#56 - One Dream
I Walked With You Once Upon a Dream
Segment Notes: I got obsessed with the song Once Upon a Dream. One trope I love is characters actually dreaming about each other before encountering each other. And this happened.
Scotch's concerts were legendary. The whole town loved them and he loved putting them together. He also loved getting his friends to take part. Radley was expecting to be asked to sing in the latest one, but he wasn't expecting exactly what Scotch would ask.
"I've just had the most epic idea!" Scotch exclaimed to Radley and Kalin. "You guys should sing a duet of Once Upon a Dream!"
Two blank stares.
"You want us to sing what?" Kalin grunted.
"I've heard some amazing duets, but not any with two guys singing it!" Scotch said.
Radley had to quirk an eyebrow. "And do you know why you've never heard two guys singing it?"
Scotch sighed. "Because it's not manly? Aww, come on! Just give it a try! I know you'd make it sound amazing! And there's actually nowhere in the song that insists the love is romantic! It could be anything!"
"Hmm." Radley pondered, running the lyrics through his mind. "You know, you're right." He looked to Kalin, who shrugged.
"If you want to try it, I'll go along," Kalin said.
Radley smiled. "How about we try singing it in private at home first?" he suggested. "If we're comfortable with it, we'll sing it for your concert, Scotch."
"Works for me!" Scotch grinned.
xxxx
He was running through an endless pitch-black fog, panic-stricken, surrounded by the sound of his demonic, twisted Dark Signer laughter. It didn't matter how far he ran; he could never outrun it or himself.
The floor gave way, sending him falling with a scream, down, down . . . until he crashed on a darkened floor. Black boots stepped out of the darkness and stood in front of him. He looked up, past the black boots, the leather pants and jacket, and the jet-black hair. The person moved, his pale skin a sharp contrast to all the black.
"Oi! Hola, Kalin Kessler. You're late."
"Late?" Incredulous, Kalin started to push himself up. This mysterious person had come out of the darkness around them, but he himself was not a dark being. There was nothing twisted or evil in his aura.
The man held out a black-gloved hand. "I've been waiting for you for fifteen years."
Slowly Kalin reached out, accepting the stranger's hand. As he did, he caught the spark in the deep green eyes. A familiar spark. . . .
"I know you," he whispered.
Then he woke up.
xxxx
Kalin stirred, opening bleary eyes to the new day . . . or to the middle of the night, as it turned out. It was still dark outsidethe curtains, and inside, Radley was sleeping peacefully next to Kalin, turned away as he hugged the pillow close to him.
Kalin looked over at him, his long blue hair slipping around his shoulders when he moved. At first Radley didn't react, but then he turned, rolling onto his back to look up at his friend. "Hello," he smiled.
"Hello," Kalin returned. Radley always spoke perfect English, but he had a soft, sometimes barely perceptible Spanish accent from living with his bilingual family growing up. He could thicken it if he chose, usually only if he was angry or if he wanted to mess with a racist person's head. Or both.
"What are you thinking about so early?" Radley asked.
Kalin shook his head. "It will sound crazy."
"After all we've been through?" Radley scoffed.
Kalin cracked a smirk, but soon sobered. "Radley, I . . . I don't know how this will sound, especially after we've just come from what Scotch wants us to do, but . . . before we met here in Satisfaction Town, I used to have a dream a lot. I was running, trying to outrun my dark self even though I couldn't. Then I fell through the floor and landed at someone's feet. He came out of the darkness and told me I was late. He said he'd been waiting for me for fifteen years. Somehow I knew he was good, that he was repelling the darkness. He held out a hand and I took it, and I caught a familiar gleam in his eyes. I said I knew him." He drew a deep breath. "I only realized much later that it was you, even though I still couldn't make sense out of what he said to me."
Radley had gone sheet-white during the retelling of the dream. Now he sat up, looking shaken and troubled and not sure what to think. "Kalin," he finally said, "the fifteen years was how long it was between when we met as kids and when we met as adults. And . . ." He stared into Kalin's eyes. "I used to have the same dream."
Kalin froze. "What?!"
"Well, mine was about me wandering through the darkness until I stepped out to find you kneeling in a single spotlight," Radley said. "You looked up at me and said I was late and that you'd been waiting for me for fifteen years. You reached out for me and I took your hand. Something about your eyes looked familiar to me and I said I knew you. And I woke up."
