Story of my
life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow
in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company
I just got in, and he doesn't look at me. He avoids my eyes. He knows what happened. He knows what always happens. I'm used to it by now. He never looks at me after I get back, because he knows that only a few hours ago I allowed my body to become one with another man. And not just any man either, his enemy.
He's more than a
man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is
blue
But clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to
him I just can't be true
My husband is more than just a man. He's really amazing… but I don't love him. I love his enemy. It's more than love actually… he's the reason my sky is blue. I'm at his house again, in his bed, and the sky is darkening. He asks me to leave my husband, he asks me every time I come around, as we lie on his bed before I have to prepare to leave. I want to. I love his enemy more than I love him, but something always stops me, so we continue our visits.
And I know that he
knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am
happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
My husband knows that I'm unfaithful. He knows that everyday I land on the bed of his enemy, but he never speaks of it. I can see his pain, and I hate seeing it. He knows that I would be happy with someone other than him, and I can see him dying.
I don't wanna do this
anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out
the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt
him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna
be...
A murderer
I don't want to do this. I like my husband, and I want to love him. I don't want to be the reason he dies. I don't want to hurt him, but I can't seem to stop going to see Harry. I can't seem to stay away from him, he's so intoxicating, and it kills my husband. Maybe that's why I can't leave him. He tells me everyday that he needs me. I know… I know that if I walked, he'd die, and I don't want to be a murderer.
I feel it in the air
As
I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss up on my
cheek
He's here reluctantly
As if I'm gonna be out late
I
say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't
have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And
we know it very well
I'm doing my hair; my wand is working its magic on my soft red locks, twisting them into full curls that cascade over my shoulders. I paint my lips a soft red, brush green eye shadow over my eyelids, and when I turn around he's standing there. I smile. He asks where I'm going. I tell him that I'm going out, with Luna and Hermione.
He nods sadly and kisses my cheek, knowing that it's a lie. He knows that I'm going to Harry, that I'm dressing up for Harry. He looks as though he doesn't want to be here, he knows that I'll be back late, and he'll wait up for me, just like he always does. He knows that I'll hurt him, just like I always do.
Cause I know that he
knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am
happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
He knows that I'm unfaithful, that I could be happy with Harry. He knows, and it kills him. He hates me for it. I know he does, but at the same time. He still loves me. No matter what, he still loves me. It's odd really. I never would have guessed that he would end up loving me.
I don't wanna do this
anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out
the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt
him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna
be...
A murderer
I don't want to kill him. I tried to stop going to see Harry. After about two weeks I cracked and was back in his bed, back in his arms. When I came home my husband was waiting, and the look on his face tore me, but it didn't kill me, because I had just had my moment with Harry, and I was happy.
Our love, his trust
I
might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I
don't wanna do this
Anymore, anymore
My love with Harry is amazing. We know that we love each other, we always have really. My feelings for Harry outdo anything I feel for my husband. There was once a time when he hated me, my husband did, but now… now he loves me, and I hate that fact. The fact that he loves me is the fact that makes it so hard to leave him.
I don't wanna do this
anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out
the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt
him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna
be...
A murderer, a murderer
He calls my name; I'm on my way out the door. He looks at me, and I see the hurt in those grey eyes of his. His hands run through his platinum blonde hair and he looks as though he's going to say something, but instead he only grins halfheartedly, coming down the stairs of the manor that we live in and kissing my cheek.
"I need you Ginny. I love you Ginny."
His eyes are pleading, begging me not to walk out that door, pleading with me to stop this now. I waver slightly, prepared to close the door. He sees it begin to close a fraction of an inch, and his grey eyes light up. Then I think of Harry, waiting for me in his flat. Waiting to kiss me and tell me that he's sorry that he ever left me. That he should have thought about it.
Harry is waiting, waiting to tell me that he loves me, and that Draco Malfoy doesn't deserve me. Never in a million years did Harry ever think I would marry him, and I know that he's waiting for me, so that he can ask me again to leave Draco behind.
I offer Draco a half smile, not meeting his eyes and I kiss his cheek, opening the door. I tell him that Luna and Hermione are waiting for me, and the last thing I see before I close that door is the pain in his eyes.
I didn't want to hurt him, but I couldn't seem to stop. The way I felt about Harry was too strong, and the guilt I felt for leading Draco on was just as powerful. I didn't want to be a murderer, but that's what I am. When I got back to our Manor that night, Draco Malfoy was dead, his wand at his side.
Harry and I are together now, and Draco is no longer in pain. I visit his grave, I apologize to him, and the guilt that I feel is horrible, but I always feel better about myself and what happened when I'm in Harry's arms…
