"Do not be restricted by your knowledge and experience. This place turns logic upside-down. What's big is small, what's strong is weak, and heaven is earth."

-Final Fantasy IX

Chapter 8

Minor Arcanum

"Well... it has been quite some time, hasn't it?" the voice murmured, from within the darkness of the gargantuan cavern, appearing as little more than a shadowy silhouette, same as the eight others within the cave.

Nothing about them was visible save their figures and the cloaks they wore.

Red clouds on black cloaks.

Strangely though, their forms seemed to flicker in and out of existence, as though not quite real...

"Not since Orochimaru left us seven years ago." Another figure, hunched over strangely, cackled in agreement. "All of us meeting together like this... it's quite interesting."

"Enough, Sasori." The first speaker said curtly, indicating his superior rank as leader of this organization. "Though I was not planning on us convening for another two months, we have a problem." He turned his head toward one of the figures- one whose eyes spun with three dots.

"Itachi," he said quietly, staring at the Sharingan eyed figure standing impassively, "Your brother... he appears to have disappeared with the Kyubi jinchuriki."

The seeming leader of the group paused again, and turned toward another figure. "Zetsu... what did you see while you watched their battle?"

The strange figure's head seemed almost enveloped by what looked like a Venus flytrap, and when he spoke, his voice possessed an odd, untraceable quality. The figure seemed vaguely amused. "Your brother, Itachi, appears to have quite a volatile relationship with this jinchuriki."

Zetsu chuckled darkly. "They nearly destroyed the Valley of the End in a wave of chakra that I think even you, Kisame, might have trouble matching."

The tall, sword wielding figure of Hoshigaki Kisame made a brief "Humph," but otherwise no other sound.

Without a beat, Zetsu's voice changed, becoming more mechanical and controlled. "There was a large wave of light created from the chakra, and then they were gone." He finished, and said no more.

"This poses a problem." The first speaker said, a trace of irritation in his voice. "We must have the Kyubi. It is crucial. Absolutely crucial to our goals." His voice was harsh and annoyed, ringing throughout the cave.

"However..." the leader paused, as if considering something, "At the least, this development has hindered Orochimaru's designs on obtaining the Sharingan."

Itachi seemed to stir, but was otherwise silent.

"We don't have to be impatient, yeah," another, long haired figure cut in, seemingly highly amused by the whole conversation. "After all, someday Orochimaru will die, yeah... what's important now is that we only have three years. If we do this together, our success is guaranteed, yeah?"

"I'd prefer to kill Orochimaru myself, by my own hand." Sasori growled, shifting his hunched figure slowly.

"Have you discovered more about that jutsu?" the leader asked.

Sasori made a slow shake of his head, an odd, mechanical clank coming from his body as he did so. "My spy is working on it. He should bring me the results in a few years, after analysis of the body." He sounded oddly eager.

"In the meantime, then," the leader turned his head toward two of the figures in particular. "Itachi and Kisame, you will discover where the Kyubi's jinchuriki has disappeared to. We don't have to find him right away... but the knowledge of his location will be valuable to the future."

Itachi nodded. Kisame hefted his massive sword and grinned.

The leader nodded back curtly, and, although his mouth was not visible, it was quite possible he was smiling.

"Soon enough, the Kyubi, and everything else, shall be ours."

The nine members of Akatsuki slowly faded away into the darkness.

---

Orochimaru glanced at one of his oddest artifacts he kept. The shriveled, preserved hand of his original body, kept upright on his table in his private room. While the rest of his original body had been destroyed by himself personally, this part he kept.

This was because, borne on one of the fingers was a unique ring inscribed with the first kanji of Kuchin, the Void; a ring that only members of the organization, Akatsuki, wore.

Funny, that he should think of them now, while his own plans seemed to have hit an impediment. They were an enemy he could not take lightly, but his knowledge of their true objectives bought him considerable defense against them.

What's more, he was still adjusting to his new body- it would take a while yet for his abilities to return.

Kabuto entered the room once again. "I will depart now, Orochimaru-sama." He murmured, bowing low, holding a small traveling pack.

"Hn. I would have you do one more task for me while you are away, Kabuto." The Snake Sannin hissed quietly, licking his lips idly. "I am expecting a member of the Hidden Mist's Arashi Clan arriving in our lands soon. Make contact with him and be sure to direct him here. His talents will be most invaluable in the coming days."

Kabuto nodded, an odd smile playing on his lips. "As you wish, Orochimaru-sama."

---

"So, what exactly do you think we should do first?" Naruto asked, puzzled.

Sasuke made his usual "hn" noise as they plodded along the street, his hands in his pockets, looking rather sour.

"Aw jeez, you don't have any ideas? Not even one?" Naruto complained, rolling his eyes as he crossed his arms behind his head.

"I doubt you do either, dumbass." Sasuke said scathingly, glaring at the blonde.

"That's not true!" Naruto proclaimed defiantly, stopping in the street to turn toward his companion.