Kalin just stared and shook his head. "That's . . . that's unreal. . . ."
"I had it off and on up until you came to me," Radley said. "And if I'm honest with you and with myself, when we met when you wanted a job, I felt like I knew you from somewhere. You didn't show up clearly in my dream and I didn't associate you with the kid I still missed, so I couldn't place you at first, but . . . something about you still felt familiar."
". . . Something about you did too," Kalin admitted. "In my state of mind I didn't care and I brushed it off, just figuring it was a sign that you would help me die, but . . ." He shuddered. "If I'd only listened, maybe you wouldn't have died in the mines. . . ."
"You know," Radley mused, "our dream selves each said the other was late. Maybe we were supposed to have stayed in touch after meeting as kids. Maybe things would have gone the same as in that alternate world you saw or maybe not." He smiled sadly. "But either way, I know my life would have been better had you been in it sooner."
Kalin nodded. "I feel the same. When we met as kids, I looked at you and I felt like I'd finally found my brother. The loneliness and emptiness were gone. I just wanted to be with you forever. When you had to leave, I felt my whole world shattering. I wanted to give you my address, but I was too young to really know it yet. No one had tried to teach it to me."
"I wanted to give you mine, even though I doubted you could write yet," Radley said. "I was trying to, but my grandmother grabbed me and pulled me away. At least I was able to give you that card. . . ."
"And I cherished it," Kalin said. "I went out to the airfield every day, hoping you'd come back."
"When we came home, we flew over Satellite and I looked down, wondering where you were," Radley said. "I wanted to go down and find you, but of course my grandmother wouldn't hear of it."
Kalin sighed. "So many factors made it almost impossible to stay in touch back then. And those dreams . . . was that Fate or God or our hearts calling out to each other?"
"Or maybe all of it?" Radley mused.
Kalin suddenly looked sickened. He turned away, starting to climb off the bed.
Radley looked to him in surprise. "Hey, Kalin, what's . . ."
"Our hearts called out to each other . . . I still wanted you back so badly . . . but then when we finally met, I didn't recognize you and I treated you like dirt!" Kalin covered his face with a shaking hand. "I just abandoned you in the mines!"
Sorrow and understanding filled Radley's eyes. "Oh Kalin. . . ." He hugged Kalin from behind as the man sobbed. Words would not help this time, so Radley stayed silent and just held his friend close until the tears subsided. Radley shed a few himself, more for Kalin than for the memories of his own anguish and grief.
Finally Kalin sank harder against Radley in sad resignation. "You and Yusei . . . and everyone . . . you're all better than I could ever deserve," he said. "How can any of you forgive me and want anything to do with me?"
"I wish you could see yourself the way we see you," Radley said softly.
"What do you see in me now?" Kalin asked.
"I see a man whose life has almost always been about pain," Radley said. "He hurt so much because he loved so much, and he could never find relief. Think about it—all of your sorrow and grief, even the anger and rage and giving in to the darkness—was all because of your love and your need to be loved. You loved the people and the Satellite itself and you couldn't stand for them to be mistreated. The thought of being alone, of your dearest friend betraying you, absolutely broke you. You gave in to the darkness only because you wanted to see him and the others again. It was the darkness that twisted your mind and your goals. You never wanted to hurt them. You could never want that, because your heart is too pure. And when you came back to yourself and realized what the darkness caused you to do, you couldn't bear it. You had hurt the people you love and that was unacceptable. You couldn't live with yourself."
"I don't know how to live with myself now, either," Kalin said.
"No, but at least now you have a better understanding of why you caused so much hurt. With me, it was because of your mental state when we met. That was the only reason why you treated me the way you did. Your mind is clearer now, but you still can't deal with what you did. At least, though, you know you're still loved and that I could never stand it without you." Radley brushed Kalin's hair away from his face.
"Yes. And I still want to be with you, and the others. But . . . after everything, is that too selfish a wish?" Kalin frowned.
"No, of course not! Especially not when it's what I want too." Radley smirked a bit. "I know it's not what's usually taught, but sometimes, being a little selfish is really what's best for everyone. It all depends on the circumstances and the people involved."
"I still feel like I don't deserve to have anything I want," Kalin said. "But . . . I like the way you see me, even if I'm having trouble seeing myself the same way right now."
