A/N: I've learned a very valuable lesson as a novice - be careful with re-writes. They can change the entire plot and story sequence, which is what has happened. I hope I've corrected any timeline or plot errors, but I have a nagging feeling that I might not have caught all of them. If you see anything screwy, let me know. Thanks again for all the support and reviews.
To Beej96 - I used a quote/concept from one of your reviews. It was too good to pass up, so many thanks!Disclaimer: I do not own the Dukes, and no infringements intended.
POT SHOTS
CHAPTER 11
FAILURE AND SUCCESS
Since the night that Sandy stayed with the family after Billy Ray's visit, she found herself spending evenings with the Dukes regularly. The promise of a lonely night in an empty hotel room paled in comparison to being with a family she truly loved. She already had two degrees from Duke University, now she was working on her ph.D. She knew it wasn't the best judgement she'd ever shown, only complicating matters and her feelings further. As a professional, she should have been listening to her head, but as a human with feelings, it was her heart that had her ear. Throwing caution to the wind, she told herself that she'd worry about the rest when the time came.
It didn't make any difference what they were doing, and they didn't go out of their way to do anything special. A good movie and popcorn, a night of television, playing a game, or watching Luke help Bo play his guitar, it didn't matter. Sandy was as comfortable there as she would have been in her own family room back in Texas, and they seemed at ease with her presence, too. Most nights, it was just Sandy and the men, as Daisy was usually working. When she was home, Daisy almost enjoyed having her around the most, saying that now it was even, girls against guys, something she'd never had before.
Bo and Uncle Jesse liked checkers, Luke liked chess, and Daisy liked cards. Sometimes they played one against one, other times in teams, always guys against girls. They quickly discovered that Sandy was a competitor. Anything she played, she played to win, and she could, too. No one in the household had ever really been able to beat the eldest Duke boy when it came to a chess match, so when Sandy did it the first time, she found that she was the crowd favorite. When she repeated the feat, Bo and Daisy crowned her as the new champ.
"How's it feel...to be the underdog...for once?" Bo asked.
Uncle Jesse looked up from his paper, and Daisy giggled.
Luke stuck his tongue out at Bo. "It's nice to finally have some competition," Luke informed them, though his younger cousins doubted that he really enjoyed getting beat. Luke welcomed a challenge so long as he still came out the victor.
Bo also liked to use the porch swing in the evenings. He said he liked to look at the stars, and that before he'd been hurt, he went to the hay loft all the time. The first time Bo asked Sandy to join him, he reached for her hand. When she didn't pull away, he decided that it was okay. From then on, Bo couldn't enjoy himself without holding the tiny hand in his.
"You keep working Bo, and you'll make it up to that hayloft again," she promised.
"You come...with me?"
Sandy promised him that he'd get back up there, she didn't promise him when. She doubted that it would be before she left. "If I'm here, you betcha," she said, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice.
Bo was having about as much success keeping it off of his face.
There'd been something that he wanted to ask Sandy for a while. Something that upset her, and that bothered him. He'd been debating as to whether he should or not, finally deciding that he should while he had the chance, knowing how fate could cheat a person out of time and opportunities. As they looked to the heavens, hands intertwined, Bo summoned his nerve. "Who's Holly?" As soon as he verbalized the words, he regretted it. Whoever she was, it was clear that the memory was more painful than he'd realized.
Turning abruptly to look at him, she answered his question with one of her own. "How'd you know about Holly?"
"You said her name...the day you took...a nap...after Billy Ray. I was checking...on you," he admitted.
"You were?" she asked, softening her tone at his touching confession.
Bo nodded. "I'm sorry...you don't have...to tell me."
"Holly was my first patient," Sandy replied, looking away from Bo, staring straight ahead into the darkness.
"The one who...didn't get better?"
"Yeah," she whispered.
"What happened?"
Sandy really didn't want to talk about Holly, but if Bo asked her to stand barefoot on hot coals, she couldn't say no. Lowering her eyes, but keeping them focussed in front of her, she took a deep breath, having to prepare herself for what she was about to relay. It was a story that she had never shared with anyone.
"When I started working with Holly, she was in the hospital, like I told you. I was assigned to do routine physical therapy because she'd been diagnosed with permanent spinal cord injuries, ones that couldn't be fixed or reversed. My role was just to exercise her legs to maintain muscle tone. I liked her right away. She was funny, and she had a lot of spunk, and she used to make fun of my accent," Sandy grinned, recalling a part of the scenario that was pleasant. "Somehow, she managed to remain positive despite everything that she was facing. She wanted to be a painter so she was grateful that her legs were paralyzed and not her arms. She was pretty amazing."
