#75 - Doesn't Matter

Time is Healing

Segment Notes: Ever since I wrote the original shower rescue story, which takes place before the Crash Town arc, I've wanted to also write one taking place after, to show Kalin being kind and concerned. I decided to set it during the point when Radley is recovering from what he suffered in the mines, since I don't explore that era much. Some inspiration in Kalin's first monologue is taken from RPs with MoonlightTyger.

Radley had been recovering well from being tortured in the mines. Kalin and the Bunch had all thrown themselves wholeheartedly into helping him around the clock, wanting to make up for all that they had done to hurt him when he had desperately needed them with him. He appreciated it with all his heart, but he also wanted to get well enough to not be a burden. He wasn't used to being looked after; for so long now, he had been the one looking after others.

Of course, for the Bunch's parts, they were honored to have another chance to return all of Radley's kindnesses by helping him as they wished they had done before. Kalin felt the same. Radley had been lost to them and now he was found and home safe.

After all their troubles getting along before, it seemed strange and wonderful and amazing that Radley and Kalin got along so well now. They had slipped into sharing a home so easily and naturally while Radley recovered. They had already discovered a lot of each other's quirks during the bad months, and what they hadn't known before seemed easy to deal with after the painful weeks of misunderstanding each other. He wanted to ask Kalin to stay on, but he also dreaded the possibility of being turned down, so he had said nothing yet. Still, it wasn't usual for him to be quiet about something he wanted and he fully intended to speak up about it. He wanted Kalin to know how much it meant to him.

He had been sitting in the tub with these thoughts. Out of necessity he had been sitting down for showers lately. Really, though, he felt strong enough to stand. He was tired of sitting like an invalid. He was a strong young man; he could get up. At least, he hoped so. Holding on to the side of the tub and the wall for balance, he pulled himself upright and stepped closer to the shower. That felt much better. He let the water pound against him for a few minutes before turning to let it cascade over his back.

At first that was fine too. But when he tried to move just slightly to let the water hit him from another angle, the slippery surface of the tub got the better of him. He screamed, falling backwards as his legs flew out from under him.

xxxx

Kalin had been in his room while all that was going on. He had never owned much, and when he had moved in, it had been a simple room with little in it that Radley hadn't included from before it became Kalin's room. But Radley and the Bunch and the kids were all very generous and had tried to help Kalin find things he liked to populate the room with. Now he had such amenities as a boombox, a record player, and the start of a music collection.

He smiled as he ran his hand over the CDs. It was so unusual that it still felt odd, like that this couldn't really be his room and his belongings. And yet at the same time, it felt so natural to be there. It had become home. Radley had shown how much he loved having Kalin there, and it was definitely his real feelings and not a facade. Kalin was welcome and wanted. Part of him still felt he didn't deserve it, but he was so moved and touched that he wanted to embrace it anyway.

He wondered now how he had ever thought Radley was a cold and heartless person. With his mind clear, he saw Radley was compassionate and thoughtful, and his opinion of his new friend only increased as the days went by. Radley was friendly and welcoming and just so happy to be cared about. They spent hours talking and making plans for improving Satisfaction Town, as they had renamed it. Radley's ideas were good and sound. Kalin had to admit he was both a good leader and an intelligent businessman. Working with him was altogether stimulating and fun. Kalin had had so many ideas on how to help the Satellite, and some of them had worked, but everything had sadly turned upsidedown when Kalin had let his desire for power get the better of him. Radley seemed to be more grounded and level-headed, in spite of his love of money. Kalin was happy now to follow his lead.

He jumped a mile when he heard the scream and the crash. In an instant he ran for the door, unpleasant flashbacks going through his mind. Radley had fallen in the shower once in the past, after an argument over Kalin's then-bad opinions of Radley. Kalin had helped him then, but he had been cold and Radley had been very hurt. It still haunted Kalin now. And the crash was all too familiar. It sounded much as it had back then.

He hurried to the bathroom and knocked on the door. "Radley?!"

No response, but he could hear the shower running.

Kalin pushed the door open. It was a relief that Radley never locked it, out of trust.

He flinched at the sight that met his eyes. Radley had fallen back in the tub, which was swiftly filling with water. His head was back against the front of the tub, while his left arm hung limply over the side. He was not conscious.

Alarmed, Kalin ran over and turned off the water before reaching to feel for a pulse. Radley was definitely still breathing, but he should be conscious too. For him to not be, he might have hit his head upon falling backwards.

Kalin's hands shook a bit as he felt through Radley's wet hair. It wasn't long before he discovered the painful bump. He flinched. Radley didn't react.

Kalin didn't bother to get a towel before reaching into the water and lifting his friend out. Radley would probably feel vulnerable to be seen naked and injured, but Kalin was too concerned to help him to worry about that. He did, however, balance Radley against him while grabbing a towel on their way out. He would need to dry Radley off.

He went into Radley's room and spread the towel down while still holding Radley in one arm. Then he laid the older man down in the middle of it and took the ends of the towel to rub over his body.