"Maybe in time," Radley soothed. "That you're willing to listen and consider it is a start."
Kalin sighed and rested against Radley's shoulder. "When you grew up all alone, really, and your family usually treated you so poorly, how did you learn so well how to be a good counselor?"
". . . I don't know," Radley admitted. "I'm not perfect and I make mistakes, but my usual rule of thumb is pretty simple. I try to treat my loved ones the way I always longed for my family to treat me."
"And I had a good support group in Yusei, Crow, and Jack, but I still went so downhill," Kalin lamented. "How did that happen?"
Radley sighed and shook his head. "Maybe we'll never have all the answers. But the most important one here is that you recognize things went wrong and you wanna make it better now."
"The problem is, some things can't be made better," Kalin sighed. "There's no way to erase everything I did wrong."
"No, but when we love you so much, we're more than willing to forgive and try again," Radley said. "I know that doesn't make sense to you, Kalin, but it's still the truth."
Finally Kalin turned and hugged Radley close. "And even though I don't understand, I'm so grateful," he rasped.
Radley smiled in relief as he hugged back. There would no doubt be other times when Kalin would be distraught over this. But hopefully for now, the crisis was averted.
". . . What should we do about the concert?" Kalin mumbled now.
Radley paused, surprised. "Well, we sounded pretty good when we tried the song tonight. I say it's really up to you, Kalin. The song has actually ended up fitting us in ways I never dreamed of, but I'll understand if you're not comfortable with it." Especially after Kalin's realization that had caused his breakdown. . . .
Kalin sighed. "Let's try it," he said at last. "It is eerie that it describes us to an extent." He finally managed a smile. "Maybe we can make some good memories about it."
Radley hugged him. "That's a braveattitude. I know it'll probably be hard for you now. But I'll support you every step of the way."
Kalin smiled more. "I know."
xxxx
As usual, Scotch's concert had a high turn-out, with nearly everyone in town present along with some friends from the City. Kalin found himself further intimidated when he saw just how many people they would be playing to. But he steeled himself; after all, he had already known this would likely be the case.
Radley gave him an encouraging smile. When it was their turn, he started out singing the first round of the song, smiling and singing to Kalin rather than to the audience. Kalin took a deep breath and came in on the second round, singing in turn to Radley. During the instrumental bridge, they did what was also often common in Scotch's concerts and danced an exaggerated waltz, lacing their fingers and spinning and twirling. Then they sang the final round of the song together in harmony. They finished to thunderous applause.
Scotch beamed. "I knew you guys would be amazing!" he gushed.
Kalin exhaled, sharply. Radley's performance had been amazing, of course, and he was also relieved to be satisfied with his own.
"It's funny, you know," Radley mused. "In the movie, the song is just a song. The characters didn't really meet each other before in a dream. But . . . we did."
"It's also funny that we actually know what happened in the movie," Kalin intoned. He smiled. "And you're right."
Yusei met them at the end of the concert. "Hey, that was great, guys," he greeted. "The way you sang that, it actually felt like you meant it, like it was really real for you."
Radley and Kalin exchanged a look.
"Funny you should mention that," Kalin said. He draped an arm around Yusei's shoulders. "Come over to the back booth, Yusei. We have a strange story to tell you."
"Yes," Radley agreed. "Strange, but beautiful."
Yusei looked to them in surprise. "I'm happy to hear it," he said.
"Then let's start off by telling you the song actually is personal for us," Radley said. "Let's see . . . did Kalin tell you we met as kids?"
"Yeah, he did," Yusei smiled. "That's wonderful."
"Well, this new discovery stems partially from that," Radley said.
It wasn't long and all the Bunch gathered around to listen as well. They were all stunned and amazed by the tale, and Scotch summed it up with starry-eyed wonder. "That . . . is . . . epic!" he exclaimed.
"I have to agree," Yusei said with a genuine smile. "I'm really happy for you both."
Radley smiled too and hugged Kalin close. "We're always discovering new layers to our relationship. Here is another. And I am very glad of it."
"So am I," Kalin said. He would always regret he hadn't understood at the time, but he did love the deep meaning behind the dreams. It was indeed beautiful and special that God and Fate had stepped in and allowed their hearts to reach each other across the miles after their lone meeting as children.
He returned the hug whole-heartedly.
