A/N: Welcome back to the world that is crazy and fanfictions thatare beautiful and true love makes all the difference. I am happy to announce (and also sad) that part 1 is coming to a close after next chapter. But don't fret-part 2 will be coming as soon as I can type it and submit it. I am also giving the link to the picture again, seeing as in the first chapter it didn't show up too well.
www. deviantart .com /deviation/ 5788812 (that's it, but without the spaces of course)
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't ask, don't care-I'm just all about the fluff and freaky scenes before the fluff.
Uncertain Feelings
Part 1
By: Apherion
Chapter 4: Suffering
Sakura and Ino stood outside the dressing room that Hinata was in. They were getting her to try-on this skimpy outfit that Hinata would never go for. They were standing right out the door just to make sure that she didn't run away. Hinata had made a full recovery from her incident three days after being brought to the hospital two weeks ago.
Their shopping trip had been delayed thanks to Sakura's overflow of hospital work and Ino's missions and boyfriend, Shikamaru. Hinata had been on leave due to the frying of her nerves. Sakura found it funny because Hinata just hung out with Sakura at the hospital during the last two weeks. Tsunade didn't say anything about it, but Sakura knew that Tsunade was ready to be shot of the timid girl. Sakura knew that Tsunade wasn't one who tolerated shyness.
During the three days, Naruto always pushed something forward or backward so he could see Hinata for a minimum of thirty minutes. Sakura had even been sunk in and after hearing some of the sensitive things coming from Naruto; she left feeling the familiar fuzziness of affection. Hinata would always be taken care of with Naruto as her man.
"I'm not coming out!" Hinata screamed shrilly after ten minutes of her struggling to get the lingerie on. Ino looked at Sakura with a wild gleam in her eyes.
"Oh, Hinata," Ino said in a motherly voice. "You don't have to come out." Sakura looked at Ino sternly.
"I don't?" Hinata was shocked as well. Ino looked back at Sakura, winked, and disappeared. There was a muffled cry and then there was a straggling sound. Sakura covered her mouth from bursting into laughter as Ino motioned for Sakura to run inside with great difficulty due to Hinata practically strangling her friend. Sakura got up and slipped in, sitting down once more after removing a mortified Hinata from a wounded Ino.
Sakura took two full seconds to consider Hinata in her outfit before laughing. Ino must've tried that, but the irregular sound made was Ino trying to laugh and Hinata trying to smother her. The lacy thing that Hinata was in left nothing to the imagination, as in a thin strip of red lace went around the chest area and the lacy panties were enough to get even Tsunade to laugh.
"Take…that ridiculous…thing…off," Sakura gasped attempting to catch her breath.
"I told you it wasn't something that I'd wear," Hinata replied seething. Sakura smiled, nonverbally saying 'I love you' to her friend.
"Yeah, but we just wanted to see what you'd look like in it. You'd never wear something that revealing," Ino informed the two, as if they didn't already know.
Sakura, Ino, and Hinata went their separate ways when they left the circuit of shopping. Ino turned down the street to her parents' flower shop and Hinata went directly straight heading for the Hyuuga Clan Main House. Sakura waved off both friends before turning around and going to her own home.
She fumbled with the key, but eventually got it inside the lock and twisted it around. A series of clicks followed and the door swung open with a creak on its hinges. They need to be oiled I see, Sakura noted as she past the threshold gingerly supporting her new belongings. She made her way to her bedroom, painted royal purple with lavender flowers sponged onto the walls. She smiled at it, dropping her goody bags at the foot of her bed.
She went back down the halls full of art and the few pictures she had of her and her parents. She stared at one affectionately. Her dad had her on his shoulders and she was laughing childishly. Sakura had his green eyes and his forehead, but she came to love it after Ino had become her friend, then enemy, and then friend once more.
Sakura found her mother, much shorter than her father, with long pink hair tied back much like Ino's hair. Sakura had inherited those blush colored locks and the torturing shortness from her mom. Sakura felt no ill will though; she just wished they'd come back.
