The Ashes of Wonderland

Part 3

Dream Detachment

Her words were always broken up

Spilled ice from baby's plastic cup

She opened her eyes.

This place was not strange to her. It was simply a room, and nothing more. A room with a metal chair in the center, the walls glaringly bleach white and isolated. Lights lit the room from above. The one in the far corner flickered as it sputtered in a struggle to stay alive. The air was cold, her breath forming against it. She sat in the chair. It was chilling against her thighs. She pulled her legs together in an attempt to gather warmth within her revealing top and shorts, both as white as the room.

"Do you think that the guilt can be removed?"

She looked up sharply at the sound of a human voice.

A girl stood across the room from her. Her hands were on her hips. Twisted around the length of her arms was her straight black hair, flowing down to her slim hips and contrasting with the white outfit that she wore. Her mouth was twisted in a frown and brown eyes narrowed. Though a similar expression was worn during times of annoyance, this was far worse. Her cheeks were flushed and her neck muscles tight against her skin. Rage.

Rei.

"If you think that, then you need to fucking get real," she said.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. She let out an exasperated sigh.

"Jesus, Hotaru! Get a fucking clue!"

It was the voice of a different girl, who appeared to the right of the first. Her dark blue hair was short and cut around her ears, curled under around the edges. She was dressed in the same pale outfit as Rei. Usually, her voice held soft and gentle tones, shy and friendly tones, but now, it was harsh and dirtied. Her tongue had now proven itself venomous.

Ami.

"You killed us, Hotaru!"

Hotaru's head snapped to the side. The small girl stood beside her, cotton-candy hair gleaming like it was freshly washed. Cherries. She held out her hand. Hotaru reached out to take it, her fingertips nearly touching the palm, when the wrist snapped back and the child's hand slapped across her cheek. She reached up and touched the inflamed flesh softly, feeling the heat rise to the top of the skin.

"You killed me, Hotaru," she said in her tender voice.

Chibi-usa.

Suddenly, hands grabbed Hotaru's shoulders, turning her face forward. Rei was bending over the girl. "You killed me!" she screamed and began shaking Hotaru.

"You killed me!"

The shaking grew worse, Rei's black hair flying over her shoulders and into her face.

"You killed me! You killed me! You killed me!"

Rei's fingers sunk into the younger girl's flesh. "You killed me!" she shrieked out, her voice breaking as she beat the girl against the chair's back.

"You killed me!"

Blood sprayed across Hotaru's face.

"You killed me!"

Blood splattered across her torso, droplets falling down and gathering between her breasts.

"You killed me! You killed me!"

Blood gushed onto her thighs.

But it wasn't her blood.

Rei's shirt was now a sick, wet crimson, nearly black across her stomach. The shirt stuck to her skin. The ends of her hair clung together with the blood. She howled and beat her arms down on Hotaru's shoulders, screaming the same phrase over and over. She gripped the girl, pressing her thumbs into the collarbone. Her eyes rolled wild around in her skull, as if they were going to dart out of the sockets. Her lips were paled pink and violent as they threw out the repetitive words against Hotaru's face, spittle racing to hit the air before the words did.

Suddenly, she gasped. Her eyes grew wide and the whites overflowed with abrupt tears.

She fell forward, leaning into Hotaru's chest. Her breath was hot and quick against her own blood and Hotaru's skin.

Then her bottom half sunk to the floor, her torso remaining in the other girl's lap.

Rei's expression was shocked, but almost serene in the ghastly moment, before pulling herself up, severed entrails sliding across Hotaru's knees. She looked into violet eyes a moment. Her eyebrows swerved back and forth between knitting sorrow and creasing hate, allowing sweat to catch the light and give her forehead sheen through the messy and wet bangs sticking to her face. She neither smiled nor frowned before lifting her face to softly kiss her lips. Through gritted teeth, she let out a growl of words.

"You fucking bitch."

Then she slid to the floor.

