A/N: Hello, Hello, once agian. I have a picture for this one (that I DID NOT DRAW), but I don't have a URL for you, so please be patient with that. Remember that I love you all and you all are beautiful people whom I survive off of (your reviews of course, that's exactly what I meant)
We are starting off like the LOTR books (if you've ever read them, which you should) each new part will be written like it is it's own book. Thank you all, love ya, here's disclaimer with the story (surprising I'm letting him do it today).
Disclaimer: Finally; she don't own, she don't own, she don't own, she don't own, she don't!
Uncertain Feelings
Part 2
By: Apherion
Chapter 1: The Wedding
Sakura didn't smile when she found out that Kakashi had yet to postpone the wedding, let alone cancel it. She wanted to spit in Kina's face when she asked her to be her Maid of Honor, despite the urge, she didn't do that. She was glaring harshly at the spring green bride's maid's dress. I want to be the one getting married. Sakura stared wide-eyed; I sounded like a kid not getting her way.
Sakura chewed her lower lip. How am I going to get rid of this feeling so as I don't kill Kina when I hand her the ring binding Kakashi to her? Sakura raked her hands through her hair that Ino had done up so preciously. It was really going to be wasted on her if she kept doing that. This was insane; didn't Kakashi already know how she felt? Couldn't he tell? How dense is that man?
Growling in aggravation, she pulled the dress on over her niceties that kept everything from falling out or being seen. He was confusing her, breaking her down and building her anew. She sneered in the mirror, contemplating her figure. Sure, the damned dress matched her eyes, but it was one of the worst bride's maid's dresses she had ever seen. The ruffles, she shuddered and looked away from her appearance.
A lone tear dripped from her cheek as she pulled in a shuddering breath. I'm never going to have him. I'll never get to kiss that beautiful face that I know must hide behind his mask. More tears followed at this thought. I can't let go, and I can't stand there and watch him…
Her nose burned and she heard the door open. The person walked in without a word to her, as she silently cried at the loss of a love she longed for, the want that her heart yearned for. The person whom she had deduced being female spoke to her as she crossed over to the door having checked her reflection.
"Stupid, silly, naïve girl, you didn't think that he would stop this because you found out about their lies that they covered up, eh?" Kina's voice was so poisonous it had lost all the beauty it had when Sakura heard it. Sakura looked into the oceanic eyes. She sneered crudely and spoke with defiance.
"No, I didn't think he'd stop the wedding, but then again-if I were marrying a hag like you…" Sakura trailed the sentence drinking in the effect it caused. Kina's eyes widened then grew short with anger, and that's when Sakura was slapped. Sakura's head moved with the pale hand that had seemed to have never seen a day's hard work, absorbing some of the blow. The sting however, hurt worse than anything. It went deeper than the now tender skin on her cheek. It slashed through her soul and angry tears spilled down her front.
"Clean yourself up, the wedding's beginning in thirty minutes," Kina scoffed, turning on her heel, clicking out of the room in her white stilettos. Sakura got unevenly to her feet, trying to right herself. It hurt, she wasn't going to lie. It hurt worse than any torture she had encountered. Sakura sniffed and began to put cover-up on the red slowly transforming into a blue-black tint. She was half-hoping Itachi would show up after this.
"It would be nice," she said through gritted teeth, "maybe I'll even enjoy what he does. It would be a break from the ever-present feeling for Kakashi that's for sure." She choked down a sob and continued talking to herself.
"I can't start crying now. I can't stop it; I would just embarrass myself if I objected to the wedding. Kakashi would be questioned…and I don't know what would happen to me if they heard his part of the story." She laughed, but it wasn't even convincing. A knock and the creak of the door announced someone once more.
"Sakura, Kina said that you had hurt yourself, are you okay?" Sakura momentarily glared, but slowly nodded. Kakashi just smiled morosely and ruffled her hair. How could she lie and Kakashi not know about it? He could tell when she lied, couldn't he? He's known me for three years-give or take-doesn't he know what I look like when I'm lying straight to his face?
"I'm sure it'll be fine, now give me that smile." She looked at him sadly, but stretched her lips into a slightly forced smile. "That's my girl," he said hugging her softly and leaving before Sakura could latch her arms onto him. She cried out in loss once more. Her palm muffled it, but she choked, spluttering lightly. How could he not tell?
Roughly thirty minutes later, Sakura had completely taken off the make-up (thanks to her crying in excess after Kakashi's visit). She felt horrible and looked possibly worse for wear, but she didn't care. Yet she kept catching the looks Kakashi was tossing down the aisle at her. All were of concern and unspoken fears. It made Sakura uneasy; she just wanted today to be skipped and they go into tomorrow Kakashi still a bachelor and Kina going back to Wave.