She walked into the kitchen with a mind to eat something, but lost her appetite quite suddenly. The man shifted in the shadows of her unlit kitchen. Her inner self was becoming an incoherent, annoying voice inside her head. A glint of red registered however, making matters worse. Panic floated to the surface etched into her face. Her eyes widened, slightly dilated.
"Hello, Sakura," his voice was deep and velvety smooth, just like Sasuke's voice. His tall silhouette seemed to glide over to her spot that she stood, staring, begging to be dreaming. His murderous hand touched her cheek and she shrank away and shivered out of fear. Sakura moved away from him and felt the sting on her cheek resulting from the slap she had just received.
"Didn't think I'd get to him did you? Better yet, I'm sure you'd never understand why he's still alive." His voice was taunting her, begging her to launch out and attack him. He was daring her to be foolish. He reeked of blood, though he had none on him. Sakura scrunched her nose in revulsion. She looked to the floor in feeble attempt for help. It didn't work, but it did stop her from having to see the bloodlust in his red eyes. He grasped her chin and forced her face upwards. She struggled against his relentless hold and felt an arm snake around her waist, thrusting her intentionally into his body. She tried to remove herself, but it failed. Her lips were caught before she could evade him any longer.
He shoved her away from him, licking his lips. Sakura fell to the floor hard on her bottom. Tears sparkled from the instant pain, shooting up her nerves. Why was he here? Then her conscious caught up with the events. He had just kissed her. She blanched, and wiped her mouth on the back of her hand.
"I always wondered what it was about you that had Sasuke so mesmerized." His hungry gaze fell upon her once more and Sakura lost the warmth that had filled her effectively. Her body went rigid and she began to move, scooting to the hall she had just come from.
Her stomach twisted when she felt Itachi behind her. Her breathing hitched as his hand passed over her body sensually. She did not like the way he was touching her. She wanted him to leave her alone. She wanted to be rid of him. His arm was once more wrapped around her waist, pulling her unwillingly into him. She fought to get out from his grip, but in vain were her attempts. She felt his hot, heady breath on her neck.
"You can't get out, Sakura." His voice tickled her ear and he spun her around to face him. Though she knew she shouldn't, her eyes were allured into his gaze. The world split like it had the only time Kakashi used it. Sakura understood now that Kakashi didn't intend to force her to see what she had seen. He didn't even do anything to her, even though it seemed like he had. She had forced herself to see it so she didn't have to lay eyes on what Kakashi would've made her see.
This was worse than anything Kakashi could've come up with though. She felt her body clench with fear, seeing Itachi staring her down. She was unprotected in a literal sense and once she felt that in this alternate world her clothes had evaporated into thin air. She let forth a whimper and knocked her body unconscious, not wanting to experience a nightmare that she would always remember.
"Sakura," Tsunade's voice echoed thoroughly through her young apprentice's head. "Sakura, can you hear me?" Sakura blinked and looked around to see she was set securely in a hospital bed. She didn't know how she got there either.
"Huh," she whispered shakily. Then memories washed over her powerfully. She was glad that she was lying down for she would've fainted had she been standing.
"She looks so ill," a medic-nin whispered from somewhere.
"Stupid, she is," Naruto's voice quaked in her sensitive ears.
"Both of you shut up," Tsunade snapped, pissed off at the people slowly gathering in Sakura's hospital room. Practically all of Konoha knew about Sakura because the Hokage had announced it four days ago.
"Try and sit up Sakura." Sakura just shook her head and stayed lying down. She kept her green eyes shut and stared at the inside of her eyelids, listening.
"Can you remember anything?" The fifth Hokage asked, concerned about the welfare of her medic-nin and student. Sakura coughed and spluttered; issuing the confirmation that she knew all to well what happened.
"Enlighten us about it," Tsunade said and Sakura hesitated and opened her eyes. The people swam into focus and once they did, Sakura began to speak.