Sasuke arched a critical eyebrow. "What's your idea, then?" he asked suspiciously.

Naruto grinned widely. "We find some food!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Right. That's not an idea to get us back home, idiot." He scowled, wondering why he had even bothered asking. "Besides," he added, "Where are you going to get the money to pay for it?"

Naruto paused at that. He could go back to the Dojo for lunch and bring Sasuke; but frankly, he understood he was freeloading off of the Tendos and figured he needed to find a way to make some money on his own.

It was really too bad he had left behind his wallet...

His reverie was broken by a smell- a delightful, wonderful, enchanting smell that could only be-

"RAMEN!"

Sasuke bit back a groan as his blonde teammate (or ex-teammate, or... that was a gray area he didn't want to look into at the moment) ran off, following the scent of a bowl of noodles.

Sasuke took a step forward and suddenly winced, a wave of fresh pain that was too strong to ignore washing over him. His left arm began to ache, and his breath became shallow as a spike of pain was driven into his chest.

"Sasuke?" Naruto paused, looking back toward the Uchiha.

Panting, the Sharingan user shook his head, urging himself to get over the pain. "It's nothing." He muttered, wiping some sweat off his brow.

---

Kiba Inuzuka sighed, leaning into his pillow, wishing he was anywhere but the hospital. However, since people in Wind Country probably heard the Godaime Hokage's shouts when she discovered that Neji Hyuuga had slipped out of the hospital earlier, he decided against trying anything.

He wasn't willing to risk the wrath of a woman who could punch through stone walls like it was nothing.

"After that last mission, I'm surprised you have any energy left at all," the Hokage had muttered when he asked to leave the room to go outside, checking over his injuries listed on her clipboard.

The five of them- four, Kiba corrected, with Naruto currently missing in action- had yet to be formally debriefed about the mission, and even Shikamaru hadn't given the Godaime more than a brief outline of what had happened. This was mainly due to the fact that nearly all of them, save Shikamaru and the missing Naruto, were currently still under medical care for at while longer.

The mission...

Kiba clenched his fists. Even though he had learned one of his family's best jutsus, mastered an entirely new level of transformation, he had been beaten back soundly and nearly killed by the enemy.

From what he was told, he had received a minor concussion from attacking that giant gate of Sakon and Ukon's, which, truth be told, was small compared to the other injuries. The memory brought a painful reminder that there was still so many more enemies stronger than himself.

There was a shy knock on the door.

"Erm... Kiba?" a single, silvery white eye peeked in.

"Ah!" Kiba grinned, "Hinata! Come on in!" he said eagerly, gesturing wildly.

The Hyuuga's eldest daughter strode in shyly, smiling slightly. Behind her was Shino, still as silent as ever. The Aburame gave him a nod, which the other boy returned.

"I'm glad you two came," Kiba laughed, sitting himself up, propping up his pillows as he did so, "I've been bored out of my mind."

"When will they let you out?" Hinata asked quietly, placing herself in the chair in front of his bed. Shino, predictably, preferred to stand.

"Couple more days. They want to make sure that I'm in top shape." Kiba replied loudly, still grinning. "Hey, did you hear? Neji snuck out of the hospital, and ended up being yelled at by the Hokage herself!"

Hinata, despite herself, giggled.

Shino raised an eyebrow at the familiar way his teammate addressed the Hyuuga prodigy. They had both made a silent agreement after Hinata's match with Neji that the older boy was, to put it in Naruto's terms, a grade-A bastard.

It must have been that mission, the bug user postulated. "Kiba," Shino murmured, "Just what happened on that mission?"

"Me and Akamaru bit off a bit more than we could chew." Kiba replied simply, shrugging as he glanced at his faithful canine, sleeping in the corner. "I got separated from them, so I don't know what happened with Shikamaru and Naruto."

Hinata looked down at the mention of the blonde.

Both of her teammates noticed her demeanor immediately. "Don't worry, Hinata." Kiba assured her, laughing loudly to offset his own doubts, "Naruto's a tough guy. He wouldn't die so easily."

Though Shino frowned at the word die, he inclined his head toward his teammate in gratitude for the concern shown to their female companion.

"Thank you... Kiba." Hinata murmured, smiling gratefully.

"Still... I wish I could do something to help." Kiba muttered, scratching the back of his head. "But by the time Akamaru recovers, Naruto's scent would probably have faded away, if it hadn't already."

Hinata and Shino shared a look.

The Aburame coughed slightly. "Actually... that's something we needed to talk to you about." Kiba looked up at the other boy, puzzled. "There is a bug, the Bikochu, that, when first born, memorizes a single scent and can track that scent no matter how faint."

"And you want to use that to find Naruto?" Kiba said, catching on quickly.

Shino nodded. "The Hokage has placed your mission on hold pending Naruto's return. If we can find him, then we can confirm the success or failure of your mission."

Despite his controlled tone, both Hinata and Kiba could tell that the bug user was bothered by something.