It chilled Kalin as he worked with the towel. It was impossible not to think about the other time Radley had fallen and how hurt he had been by Kalin's behavior. Even in spite of his injuries from being attacked by Malcolm's Crew and then falling in the shower, he had struggled to get up and tend to a wound Kalin had discovered on himself. Kalin had carried him back to bed and had started to realize that maybe Radley was nice, and yet it hadn't affected Kalin's attitude towards Radley later, when they had been taken to the mines. Kalin wanted to make up for all of that now. Radley was kind and good; he deserved to be treated as such.

Kalin gently turned Radley onto his side to dry along his back. After he did, he worriedly checked the bump again. This time Radley flinched when Kalin touched the spot, in spite of not being awake.

"I'm sorry," Kalin told him. "Radley, can you hear me?"

Radley gave a weak groan. "Kalin . . . you rescued me again?"

"Yes. Are you alright?!" Kalin demanded.

"I've been better," Radley said. "But I've been worse too." He opened his eyes, squinting at Kalin.

"What were you doing trying to stand up in the tub?!" Kalin exclaimed.

". . . I thought I was well enough," Radley mumbled. He paused as the situation really sank in. "So . . . this time I didn't have a fallen shower curtain to hide me, did I?" He managed a smirk.

"It shouldn't matter," Kalin said. "It doesn't to me. All I cared about was making sure you were safe." He smirked too, hoping to set Radley at ease. "But if you're worried about me seeing, you have nothing to be embarrassed about."

Radley smirked more. "Oh, I know that," he said. "It's just that I like to choose when to display it."

Kalin laid a hand on Radley's shoulder and got up to get some clothes for him out of the drawer. In spite of the crack, Kalin knew now that the rest of the story was that Radley was too conservative to ever choose to "display" himself publicly or privately. He wasn't an exhibitionist, and he had previously told Kalin he was a virgin. Kalin had believed him even under the burden of depression. He believed it all the more now.

Radley tried to sit up but sank back into the softness of the bed. "You dried me off too, huh?" he noted.

"I couldn't dress you without doing that first," Kalin said. "That's alright, isn't it?"

"No one's done that since I was a kid," Radley remarked. "I thought I'd be embarrassed and feel vulnerable, but . . . when it's you, I don't." He smiled. "You're family, Kalin. And now you actually want to be. If you have to see me like this, I'm glad it was now and not when we first met."

Kalin smiled too, touched. "Now that you're awake, do you want to try dressing yourself?" He brought the clothes over.

"Yeah." Radley reached for the boxer shorts. "But . . . hey, Kalin . . . thank you. You've really been here for me ever since what happened in the mines, and that's meant so much to me."

"I'm doing what I should have done all along," Kalin said.

"I wished you'd care," Radley said softly. "It means so much that you do." He managed to get the shorts on and then rested for a moment before trying the sleep pants.

Kalin was relieved that in spite of the bump, Radley seemed to be doing better now than when he had fallen the other time. Apparently he wasn't hurt as badly this time. Or . . . maybe it was knowing Kalin cared that gave him more strength? Kalin might have scoffed, except he knew how much it had meant to Radley after his death in the mines. Realizing Kalin actually did care about him had given him enough fight to struggle to live. Apparently what Kalin thought was of extreme importance.

When Radley finally had all his clothes on, he threw the wet towel across the room at the hamper and then laid back down. Kalin came over closer to him.

"You have a really bad bump," he said. "I should probably have the doctor come over."

"Maybe so," Radley said. "I think I'll be okay with rest, though."

Kalin was pretty sure of it too, especially as Radley seemed so perked up. "Is there anything I can get you?" he asked.

"Just being here is good," Radley said. "I've been getting well a lot faster because of you and the Bunch taking care of me."

"I know," Kalin smiled.

Radley reached and laid a hand on Kalin's. "Thank you." He clearly meant for more than rescuing him from the shower, although he was including that as well.

Kalin rested his other hand on top of Radley's. "Of course."

"I really like you being here, you know," Radley said.

"I like being here," Kalin admitted. "I once never thought I would, but I do."

". . . I know this'll probably sound loco, but in one way I almost dread getting completely better, if that means I'll be alone again," Radley confessed. "I . . . really don't want to be alone."

". . . I don't either," Kalin said. "I thought before that I deserved it, and that everyone would be better off without me around. I'd forgotten how good it feels to have a loved one right here. Now that I've experienced that again, the thought of going back to solitude is . . . hard to take. I don't know if I'm strong enough for that."

"Well . . . there is a solution for that." Radley laid back on the pillow and smiled up at Kalin. "You really don't have to leave, if you don't want to."

Kalin smiled too, but looked awed and disbelieving. "You really want me, personally, to stay on?"

"Kalin . . . how many times and ways do I have to say it?" Radley chuckled in exasperation. "Yes,I want you, personally, to stay on! Not just so I won't be alone, but because I really like your company."

". . . Then I'll stay." Kalin found his voice growing thick. He was wanted, and by one of the people he had deeply hurt. That would never not be amazing to him, no matter how many times Radley said it. It was still hard to believe of Yusei as well.

"Good." Radley rose up enough to draw Kalin into a sweet hug. "We're a dynamite team, just like I always knew we could be."

And even though Kalin wasn't much on hugs yet, he slowly curled his arms around Radley and hugged him close.

"Yes," he said. "We are."