What's your favorite thing to do to relax?

I think I was born tense. I'm not sure I've ever felt relaxed, maybe you think that's impossible but when I look back on my life and I try to remember a time when I just took time out and let everything else go; I come up empty.

In college I tried to go with the flow, do the party thing that my friends raved about, I'd drink a little flirt with some girls and then go home and study because I had to make good grades and had to get into med school. If you're at a party to relax and all you think about is everything you have to do when you get home does that even count as trying? Med school was the same thing.

Or maybe I know that if I give in and take the easy way, if I drown myself in something that will make everything else fade away, I'll be just like him. Don't get me wrong I drink, I drink on planes when I'm stressed out and I certainly drink when I'm worried about something or mulling over a personal problem but I see what it did to my father. He drank himself to death and I saw it coming a long time before he disappeared the first time. This last time he just didn't make it back.

So I can't and won't give into the one thing that might actually loosen me up a bit. Still, I stick by the thought that I was born tense.