#77 - Nightmare

Never Had I Imagined Living Without Your Smile

Segment Notes: I really wanted to make this piece longer, but it said it wanted to be short. I'm not sure why I wanted to write this. I probably got inspired by something, maybe an It's a Miracle segment. I bawled writing Kalin's nightmare, even though I knew all along it was a nightmare! The sweet cuteness afterwards was very satisfying.

Kalin didn't know how long he had been forlornly sitting next to the bed in the castle room, staring at Radley's waterlogged and motionless body. He looked like he was asleep, that any moment he would wake up, but Kalin knew the truth. He never could. His was an endless sleep. Lawton had forced him to sacrifice himself to save Kalin and the others, and he had done it despite his fear. Kalin had continued to hold out a faint hope until Radley's body had washed ashore and Kalin had tried in vain to revive him. There was no more hope now.

Sweet sleep, my dark angel. . . .

Kalin frowned a bit. "Dark angel" didn't really fit one as full of light and love as Radley had been. But he had enjoyed wearing black and he certainly was a bit of a rebel, so maybe it fit on some level.

"Kalin?"

Kalin looked up with a start and a vain hope. Radley was still laying lifeless on the bed. But a translucent him was standing in front of Kalin with a sad smile.

Kalin's heart sank. "Radley . . ." He got up, reaching for his friend. Of course, he couldn't touch him.

Radley laid an energy-filled hand on Kalin's shoulder anyway. "I'm sorry."

"No. . . ." Kalin placed his hand on top of Radley's. "This isn't right. You should be able to live! I . . . can't let you go. . . ."

"They won't let me stay," Radley said sadly. He pointed to several angels at the back of the room, standing at what looked like the bottom of a path going upward. "At least . . . I'm going to Heaven. . . ."

"But it shouldn't be time yet!" Kalin objected. "You're still young! You should be able to live, to stay with me . . . and the Bunch . . . and everyone else. . . ." He stared helplessly at his friend. "What am I going to tell them?"

"Tell them . . . I did what I had to do," Radley said softly. "And I'm going to miss them all so much. And you. . . . I'll try to get them to let me be your guardian angel so I can be around. . . ."

"But . . . if I can't hear you or see you . . . it won't be the same." Kalin's voice cracked.

"I know." Radley stepped back. "You've been such a dear friend to me, Kalin. I'll never forget that. And please . . . don't forget me. Someday we'll be together again. . . ." Now his voice cracked. "But I don't know when. . . ." He sighed heavily. "Goodbye. . . . I love you. . . ."

Kalin watched Radley walk over to the angels until the scene faded from his sight. Then he collapsed to his knees, digging his hands into his hair as he sobbed.

xxxx

Kalin jumped a mile in the bed. He stayed a moment, gasping, clutching the covers as his breathing slowed back to normal. Just a dream . . . just another nightmare to add to the list. . . . God's angel had brought Radley back to life, not taken him away. Radley was indeed supposed to live, and hopefully for a very long time.

He looked over at the other side of the twin bed. Radley was sleeping very close to the edge, hugging the pillow. The bed was more comfortable than the couch, so they had taken to trying to rest together like that when they felt they needed it. Despite the months that had passed since Radley's sacrifice saving everyone from Lawton, sometimes they did still need the sweet comfort staying together at night brought.

Kalin moved closer. He needed the assurance that Radley was still alive, even though he knew it very well. He could see the older man's shoulder rising and falling as he breathed. He was alive. He was fine.

Kalin settled back down, closer to Radley this time. He sleepily drew an arm around his friend and relaxed into the pillow. Sleep wasn't very appealing right now; he might only slip into another nightmare. But being able to constantly feel Radley breathing was lulling him back to slumber. He rested his cheek against Radley's head as he dozed.

"I love you," he whispered in Radley's ear. In his nightmare, he hadn't even said it when Radley had. He had been too heartbroken and shaken to even think about it until it was too late. Radley surely knew it anyway, or Kalin hoped he did. He would tell him again later, when they were both awake.

Radley stirred a bit later. "Kalin? . . ." He looked over his shoulder. Kalin seemed peaceful. Smiling, Radley laid a hand over Kalin's. "I love you too, bro," he said softly as he fell asleep again. He wasn't going anywhere.