Yami's koi: after several reviews of either shocked responses or happy, glad responses… I've decided to continue with this. Sorry about the wait, I've had ENORMOUS amounts of writer's block, and plus… I've been obsessed with Naruto x Sasuke, and Iruka x Kakashi fics. As well as preparing (and taking!) exams that could affect everything I do in the future.
Neutral Man: in other words, all she's been doing is reading gay porn.
Amidamaru: don't mock Yami's koi. She writes about Yoh and me! XD
Yami's koi: riiiiiight. Well, see ya at the bottom.
Anna frowned down at the itinerary before her. She needed to keep the Shaman King, Yoh Asakura, in good condition, so that he could protect himself from any further challenges. Of course, the Shaman Tournament was over. Yet who was to say that there would not be a potential newcomer to the Throne of all Shamans, who did not enter the Tournament, or, simply did, yet had developed skills to match and surpass Yoh's own? The Itako would not allow Yoh to be defeated.
She had got him where he was, she felt: solely her. Maybe the authority that wedding Yoh would give her was blinding her, yet it did not mean that other parts of her mind were clouded with these thoughts also.
Yet Anna felt confused. She did not love Yoh. She only wanted to be his bride for one thing… to be Shaman Queen.
In a way, she felt horrid, using Yoh like that… using Yoh for her own selfish dreams. Yet she had to now… she had to commit herself to being his wife. It was she, Anna Kyoyama, who had delved herself into such trouble. Therefore, she would have to deal with what she had done, and live with herself.
But to live in misery, and to have Yoh forced into something that, she could tell, he really didn't want? Even Anna wasn't that heartless. Someone… had caught Yoh's eye, and Anna knew for certain that it was definitely not her. This thought did not bother her much… but it would be greatly appreciated if she knew whom it was that Yoh liked. That way, the entire ordeal would not have to get blown out of proportion by an enormous standard.
At the same time, however, she knew that she was feeling attraction for someone. The only complicated thing about it was that this person was a female. Anna Kyoyama was thinking about a female… and knowing that she liked that person. Gender had never been an issue for the Itako, but… what if she confessed her feelings to that person… and they did not feel the same way? What then would become of the friendship Anna had sought to make, and keep?
"If something is bothering you, then you should just let it all out." A soft, definitely male voice said from behind her. Anna instantly knew who it was, and her eyes hardened instinctively: like they always had done when she spoke to her fiancée.
"There isn't." Her tone was fierce, yet dared Yoh to continue to talk. The Shaman King swallowed, hard, finding himself unable to speak for a moment. It was difficult to act like his normal self… when he was so nervous, so apprehensive.
"Anna, I… have to talk to you."
Visibly she showed no more emotion than her usual cold, bitter self when she turned to face Yoh, but inside she was curious. Why would Yoh act so… reluctant to talk to her? Of course, Anna could dismiss the concern by thinking that she struck such fear into Yoh, but that hurt. It hurt a lot.
"What is it Yoh. I haven't got all day!" Anna snapped, not even bothering to phrase her words into a question. Yoh flinched mentally, yet stood his ground.
"It's very important. It's about our… engagement!" Yoh said, louder than he had intended to, when Anna's emerald eyes seemed to spark with anger and impatience. Yet as soon as she heard the word 'engagement,' she paused… and hated herself for it when Yoh noticed. He didn't seem concerned, but the Itako could tell that he was both terrified and curious at Anna's response. It was most unlike her.
"Fine, Yoh. But make it quick, I don't have the time to stand around all day. Unlike you, I am not a lazy slacker who does absolutely nothing, and expects to-"
She paused, turning, when the door opened abruptly behind them. In the doorway stood the beautifully clad Jun Tao, emerald coloured hair gently shifting in the light breeze that caressed every part of the stunning female. Neither Anna nor Yoh said another word, yet Jun could sense the tension in the air, and her smile faded slightly.
"Oh, is this a bad time? I thought that I could at least come to congratulate Yoh on his victory… but, if you're arguing…" Jun faded away, turning as if to leave both Shaman in peace. Yoh didn't miss the opportunity… but Anna got there first.
"No, Jun, you can stay. Yoh wants to ask me something about our engagement, so it's hardly going to be a sensible question anyway." Anna said swiftly, catching a hold of the Tao's slender, smooth arm and gently pulling her back. Jun seemed to like the contact, for her eyes seemed to light up at Anna as she smiled.
"Oh, alright then."
Yoh swallowed. He could either make something up, or simply tell Anna the Itako the truth. Maybe, just maybe… with Jun being there, she would go slightly easier on him.
Maybe.
Amidamaru appeared by Yoh's side, as did Bailong by Jun's side. This only seemed to increase the pressure on Yoh. Of course, having Amidamaru by his side made the entire ordeal so much better… but did he honestly want Bailong and Jun to hear this? Yoh seriously considered showing the elite Shaman what Amidamaru truly meant to him, yet Anna lashed out in her impatience before he could berate himself for such a foolish thought.
"YOH! STOP BEING A TWAT AND TELL ME!"