She heard the orchestra from Wave start up, and she began thinking she was taking the Long Walk. She followed the flower girl tossing the rose petals.
Kakashi wouldn't let it happen. Kakashi wouldn't go through with this. More petals hit the white cloth.
He wouldn't leave me behind. He wouldn't marry her. She got into her spot, and stared blankly at the crowd. Many villagers from Wave had come to support the marriage.
Breathe, she told herself; just breathe. Don't listen, don't watch, just breathe. Her attempt to soothe herself failed. Silent tears of pain flooded down her cheeks when she handed the ring to a smug Kina. Sakura was holding her posture as well as she possibly could. It was taking all that she had in her not to run away crying. She had done that enough to know she didn't need to anymore.
She pointedly looked away from everyone one, knowing the vows to be over. Knowing what was coming next. More tears, a little bit louder this time, pushing her embarrassment aside she whispered incoherent to everyone else.
"I thought you said everything would be all right. I thought you promised." She dropped the bouquet in her hands and walked with her head held high down the aisle once again. What hurt the most was she wasn't even stopped. She knew that no one was following her; she couldn't sense anyone behind her. She walked out, alone and crying.
She stumbled to her house in her high heels. They were uncomfortable to walk in, but they were better than nothing at the present time. She slammed into the door to her house, helplessly clinging to it. She bit her lip and flung herself into its confining walls, shutting the door behind herself with difficulty.
She sat crying again, using the wall for support. She let her hair shake itself loose from the way Ino had fixed it. Bits of flowers stuck to it, as if her hair was giving the pieces life. She shook her head, but only made it worse. Her door opened.
"Leave me alone!" She screamed choking on the words. She didn't want to see whoever it could've been. Kakashi wouldn't bother showing up, so she didn't want to see whoever it was in her house.
"I'll leave then," and for once she was wrong. For once, she was elated and horribly stricken that she was wrong.
"No," she said, strangled, tears flowing once more. She groped for his hand and smiled when he obliged in helping her. The smiled broke again as she let the sobs wrack her body severely. His hand let hers go and she felt his arms wrap around her.
"Why do you do this to yourself, Sakura? I'm not always going to be the one who follows you home." She choked, making a gurgling noise slightly. He commenced the back rub he had grown accustomed to giving her when she got like this.
"You mean Itachi when you say that, don't you?" She finally spoke up after getting her voice back. She pushed away from her rescuer, her comforter. "I wish it were him here. At least I wouldn't have to worry about him and watch him betray my trust." She choked, trying to get all of her furious words out. His look changed from concerned to apathetic in one stroke. "He never had any trust in me to begin with. But you, Kakashi…" she tore her gaze from him and started speaking to the floor, a lump forming rapidly inside her throat.
"You had nothing to gain and everything to lose with that woman. You promised me things would be all right. They aren't all right. I lost faith in you, you couldn't even tell when that thing you call a wife lied to your face when she said I hurt myself. You couldn't even tell when I lied point-blank to you." She felt the tears coming on hard now. Kakashi sat there, frozen by the ungodly truth she had whispered to him. He didn't know what to say to her. She had thought that he would stop the wedding. She thought everything would be all right between the two of them.
(Kakashi POV, just a reminder)
I must be killing this girl slowly, he thought tragically. How can she be so naïve to that? He then remembered her other words. She would rather have Itachi here, I can do nothing right today can I? He pulled her into him, but she fought him. He shook her once and she stopped.
"Sakura, I am not trying to hurt you." He didn't know what else to say.
"Then what are you trying to do? It hurts Kakashi; it hurts me. I can't f-feel my heart. I c-can't understand what you're wanting. I just w-want it to go away, and w-when I'm w-with you, the pain re-releases me," she cried helplessly clutching Kakashi. He held her with the same force, if not more.
"I'm sorry," he said, burying his face in her neck, lightly brushing his masked lips over the flesh. She didn't do anything to deny him, but he wasn't going to do anything. Just holding her was enough to help him forget everything he had done, especially marrying the angry person in Sakura's doorway.
(Sakura's POV, just a reminder again)
"So, this is where you went off to," she said poisonously sweet. Sakura went as rigid as Kakashi did. Unexplainable situations like these were never good to be caught in.
"A fifteen year-old, I ask you. I'm at least of age." She glared down at Sakura and she quailed under the look. Unnoticeable by Kina, Kakashi had tightened his grip on Sakura, making her swoon subtly. Her breathing had quickened as well.
"C'mon Kakashi, I think you've been here long enough," Kina called him down like a dog. Eighteen years old, just barely of age, and she was telling Kakashi to follow her command. Sakura stared blinded by tears; he's going to go to her.
