-- Disclaimer: I actually own something this time! Tom and Penny belong to me so there! The rest doesn't though... :'( --
-- Well, here's chapter 8 of this very... strange story. Sorry this took so long, again, to put up but... yeah... You're all used to that by now right? Anyway, here it is for my still faithful readers so enjoy! --
Tell Me How Much You Love Me
As the sun started to set lower in the sky, the two ranchers were on their way down to their friends house which was located at the base of the mountain. Not quiet up in the wilderness but still a few miles from town, the property was quiet and secluded from any prying eyes. They pulled up right on time, according to Jack's perfectly set watch, and stepped out to take a quick stretch, though the ride hadn't been long at all. Jack wandered over to Enis as the other stood staring at the house and took his hand gently, causing his mate to jump.
"Yes rodeo...?" He asked and Jack squeezed his hand gently.
"Ya ready ta go inside cowboy? They should be 'spectin' us now."
"Yeah... a'right..." Ennis replied and started towards the house, making sure their hands seperated quickly as their friends opened the door to greet them.
"Jack! Ennis! Ya made it!"
"Course we did Penny... Wouldn' turn your dinner down if ya paid us." Jack said with a smile as Penny hugged them both and her husband Tom shook their hands.
"How ya both been?" He asked and Jack shrugged alittle, trying to hide the small pang of hurt he felt from Ennis again refusing to hold his hand.
"Same's always I suppose. Not like i's a bad thing bu' ya know. Wha' bout you? You an' yer missus holdin' up good?"
Tom nodded as he shook Ennis' hand and started leading them inside.
"We're doin' great. Penny's gotta nice dinner set up an' we was thinkin' maybe we could play some games afterwards if ya ain't got a reason ta be home early."
Jack glanced at Ennis, who shrugged, then turned back to Tom with a smile.
"Tha'd be great."
"You men be'er get in here 'fore the food gets cold!"
Penny called from the kitchen and the three men headed to the dining room to take their places as Penny served them the delicious smelling food. Dinner was considerably quiet seeing as Jack and Tom were the only ones talking and Jack slid his hand over to grasp Ennis under the table, a small sign that he hadn't forgotten he was there. Ennis glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes and continued eating normally though Jack started to notice that his hand was getting sweaty and his foot was tapping impatiently under the table.
"Y'a'right cowboy?" He asked and Ennis glanced at him again before fixing his gaze back on a spot on the wall.
"Didn't say anythin' was wrong..."
"Well ya ain't said much all night an' ya seem jittery all'a sudden..."
"I'm fine Jack..."
"Ya sure?"
"Yeah I'm jus'... I'm gonna go for a walk... S'cuse me..."
He muttered, tripping over his words alittle as he pried away from Jack's hand and headed outside, taking his hat with him.
"S'he a'right Jack?" Penny asked as the front door closed and she started clearing the empty dishes.
Jack sighed softly and ran a hand through his hair slowly.
"I... I don' know honestly... Maybe i'd be best if we went back home... Sorry ta cut the night so short..." He said somewhat sadly as he stood up and Tom got up to see him out.
"Nah, don' worry bout it. 'S not either o'yours faults."
The two shook hands and Jack gave Penny a hug, apologizing again and thanking her before heading out the door to look for Ennis. He searched for him for a few minutes before finding him sitting in the truck and slid in next to him, not even receiving an acknowledgement from the other.
"Come on cowboy... Le's go home..." He muttered with a quiet sigh after a few moments of silence and started up the truck as Ennis tapped his hand on the seat slightly.
"I'm sorry bout wha' happened in there..." He started but Jack interrupted with a small wave of his hand.
"Don' worry bout it, a'right? I know why ya did i' already..." He started driving towards the mountain and Ennis glanced at him.
"Ya do...?"
"Yeah... Ya got all jittery soon as I started holdin' your hand. I don' know wha' your problem is Ennis... I know ya had lotsa bad things happen in the past involvin' this stuff but why cain't ya jus' let tha' go already? This is bout us dammit, not some guys yer daddy didn't like!"
