He obviously hadn't understood Michelle like he damn well was supposed to have.
"Tony..." Rachel smiled softly on her end of the line. "Everyone has past relationships...And regardless of what happened, they still mean something. You should know that better than anyone."
"Exactly. And no matter what this guy wants to see her for...what does it matter?" Lisa gently reminded him. "You trust her."
"Of course I do."
"Then don't worry about it. She'll be home in a few hours and it'll be exactly the same as it was when she left."
"Yeah." he leaned back against the armrest. "You're right...both of you..."
"Of course we're right." Rachel retorted, voice laced with sarcasm once again. "We're always right...you should know that by now."
Tony laughed.
Both Steve and Michelle seemed to relax a little after a few sips of alcohol and by the time the dinner orders had been placed on the table the evening had become much more enjoyable.
"How's your dad?"
"Great actually." she smiled. "We went to DC to visit at Christmas."
They both took a bite of food.
"What about your parents?"
"Good. My dad had a bit of a spell last year, but he's doing fine now."
"Say hello for me."
Steve chuckled a little. "I'm sure that would make their day. They still talk about you..."
Her cheeks grew warm and she smiled politely. "Really?"
"Oh yeah." he agreed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "They loved you; still think I was on drugs when...y'know...we broke up."
"Well then definitely tell them I say hi." she grinned.
Steve reached for the bottle of wine on the table and poured the last few mouthfuls into her glass.
Michelle was beginning to feel flushed and she fanned her burning cheeks while Steve downed the rest of his own glass. She chanced a quick glance to her watch and noted it was already ten-thirty. Where in the world had the night gone?
"Anyway Tony I'm beat. I'm gonna go to bed-" Lisa was in the process of hanging up the phone when Rachel stopped her.
"Did you even tell him yet?"
"Tell me what?"
"No...I haven't even told mom and dad..."
"Tell me what?"
"C'mon Lise! You have to tell Tony..."
"Tell me what?" he shouted for the first time, knowing it was the only way he'd get a word in edge-wise.
"Lisa got her LSATs back."
"You did?" The excitement and anxiety levels rose in Tony's voice. "How'd you do?"
"One-eighty." Lisa quietly informed him, a little embarrassed at the fuss Rachel had been making, and would continue to make for the next few weeks.
"I believe that's what they consider a high score, Ms. Almeida. Don't be so modest."
"That's great Kid." Tony gently congratulated her. "I knew you'd do great..."
Lisa smiled, grateful to receive nothing more than a simple congratulations, instead of what felt like an exaggerated declaration to everyone Rachel had spoken to from the moment the results had been opened. Lisa didn't want anyone making a big deal, and she loved Tony for knowing that.
"Thanks."
After another quick round of goodbyes and goodnights shared between the siblings, Tony hung up the phone and turned on the TV once again. He might not have thought this when he was younger...but sister's really were good for something.
"Do you remember..." Steve began, leaning in a little across the table. "When we drove to Palm Springs that one weekend?"
Michelle laughed. "Of course, how could I forget?"
"Every time that song comes on the radio I think of it."
"Oh my god…I can't believe I forgot about that!" she groaned in embarrassment as the memory came back. "That um...damn I can't even remember the name. It was something like..." she hummed the first few bars and felt her cheeks redden yet again when Steve smiled.
"Yeah, you kept replaying it the entire drive..."
"You never complained." she defended.
"Why would I? I loved it when you got like that..."
He continued to stare at her with a slight smirk on his lips, causing Michelle's stomach to twist uncomfortably as she broke his gaze.
"That was a great weekend."
He nodded. "I don't think anything's ever come close."
Michelle pressed her lips together, begging to differ but not telling him so.
"Michelle," Steve reached across the table and grabbed her hand that was resting against it. More taken aback than she let on by the gesture, Michelle kept her face neutral, hoping it was nothing more than a platonic hand squeeze.
"I know I'm a few years late in realizing this but...I miss you."
The words hung in the air while Michelle tried to collect her thoughts. It took a minute before she could finally speak again.
"I'm..." her voice cracked. "I'm not sure what you want me to say."
Steve shook his head. "No, no. You don't have to say anything...I know this is probably the worst timing ever and I have no right to tell you now but I just...had to let you know."
She continued to stare, wide-eyed.
"And um...I know I gave you a hard time when everything started happening...But I had no right to ask you to leave your job. You're good at what you do, and nothing ever justified me getting in the way."
Michelle felt herself tearing up at little at Steve's newfound understanding and respect for what she did…and for her. She couldn't help but think he was being genuine, despite all the warning signs her conscience, (and Tony's voice), were shooting her.
"Thanks." she smiled softly.