Bo listened intently, smiling himself when he saw hers. As fast as he'd seen it appear, it disappeared, replaced with an expression of incredible sadness. "Sandy," Bo called, trying to interrupt her, sorry that he'd brought it up.
Now that Sandy was telling the story, she wasn't going to stop until she was finished. She heard Bo, but had to ignore him if she wanted to get make it to the end.
"While I was massaging her legs, I noticed certain twitches and movements that indicated some amount of function. I told her mother, and suggested that they get a second opinion. Her father wasn't too pleased, but the doctor they took her to agreed that while he didn't think she'd recover one hundred percent, he believed that with work, she might be able to walk with braces. Her mother wanted to try, her father didn't, said it would only disappoint her down the road. He wanted her to accept what her future was going to be like and leave it at that. They were well off, so the first thing he did was to buy her a motorized wheelchair, something I never advise someone to start out with unless they have very limited use of the hands and have no hope of getting any stronger." Glancing at Bo, she continued, "as you know, the only way to get stronger is through work, and you don't get a workout by pushing a button. It's just not a good thing to do, and I told him so, which he didn't appreciate."
Sandy became silent, looking back to the darkness as the events replayed in her mind.
"What happened?" Bo coaxed, angry that he'd started this, but wanting to know what it took to turn a Texas Twister into a dust devil.
"Well, I worked with her and I thought we were making progress, but the parents were just fighting so much that eventually the mother gave in. They took her back to the first doctor, who again said she'd never walk. They decided to accept that fate so I was let go. Giving up crushed Holly."
Sandy started to breathe heavily, and Bo's curiousity quickly faded to concern. "It's ok...You don't have to...say anymore...I'm sorry."
Ignoring him again, Sandy started talking once she had her breathing under control. "Having that nifty little motorized scooter, and full use of her arms and hands, she opened their patio door and drove right out of the house, and right on up a little hill, and right on down the side of that little hill..." Choking on her own words, she had to pause. "And right on into a fishing pond her father had installed for himself. They found her the next morning, drowned."
Bo could only imagine how devastating the experience must have been, but he didn't realize that the story wasn't finished. There was more, and it was even more horrifying.
"She was six years old!" Sandy cried, covering her face with her hands.
Bo reached over to comfort her, not sure how much she would be willing to accept. In the middle of her story, Sandy had leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. Still in that same position, only now hiding her face, Bo started rubbing circles on her back.
Remaining still, she removed her hands, swiping at the wet evidence running down her face before folding them under her chin. She continued to stare into the void, refusing to look at Bo. She was certain that if she did, blame would be reflected in the midnight blue eyes that she could get lost in without trying.
"When they did the autopsy, they found that her injuries weren't completely permanent. Some of the spinal chord was still in tact."
"Then you were...right...Not your fault," Bo said, grabbing at any straws he could grasp.
"If I would have never said anything, she was prepared to make the best of her future. She'd be alive today, in a wheelchair, but alive. I'm the one that gave her that hope, so yeah, it is my fault, and her father all but told me so, too," she whispered, giving her confession to Bo as if he were a priest.
"Why that bastard...," Bo blurted out, hoping that his uncle wasn't in ear shot. "He had no right..."
"He was her father."
"Not a good...one," Bo observed.
"Doesn't matter," she sighed, her shoulders slumping down even further.
"Matters a lot," Bo argued. "Sandy...you are good...at what you do...and you care. I didn't believe...I'd ever get this...far. Now I believe...I'll get even better. All because of...you. Holly not...your fault."
Sandy finally turned to look at Bo with her big, green emerald eyes, afraid of what she would find. The accusations she expected to see weren't there, only a compassion that corroborated the Duke's characterization that Bo had a big heart.
For the first time, Bo saw self-doubt and guilt in his little tornado. A person that had seemed so competent and confident suffered from insecurities just like him. She'd been there supporting, teaching, pushing, and encouraging him for a long time. She had given him back more than just the ability to move or talk, she'd given him back his life. He owed her so much, and he wanted to repay some of the debt, but most of all, he just wanted to make her feel better. Opening his arms, he called out to her, "come here." When she did, he held her. It felt good to be on the giving end for a change, and nothing had ever felt more right. He rubbed more circles on her back, stroking and kissing her hair, and murmering assurances that she wasn't to blame. They stayed like that for a long time while Sandy let out all the tears she'd held inside for so long.
"Don't forget...you're the Texas...twister!" he reminded her when she began to calm down.
