How could this all be happening so fast? I liked Ron, I loved Draco, there was the ultimate difference. Couldn't he see? The years Draco and I spent together would be an eternity compared to the fact that I had just met Ron that day.

I couldn't handle it; that look in his eye that said "I don't love you anymore."

It hurt. It felt like my heart was withering away like a dead rose. Like everything had been living with till that day seemed so long ago. I didn't want to be there, I wanted to hide somewhere forever. As I ran out of the dark passage, I accidentally ran straight into Neville. Just as that happened, he lost the tight grip he had on his toad and he hopped away.

"On no!"

Neville cried. He had spent the entire trail ride looking for that toad. He had gotten it back not even 5 minutes ago. Now I felt really terrible.

"Oh Neville, I'm sorry."

I tried to choke out while holding back tears. I noticed he saw tears swelling up and I turned away to catch up with the group. I never let people see me cry. It feels like they're seeing right through me, past everything I was and to what I really am. I was too far behind to hear what Professor McGonagal said but as I got there, she disappeared into the Great Hall. I lingered in the back, silent, hoping to see Trevor somewhere when I heard him speak. It was a cold, egotistical tone I had never heard him use.

"So it's true. What they're saying on the train. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts."

He casually walked to where Harry and Ron stood. He took one look at Ron, one glance at me, and shoved him away. I couldn't listen to what he was saying. All I did was stare at him, he had changed so much. He had gotten taller, his hair was longer, his face was less babyish; he was less of the way I liked him. He wasn't sweet anymore, he didn't have that certain glow that made me so enthralled with him. He had definitely changed. Without a warning, I suddenly found myself walking without emotion into the Great Hall. We stopped in front of the table were the staff sat. I heard the Professor talking but I really didn't want to hear anything. I suddenly realized she called my name. I made my way up, steps above the others, and to the stool. I searched the mass. Right in the middle was Draco, talking to his new friends. I could tell he was trying not to look at me, I could his glare trying to avoid me. He suddenly broke it and, for once it seemed in such a long time, he looked at me. But not just at me, within me. It was hard to look away from him, from the one I loved. He looked away, pretending nothing had happened. "GRYFFINDOR!" The hat shouted. I was relieved to get off of this pedestal where I wasn't being stared at. I went to sit at the Gryffindor table, unable to stop from crying.

I dreamed about him. The way he used to be when I loved him. It's always the same dream. We were together, by the lake like we had been so many times. He was holding me and telling me he loved me. We watch as the sun goes down, peacefully. Then, at the hint of darkness, he is gone, without any warning, without any goodbyes. I suddenly feel so cold without his warmth, so empty without his embrace. Then I hear this song playing in the distance.

"My Only Hope. My Only Peace, My Only Joy, My Only Strength. My Only Power. My Only Life…"

And then, as soft as an evening breeze, the last words are said.

"My Only Love."

And suddenly, things felt so secure, like I couldn't see him, but I knew he was there.

I really don't like the way I'm writing this. It's going to slow. I'll try to pick it up and not make it so boring.