Hotaru stared at the dead body between her feet, her eyes fixed and wide. For the first time in what seemed like minutes, she began to breathe. Her breaths arched her chest with each intake. Her collarbone and neck muscles became more and more apparent with each one. Her breathing became shrieking gasps.

White arms wrapped themselves around her waist from behind. She was frozen in horror.

Then, the inevitable snap of bone.

Hotaru heard herself whimper as she awoke from the dream. She groaned as she rolled over, feeling the ache in her knuckles as she released the sheets from their capture. Her head throbbed to the beat behind her ribs. Strange, that the nightmares could still affect her after so long. She brushed stray hair from her eyes and looked at the clock on the nightstand next to her bed. The red digital numbers read out that it was still early, and the windows read out that dawn was about to break the night wide open.

She slid her legs from under the blankets, allowing her skin to gasp at the sudden, though nearly subtle, temperature change. Her feet touched the floor gently, barely making a sound, and then padded softly to the bathroom.

The light switch flicked as she touched it and the room was illuminated. It was a tiny thing, the bathroom, with just enough room for toilet, sink, and shower. It was grungy around the edges, a little dirty here and there, but she liked the mirror. It had a white frame, badly painted over the original silver, which curved around the mirror and curling in a design at the top. There were three dark circles in the right corner, small, that refused to reflect anything anymore. Their edges were rough in shape. Hotaru knew that if she could touch them beyond the looking glass, then they would feel like sandpaper. She ran a finger along the mirror's frame, seeing her reflection doing the same.

She opened the medicine cabinet behind the mirror, taking out her toothbrush and toothpaste. Applying the minty gel, she set to scrubbing away a night's worth of bacterial deposits. She stared herself down as she did this, keeping her eyes on her own, as if they were two separate beasts locked in battle's approaching heat. Finished, she spat out the foam into the sink, turning on the cold water to wash it all away. She ran a comb through her hair and examined her appearance, reaching up to tame wild hairs with her fingers. She pulled her hair down and around her ears, smoothing out dark locks and making sure they were straight. Her motions slowed as she stared into her own eyes. She stopped touching her hair. She stared at herself, hands frozen in time just in front of her chest. Her eyes fixed themselves into a stare with their twins. Suddenly, she smacked her palm against the mirror, not hard enough to break the glass, but just enough for the palm to sting and tingle against the coldness. Condensation began to form around her fingers.

She let her breath out and swiped her hand across the reflecting glass, smearing the mirror's clear surface with both fingerprints and remnants of sweat.

She wouldn't allow herself to look up at the hollow counterpart as she stripped of her pajamas and set her nakedness free against the air.

She stepped into the shower.

The tiles were cold, the metal drain even colder, against the soles of her feet. She ran her toes over the smooth scratches and cracks in the tiles as she adjusted her body inside the small compartment. Her skin tightened at the chill of open air, causing goosebumps to rise up armies across her smooth flesh and making her small breasts appear even smaller with the hardening of her nipples. She had left the curtain half-open, but immediately shook it closed to perhaps capture some heat. She reached out and turned on the water. She absent-mindedly noticed mildew building up around the neck of the showerhead as she turned the knobs.

She stepped into the downpour. The water rushed upon her with fast but gentle fingers, hot but silky, like the hands of an anxiously beautiful lover. They ran over all her curves, molding themselves to fit her body, embracing her to their tightest but never letting her lose her breath.

They were the only ones who would hold her in this place. She knew that.

Under all the water and flesh and bone and blood, she silently wished for love.

As the man had said it would, the doorbell rang at eight that morning.

Hotaru was sitting on her couch, hands clasped in her lap and thighs pacing back and forth against worn material and polished wood. Her hair was freshly washed, but dry due to passing time. She could still smell the stale air under the cinnamon and sugary scent of the air-freshener. She shook off the pessimism toward her new apartment. She was nervous and picking up on things that she would normally shrug off, if they were even noticed at all.

So much time had passed. So many things left veiled and hidden from view. It had been fifteen years since that awful day and still no answers had been given other than the ones she already knew. Her destiny. Her purpose. Her solitude. She knew all these.