Having cried all over Bo, she responded. "Right now, I feel more like a water spout," and that earned a good, hearty laugh from both of them. "Thanks Bo," she said, reaching up and kissing him on the cheek. This time she didn't scold herself. Her mind justified the action by rationalizing that she was in perfect control of her actions and knew exactly what she was doing when she kissed Bo's cheek. For a few minutes, they'd had a role reversal, and he had become the therapist, specializing in the field of Sandy Maverick.
"Anytime," he told her, not wanting to let her up as she announced it was late and she had to go. "You could stay," he offered.
"No Bo, I can't." Spending the evenings with the family was one thing, spending the nights really would have been going too far.
After Sandy left, Luke followed his cousin into the room they shared. Bo could do most of the things needed to dress and undress himself, but he hadn't quite yet mastered the buttons. He was getting close, and if given enough time, he'd work them loose or accidentally yank them off. Either way, it achieved the purpose, except the latter was much more work for Daisy. After watching his best friend wrestling with the tiny discs, he decided that it was in everyone's best interest if he helped him.
"Need some help?" Luke asked, waiting for Bo's reply. He had to ask because there were times that no matter how tired or frustrated Bo was, he was too stubborn to ask for or accept help. Luke's assistance wasn't always welcomed anymore. Thankfully, this wasn't going to be one of those nights, as the blonde looked up and nodded.
Giving his cousin a small smile, he bent over him and began to slip the fasteners through the appropriate holes. He had come so far, and Luke wondered how it was going to feel when Bo really didn't need him anymore.
Stealing a glance at his cousin, he could see that he was deep in thought. He'd heard a little bit of what had been said on the swing that night, and he'd been watching Bo very closely over the last few weeks. He was fairly certain that his baby cousin was falling in love with his therapist.
Luke had rid him of his clothes and helped him into his sleeping attire, turning his back to do the same for himself. When he did an about-face, he found Bo looking at himself in the mirror, paying close attention to his right side, the same side he always stared at. Bo's hair was long enough that it now covered most of the scar, however, it really did look funny because it was extremely long on the opposite side. Luke Duke decided that it might be time to do something about it, especially since it bothered his cousin so.
"Franken...stein," Bo said, referring to himself when he noticed that Luke was watching him.
"Bo, you don't look like Frankenstein," Luke told him. "More like the creature from the Black Lagoon."
"Ha ha, cute."
Luke laughed, and patted him on the back. It felt so good to be able to talk, laugh, and joke with Bo again, things that seemed virtually impossible just a few months ago. Bo might have been falling in love with the Texas twister, but Luke loved her just as much, for entirely different reasons. He thought of her as God raising Lazarus from the dead.
Messing up the blonde curls even more than they already were, Luke helped him into bed. Bo was tired, and whenever that happened, he became unsteady on his feet. The last thing they needed was for him to fall and hurt himself.
Bo didn't need for Luke to hold him every night like he had in the beginning, but he still had bad nights where he'd just get down, have a bad dream, or need help getting up. Luke wanted to be there, and hated to admit that he liked the closeness as much as Bo seemed to. Using that as an excuse, they'd left their beds together, able to be close without always touching; there just in case. Luke had a feeling that this was going to be one of those nights.
After an hour, Luke gave up. Bo was awake, and he was keeping him awake, too. "Want to talk about it, cuz?" he asked, directing the question to Bo's backside.
"Talk about what?" Bo asked back.
"Whatever it is that's keeping you awake?"
"Don't know...just can't sleep," Bo lied.
"Oh, I don't believe that," Luke told him. "I think you know very well what's bothering you, and I think it has something to do with a green-eyed girl from Texas."
"So what...if it does?"
"You love her, don't you Bo?" Luke asked, getting right down to the nitty gritty.
"Yeah," Bo whispered.
"Have you told her?"
"Yeah right,...why?"
"To see how she feels," Luke replied, thinking that he was stating the obvious.
"I'm her patient. She...cares about me...like that."
"Bo, I think she cares about you a whole lot more than as a patient. I think she loves you, too, buddy."
Bo snorted in response. "Stupid...and...ugly. Who could love...that?" Luke could hear from the crack in his voice that Bo was trying to hold back the tears.
Sliding close, Luke put his arm around him. "You're not stupid or ugly, and I love you."
"Cause we're cousins,...Luke."
"Even if we weren't cousins, I'd still love you. Bo, you're my best friend. You always have been and you always will be. I've loved you since you were a baby, but I'll tell you something, I've never loved you more or been more proud than these last few months. Buddy, you have fought the good fight, and you've won. Your spirit and determination leave me in awe. You always thought I was the strong one, but you're my hero, Bo."