"Oi... you're not going on some guilt trip, are ya?" Kiba asked slowly, staring hard at the Aburame. "Because you shouldn't feel bad because you were on a mission with your father at the time."

"If I had been available," Shino tried to assert, but the other boy cut him off.

"We ran out of time." Kiba muttered, looking down at the pearly white hospital sheets. "I just happened to be walking by Chouji's house at the time." He looked up, a slight quirk in his lips.

"If it helps, Naruto suggested that Shikamaru should have approached someone like you or Neji first, instead of Chouji." The Inuzuka grinned fully.

Shino raised his eyebrow at that. Naruto had only ever seen him fight once, and they had hardly exchanged more than a few words, if at that. To group a boy he had never seen the full abilities of with the genius of the Hyuuga was quite a compliment.

"Look, if we find this..." Kiba seemed to struggle to remember the name as he gestured about, searching his memory, "Bikochu thing, then it'll be because you brought it up. That means you helped us finish our mission."

To that, Shino had no argument.

---

Ranma blinked slowly, fighting the black dots that spotted his vision. Either the teacher's lecture was literally boring him to death, or that kid had really done a number on him.

The bell rang, signaling the next period, but Ranma barely seemed to notice.

"Ranma? Ranma!" Akane said loudly, gripping his shoulder and shaking him, thinking was asleep.

Nearby, Ukyo looked over concernedly as she packed up her books, and made sure her giant spatula was secure on her back.

Ranma hissed and winced. "Akane! Don't do that!" he snapped, grabbing his bookbag.

"If it hurts so much you should have said something, you jerk!" Akane shot back, narrowing her eyes and she pulled ahead of him, head held high in a haughty sniff.

"Stupid tomboy... what's she know..." Ranma muttered, under his breath. The black dots started growing and spreading. His body felt so heavy...

Without warning, a group of students bustled by the martial artist, a stray elbow caught him right where Sasuke had punched him.

Ranma made a loud curse and hissed as pain swallowed up his senses. He stumbled about drunkenly, trying to hold himself up.

"Hey Ranma? You alright?" someone- probably Hiroshi or Daisuke, slapped him on the back rather forcefully, and the martial artist yelped.

The noise caused the attention of the crowd of students toward Ranma. Unnoticed by all, however, was the slender, blue haired figure of Shampoo leaning out of one of the windows. With a sly, smile, she brought up a small, leather bag tied with string.

"With this, Shampoo win Ranma for sure." She murmured, remembering the merchant's words.

"No worries, pretty girl!" the Chinese traveling merchant grinned, handing her the bag. "This sure to knock any man off his feet, for sure!"

Shampoo opened the bag and poured out the dusty, golden powder onto her palm. Sucking in a deep breath, she blew out, letting the dust pour out over Ranma.

Ranma, unluckily, took a deep breath, and sucked the whole of the dust over himself.

Shampoo leered at him.

The people around him stared, but the young man didn't notice as he staggered forward, blinking blearily.

"Ranma?" Akane's voice seemed rather distant and faint, as though coming from far away.

"Ranma-honey?" that was Ukyo's voice...

Suddenly, the darkness rushed up toward him like a howling abyss.

The last thing he felt was a hard landing against the tile and Akane's voice.

"RANMA!"

---

Akane, for once, was the first to make it to Ranma's side as she pushed several students out the way, grabbing Ranma and turning him over, so that he wasn't lying face down.

Shampoo bit out a Chinese curse under her breath. "That not love powder! That knockout powder!" she muttered, annoyed. "Stupid merchant trick Shampoo!"

Once again, Shampoo's frustration was unnoticed as the crowd gathered around, eager to know the latest development about the unofficial king of Nerima.

"It looks like he just collapsed," Akane murmured thankfully, and, without thinking, placed his head on her lap so that he wasn't having to rest against the hard, cold tile while unconscious.

However, this tiny gesture would have massive ramifications.

Ukyo's face twisted into shock, surprise, and horror as she saw Ranma's head in Akane's lap. Her face went white as snow, her book bag fell to the ground with a soft thud. Without thinking, she turned and ran, as fast as she could. No one could be sure, but many suspected she was crying as she ran out of the building.

Kuno, who had been passing by (i.e. waiting to try and ambush Ranma and/or try to get Akane to date him), stood rooted to the spot. His face was, at first, whiter than the bandages wrapped around it, but then it changed, flushing with a deep, murderous red, filled with impotent rage. As he attempted to lunge toward the pair with a strangled growl, his injuries caught up with him again and Kuno toppled over.

No one put his head on their lap, however.

Shampoo's face contorted itself into the paragon of jealous rage as she flushed in terrible fury. She dropped the empty bag of sleeping powder and moved to attempt to strangle Akane. As she was about to lunge, however, Kuno collapsed nearby her, knocking her backwards and out the window, thus sparing Akane from strangulation.

The students milling about stared openly. Most of the time, you'd think Ranma and Akane were either a) already married, b) worst enemies, or c) still in grade school by the way they acted (i.e. argued). Most of the student body agreed that the two would never match, not with their personalities.

