Disclaimer
I do not own Holes or my sanity.
Greg raised his fists as Armpit rounded on him. It was then that Greg realized just how big Armpit was. He squinted slightly as his mind began to race.
"Well, Greg, this was a horrible idea. Really, you are quite stupid. Man, he is a very large um… boy? Would Armpit be called a boy? He isn't a man, is he? He's not a boy, but not yet a man. Oh my god, I am making references to a Britney Spears song. Oh no. This was a horrible idea. Yeah… escape. Look for an escape route. I would rather not die today. Yeah… escape, that would be good," he thought as his eyes started to dart around the room.
"Hmm… window might be good… no, Squid is over there. Dude, I have never seen a towel look more menacing. He's probably going to choke me with it. And it was on his head. It will be all sweaty. Not only will I die, but I will die wet with sweat. Ew. Okay, another way out… um… the door? No, that kid from J Tent is over there. I heard he bites. I don't really want to be bit. He could give me rabies or something. All right, window is out, door is out, and there is… no other way out. Hmm….
"Well, I could either fight and die or roll up into a ball and die. If I roll up, I will look like a wuss, and then he may be merciful with me. If I fight, I may break my hand and then he may be merciful with me. But then if I don't die, I'll have a broken hand and that would be uncomfortable. But maybe I could go home. I may be fired though…. I could get a job at Starbucks. Or uh… J.C. Penney's. They are always hiring. Heard they paid okay. But then I hate people, and I think would snap at someone. That may get me fired. I could become an evil villain. That might be kind of cool. I've heard the pay is crap though. They never get their ransoms because of the damn good guy. Oh, but if I were to invent something that I could make billions and billions of dollars with, then I could build my evil empire. Yes. How about a uh… hmm… a um… lawn flamingo that acts as a uh… surveillance system and shoots lasers at burglars. That would be cool. Then I could make an army of flamingos and take over the world. Yeah. That's a great idea."
"Are you going to hit me or just stand there with your fists up?" Armpit asked as the whole group around laughed.
"I have always thought that it is better to wait until the precise moment to strike," Greg responded as his mind said, "This was a horrible idea, Greg. A horrible, horrible idea."
Armpit stared at him blankly, "The what moment?"
"Precise?"
"Look, hit me or I will hit you first!"
"Greg! What are you doing?" Trixie screamed as she entered the wreck room.
Greg turned to look at her quickly, "Trixie?"
Unfortunately for Greg, Armpit only saw the sudden movement and punched Greg right in the jaw. He was down in a second. Then it turned into total chaos. Adrienne tackled Armpit, Juliana started screaming, Trixie went to the unconscious Greg and Alice started lashing into X-Ray for letting the whole thing happen. Tap stood by watching with wide eyes. Giorgio ran in excited as Armpit started spinning to get Adrienne off.
"We got mail!" Giorgio yelled happily before he saw the scene before him. "Wow, what happened in here?"
"Well, Greg started a fight with Armpit, then the girls ran in, then Armpit hit Greg, then Adrienne tackled Armpit, Juliana started to scream, Alice started yelling at X-Ray, Trixie tried to revive Greg, and I made a lovely idea for my date with Zig tonight," Tap responded, leaning on the door frame.
"Right," Giorgio frowned. "STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!"
Everyone stopped and stared at Giorgio as he continued.
"What is wrong with you people! Armpit, why would you even get into a fight with Greg? He is much smaller than you! And all of you just standing there watching and let it happen? You all disgust me! Everyone must have known Greg would be pummeled, but everyone just watched! Adrienne, get off of freaking Armpit, Alice, X-Ray had nothing to do with this, and Trixie, he got into a fight because of you, so sit on that for a moment. Now I am going to go read my letter and maybe write a reply to that letter while eating some chocolate. Excuse me, as I am the only sane person in this whole camp."
With that, Giorgio swooped down, picked Greg up, and walked out of the wreck room.
Adrienne jumped off of Armpit and crossed her arms. The whole room was silent for a moment.
"Did you guys know that the average person spends thirty years mad at a family member?" Tap asked.
There was a collective rolling of eyes and life started up as normal. A pool game started, people started talking and the whole thing blew over.
Greg woke up on his cot, not sure of where he was.
"Oh my god, I'm dead," he said aloud.
"Nope, Greg, you couldn't be so lucky," Giorgio responded as he read his letter.
Greg rose up, rubbing his jaw, "What happened?"
"You got punched."
"How did I get here?"
"I carried you."
"What are you reading?"
"A letter from my parents in Africa. Apparently they were almost attacked by lions, and my dad peed his pants."
"Are we still at the camp?"
"Yes."
"Is my gun still not loaded?"
"I believe it is still not loaded, Greg."
"Damn."
Greg laid back down as Giorgio continued reading his letter.
"Giorgio?"
"Yes, Greg?"
"Was Trixie impressed?"
"I don't think so."
"Damn."
The two sat there in silence, bonding only as two people who had been stuck in a camp for juvenile delinquents could.
So, yeah, that was rather short, I think, but I could not think of anything to write. Thanks to VeriTEra (so… I guess that I am not updating fast enough? I will try harder, really. Oh, and my story is really cool), Nosilla (You are welcome! Not sure for what, but yeah. Gina is a loud mouth. I'm sure she will say something else about her prettiness and love for Mr. Sir), and BrokenAngel1753 (Gina is full of surprises). And that was it. Next week, we will discover something. We are out to discover.
