#97 - Writer's Choice: Romance

Facets of True Love

Segment Notes: With it being June and all, I wanted to celebrate asexuality a bit. I always seem to end up thinking at least one character in a series is asexual, and for 5Ds that's Kalin. I've seen other fans get such a vibe from him too, which is cool. I also have the most difficult time seeing romance as the be-all and end-all of relationships (I try, but it just won't process), which influences fic themes and how I write some of the characters who are not asexual in my works. Then the piece developed more and ended up getting into the concept of heterosexual life partners, which I absolutely adore with all my heart. Just to be clear, since it can also refer to a heterosexual romantic couple in a common law marriage, the way the term is used here means two people of the same gender who commit to spend their lives together as friends. If it's two people of the opposite genders, it's called platonic life partners. Not sure who came up with the terms, but the concept is so squeeful.

Radley yawned and stretched as he rolled over on the couch and looked up at Kalin. They had been idly watching the television but had both grown bored upon finding little else on but cheesy romance movies. Kalin had finally snapped off the television in mounting irritation. Radley, resting with his head on Kalin's lap, certainly hadn't minded.

"You know, I still can't figure out why all forms of love aren't given the same level of importance," he said. "You never hear people saying what they want most is to have a best friend or a heterosexual or platonic life partner. It's always all about the romance, like that's the highest form of love and nothing else matters as much."

Kalin shrugged. "Society is inundated with that idea and passes it on to every generation."

"Yeah. I just wonder how it got started."

"Judging from how humanity behaves, it's probably been that way since the dawn of time," Kalin grunted.

"Hmm. Well, I'll admit it's important in the respect of carrying on the human race if a guy and a girl get together, but aside from that, I just can't see what makes it better," Radley said. "I was always fine with the idea, but I was just as happy to think of true friends and family. True love just being romance is so outdated. It's all real love when you find the right people."

"I don't disagree," Kalin said. "But I wonder if the emphasis on romance is because most people expect that other relationships will end or become long-distance and that only a romantic partner will stay right with you in the same location."

"I wouldn't be surprised, honestly," Radley said. "It seems like it's usually seen as pathetic if friends stay together instead of going their separate ways to pursue their life plans. But sometimes, life plans are the same and friends have no reason to not stay together." He gave a bittersweet smile. "I can't deny I wonder if and when some of the Bunch will decide to leave. I can't imagine they'll all stay here forever. Not that I don't wish they would; there's plenty of work here and new job opportunities all the time as the town is built up more."

"You never know," Kalin said. "Maybe they'll all stay. You gave them light and hope when they had none. Maybe for all of them, their happiness will come from staying here and building up the town you wanted for them so badly. More people are moving in too, for whichever ones might want to get married."

"It's nice to think about," Radley said.

"And I'm sure that even if some leave, some will stay," Kalin said. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm glad," Radley said. "I hope you'll always feel that way."

"I will," Kalin assured him. "You talked about heterosexual life partners. That would be like the ultimate level of friendship, wouldn't it?"

"It would be," Radley smiled.

"That was something I always liked the sound of," Kalin said quietly. "Two friends together for the long haul. I probably liked that more than anything else."

Radley's eyes flickered with surprise. "Really? There aren't many who would say that."

"Which is one reason why I haven't talked about it either," Kalin said. "There aren't many to say it to." He rested his hand on Radley's, which were clasped on his chest. "And speaking of society's obsession with romance, people talk about us, you know," he intoned.

Radley laughed. "Yeah, I know. We give them plenty of reason to think stuff about us, and they do. The funny thing is, I'm straight. Never had any attraction to guys. And I'm still not really looking for anyone. I wouldn't object, but it's just not a priority in my life. If I never get married, that's fine with me."

"You'd probably be good with kids, though," Kalin said.

"Yeah, and think how many uncles they'd have," Radley grinned. "Including you."

Kalin smiled a bit. "I never have understood why kids like me," he admitted. "But then it's hard for me to grasp that adults like me too. At least now I accept it, even if I don't understand it."

"Good," Radley said.

"As for myself, I've never had any attraction to anyone," Kalin said matter-of-factly.

"Asexual, huh?" Radley didn't sound surprised.

"Asexual, aromantic, probably both," Kalin said.