Even the students who spent time with Akane or Ranma never got the relationship between the two.

At this moment, however, it was fairly clear to everyone how they felt.

And, to add to the ripples this moment would make, Ryoga turned the corner, predictably lost inside the school (having tried to find his way out and ended up going inside). He too, paled as soon as he caught glimpse of the two.

He stared for a moment. He simply couldn't believe it. Akane was such a wonderful, sweet girl. He loved her. But the look of tender caring on her face as she held Ranma in her lap was so sincere that even Ryoga's stubborn nature could not deny it.

Ryoga turned and ran, hoping to God that his sense of direction led him far, far away for a good long while.

The males of the student body saw the scene, and, nearly in unison, sighed. Most had relinquished their dreams of dating the youngest Tendo, but there was always a faint, tiny hope that was stoked by the... enthusiastic arguments Akane and Ranma had.

But no more.

"I guess we really have lost Akane to Ranma then."

"Damn shame."

"Yeah..."

"You know, but that means Ukyo is free."

"Huh... that's true. And she can be pretty cute when she's not in uniform."

"Plus there's that Chinese girl that follows Ranma around that's now on the market."

"True... maybe this development won't be so bad after all."

Suddenly, Akane realized what she had done, and tried to pass it off quickly, but the damage had been done and now it was clear that many people were now apt to believe she and Ranma were more... intimate than they had previously thought.

Sighing, Akane pulled Ranma up, supporting him on her shoulder. "Even unconscious you still cause me grief," she muttered, but her tone and eyes were soft. "I'd better get you to the nurse's office."

---

Cologne frowned as she idly smoked a pipe, breathing out a large cloud of drifting gray smoke. It was just another day at the Cat Café, her restaurant.

A few customers were eating their Ranma animatedly, and Mousse was occasionally crashing about in the kitchen, somehow creating edible food despite his mistaking knives for spoons and the floor for bowls.

It was peaceful, relatively.

Almost too peaceful...

"RAMEN!"

The door burst open with a thunderous crash, and suddenly an orange clad blonde stood in the center of the shop, grinning like a maniac.

Some of customers looked on in interest, but most were already used to the sheer chaos of Nerima, which nearly always included (actually, it was more like required) the destruction of doors.

"What's all the ruckus?" Cologne said grumpily, stomping over toward the newcomer on her staff.

"Ah! It's the old mummy!" Naruto shouted, taking a step backwards, but not in time to avoid being clobbered by Cologne's staff.

Sasuke snickered as he leaned against the doorframe.

"So what do you want?" Cologne asked, back on top of her staff as she glared at the disrespectful blonde.

"Ramen!" Naruto grinned.

Cologne rolled her eyes, but decided that, if the blonde was going to be a customer, she might as well attempt to be patient with him. "Do you have money?" she asked, remembering that the two had appeared under mysterious circumstances.

Naruto paused, and flushed as he looked down at his feet. "Uh..."

Sasuke snickered again.

Cologne rolled her eyes again. "Well, if you don't have any money then beat it." The Amazon matriarch muttered, irritable.

Naruto looked up again, his sky blue eyes wide and pleading; a move that he had used on Iruka several times to coerce free ramen from the chuunin. "Please... I'm so hungry..." he complained, rubbing his stomach. When the white haired elder did not look convinced, he continued, "I'll do anything! Please!"

Cologne glanced at the boy with a curious look. "There is one thing..." she began slowly.

---

The door to the Tendo household opened with a shuffle and a groan as Akane hefted the still unconscious Ranma on her shoulder. "You eat way too much," she complained, even though she knew it would fall on deaf ears.

"Akane? You're home awfully early from school," Kasumi's voice drifted from the hallway as the eldest Tendo daughter came out to greet her sister. As her eyes fell upon Ranma's sleeping form, however, they widened. "Oh my! What happened to Ranma?"

"He just passed out while we were at school. The nurse said that he's not hurt, just unconscious for some reason." Akane explained, hefting Ranma toward the stairs as she did so. Kasumi moved toward her and helped her sister support the pig tailed martial artist up the stairs.

"Oh dear." Kasumi murmured, as the two reached the top of the stairs. "I do hope Ranma is alright."

Akane shrugged. "I'm sure he'll be fine." She said quietly, dragging him off to his room.

However, under her breath, she added softly, "I hope."

---

Just outside of the Tendo residence, two more people were coming in- though both of them were conscious.

"I can't believe we agreed to that old hag's terms." Sasuke grumbled, glaring at Naruto as though it was somehow his fault.

"Eh, shut up! We got good ramen out of the deal!" Naruto replied loudly, patting his stomach in satisfaction. That old hag might have been weird looking, but her ramen was nearly as good as Ichiraku.

"You're such an idiot." Sasuke muttered, rolling his eyes. "Do you ever think without your stomach?"

"Ninja should always eat whenever they can, because you never know what might happen next!" Naruto said loudly.

The Uchiha stared at him for a moment, before speaking in a low drawl, "You stole that from Kakashi-sensei, didn't you?"

