I thought I knew loyalty. It was almost predisposed between the survivors; I expected it even after Sawyer showed us all that loyalty and survival were not mutually exclusive. When you crash land on an island and the world you live in turns out to be really strange you find that you do have loyalties and you slowly begin to realize where they lie.
All of that changed when Michael came back. Here was a man who I'd taken off head first into the jungle to find. I'd put my life in danger – along with Sawyer's life and John's life. Kate was captured and they held a gun to her throat, used her as a bargaining tool against us. All of that for Michael and Walt. There was a kind of relief that came over me when Michael stumbled into the clearing where Kate and I sat – though a little frustration was also present. He was alive and the worry about his safety faded away. We trusted him. It was Michael, he'd built the raft, made sure the caves were ok and we had no reason not to trust him.
Only we didn't have a reason to trust him beyond the camaraderie all of us had come to have over the past two months. The trust we put in him he betrayed, more than betrayed he obliterated it to pieces, thousands of tiny pieces. He murdered Ana-Lucia and Libby in cold blood and then he lied about it. He watched us all worrying about Henry getting away and coming back to get us. He watched us grieve for these people who we barely knew and he pretended like he just wanted to get his son. He did just want to get his son and he didn't care who he hurt in the process.
I can't understand what it's like to loose a child, to have them ripped out of your arms. I can't understand that, but I can try. I know it has to be horrible, the feelings of powerlessness, the way you can't stop thinking about the person. I've never lost a child but I've lost people close to me, I've had to watch helplessly as people I cared about were hurt and taken from me. It doesn't excuse murder.
And then, he leads us directly into a trap. He makes sure Kate, Sawyer, Hurley and I are exactly where the others want us. He literally turned us over to them. I had to watch as he and Walt sailed off in the sunset and as Hurley was set free and struggled to decide what to do. I was there on my knees with a gag in my mouth and I nodded at Hurley that he should go, do what they told him to because otherwise I was afraid they'd kill him; if they weren't planning it to begin with. I watched as they put a ratty bag over Kate's head and I realized that there are no loyalties on this island.
There is only survival.