Yoh snapped.
"I DON'T LOVE YOU, ANNA! AND I ALSO DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU!"
Anna paled. Jun's hand covered her lips, her emerald coloured eyes reflecting just how shocked and paralysed she was, and her guardian ghost seemed to do the same. As for Amidamaru… Yoh did not dare to look at him, but he could sense that the samurai was desperately trying not to arouse suspicion. As for Yoh himself, however… his hand were still clutched as fists by his sides, his entire body was trembling, and his face began to show just how much he regretted saying that truth in the way that he did.
For once, he actually pitied Anna.
"…Anna?" Yoh asked hesitantly, not allowing any for of inner guilt or pity shine through when he spoke. She did not move, her eyes were concealed behind her golden brown bangs.
'I… knew this day would come.' Anna thought to herself, staring down at the floor. She had fallen to her knees, effectively restricting just how much emotion she was experiencing. Anna was shaking, she couldn't accept that Yoh had told her that when so many people were present, she would not believe it…
She needed to pull herself together. Anna would not allow Yoh to sip her clutches so easily… not without – at least – a forced confession of who he now loved. And if the Asakura Shaman decided to either lie, or withheld this information from her… then he would severely pay.
When the Itako finally had mustered enough strength to influence her voice again, and get it to function without a huskiness that reflected sadness and shock, Anna began to speak.
"Yoh… who is she?" Anna asked softly, still not able to raise her eyes. She did not know just how much emotion her eyes would betray, and so she kept her eyes firmly focused on the floor in front of her.
Yoh had been shuffling awkwardly when Anna had been silent, yet when she asked him that question… he could not help but freeze slightly, tension beginning to form in his entire being. It had begun in his stomach: a tightening knot of fear and of almost curiosity, welling in that area of his body… before it had enveloped all of his mind.
Amidamaru regarded his new lover with both admiration and sadness. He knew that Yoh appreciated him being there… as a ghost, he was extra sensitive to sudden shifts in tension, however… the samurai felt so weak and helpless. Amidamaru knew that he could not ease away the tension from Yoh's small, yet scarred form. He knew that he couldn't erase the anxiety by kissing it all away, consuming the Shaman in a pleasure-filled, beautiful way that only he could… and it hurt. It ached Amidamaru's heart… and he knew that just standing there was the sole thing that he could do. He could merely stand there, and hope to the God's that Yoh would be strong enough not to break.
Yoh inhaled shakily, glancing up at the ceiling for a moment. The action seemed calm enough to anyone watching, yet inside… Yoh was a wreck. He hated hurting others who were his friends, and Anna had begun to be a part of him that he could not help but class as a very close friend. Despite her frequent scolding sessions that she seemed to love, and insults… Yoh could see beneath all of that, and interpret that Anna was really a sweet, caring girl. She had a lot to offer any potential lover… and that was why Yoh could not stay and marry her. He couldn't hurt her like this… not when she deserved so much more. Not when they were all living a lie.
Yoh then braced himself for the second, much greater shock than the previous one. He stared into Anna's golden locks, unable to look Jun, Bailong, or even Amidamaru, his lover, in the eye.
"Who said it was a she?"
This time, Anna's entire head snapped up, her eyes blaring with a frightening mixture of emotions. The dominant one seemed to be shock, yet beneath that, Yoh sensed that the Itako was disgusted, and also enraged by such a response. He couldn't tell for sure. However, from what he could interpret from the blaze of startling chaos in Anna's eyes… her next comment would not be pleasant. A homosexual crude nickname he was prepared for, yet he knew that neither Amidamaru, nor Bailong, would stand for such a display of hatred.
'I… presumed as much...' Anna's mind chanted, recurring the same thought until her eyes blurred and was forced to bow her head again. Her form was slumped, almost in a posture of defeat. Her bangs mainly concealed her eyes, but she knew that many would see the splattering of her tears… if she decided to release them.
Which, of course, she would not. In the end, what good would crying do to her, anyway? Would shedding a tear reverse the forced marriage that she had demanded for so long ago? Would weeping like a little idiot make Yoh regret what he had just said? Would crying really… do her any good?
The answer is no. For a moment, Anna had just won a vicious battle in herself, and for that, she was proud. The elite Shaman, the Itako, had once again overcome the disasters that the world held for her, and had not shed a single tear. If she had known better, she would have cried… but this time, she would be crying for happiness.
Then the reality of Yoh's words struck her. He… was gay? But who would be worthy enough for Yoh Asakura, newly pronounced Shaman King? Whoever it was, even if he made Yoh feel happy, Anna wanted to know that they would never intentionally hurt him.
"…Who…?" Anna asked quietly, her voice almost scratchy.
Amidamaru knew that he was tense, but did not care. His lover was undergoing such torture, and he had done what Yoh had asked… he had not attracted any attention to himself. Yet… his self-control was slowly slipping. Amidamaru respected Yoh's orders, and wished to follow them exactly… but it was so difficult, especially when he noted that the young Shaman did not dare look him in the eye, for fear of revealing whom his lover was.