Naruto grinned sheepishly. "Well... maybe..." he said, scratching the back of his head.

"Dumbass." Sasuke muttered again. "So, why are we here?" he asked slowly, eyeing the house.

"We've got nowhere else to sleep, do we?" Naruto remarked airily, grinning still. "Besides, Kasumi is a great cook!"

"We're going to freeload?" Sasuke wrinkled his nose. He despised having to rely on others.

Naruto frowned. "No!" he said loudly. "We're going to pay them with the money we get from the old hag!"

"Don't remind me about that." Sasuke murmured, rolling his eyes as he snorted in disbelief at both himself and Naruto.

"I can't believe that we've been reduced to delivery boys for a ramen shop."

Naruto grinned widely. "I don't know what you're complaining about! Discounts on ramen plus being paid? That's a great deal!" and with that, he opened the door, shouting at the top of his lungs, "Kasumi! I'm back!"

Kasumi walked down the stairs, smiling serenely. "Thank you for bringing Ranma and Akane their things, Naruto. I've still got some leftovers from lunch, if you'd like."

Naruto's grin brightened, but he shook his head. "Ah, sorry Kasumi. I ate already. But thanks, anyway." He said sunnily. After a moment, he glanced at the dark haired boy next to him, as though he had forgotten he was there. "Oh, and this is Sasuke Uchiha. Don't mind him, he's just a bastard to everyone."

Sasuke's glare was so venomous that it looked as though he was trying to make Naruto spontaneously combust through sheer will alone.

"It's nice to meet you, Sasuke." Kasumi said lightly, smiling.

Sasuke actually had the urge to smile back for a moment. A spike of pain surfaced as he was reminded of his mother's own smiling face for some reason. Still, he could not find it in himself to resent this motherly figure.

"Eh, Kasumi... do you think we could stay here, at least until we figure out how to get back home?" Naruto asked sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "We can pay you now that we have jobs, too!" he added brightly.

Kasumi smiled. "You're welcome to stay. And there's no need to pay..." she began, but the blonde cut her off with a loud, sunny smile and voice.

"But I want to! Kasumi has been very nice, and so I want to help out too!" Naruto grinned, his eyes bright and expressive, like an eager child's.

Kasumi seemed almost startled for a moment, before she smiled brightly. "Okay then! That's a deal!"

---

Upstairs, Akane was feeling none of the sunniness that was being shared downstairs. Instead, she felt rather mired. She knew for a fact that news about her unconscious gesture of kindness towards Ranma would spread rapidly.

Inwardly, she shuddered. She wasn't sure if Nerima would survive the rampage that would ensue.

Ranma made a low groan from his lying down position on his futon.

"Ranma!" Akane said, startled as she leaned over him, eyes bright with concern. "You're awake!"

"What the heck happened to me..." the martial artist muttered sleepily, yawning as he pulled himself up.

"You're asking me!" Akane said irritably, rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms. Remembering all the problems that seemed to loom on the horizon because of her helping him soured her considerably. "You're the one who passed out!"

"I did?" Ranma frowned, his mouth setting itself in a deep, annoyed line. "I must have been in bad shape after that fight..." he muttered, unaware that the sleeping powder Shampoo had slipped him was the true cause of his previous state.

Ranma's urge to get stronger was well known to only rise up when his position as the best fighter in Nerima was challenged or usurped. And supposedly being injured to the point where he passed out after a fight was definitely part of that condition.

"Next time, I'll beat that little snot." Ranma promised under his breath.

"Well, now that you're feeling better, I'd better see if Kasumi needs anything. It's too late to head back to school now." Akane said, standing up straight and stepping out of the room.

As Akane came downstairs, she spotted Naruto's distinctive head of blonde hair.

"Naruto? When did you-" she was cut off as resounding crash shattered the front door in a hail of dust and debris. Kasumi looked nonplused at the destruction of her front door as Sasuke and Naruto leaped away, both glaring at the intruder with annoyance.

Shampoo's slender frame stood above the wreckage, her eyes burning with fierce anger of a woman scorned. In her hand was a long, elegant straight sword of Chinese make. "Akane!" she shouted loudly, thrusting her sword toward the other girl. "I KILL!"

Akane managed a strangled yelp as Shampoo charged up the stairs, swinging the blade down at her-

Only to be blocked by a kunai, held by Naruto, who glared defiantly at the blue haired girl. "Oi! What do you think you're doing, attacking Akane like that!" he demanded, thankful that he had picked up the weapons Sasuke had thrown during their earlier fight.

"You no get in my way!" Shampoo snarled, her nostrils flaring as she pulled back, swishing the sword. "Otherwise, you die too!" she charged again.

Naruto pushed Akane back with a grunt and blocked with his kunai, straining as he did so. His eyes widened. She's so strong... not as strong as old lady Tsunade, but still beyond what her slender frame seemed to say.