"I'll meet you back at the house. I have to explain-"
"Explain what, exactly? She doesn't need an explanation. If anyone needs an explanation, it'd be me, your wife." Sakura whimpered, hearing the words. They hurt so badly. She knew he was going to go to her, go with her. He's going to leave and he's not going to care what happens to me.
"I said 'don't follow' and you disobey. I say 'go to the house' and yet you can't help but pry," his voice was reduced to a scorning mass. "If you are going to be my wife, you will obey me when I give you instruction." He took in a breath.
"You don't know what could happen. I am a ninja, as you know full well. If you are going to be with me, you have to comply with my directions, if you don't, you could be killed, or worse, get both of us killed." Sakura felt her stomach tighten, as did her hold on Kakashi. He never said that unless he cared. He, like Sasuke, only wasted words on the few occasions that they were sent speechless.
Kakashi had told her that many times. 'Follow instructions and don't get yourself killed.' Then again, maybe if I tweak the-no, she mentally shook her head, crying hard. He would find out who did it, and…and…
"Sakura," his voice jogged her back into reality. She looked at him, he had let her go, but somehow, she had winded up exceptionally close to him. She blushed amidst her crying and felt his hand on her face.
"You wore your mask to the wedding…why?" She didn't know why she said something that random to him, but now that she had spoken the words, she really did want to know why he did.
"I didn't feel like kissing her," he played it off coolly. Then he gave her a look that nearly made Sakura unhinge herself from her ex-teacher. "Why didn't you say anything, Sakura?" She let him go and turned away from him, tears spilling once again.
"Sakura, what is so hard about telling me? I want to understand why you're so-"
"You don't get it yet?" She cried, high-pitched and hysterical, twisting around to look at him. She looked at him in disbelief, maybe he really didn't know. Yet why would he just keep pushing her buttons like this?
"Just tell me what's wrong," he sighed heavily, rubbing his head lightly. So he really didn't know. God, this is pathetic! How can he just look at me like that, like he hadn't come onto me two months ago…like he didn't kiss me two days ago?
"I'll tell you what's wrong with me. You're doing this…you are the one causing this…this change." She worked the words out, trying to make them sound right, but they were all wrong to her. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her into him once more. Her heart sang from the touch and wept knowing he would do this for Kina as well.
"I know," he said it as if he were defeated. She choked and coughed.
"You did?" She asked incredulous.
"I did," his voice whispered into her ear, sending chills down her spine. Then something caught up with her and she slapped him.
"How could you?" She whispered opposing the much-felt anger was brewing beneath the surface. He looked at her, hurt and pleading.
"I didn't want to believe it," he said in that same dejectedly broken tone. "She was just a distraction from you for me, and it snowballed from there." He didn't meet her eyes and she felt like she had just been the one to hurt him, instead of it being vice versa. He gathered her into his arms again, soothing her, whispering her name repeatedly until she fell asleep in his arms.
He had thought about taking over the situation, but he knew he could never do that to her again. On contrary to what she must've thought, he couldn't help himself around her. She confused him, she hated him…she loved him. She didn't care, she didn't understand it herself; it made him glad in a way, knowing she was naïve. The sweet little innocence that she still had after killing, torturing, and watching blood being shed by her friends and enemies.
She never lost that, even after being a ninja. He was happy she didn't pursue jounin ranking. Not that he thought she couldn't pull through, but the fact he knew she would continue taking the test until she passed, and that would change her. Maybe she knew that herself and thought she would rather stay the way she is. He knew change threw her off; it was fun to watch her learning like that.
"Sakura," he let her name roll off his lips. She probably still didn't know, but she was changing him, bending him to her will. The thought chilled him, but also…the possibilities. He stopped walking in the dark night. He froze, seeing Kina looking livid just outside the house.
"Where have you been, 'Kashi?" Kakashi stared at the child-like woman. She strode over to him, glaring. Since when did she start calling me 'Kashi'? She poked him in the chest.
"Should I repeat myself?" She asked, fury lining her voice. He shrugged his shoulders back and slid an arm around her waist, pulling her into him. He felt a pang in his heart rise up. Sakura belonged there, not alone in her bedroom…without him. Sakura belonged in Kina's place. He sighed and walked into the house with Kina wrapped up in him.
A/N: (can feel the flames coming on, and cowers underneath her bed) I know! I know! I'm sorry, please forgive me! I didn't mean for it to happen, I swear! (dodges some pitch forks) Look on the bright side! There was fluff! I had fluff! Please don't hate me...(can see the flames pouring in by my lovely readers/reviewers).
Please Read, Review, I take flames (of course I take flames, why else would I be talking about them)
