Talk about losing control.

I feel like my ultimate loss of control is crashing on this island. I've got plenty of reasons to feel this way. I've always been called something of a control freak and while I don't think I'm quite that bad I will admit to wanting to be in control of most situations. Maybe it's the doctor in me that needs that control but nonetheless I need it. This island doesn't allow for anyone to be in control of anything. We can't control who we surround ourselves with or what we eat, where we live. We have no choice but to use what we have to survive.

There are the others that have supposedly taken away the control we have over our freedom. We can't cross the so called line and we have to be afraid of being killed or kidnapped. People see things and do things on this island they wouldn't normally do.

Since we've been here I've handled guns more in two months than in my entire life and all for survival. I've spent hours walking through the jungle on treks to find this, that or the other and none of it has gotten us any closer to getting off the island. In fact most of us have given up all hope of getting off this island. Loosing hope is a loss of control, loosing focus is too.

We're lost and we've lost a lot. Including control.