"You don't want to hear about it," Sakura started, hesitant to release the information.
"Go on, it may be relevant," Tsunade was speaking kindly to Sakura, but she shook her head.
"It is relevant, but I can't say it," Sakura wasn't going to push the information. She didn't need it to be spoken aloud.
"Naruto, Shinta, maybe you should both wait outside, you too Hinata." All three of them-Sakura didn't even notice that Hinata was in the room, that girl was just too quiet-left. Naruto didn't even put up a fight, not wanting to persist since Hinata was pushing him out the door. Shinta removed herself from the room as soon as Tsunade had suggested it.
"Now tell me what happened to you." Sakura kneaded her bottom lip, eyes shifty. Tsunade put a reassuring hand on hers, prompting speech.
"Itachi was in my house last-"
"Four nights ago," Tsunade corrected her. Sakura stared, oh yes. Kakashi always was out of it for longer than four days when Itachi attacked him.
"Well, he…" Sakura took in several deep breaths, preparing herself for what she was about to tumble from her mouth. "Itachi was in my kitchen; he touched me, and hit me after I tried to get away." She took in more breaths to ease the pain of her stomach tightening around her. Her breath was harder to sustain.
"He said Sasuke was still alive, and then he took my chin and wrapped an arm around my waist. He…he…" she felt tears falling down her cheeks. "He kissed me and pushed me away saying he always wondered what Sasuke found so interesting." She took in a deep breath, coming to her story's end. "Itachi grabbed me from behind and got me to look into his sharigan. I was in a totally different place…and…I was…he was…I knocked myself out so I wouldn't know about it…" Sakura finished weakly, tears pouring down her face. Trauma like that could leave someone twisted in a rather uncomfortable way. Tsunade wrapped her arms around the crying girl in from of her, trying to soothe her.
"Kakashi is getting married though in three days time. A wedding should cheer you up," said Tsunade on a lighter note. Sakura pushed away from the older woman.
"What...when Tsunade-sama...to who...who is he marrying?" Sakura stumbled in getting those questions out after choking down the 'getting married' piece. She couldn't believe it; maybe this was some other Kakashi and not hers. She focused on that, hers. She had thought it, and now she wondered would that even be possible? You can't be serious; you're actually considering him? Sakura shook her head, her inner-self getting in the way of her thinking. She didn't understand a thing anymore.
"He didn't tell you, but you're always training together," Tsunade sounded confused by this proclamation.
"No, we haven't. It stopped a long ways back. I've been training by myself or with Naruto, but Kakashi hasn't come to call at my house for nearly two months." Tsunade stared, open-mouthed.
"He announced his wedding to Konoha a day after you were committed to this hospital." She paused still in wonder. "He must've not wanted you to know." Sakura seethed, furious with her ex-sensei. Kakashi was getting married and he didn't want her to know about it. It wasn't right, not in the least bit.
"Sakura, are you all right?" The Hokage asked softly. No, Tsunade-Sama, I am not all right. My ex-teacher, supposed friend, is getting hitched in three days and he didn't even bother to drop a line.
"No, I mean, yes, nothing's wrong," Sakura's voice had been reduced to a whisper. Tsunade blinked, unsure how to take this let down Sakura compared to the feisty one she taught.
"Yeah, I think I'll be going now," Sakura stated, flinging the bed sheets off of her, standing shakily to her feet.
"No, Sakura I think you should-"
"Stay?" Sakura finished, "I won't, I'm sorry for sounding rude, but I must get back to my house. Naruto, with Ino's help, probably will have already trashed the place. I need to clean it so I can have guests over if I need them." Tsunade was shocked by the sudden mood swing from her student, but said nothing. She just let Sakura walk out without stopping her. Much like Kakashi had done on several occasions, but this time, she was going to kill Kakashi, no matter what.
The night air was biting cold, fall approaching fast, and summer coming to a close. She stalked into the night with a grimace set, her jaw clenched. She growled out of frustration at Kakashi.
