#65 - Hand

Unwanted Attention

Segment Notes: XenoEmblemFTW musing with me about Kalin probably getting hit on by drunk people made me ponder that Radley likely has the same problem from time to time. He is gorgeous; naturally people in his world would notice. This was fun to write. He is so funny, especially in the English dub, and it's one of the things I love most about him. But I don't get to explore that side of him too much, since it usually only comes out when he's with someone who is highly irritating him.

Radley was a very good-looking man. Of course, everyone in town knew it, including Radley himself. It wasn't unusual for him to have to fend off unwanted advances from both townsfolk and visitors alike, but after the number of years he had been in town it was more usual from visitors who didn't know him.

"You're a real cutie," one drunk woman slurred when he dropped by the saloon to check on things during his nightly rounds.

"Ooh, yes, I know," he quipped.

The woman goofily smiled, wobbling on the barstool as she reached to drape an arm around Radley's shoulders. "You wanna come back to my hotel room and we can get to know each other better?"

"No, thank you," Radley replied. "I'm very busy tonight, sadly."

Kalin entered just as the woman stood and started to move her hand down Radley's back. "Good, strong shoulders, perfectly straight spine . . ."

Only Kalin could see how Radley was starting to tense with the unwanted touches. Outwardly he was still smiling and taking it, but he had just about reached his limit. He was reaching behind himself to take her hand away.

Before he could, the woman's hand came to rest on his backside. "Oh, this is nice too," she purred.

Radley flinched. He grabbed her hand, lifting it high in the air. "Yes, and completely off-limits," he said. "Lookie-lookie, but don't touch. You've had far too much to drink tonight. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to come with me and sleep it off behind bars."

She didn't even looked fazed. "I'm going to jail? Sure!" She cuddled close to him, trying to run her other hand along his chest.

Radley shot Kalin a look of disgust at the fondling before taking both her wrists and pulling them behind her back to handcuff her. "You won't find it so fun when you're actually there," he remarked. "I won't be getting in the cell with you."

"Aww," she pouted. Again she tried to snuggle Radley, but he got behind her and walked with his arms fully extended, grasping her upper arms to keep her far in front of him. He recited the Miranda Rights, to which she just purred at the sound of his "beautiful" voice.

Kalin hurried over to the scene. "I can take over from here," he offered.

Radley smiled. "I would appreciate it," he said.

The woman looked at Kalin as he stepped into Radley's place. "Oh, you're cute too," she said. "I've really hit the jackpot in this town. I might just stay a while."

Kalin gave Radley a pained look. Radley had to chuckle. "I'm not sure you could afford all the charges that might be lobbed against you if you're always so familiar with people after a few drinkies," he said.

Finally out of things to say, the woman just shrugged and looked confused.

It was a relief to both men when they had her successfully behind bars in the town jail. They promptly escaped to give her some private time and to preserve their sanity.

"Oh brother," Radley sighed. He leaned against the outside wall with a shudder and folded his arms. "It's been a while since I had to deal with one like that."

"Did that happen a lot when Malcolm was here?" Kalin wondered.

"Sometimes," Radley said. "I've had both girls and guys hitting on me before. Malcolm would get jealous that they'd pick me," he giggled. He sighed and sobered. "I could have done without it, of course."

"Of course," Kalin grunted. "You handled it well, though."

"Yeah, I always try to stay calm, even when they really start touching where they shouldn't." Radley pressed himself harder against the wall. "I hate that."

"Most people wouldn't like random strangers doing that," Kalin said. "Or anyone else." He looked chagrined. "I'm sorry about what happened the other night."

Radley chuckled softly. Since they often dozed off together on the couch or a bed when they wanted companionship and comfort from their frequent nightmares, it wasn't at all unusual to wake up in bizarre positions they hadn't intended on at all. In the incident Kalin was remembering, he had dozed off hugging Radley and had awakened to Radley trying to push Kalin's hand away when it had dropped a little too low on his back for comfort.

"It's fine," Radley insisted. "You didn't mean to, and I trust you completely. It probably happens to people all the time if they fall asleep in the same location."

"Maybe," Kalin said. But he clearly still felt embarrassed and guilty about it anyway.

Radley pushed away from the wall and draped an arm around Kalin's shoulders. "I don't think anything of it," he soothed. "It could have easily happened the other way around. . . . Actually, it still could. I apologize in advance if I ever put my hand where I shouldn't in my sleep."

Kalin finally cracked a smirk. "Your apology is accepted in advance."

"Good," Radley smiled. "Then let's go meet the Bunch for dinner, shall we? Dealing with miscreants and lawbreakers makes me hungry."

"That sounds good to me," Kalin agreed, and they headed off down the street together.