The samurai closed his eyes for a moment to clear his mind. His shoulders relaxed, and the feeling felt good. The worse would be over for a while, and then he and Yoh could get to love each other both freely and openly… so that everyone could see how much they loved each other. So that they could get on with their lives, and not have to live in fear of everyone else's looks and remarks.
Jun stood there, still paralysed from Yoh's first and sudden outburst. Undecided on what to do, she contemplated dragging herself and Bailong outside, yet she knew that Anna would need some form of comforting… after Yoh said what he had to. Even if Yoh did not love Anna in the way that he was supposed to, Jun deemed his way of telling her to be rather harsh and very unexpected. Then again, when would… really… be a good time to have told the fierce, yet beautiful Kyoyama? Could it have been before the tournament? Could recent events have triggered something inside of Yoh, inspiring him to seek his true love… and preference?
No. Yoh seemed to be very confident about his 'taste'… despite his shaky, scared appearance on the outside. This had been something… that had been present for a long, long time now. And not even Anna's persuasive ways would be able to change Yoh's mind now. He was permanently set to one path… and he would never drift away from it.
Yoh sighed, both shakily and somewhat loudly. This caused Anna to glance up at him; slowly pressing him into informing her of what she wanted… needed… to hear. Even if she could not condole a relationship between Yoh and whoever he wanted, she could object if the person would not treat Yoh the way that he deserved.
Again, Yoh braced himself for the shocking impact that this would have.
"…Amidamaru…"
This time, Jun gasped too loudly. Her emerald eyes widened, and she took a single step back. No… way.
Anna stared up at Yoh's sincere, yet depressed face, unable to believe what Yoh had just told her. It was… Amidamaru? Did the samurai even know of this? If Anna hadn't been so shaken, she would have looked and checked for herself… most of the time, the person's face could say more than what she would ever want to believe. One expression can tell the truth that was never meant to be revealed, Anna thought.
However, this time, she feared seeing what she did not want to believe. Although she had never been one to deny any forms of truth, Anna the Itako did not… want to accept what Yoh had just said. Sure, Amidamaru would treat Yoh respectfully, but…
"Amidamaru… do you know…?" Anna whispered, not daring to look at the warrior. Again her eyes fell to the floor, suddenly appearing very downcast. So this… was who she had lost Yoh to. One of the best things that could and should have happened to her… was lost.
And, even Anna admitted it to herself: after the way she had treated Yoh, she deserved it.
Amidamaru felt only Jun and Bailong's eyes on him, and for that he felt despondent. He wanted to see how his lover was doing. He wanted to be able to comfort him without having his spirit evaporate into cold, harsh nothingness by Anna's beads. Despite Yoh's silent promise that he would never allow Amidamaru to be captured… Amidamaru knew that Yoh would never intentionally inflict physical injury upon Anna Kyoyama.
"Amidamaru?" Anna asked again, her voice shaky and sounding so… alone. With Anna, nothing had been easy for her, yet this… was one of the most difficult, awkward days of her life. And the quicker the samurai would admit, or not, to her question… the quicker she could recover and rebuild her life. She could marry anyone she wanted… and maybe even love the one she desired more than anyone else in the world.
Amidamaru exhaled shakily, staring at Yoh's feet. He didn't know why, but the sight was comforting enough. When he looked up at Yoh's face, he realised then why he had felt comfort. Yoh was looking at him. Nothing could be read from Yoh's posture, yet the eyes told all. He seemed very alone, and desperate to feel Amidamaru's touch again.
It was this that encouraged Amidamaru to speak.
"…Yes…"
So distant and despondent. Anna nodded her head and looked the samurai warrior in the eye: something that she had forced herself to do. Every ounce of her will was being exercised in this moment, and Anna knew that it would not last fro very long. She tried a weak smile, and it turned out just like that: a strained, false smile.
"I know that you will never hurt him." Anna whispered, her voice cracking at the end of the sentence. With that said, she realised that there was no reason for her to stay. She turned and collected the few belongings that she had placed in that room, and exited it entirely.
Jun had remained silent, and barely moved when Anna brushed quickly past. She felt that she should move, offer solace to the Itako swiftly departing, yet the Tao female Doshie knew that she could hardly move.
"Yoh… what should I do?" Jun asked quietly, unsure as to if she should even be asking.
She should have trusted her instincts. One silver, stray tear fell down Yoh's cheek, almost invisible to the human eye, but from the glisten of his tears to the brightness of his eyes… it was impossible to miss… in this situation.
"I don't know."
Yami's koi: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Don't you just HATE me!
Neutral Man: yes.
Yami's koi: go to hell. Well… next chapter will be out soon, peoples. I beg you, R it's what keeps me alive! Also, I accept fan art for this or any other fic I have done. I would appreciate any of those things that are listed above. Oh! And a few days ago, I accidentally said Mikithreesome instead of Mikihisa for Yoh's dad. I have a one way mind… points I'm gonna go now, but I'll update soon! Thanks for reading this fic so far!