"Ah Luke."
"Don't ah Luke me. It's true. Every word of it."
"I love you, Lukas...I know that you were the...one that kept me going...If it hadn't been for you...I wouldn't be here..." Bo turned onto his back, Luke's arm still draped across him. "Thank you," he told him, wrapping his arms around his cousin's neck.
"No Bo, thank you for coming back. Now go to sleep. Tomorrow, I've got a surprise for you, guaranteed to dazzle one green eyed cyclone."
"What?" Bo asked, loving surprises, but never being able to let them be a surprise.
The next day, Bo drove Luke crazy, wanting to know when he'd get it and what his surprise was. Seeing that her patient was anxious, and unable to keep his attention, Sandy cut their session short. There was more than one type of therapy, and anything that excited a client that much couldn't be bad. Besides, she trusted Luke, knowing that he would never let any harm come to his cousin.
Trading the General for Dixie, Luke helped Bo get in.
"Where we going?" Bo asked, surprised that his surprise was a trip.
"You'll see when we get there," Luke rebuffed him. "Be quiet and enjoy the drive," he ordered, turning up the radio.
Before the shooting, seeing the Duke boys driving together was as natural as the setting sun. Seeing them apart was what was unnatural, but this was their first time out together, alone, since then. Besides his outings to the doctors, Bo hadn't been off the farm since he'd gotten out of the hospital. It felt good to both of them, but there was no way that Bo couldn't notice that his cousin had turned into a Sunday driver. He knew that he was only being cautious for his own good, but Bo wondered if he'd ever again treat him like he wasn't made of glass. In Bo's mind, he wouldn't be truly recovered until that day came. He thought about saying something, but held his tongue. Whatever was going on, Luke was doing something for him that he didn't have to. Uncle Jesse had raised them not to be ingrates. There'd be time to discuss the 'little old lady' driving later. Besides, if he made Luke mad, he might not get his surprise, and that would kill him faster than a slow drive.
Eventually, Bo figured out that they were going to Capitol City, but he couldn't fathom why. When Luke slid Dixie into a spot and shut her off, Bo gave him a strange look.
"Beauty salon?" he asked.
"They're stylists, Bo. A barber would just give you a haircut, they'll be able to give you a whole new 'do,'" Luke said, flipping his own curls. "Ya know, something that will cover the scar, even out your hair on both sides, and look like you decided to wear your hair that way. No one will be the wiser, and I thought you'd be more comfortable in Capitol City, where you wouldn't know anyone."
"Thanks Luke," Bo said, suddenly thinking that it sounded like a good idea.
When Bo walked out a half hour later, he had normal looking hair. It was cut in the style he always wore, just maybe a tad bit shorter, but it was all one length. As Luke buckled him in, Bo laid his hand on his cousin's back.
"Thanks Luke...I feel human...again."
"Well, I don't think that we ever really determined that you were human to begin with," Luke snickered. When Bo didn't reply, he got worried. "You ok?"
"I really appreci...ate this," Bo said very seriously.
Luke grabbed his cousin as best he could in spite of the seat belt. "You're very welcome."
"I love you, Luke."
"I love you, too, Bo."
The next morning when Sandy showed up, she noticed Bo's hair immediately.
"Oh my!" she said, looking closely at him, and running her hand through the hair on his left side, not even bothering with the useless mental scolding. "It looks great!" she told him. "Ladies of Hazzard, you better watch out!" she proclaimed, filling the cup she'd pulled down with coffee.
"What about ladies...from Texas?" Bo asked, not caring about the local ones anymore.
"Well, if you're planning on visiting Texas, I'll tell them to watch out, too," she said, winking at him.
"Only need to...warn one," Bo informed her.
"Oh yeah, and who might that be? Anyone I know?"
"You," he stated in a completely serious tone of voice.
Sandy thought they'd only been playing, but she should have seen that coming. She hadn't, and his complete honesty melted her heart, leaving her unguarded and vulnerable. Sometimes he said the nicest things, and she knew that they came straight from his heart. This was no exception, and it wasn't so much what was said as how it was said that completely paralyzed her. It was an almost childlike quality, and if she had really thought about it, she would have realized it was one of the things she loved most about him. In an unrehearsed and unplanned moment of her own honesty, she replied, "Oh shoot darlin, you already had me."
"Really?" he asked, his eyes lighting up.
"Really," she told him, messing up his hair as she sat down next to him.
"Good!...Just remember...that."
"Oh, I'd be hard pressed to forget it."