Sasuke watched on in amusement. He wasn't going to let Naruto get killed until they figured out a way home, but watching the blonde struggle against this sword wielding girl was entertaining nonetheless.

Naruto ducked a sweeping slash from Shampoo, and parried another downward blow with his kunai. In his head, he was asking to any deity who would listen, Why is everyone here so violent!

Shampoo snarled, coming down hard again with her sword. Naruto sidestepped the blow and swung out with his fist, hoping to knock her out.

Shampoo, however, leapt nimbly aside, before counterattacking with a series of sweeping motions that left the air humming with the blade's movements.

Naruto ducked and weaved to avoid the first series of blows, but Shampoo's abilities with sword proved to be formidable as the blonde ninja was forced to rely on his small kunai to parry the other blows. Each time, his wrist began to shudder under each impact, and his arm ached terribly.

Finally, Naruto decided that he could take any more chances and leapt backwards, getting some distance between himself and the girl. His hands moved to make the seal for Kage Bunshin.

Shampoo charged, hoping to strike before the blonde pulled off his technique.

Naruto opened his mouth. "Kage-"

"That's enough!"

Suddenly, a shower of water was flung over Shampoo, startling Naruto enough that he didn't finish his sentence and his technique. Akane stood to the side, panting with her dripping, but now nearly empty bucket.

"I don't think water is going to stop her, Akane..." Naruto began, but then trailed off as his eyes bugged out. Nearby, Sasuke's own eyes widened.

Where the blue haired young woman had once stood, now was only a very angry, pink furred cat with a tiny bell clinging to each strand of fur that came down from its (somehow very human haired) head. The cat's crimson eyes narrowed and it hissed at Akane angrily.

"... What the Hell?" Naruto said blankly, staring. He didn't think that the blue haired girl had used a Transformation jutsu, but...

"Oh, that's right. You don't know." Akane said, dropping the bucket as she smiled slightly. "Shampoo has a curse because she fell into the Cursed Spring of Drowned Cat. Whenever she gets hit by cold water, she turns into a cat. Hot water changes her back."

"... she turns into a cat when hit with water?" Naruto said slowly. Sasuke kept staring, as though the whole thing was (and it was, actually) completely ludicrous.

Akane nodded, as though it was a completely acceptable fact that a mixture of two hydrogens and one oxygen could turn someone from a human being to a cat.

"Oh..." Naruto said, nodding his head in understanding. A moment later, his countenance did a complete about face.

"ARE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE!"

---

Eventually, Akane managed to convince both Naruto and Sasuke that there was, in fact, a Cursed Spring of Drowned Cat when she poured hot water on Shampoo's head.

Of course, the first thing the blue haired girl did upon her return to human form was to pick up where she left off and attack Akane again.

Thankfully, Akane threw a second bucket of water at Shampoo, thus neutralizing the attack and furthering the proof that Shampoo really did turn into a cat in cold water.

"So... anyone else turn into cats around here?" Sasuke asked sardonically, gazing at Akane, and then Kasumi.

Akane shook her head. "No cats... but Ranma does turn into a girl,his father turns into a panda,and Mousse into a duck..."

Naruto blinked, once, twice. "Wait... so Ranma has a curse too? He fell into a Cursed Spring of Drowned-"

"Girl, yeah, yeah. Geez Akane, just tell everyone why don'tcha." Ranma's voice came down the stairs, grumbling and full of annoyance. Sasuke stiffened as he heard Ranma.

Naruto glanced at Sasuke, praying fervently that there wouldn't be another fight.

Ranma came down the stairs, scratching the back of his head and looking fairly annoyed...

Until he spotted Sasuke.

The air suddenly felt as though there was a static current running through the atmosphere, and a pair of obsidian black eyes glared at a pair of metallic blue eyes which glared back with equal force.

"What's he doin' here?" Ranma asked, turning to Akane with an expectant glare.

"Naruto and Sasuke here will be staying with us for awhile. They've already agreed to pay for room and board, isn't that nice?" Kasumi answered, smiling happily.

Ranma choked. Living under the same roof with that guy?

Sasuke was thinking the exact same thing, though neither would have been happy to know that.

Ranma made a low growling noise.

Sasuke delivered his best "Go-To-Hell-And-Die" glare, one that could even make Naruto shut up on occasion.

"Well, well, that's a nice surprise. People living here and actually paying to do so?" Nabiki's slow drawl broke through the tension as she came in, looking vaguely amused. "I must say that's not a bad deal."

"Not a bad deal?" Ranma grumbled, looking irritable.

Nabiki shot him a smirking look. "Compared to your free ride here. After all, sometimes we can't get enough hot water because of the bills... and think about how having both these boys paying for their stay here would benefit that problem." She smiled like a Cheshire cat, and Ranma, guilty at times over the monetary problems his (and his father's) presence caused for the Tendos, conceded defeat.

Ranma glanced away in a huff. Sasuke merely set his glare from deadly to his usual standoffish glare.

Both Naruto and Akane had a bad feeling about this arrangement...

