#95 - How Far We've Come
We're a Miracle
Segment Notes: I just love this fic so much. It's such an adorable squeefest. I've had most of it done for a long time, but it fits the 5Ds Month's August 4th theme of Planetary Gears so well, I had to add a little more directly inspired by the prompt so I could submit it for that.
Radley stirred, sleepily rolling over to look up at Kalin. They had fallen asleep on the couch again, with Radley using Kalin's lap as a pillow. Kalin still seemed to be asleep, resting one hand on Radley's shoulder. When he rolled over, the hand limply fell to Kalin's side.
Radley chuckled softly. Kalin could fall asleep and stay asleep in all manner of odd positions, and he didn't mind being used as a pillow—at least, not if it was Radley doing it. Or his oldest friends; he had mentioned him and Yusei falling asleep in weird positions at times too.
Sometimes it still seemed unreal that Kalin cared so much about him now. But the person who had repeatedly spurned Radley's attempts to be friendly was certainly not who Kalin currently was. Even that person had tried to help him at times, although he hadn't seemed to care about Radley personally and definitely hadn't wanted to be friends. And Kalin now . . . well, he not only wanted to help Radley and to be friends, but he couldn't stand when anything happened to hurt Radley.
Radley in turn couldn't take Kalin being harmed. Of course, he was devastated for any of his family to be injured, but thinking he had lost Kalin had been absolutely crushing in a way he had never expected to feel considering their rocky beginning. Now he couldn't imagine life without Kalin. He didn't want to.
Maybe it was because of what had finally brought them together that had bonded them so closely. Kalin had been the one who had tirelessly stayed by his side, fighting for him to get better even when it had seemed hopeless and even when Radley himself had lost all hope. Of course, the Bunch would have been there had they known. They had still thought Radley was dead. But it had stunned Radley to the nth degree to discover that what he had thought were delusions in his mind had been real and Kalin desperately wanted him to live. For Kalin to care about him so deeply when he previously hadn't seemed to, it had given Radley the strength he finally needed to pull away from the brink of death and fully come back to life. And for them both, it had cemented their bond forever.
Kalin had been the main one nursing him back to physical health too, although the Bunch had also certainly helped. Those weeks had mostly been sweet and soothing, a balm for all of them. There had been a few awkward and embarrassing moments—especially Radley falling in the shower for a second time since meeting Kalin, this time without a shower curtain draped over him to give him some dignity. But Kalin had been kind and brought him a towel and then lifted him out when he had been covered.
Radley hoped that he was as good for Kalin as Kalin was for him. He always tried to be friendly and supportive, as he had been from the beginning, but now Kalin accepted it, unlike before. Kalin had greatly relaxed and opened up, and he definitely seemed to enjoy Radley's company. They got along very well now that they understood each other and often talked for hours about deep subjects. Naturally they didn't agree on everything, but they could disagree gracefully instead of Kalin being rude and up and walking out.
He slowly started to sit up, and to his surprise, Kalin reached and pulled him close in an embrace even in his sleep. Radley placed his hands on Kalin's shoulders. "Kalin?!"
Kalin smiled a bit as he opened his eyes. "Hello."
Radley chuckled. So he had been awake. "Hey."
Kalin let him go. "What time is it?"
Radley looked at the clock. "It's late. We still need more sleep."
"I'm going to see if sleeping in the bed works this time," Kalin said. "Maybe there won't be any nightmares tonight."
"I hope not." But Radley paused as he started to get up. "Kalin . . . I do more for you than just causing you to have nightmares, don't I?"
Kalin stared at him. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, losing me hurt you so much that you started giving in to hate out of grief, and now that you have me back, we're always having nightmares about what happened. . . . I guess I just worriedly wonder if there's really been positive feelings from knowing me."
"Of course there are," Kalin frowned. "I wouldn't even be having such strong negative reactions if knowing you hadn't brought so much to my life."
That did make sense, but Radley still felt the need to ask, "Such as?"
"Such as someone who is always around. Someone I can share anything with," Kalin said. "Someone I can fully be myself with. Someone who has seen my worst and still recognizes my potential for the best."
"That would mostly be Yusei too," Radley said, "aside from the 'always around' part."
"Yes. Yusei will always be deeply special to me," Kalin said. "We have a bond nothing can break, not even my descent into darkness. It's rare to have one person like that, and I'm blessed to have more. But Yusei and I . . . seem to want different things out of life. He always has so much to do in the City. On the other hand, you and I . . . our paths seem to lead in the same direction. And that kind of shared life forges a deeply strong bond as well."
Radley smiled a bit. "I'm glad. I hope it will always be that way."
"I think it will be," Kalin said. "Neither of us have a reason to move away from Satisfaction Town. Our lives are right here."
"That's true," Radley agreed.
"And now that we understand each other, we've bonded so closely," Kalin added. "Our different personalities complement each other instead of repelling each other. That's just like it was among all of the Enforcers. We were meant to be together, no matter what Yusei says about destiny not existing. And it's the same with you and me."
"I'm glad you feel that way," Radley said. "I certainly do." He laughed. "Although when we first met, I wasn't sure about any of that. Yes, we certainly repelled each other then."
"That was my fault," Kalin said. "But it's rectified now."
"Yes, it is," Radley smiled. "I couldn't ask for a better friend."
"I couldn't either. I can still hardly believe my good fortune in having so many." Kalin paused, seeming to be debating with himself to find the right words before continuing, "The most important thing you've brought to me is love. I know that's also something I always have with Yusei as well, but each person's love is different and just as important and valued. When I decided to settle in here after Lawton's defeat, I secretly wanted a friend in town. Incredibly, you became that friend. During all this time we've shared together, you showed me how to love again after I was filled with first hatred and then indifference. You were willing to forgive and even to love me after all the times I hurt you. That's not a small thing. And I love you . . . so much." He reached up, brushing Radley's hair away from his right eye to see it better.
Radley smiled, taking Kalin's hand between his. It was the first time Kalin had actually said the words when they were both fully awake, but he had already shown his feelings by his actions. Still, this was a deeply special moment Radley would always cherish.
"I love you too," he said. "I didn't even think that could happen when you didn't like me before at all."
Kalin certainly hadn't either. Radley had tried to keep liking him anyway, but he had been so deeply hurt and the continued rejections had been a knife in his heart every day.
"I really did come to care about you in spite of myself," he admitted. "But I didn't let myself recognize it. I'm not even sure I was capable of recognizing it. When I finally got my mind clear and realized at last, I thought it was too late." He had been staring down at Radley's dead body when the memories and feelings had washed over him in full force and he had finally processed everything clearly, not through the fog and walls of depression. He had been gut-punched like that only twice before: when he had thought Yusei had betrayed him, and when he had his mind clear from the Dark Signers' poison.
"I did too," Radley said. "But we were both wrong."
Kalin drew him close again and hugged him tenderly. Radley settled into his embrace and returned it with a smile. That they could have gone from Kalin's apathy and dislike and Radley's hurt to this always amazed him.
"Never wonder again if you've been good for me," Kalin whispered in his ear. "You have been. So much."
"Thank you," Radley softly whispered.