"I pretty much suspected," Radley said. "But then I wasn't sure when I realized you were suffering from depression so much when you got here. I thought maybe it was just a by-product of that." He smirked. "But then you still acted like that when you got your mind clear too."

"Yeah, I was always that way," Kalin said. "I never really talked about it with anyone, though."

"Not even Yusei and the others?" Radley said in some surprise.

"It never came up," Kalin shrugged. "We were all focused on fixing the Satellite. We'd talk about that, and dueling, and our dreams of the future, and that was pretty much it. Then I lost my mind and it was all downhill from there."

"That makes sense," Radley admitted. "So none of you guys' dreams had anything to do with settling down with a sweetheart?"

"No," Kalin said. "Jack wanted to somehow become a pro Duelist, even though that seemed impossible at the time. Crow wanted to keep raising kids like Martha and give them a healthy environment to grow up in. I wanted to make sure the Satellite stayed safe . . . and Yusei said he'd be happy to stay with me and make that his dream too. He was the one other person I talked to about liking the thought of friends staying together forever . . . although I never did bring up asexuality in connection with that." He smirked. "Yusei always got kind of embarrassed to talk about any sex-related subjects."

Radley chuckled. "It's hard to picture Yusei getting flustered like that." But he soon sobered as the rest of Kalin's words really processed. ". . . Oh," he said softly. "I guess Jack and Crow were able to have their dreams, but yours and Yusei's kind of got shot down."

"I'm the one who wrecked them," Kalin said. "I became bent on power and I destroyed the team. Then I let myself believe Yusei turned against me, even after he stayed during all of my madness! I still can't understand why I couldn't consider that there was another possibility for what I thought I saw. I know I wasn't mentally able to do that, and yet I feel like I should have been able to. Yusei meant everything to me! Why wasn't I able to reason out that he wasn't trying to betray me?!" He sighed. "But nevermind. I know there are no real answers to such a question."

Radley sat up. "I'm really sorry anyway, Kalin," he said quietly. "Being betrayed, or even just thinking it's happened, hurts like hell."

Kalin nodded in acknowledgment. ". . . Even thinking he'd betrayed me, though, part of me couldn't stay mad," he said. "He was my best friend and I still cared about him."

Radley stared at him. "You never said that before," he said in surprise. "You've always said the darkness consumed you because you were filled with hate towards Yusei."

Kalin sighed. "Sometimes I don't know how to explain it myself. I was, and yet part of me wasn't. And that part of me . . . really just wanted our old team to be reunited once again to play one last duel. I wished for that."

"And then the darkness twisted you so that was buried underneath the hate and anger," Radley said softly. "It's no wonder you were hurting so bad when you finally came back to yourself." He drew Kalin close in a hug. "You've still never had that dream of yours realized either."

Kalin leaned into his embrace and started to hug back. "No, but the old team did reunite," he smiled. "We all came back together right here. We beat Lawton and Barbara together . . . and then we all watched over you until you fought your way back to us."

"I'm probably a poor substitute for your old friends," Radley said ruefully.

Kalin's grip tightened. "You're not!" he insisted. "I care about you just as much as I do them."

"I guess sometimes that's still hard to believe," Radley admitted. "But then I've never had a friend who had other close friends before me. I was worried Yusei and the other guys would be jealous of me, but Yusei said they're not, and they've all been so nice. . . ."

Kalin smiled. "Yusei's not the jealous type. He's happy I've finally got my mind back and found a purpose again. And if part of that purpose is caring about a new friend, that's great too. Yusei just welcomed you in like another member of the family. That's what you are to him."

"It's meant a lot to me," Radley admitted. "I hope to get to know him better."

"He'd like that too," Kalin said. "So would I. We'll have to do something all together when there isn't a new crisis to solve."

"That would be a good idea, if we can," Radley said. "Yusei always seems to be very busy even during peaceful times."

"Yeah," Kalin said quietly. "I'm happy for him, though. He has a much more fulfilling life with his science projects than he would have had just being my right-hand man."

Radley frowned a bit. "Sharing your life with a loved one is very fulfilling too."

"It is," Kalin said.

"And you just admitted that was what you really wanted in life. Kalin . . ." Radley looked at him in concern. "You don't feel like Yusei deserves better than you, do you?"

