Write about a habit you find hard to break.
Responsibility; trying to take it all on myself. I don't know how many times people have admonished me for not getting enough sleep or trying to hard to make sure everyone is safe and happy. For weeks I was trying to do everything and anything I could do to make sure people were feeling safe, I was running myself ragged trying and then Hurley builds a golf course and everyone felt safe. That was the first indication that maybe I couldn't do it all on my own.
I still do it though, take on everything, there's always this weight on my shoulders that I can't seem to let go of no matter hard I try or how hard other people try to lift it on their own. I know other people find me controlling and I know that on a lot of levels I really am just a glorified control freak but if I don't take responsibility who will? Maybe it's the years in medical school or the years in residency where you had to take responsibility, you had to make a decision and stick to it or it would cost other people their lives. I know that quality might be somewhat unattractive or annoying but it's something that was ingrained into me from childhood. Make the decision, take responsibility, stick to your guns or nothing you ever do will ever matter.
Leader status was not what I wanted when we crashed but somehow I slipped into the role. People put me here and I do what I can, I try to make things better for the small colony of people who survived the crash, I try to save lives and keep people calm and feeling safe. I try because it's all I know how to do.
Responsibility is the habit I'll never be able to break.