---

Somehow, they got through dinner and the rest of the night without problems (other than constant glaring) between Sasuke and Ranma. The only thing of note was Soun Tendo's happy sobs when he was told that the two boys would pay for their stay at the dojo.

After all, that freed him from having to do anything other than his normal routine- playing constant games of shogi with Genma, Ranma's father.

Naruto had the sneaking suspicion that Shikamaru could probably beat both of the adults blindfolded, however, from the constant cheating the two engaged in.

The next, Naruto and Sasuke began their jobs as ramen delivery boys.

"Now, first, show me just how fast you are. I need to know if you are truly going to be an asset to Cat Café." Cologne said slowly, smoking her pipe.

Naruto grinned cheekily and immediately did a back flip out of the shop, onto the wall across the way, and then ran up the side of the building to the roof in a matter of moments.

Cologne smiled slightly, and glanced at the other boy.

Sasuke made a low grunt of annoyance and performed the same feat, but in even less time.

Cologne was intrigued by the fact that the boy's were focusing their ki into their feet to make themselves faster and run up the walls. It was a degree of manipulation that was normally found in extremely high levels of the martial arts, but here it was in the hands of two twelve year old boys.

Who are these two?

Still, Cologne was more than pleased with their abilities and happily brought them the carrying cases for the ramen; metal boxes with wooden handles.

Sasuke, predictably, was not happy about the job in the least. However, he took the metal casing that housed the bowl of ramen and the paper with the directions without question. In a flash, he disappeared, using the same trick as he and Kakashi had done when they arrived at the Chuunin exams for the fight with Gaara.

"Showoff." Naruto muttered, grabbing his own delivery and directions and taking off using chakra in his feet. After a brief period of time, he arrived a large, wall enclosed house that was fairly large, with a pair of large, Western style wooden doors.

Naruto knocked, calling out cheerily, "Ramen delivery!"

The door opened to reveal a young woman, probably around Akane's age, with long, frazzled brown hair and piercing blue-green orbs. She was wearing strange, long blue robes. "Ah. Thank you." She said, smiling enigmatically, taking the box and handing him a bundle of cash.

"Uh... no problem." Naruto said awkwardly, fazed by the girl's strange appearance. "Um... what are you supposed to be?"

The girl blinked for a moment, and arched her eyebrow. "I am a fortune teller. You may call me Mio."

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto said loudly, always pleased to introduce himself.

"Hm... Naruto... would you like your fortune read?" Mio asked, her emerald eyes holding a strange, otherworldly look to them that reminded him of an owl's gaze, sharp and piercing.

Naruto paused for a moment, weighing his options. He'd never had his future read before, and never really thought about fortune telling. But... maybe it would help him find a way home...

"Sure." The blonde shrugged.

"Then follow me." Mio said airily, and opened the door wider, gesturing for the genin to come inside. Naruto followed the fortune teller into a room, lit up only by candles and without any other source of light. Shelves were stacked with strange objects; arcane symbols, odd relics, and jars filled with strange things that Naruto really didn't want to see any clearer.

Mio set down the ramen off to the side and moved to stand next to a circular, cloth covered table. She motioned for him to sit down in the chair in front of the table. Naruto sat, suddenly feeling uncomfortable as he eyed the lit candle that sat upon the center of the table.

Without a word, the fortune teller rummaged about on one of the shelves, until she retrieved a deck of elongated cards.

"What's that?" Naruto asked curiously.

"This is a Tarot card deck." Mio explained. "I'll just give you a general reading."

Mio shuffled the deck once, twice, thrice, and placed the first card down, a horned, winged demon standing above a chained man and woman, both of whom were naked. "The Devil." She murmured, naming the card with an even voice.

Naruto shuddered, and automatically, his thoughts drifted to the Kyubi.

"This is your past. You were never in control of your past, it was determined by an evil, malicious force that now dwells inside of you, eating away at you like a cancer." Her words were like shadowy wisps of poison. "You had the choice to either be swallowed up by this darkness, or to stand in the light, accepting that as part of you are."

Mio paused and stared at him for a moment, as if weighing him on a spectral scale. "I believe you are one who has chosen to stand in the light and accept the shadows within."

Naruto said nothing, and did not feel much better for the veiled compliment.

The girl moved on and took the next card from the deck, laying down a little below the first card, so that the top left corner of that card and the bottom right of the Devil were facing each other.

This card was the exact opposite of the Devil- there was an angelic man backed by the sun, standing over an unchained man and woman.

"The Lovers. This is your present." Mio said airily, her words like a mystic smoke descending onto the room.

Naruto blushed, looking downwards. "So someone's in love with me then, right!" he said excitedly. Maybe Sakura-chan-

Mio shook her head, unknowingly dashing a rather pleasant daydream the blonde ninja was about to embark on. "It doesn't have to mean a loving, or even sexual relationship. What this means is that you and another person have an intertwined destiny, and that there will be a choice facing you. It is a card of choice."

