-- Disclaimer: No I don't own anything… Thanks for offering though:D
Tell Me How Much You Love Me
"Please… Please leave me alone…! Leave me alone dammit! I ain't done nothin' ta you!" "You was born, Twist. Thas' enough fer us…" Screams echoed from a ditch on an abandoned road as the men beat upon Jack with boards and tire irons. "I ain't done nothin'! No! Please! ENNIS!"
Ennis awoke with a start, his body shaking and sweating as he sat up in bed, glancing over at Jack and running a hand over him to make sure he was still there.
"Ennis? Wha' you doin' awake? I's three in the mornin'…" Jack stopped as his eyes focused and he saw the state his lover was in.
"Ennis? Wha's wrong?" He asked worriedly and was answered by Ennis grabbing him, holding Jacks smaller frame against him tightly and crying into the nape of his neck.
"I… I though' you was…"
"Wha? I cain't hear ya cowboy…"
Ennis moved his head slightly so his mouth was clearer and wiped his eyes quickly.
"I… I saw ya gettin' beat… I heard ya screamin'… I… I watched ya diein'…"
He trailed off as he broke into another round of sobs and clung tighter to his mate.
"Shhh… I's a'right cowboy… I'm still here…"
Jack whispered as he held Ennis and caressed his back gently. The other calmed down slowly after several minutes and sat up slowly, quickly wiping his eyes dry.
"Sorry bout tha'…"
He muttered as he regained control of himself and Jack smiled slightly, reaching up to trail his hand gently along Ennis' face.
"Don' worry bout it none cowboy. Jus' shows me more tha' ya love me."
"Ya need me ta cry like a woman ta show I love ya?"
Ennis asked, casting a glance so odd that Jack had to laugh.
"No, no… Jus' meant tha'… Well… I like you showin' ya care sometimes…"
He trailed off slowly and turned his face away to look out the window and Ennis sat up more, his head tilted slightly.
"I thought ya knew I cared bout ya…?"
"Well yeah but… I dunno. Nevermind it."
"No, we're gonna mind it now. Wha' makes ya think I don' care bout ya?"
"I know ya care Ennis jus'… Ya only show it when we're 'lone. Be nice fer others ta know ya care… Our friends a'least…"
"Jack I…" He trailed off and stood up off the bed, causing Jack to turn and look at him.
"I'll… I'll try bu'… Well ya know how I am bout people sayin' I'm queer an' all tha'… But… If it makes ya happy love… Well… We'll see. Maybe I c'n work on't."
Jack smiled, the worry that he'd upset Ennis fading as he stood and gave him a hug.
"Couldn't ask fer more cowboy."
Ennis returned the hug as well as the soft smile then pushed him back on the bed gently.
"You rest now. I'ma go git the chores done an' I'll be back ta git ya breakfast soon."
"Bu' i's three in the mornin'!"
"I know bu' tha' nightmares left me jittery an' I cain't stand ta be still. Gimme an hour an' I'll be back, a'right?"
Jack nodded and laid back down, knowing when Ennis admitted to being jittery, he really meant it.
"Ya better hurry an' git back here then. I ain't wantin' ta sleep here by myself."
Ennis smiled slightly and kissed him gently.
"I promise I'll be back soon love."
"A'right."
Jack rolled over slowly and curled onto Ennis' pillow, causing Ennis again to smile softly before changing into a ragged pair of jeans and a t-shirt, grabbing his hat and with a last glance at the now sleeping man who meant more to him then anything, quietly closed the door behind him and went out to help the farm hands with some chores.
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An hour later, as promised, Ennis dragged himself back inside and, not bothering to change, stripped off his muddy clothes and slipped naked into bed next to Jack, immediately wrapping his arms around the warm figure gently.
"Mmm…? Oh hey… Yer back…?"
Jack mumbled, still half asleep and Ennis kissed him softly.
"Yeah I'm here rodeo… Now you c'n sleep 'thought bein' alone."
" 'S the only way I'd wanna sleep cowboy…"
Silence reigned for a moment as Ennis leaned against the back of his mates head, breathing in his scent before…
"I love you rodeo…"
He whispered and Jack glanced at him with a sleepy smile.
"Love you too cowboy…"
He muttered before cuddling back against Ennis and falling back asleep, safe and content in his lovers arms. Ennis, however, stayed up and held Jack tightly against him, images of the nightmare still fresh in his mind. The worst part, he realized, was that the dream hurt so much because it was real. It wasn't some image of a monster hiding under his bed that he could just reprimand himself for believing and push out of his mind… It had actually happened. He could still picture Jack laying next to the road, bloody and barely alive, and the thought of it ever happening again killed him inside.
Unbeknownst to Jack, he'd almost become paranoid about it anytime they had to go down to town and if it weren't for his feat of people knowing how they were, he'd probably all but cling to him anytime they were out. Instead he just walked next to him, the two talking like they were just good friends who happened to meet up for awhile in town and needed to go shopping or whatever. When it was time to go back, they would go at different times… Usually a span of 5-10 minutes… Just so no one got suspicious. Then they'd drive back up to Brokeback and things would be go to normal. If it weren't for not wanting to be thought queer, Ennis thought, he'd wish that people would just grow up and accept it… Even if just for one day. He also knew Jack wished they were able to express it more openly, especially around their friends who had already told them they accepted it. Maybe he could try that… Maybe just hold his hand when they went to their friends house tomorrow…
"Would ya like that love…?"
Ennis muttered softly against Jack's hair, not expecting a response. And so as daylight first began to break outside and the rest of the ranch started springing to life, Ennis closed his eyes and tried to imagine sweet images of him and Jack together, holding hands and kissing in town without so much as one dirty look from anyone. This in mind, he fell back asleep with a small smile that was still there when Jack woke up a few hours later.
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-- Please review and tell me what you think! I'm kinda running out of ideas and this seems to be going nowhere but if you guys like it enough, I'll try to continue it. Otherwise I'm gonna stop it pretty soon. Thanks again for reading! --