". . . Sometimes I'm tempted to feel that way," Kalin admitted. "But when I do, it's not just confined to Yusei. I feel like you deserve better too. You have all the Bunch. What was it about me that possessed you to keep trying with me?"

Radley gave him a sad smile. "What is it that ever possesses anyone to try with somebody? I took a liking to you for a reason even I'm not sure of. It just felt right. Part of it was just wanting to be friendly with the hired help, of course, but I wanted you to be so much more than that. I always considered you one of the Bunch, even when you didn't want to accept that."

"I'm glad you did," Kalin said. He shook his head. "You know, I think we got on this subject because we were talking about our experiences in life with romance. We sure wandered off."

"Yeah. You said it never came up with you. Me, I always had it drilled into me about getting married and carrying on the family line, since I was an only child at that time." Radley laughed without real humor. "I guess my family wouldn't even want any kids from me now. And I wouldn't want them to grow up in that environment. The more I'm away from it, the more I realize how messed-up it was. Back then, you know, I didn't really have anything to compare it to and I thought it was normal."

Kalin stared at him. "Even you being locked in your room as punishment for anything you did they didn't like?!"

"Yeah." Radley's smile was still sad. "Pretty sad, huh?"

Kalin curled his hand around Radley's. "It is," he said darkly.

"It's okay," Radley said softly. "I know better now, and I'm fulfilled. I have a good life, finally. You're a big part of that."

"I'm glad," Kalin said. "I always knew the abuse I was taking wasn't normal when I saw how well Yusei, Jack, and Crow were treated by Martha. I wondered why I couldn't have someone nice like that."

"It wasn't fair you didn't," Radley said, protective anger flashing through his eyes.

"At least I do now," Kalin said. "That's the important thing."

"You've never had a decent parental figure, though," Radley said.

"By now I don't feel like I really need one, like you don't really feel you need romance," Kalin said. "I have what I want."

Radley smiled. "Good. I don't think I'd be much use as a parental figure in this case." He winked. "But if you did want one, I'm sure Klaus would oblige."

". . . I'll think about it," Kalin said.

Suddenly something Radley had said moments earlier finally processed. "Wait, do you have a sibling?" he asked in surprise. "You said you were an only child 'at that time.'"

Radley nodded. "For a while I tried to casually keep track of what my family was doing," he said. "About a year after I was kicked out, I saw in the newspaper that my mother had had another kid, a boy." His eyes darkened. "I'd wanted a sibling so bad growing up so I wouldn't feel so alone, but she always said she only ever planned on one kid and she wasn't gonna change her mind just because I wanted one. When I saw the article, I knew—I'd literally been replaced."

Kalin stared at him. "Radley, I'm so sorry."

Radley sighed. "I'm still not sure what upsets me more, that they threw me away so fast and focused on getting a replacement, or that now some other poor kid is growing up the same way I did. I can't deny part of me sometimes wants to just take the Bunch and ride out there and bring him back with us. But of course that'd only get all of us in trouble with the law and I don't want to do that to the guys. I don't really want to go to jail myself either."

"None of you should go to jail," Kalin agreed. "Maybe that kid even likes growing up rich in spite of the problems such as people wanting to befriend him just for his money."

"I have to admit, I don't think he's much like me," Radley said. "Once I secretly hired a private detective to just watch him for a while and see what he was like. I thought maybe if I could get proof that he was being mistreated, I could launch a case to try to get legal custody of him. But from the reports and videos I got back, the kid sounds pretty spoiled. Which isn't good either. I kind of think my dad put his foot down and said they'd been too strict with me and that was why I'd rebelled, and he thought being less uptight might make my brother ultimately stay in line."

"That would make sense," Kalin admitted. "Although they'll probably end up with other problems by being too permissive."

"Yeah, I know." Radley smirked a bit. "And I guess it's awful of me, but I kind of like that."

"I doubt there's anyone here who would fault you," Kalin said. "They're terrible parents. Things shouldn't work out for them."

Radley chuckled and relaxed back against Kalin. "And now I've got all the brothers I could ever want."

Kalin smiled and hugged him close. "Me too." Hesitating briefly, he added, "And you've got a friend for life."

Radley clasped his hand. "Same here," he smiled.