Now Naruto's thoughts were on Sasuke. It did look like he and that bastard were thrown into this mess together, and there was still the choice of whether or not Sasuke would return to the Hidden Leaf.

After she had finished speaking, Mio then played out the next card, with a man standing on a cliff, a bright sun to his back and the sea to his front, once again moving a little downwards and diagonally. She was watching it carefully as it was laid onto the table. "Ah. The Fool. This card represents your future."

Naruto bristled with indignation. "Hey! I'm no idiot!" he snarled, gritting his teeth.

Unruffled, the brown haired girl shook her head. "The Fool isn't a put down. This card represents unmoulded potential, the capacity for both positive and negative outcomes. It's a new beginning, but not one that is without peril. Note the cliff the Fool stands near- that is where you stand."

Once again, Naruto felt troubled and confused. Why couldn't it have been more definite? Wasn't there anything in there about being Hokage, or going on a date with Sakura-chan, or beating Sasuke up and bringing him home?

Mio then took a fourth card and placed it down in the same manner as before. On it were two wolves howling at the large moon that hovered overhead. "This is quite strange." She said softly. "The Moon... the path you must take is dark and winding, and you may not know where you are going. But you must trust your intuition, and continue on regardless."

Naruto weighed the words carefully, trying his best to understand.

The fortune teller removed the fifth card from the deck, and placed it higher than the fourth card, placing its bottom left adjacent to the top right of the Moon. It depicted (much to Naruto's mortification) a naked woman bending over a pool, underneath a bright star.

"The Star... this is your aid. Hope and faith, belief that burns throughout the darkest night." Mio said quietly. "A most fortunate help, I believe."

Naruto privately agreed, showing it with a very taciturn nod and nothing else. He didn't trust himself to speak just yet, for once.

The sixth card was placed in the same manner as the fifth. It was a woman (thankfully garbed in very chaste robes that covered everything but her face), sitting between a black pillar and a white pillar.

"The High Priestess... your hopes and your fears are centered around her, around what she represents." Mio's voice seemed like a ghost's caress in the shadows. "She is the Shadow, your negative half. It's power is open to you to make your dreams reality, but you fear it... you fear that the Shadow will be exposed and you will be hated for it."

Once again, a disturbingly accurate reference to the Kyubi and Naruto's innermost fear, his greatest one of all- that the Kyubi would be revealed and he would be shunned by his friends.

The seventh card was placed directly across from the first card, in the same manner as the sixth, creating an arrowhead pattern. The card depicted a large tower surrounded by clouds, and being struck with lightning.

"The final card, the outcome of your destiny is the Tower..." she murmured. "You must cast aside all unnecessary things, you must decide upon what you truly need- and then you must proceed forward. The status quo will be changed- violently."

Mio studied the blonde with guarded interest. "I have never read a fortune such as yours before. This is most intriguing."

Naruto gave a low, forced laugh. "Well... this is all just hocus pocus, right? I mean... it's not like all of this is real..." he trailed off, and no one was convinced.

"Well. Perhaps Fate can be averted, or I have misread the cards." Mio acquiesced slowly, steepling her fingers together. "And it is good not to put too much stock into the cards. After all, sometimes believing too much in Fate creates a self-fulfilling prophecy."

Naruto forced another laugh as he nodded, and slowly backed away. "Uh... thanks for the fortune reading Miss Mio... I'll see ya." He said with false cheer, and moved out the door, closing it with barely concealed haste.

After a few moments of walking, he ran the rest of the way back to the Cat Café.

"Naruto Uzumaki... I'll have to watch that one." Mio murmured, and glanced over the cards.

"Great changes are about to begin... but what kind, I wonder?"


Author's Notes

I am an idiot. That was my mistake for not looking at Chapter 182 of the manga. Shino actually was on a mission with his father, as mentioned by Kiba. Still, that fact doesn't change anything in the story, so it's unimportant, but thanks for pointing it out.

Now, onto another issue. Or rather, an old issue.

Power levels. Specifically, Ranma's power level this time around. Look, I don't care how badass you think he is. I've determined his power level for this story, and that's it. No amount of "Ranma's way cooler than that, and his techniques are so 1337!" will change my opinions. In all actuality, I think people are overplaying a lot of Ranma's abilities in the fandom today. Most of the older (and usually better) stories in the Ranma ½ fandom don't show the same Uber!Ranma that the newer ones do. The same policy goes for any other character.

So stop leaving reviews that only talk about power levels. I'm not going to change the power levels.

Secondly. There's the matter of my listing techniques, since this has come up. Okay, most people are not going to need a glossary or translation for Kage Bunshin- but sometimes, the descriptions of the technique in the writing aren't enough. If it bothers you, then there's always the option that move down to skip it. I'm mostly doing it about the Ranma ½ techniques, since some people might not be totally familiar with them.

Finally, on Mio, since even people familiar with Ranma ½ might no know her. Mio is one of those one episode characters. But her role as a fortune teller was just too interesting for me to pass up.

... I hate leaving long author's notes. I really do. Please don't make me address more issues.