Jack's voice had slowly risen to a yell during this and Ennis flinched slightly at the small outburst before turning his face to look out the window.
"I'm sorry..."
"Yer sorry!" Jack exploded and Ennis flinched again. "Tha' ain't gonna make i'better Ennis! I feel like I'm the only one lovin' in this relationship!"
This caused Ennis to growl softly and he turned back to face him.
"How c'a ya say tha' after all I done for ya! I been doin' all I can for you Jack! I left my family for you! I left everything for you!..."
He trailed off as tears started building in his eyes and turned to look back out the window. Jack sighed, partly in anger and partly in sadness as they drove up to the ranch and parked in the driveway, the silence taking over for a moment after the truck was turned off.
"Look Ennis... I know ya done a lot fer me an' I know ya say ya love me an' I 'preciate it, i's jus'... Ya never show it less i's behind locked doors... Makes me feel like ya don' really wan' me round no more..."
Ennis remained quiet for a moment and when he did speak, Jack noticed the hurt in his low tone.
"You, of all people, should know how much I wan' ya here Jack. I've gone an' given up everything I worked for in this world ta come live with ya, even through all the debates I had in my head. I followed my heart fer the first time in a damn long time Jack an' I've cared for ya an' loved ya in the best way I can an' if you don' see tha' then... Then I don' know wha' ta say ta you anymore..."
He trailed off and stared up at the ranch for a moment then continued when Jack didn't say anything in response.
"Either way... I'm goin' inside an' you should too. Gotta be up early ta finish tha' fence."
Jack nodded, stung to silence by Ennis' small speech then slid off his seat, closing his door quietly before going inside. Ennis followed after a minute or so and, seeing that Jack had already gone up to their room, plopped onto the couch with his head in his hands. After a few minutes he heard Jack's footsteps on the stairs but didn't look at him... He didn't want to see the anger, hurt and sadness he knew was in his eyes. Even after Jack sat down with him, his face stayed down in his hands though Jack could tell the other knew he was there.
"Ennis?" He asked quietly and the other finally lifted his face, still not looking at him.
"Yeah Jack...?"
"I... I'm sorry..."
"Wha' you got ta be sorry bout? Y'ain't done nothin' wrong..."
"For yellin' at ya... An' for pushin' ya so hard ta do stuff like tha' round other people... I know ya don' like to..."
Ennis sighed softly and stared at the pattern of the carpet beneath his feet.
"Look Jack... This prob'ly ain't gonna come out right so jus' bear with me for alittle, a'right?"
Jack nodded and Ennis took a deep breath before continueing.
"I love ya rodeo... bu' sometimes I still ain't comfortable with the though' o'people thinkin' I'm queer, cause I ain' an' you know tha'. Yer the only guy I ever laid eyes on a'all an' I still cain't figure ou' why tha' happened in the firs' place. I'm guessin' fer some reason tha' I'll never know, I jus' happened ta fall for ya, jus' like you did for me bu'... Hell I don' even know where this is goin'..."
He stood up and paced around the living room quickly, his hands wringing in front of him.
"S'a'right... I know wha' you're meanin'..." Jack said softly and Ennis looked over at him.
"Then tell me cause I gots no idea..."
Jack hesitated a minute before continueing, his eyes fixed on the floor to hide his growing tears.
"I don' think ya really wanna be w'me anymore. Ya may love me somehow in that twisted mind o'yours and ya may enjoy it behind closed doors bu'... I don' think ya really wan'it in yer heart..."
"Jack i's not tha', I jus'..."
"No..." Jack interrupted and looked at him, tears runnning slowly down his face. "I'm gonna go ta bed... Maybe you should jus' go out an' find yerself another woman... Maybe tha'll make ya happy..."
Without even giving Ennis a chance to respond he stood up off the couch and headed for their room, leaving the other staring after him in the growing darkness.
"Jack..."
-- As always, please review to tell me what you think! --
