I could lie and tell
you that I never lose control, that Doctors aren't afforded the
ability to do so because we handle life and death situations every
single day and losing control would be unprofessional. I could say
that before the island I'd never had an instance where I was so out
of my element that the world seemed to un-align and nothing was
right. I could say all those things but I don't think even the most
optimistic of you would believe me. I'm a cynic at heart so I could
probably recount every single instance in my life where I've lost
control of a situation or myself, but I'm not going to.
I could
actually tell you about all those times and there are many, but
honestly for the post part in my life I've stayed in control, at
least of myself. There are plenty of situations that just spiraled
out of control so fast that I couldn't even blink and catch where
things went wrong; My relationship with my father, my mother,
my wife ex.
Like most people, I don't particularly like being out of control personally and I really don't like being in a situation where things are so crazy that you can't tell which way is up, yet I'm on an island where exactly that happens.
The thing about me is that I'm committed, when I decide on a task, I do it, I don't shirk my duty and I don't half ass it. I just do it and I do it to the best of my ability. Once I start something I finish it, I have to, who else will?
I guess I could go into all the instances when I've felt out of control on the island, but there are too many to name and I'm really not that interesting.
This island is the epitome of losing control; for me anyway, nothing is the same, nothing is definite and everything changes by the moment. If I thought a plane crash was out of my control I was kidding myself, I figured once things settled down we'd be able to survive, find a way off (though I wasn't holding my breath) but getting settled was only the beginning of losing control.