How dare he not tell her? Who did he think he was, Hokage? What the hell was he playing at? All these thoughts and more raced through her over-worked brain as she trampled her way to where she knew to be Kakashi's refined home. I am his friend, I was his student, and he can tell me anything. Then a memory interrupted what she was on a tirade on.
"Not for children under eighteen."
She ground her teeth as she knocked on his door and to her amazement-and mostly outrage-Kina, Sasuke's ex-girlfriend, opened the door. She was the Wave Country girl that Sasuke had described in one word-because he was so good at using one word for practically everything-perfect. Sakura's blood boiled at the mere sight of the girl with golden, sunned skin, long, white hair that was tied back respectively, and deep, ocean blue eyes.
"Sakura, fancy seeing you"-Sakura shoved the girl up against the wall outside the door. She glowered at her, but decided she'd rid herself of the nuisance later. At the moment, she had a bone to pick with Kakashi. How could he possibly marry something like that? Sakura marched into what she believed to be the living room.
"Kakashi," she whispered menacingly, hearing the cracking and popping of the wood in the fireplace as they turned steadily into their ash counter-parts. The fire burning added an orange glow to the dark room. Sakura's pale green eyes finally reached Kakashi. She stopped short of words however at the look he was giving her. She stumbled and suddenly realized that coming here without a sense of mind other than to chew him out wasn't a good idea. It was foolish and the type of thing that could get a shinobi killed.
"Go home," he said with apparent scorn. She felt her soul leaving her body at that very sentence. Tears came from her eyes, though she didn't notice, she was busy coping with the welling in her heart, as if it were being tugged relentlessly from her body.
She fled, out of humiliation, blind fury, and some uncharted territorial feeling that had come to light. She felt someone who was so close to her had betrayed her. Yet, Kakashi was just her teacher-ex-teacher, wasn't he? Sakura ran her fingers through her steadily becoming un-groomed hair. What was he to her…he teacher, her friend…? She let it go, she didn't want to think how complicated things could be if she…she caught herself. He'd never feel that way about me, he never has, but he is capable of doing that. She thought back to the picture he had seen. He really loved the little girl he was taking care of in that picture. Wait for a second-maybe that was me… Her inner-self argued, being difficult and headstrong as always.
No way, not in a million years could Kakashi been your guardian. Sakura argued back.
It could have easily been be, I don't remember, all I know is that after my parents left me, I was four and they have yet to return. The girl in the picture was my age at that time, so there. I have evidence to support my thought. Inner Sakura huffed and shot back.
So why hasn't anyone told you about it, eh? He's had some fine opportunities himself. Why would they want to keep it from you? You're acting like a loon nowadays.
You have Kakashi to thank for that. I don't understand why I feel so…
In need of him, her inner-self offered helpfully.
Yes, that…wait, that's so wrong, think about it. You're the one who thinks like that, not me! Inner Sakura laughed and mentally put a hand on her featured-self.
Whatever, but you do seem to feel hurt more often than not by what Kakashi does. I'm not saying that you depend on him to keep you straight; Inner Sakura came up with fast, so as to not be interrupted. I'm just saying that you seem to care what he thinks of you and how he perceives you. She had a point and Sakura began to understand slightly how this new feeling operated.
Preview:
Chapter 5: Saving Me
(Kakashi POV)
Movement from the house had shown that she had made it home, but why hadn't she turned on the lights yet? More movement indicating that there were at least two people in the house. Sakura with someone…now that seemed a bit strange considering she had shown no interest in Rock Lee or Gai or any other man, with the exception of Sasuke and now he's iffy on the whole 'who does Sakura like' category. Something he didn't expect to see was a flash of red, and he knew something was wrong.
A/N: Ok, I'll be posting the next chapter as soon as I possibly can. I had to chop Chapter Four in half so I could write a good ending to Part 1 (aka: Chapter Five). Please review people! I just need assurances that you are enjoying this fic. Thank you all again for reading and reviewing. I love you all!
:Apherion:
