Tell us about your number one regret.
My number one regret. I think I have too many regrets to actually count but there is one that stands out clearly in my mind. It sounds kind of absurd in my head when I think about how to say it. I should have chased her. See I told you it sounded absurd, now here's where I'm suppose to give details but as it goes getting into things too personally kind of petrifies me if you want to know the truth. It makes the lines from Miranda rights flit across my mind, "anything you say can and will be used against you." I've never actually heard the Miranda rights in context if you're wondering. No arrests under my belt, just a speeding ticket or two listed on my file in LA.
Fine, there's not much to loose at this point I guess. Running and chasing, two things I've never been good at doing. That day in the jungle when I was sure Kate had gone completely nuts before she kissed me I decided that I'd pushed her enough, that going after her would only make things worse but I don't think there's a second that goes by that I don't wonder what would have happened if I had just gone after her.
For all I know my instincts were right on and going after her would have ended up with me getting another beating to the chest or ruining any possibility for … well I guess possibilities, who knows.
But there are always those what if's, what if I'd held on tighter, what if I'd questioned more. What if I'd made her talk to me before things got so screwed up.
Now even thinking about it brings me to the day we went after Michael. Why isn't telling her she couldn't come my number one regret when it directly resulted in a gun to Kate's throat and my entire life to come flashing before my eyes in one empty millisecond? I think some part of me believes that if I'd gone after her when she ran, which she's so good at doing, that I wouldn't have been so angry and confused when everything came to a head. If I'd just chased her, gotten her to talk to me, gotten past the confusing and hurt and just been a man, none of the rest of it would have happened. It's like that expression, killing two birds with one stone.