"Anyway look...I've had this since we went on that trip and I was gonna give it to you on your birthday...but since we missed that..." he placed a small velvet box on the table
"You kept it this long?"
He shrugged. "I still cared about you Michelle. That wasn't why we broke up. I wanted you to have this no matter what happened between us." He hesitated before adding the next comment.
"I was gonna give it to you at the funeral but that didn't exactly seem like the best time..."
Swallowing hard, another memory flooded over Michelle…a much more painful one. When her mother had died everyone had become dependent on her for one thing or another. Steve, on a whim, had flown to LA with Alicia in an attempt to help her sort out all the preparations.
Carefully, she lifted back the lid and sniffled a little when she realized what it was.
"That bracelet your parents gave you...The one you always used to wear…I don't know if you still have it, but I thought if you did you might have room for one more charm."
It was a small, silver palm tree, with a tiny diamond stud in the center of the foliage.
She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."
"C'mon then..." Steve pulled out her chair and offered a hand. "I'd better get you home before they kick us out of the restaurant."
When the nighttime air hit them, Steve draped his jacket over Michelle's shoulders. The thought had not occurred to her before that night, but the parallels between Steve and Tony really were undeniable. Both seemed to have acquired, over the time she'd spent with them, the ability to anticipate what she needed them to do.
The boundaries between them were becoming a little fuzzier and as she slid inside the cab, it became a little more unclear as to what it was about Tony she knew Steve would've never, even if he tried, be able to mimic.
It was her wordlessly reminiscing over their relationship as they walked towards the elevator, that made Michelle realized what it was that set them so very much apart from one another... at least in her mind.
Steve, in all his "grand gestures", had never found a way to keep it simple. To profess whatever it was he felt about her through something that would otherwise be incredibly plain, and incredibly boring. His agenda consisted of things any woman in the world would adore, not necessarily just her. Steve had never actually understood her...
Tony did though.
Tony knew rubbing her aching back after an unbearably long day was just as good as buying flowers and whisking her away to the beach...and that making sure the cupboards were stocked with Cheerios was better than all the boxes of chocolate in the world...
Michelle dug out her keys and pulled off the jacket before turning to face Steve.
"Thanks for everything; I had a lot of fun."
He nodded, looking a little sad now. "Me too."
"And thank you for my charm."
"I'm glad I got to see you again." he pulled her into a bear hug and kissed her cheek.
"And I hope Tony knows how lucky he is..."
Michelle wiped her eyes. As much as she respected Steve, she had never been more convinced of anything in her entire life...she knew how lucky she was.
"Bye Michelle."
She wiped her eyes again quickly before pushing the door open.
"Bye."
The TV was still on when Michelle stepped inside the apartment, but Tony was zonked out on the couch, obviously having fallen asleep awaiting her return. She kicked off her shoes, dropped her belongings in an empty chair, and crawled on beside him.
"Hey," she smiled as he stirred and opened his eyes.
Vision still a little blurry from sleep, Tony adjusted her against him, shifting his weight to make himself more comfortable.
"Hey sweetheart." he yawned. "How was it?"
"Fun." she closed her own eyes.
They sat silently for a few moments, Tony's hand tracing past the hemline of Michelle's dress and his thumb running gently across her bare leg. He twirled a few pieces of hair round her fingers in an attempt to revive the curls that had been lost when Michelle had done whatever it was she did to them before going out.
Michelle was completely overwhelmed by the motions and gestures Tony was making as she rested back against his shoulder, relishing in the silent declaration he was offering up of how much he really did love her.
His gentle caresses gradually decreased in frequency as his heavy lidded eyes fell shut again and his head rolled against the back of the couch.
"Tony?"
"Mhm…" he groaned, barely conscious now.
Michelle giggled softly before brushing back a few stray pieces of hair and kissing his cheek.
"I love you."
As they stumbled into bed that night and Tony slid up against her, Michelle sighed to herself. A couple of fingers trailed underneath her t-shirt and she kissed them firmly before linking them with her own and settling the now conjoined hands against her stomach. In the blissful, late-night quiet, the entire evening played out in Michelle's mind. Tony's breathing soon slowed and he nuzzled against her neck, scratching the delicate skin with a stubbly cheek. The night had resulted in a lot of things and one, most importantly, had been something she'd been trying to achieve in it's entirety for what seemed like her entire adult life. And it was because of the man sleeping beside her that she could finally do this…Michelle, with confidence, knew she would never again wonder what would've happened if she'd given into Steve's request and went with him. It didn't matter now, and it hadn't mattered for six months, because she could never be as happy as she was at that very moment…with Tony. Finally, after years of denial, Michelle Dessler could admit that she, undoubtedly, had closure.