She was uncertain as to what was going to be held in the box, or as to whether she truly wished to open it.

She opened the door, though.

A man was on the other side.

His sunglasses hid his eyes and this bothered Hotaru. His navy blue suit was pressed and absent of wrinkles, gliding smoothly across his broad shoulders. He seemed to be absent of everything, whether it be wrinkles or a crooked tie or a signal of emotion.

"Hotaru Tomoe?"

"Yes."

"Come with me."

His voice was hard, deep and rough, with an accent on its fringes. It made her suddenly wary of where she was going.

She stepped out into the hallway, realizing that there was, in fact, two men outside her door. The other man had the same haircut, cut short and swiped to the side across his forehead. He wore the same suit as the first man, his Adam's apple protruding against his thin neck, bobbing and pressing every time that he swallowed. He remained silent.

The two men escorted her to a black car, the paint sleek and shined, the white lines of gleam running all along the body. It was a strange sight in these times. The men's power over Hotaru pressed on her shoulders like two large packs of sand, weighing down her bones but pressing her on.

She sat in the car, a man on each side. She rested her hands uncomfortably on her knees. She kept her head down the entire drive. Both she and the men were silent.

The suppressed awe of witnessing the geofront was cut short as they entered another complex, deep under the earth.

Before her stood a man. He was tall, towering over the girl, making her feel and appear even younger than she already was. He was dressed in what appeared to be a uniform, brown with stripes along the edges. His nose was strong. His wrinkles well-defined against his cheeks and eyes. His eyes were as grey as his hair, which was slicked back against his scalp, thinning along the edges.

His hands were at his sides. One held a thick manila envelope, which he extended towards Hotaru. She took it in an almost cautious manner, leaving it unopened. "Come with me," he said, turning on his heels slowly, so that she would understand, even if she hadn't heard his words.

She followed.

The woman stood over the console. The computers ran program after program without help or guidance, lights and displays blinking in an array of colors as they worked. That was both advantage and disadvantage to the MAGI system. With the exception of Dr. Akagi, no one knew the MAGI like the MAGI did. Somehow, it didn't seem strange that even computers had secrets here. Everyone else did.

Her comrades were sipping coffee on their break through the mugs that the organization had given them as a welcome gift. They talked with absent thought, random topics, like the Olympics, which were to occur in the next few months. Somehow, that was a sign that the world was relaxing again, since the tournament hadn't been held since Sydney. Maya Ibuki was in favor of the young swimmer named Rae Tsukizo. Her tones praised his last television performance with enthusiasm. Her co-workers were acting as if it was an abnormal day, one without Angels or life-threatening experiences. They seemed unaware of what was actually happening. Her thoughts swarmed in a negative cloud. She did not understand as to why there was going to be another, barely a day after what had happened with the last child. Only one word came to mind:

Treachery.

She gritted her teeth and put her cup down. She picked up the folder and glanced through it. The picture of the girl wasn't an official picture, like from a recent school's yearbook. It was like a picture from a frame, taken from a nightstand. It had another person cropped out of the photo, one who had rose-colored hair and obviously one who made the girl smile. The edges were creased in the original, and there seemed to be water damage, but these were simply scanned into this particular document copy. The information on the child was blacked out in some places, sketchy in others. The paper was covered in so much censored area and black ink that the paper rippled over the undisclosed information.

Just like Rei. Just like Kaoru.

She shut the file with haste and a frown. The hard copy was just as cryptic as the computer file, half of which was locked with a password. The Marduk report had been deemed classified. Once again, this child had been sent directly from The Committee. Were they stupid enough to pull the same stunt as before? But… there were no more Angels to be expected. In fact, in a week, NERV was expected to be disbanded. However, she was given specific instructions to brief and monitor this child, one who they called "The Sixth."

And there was something else, too. Some distant tug in the back of her brain, a small weak hand grasping at smoke rings in the dark. She didn't know what it was or why it was there, but she felt it in every time that she opened the file and looked at the picture.

What in the world was going on?

Who the hell was this girl?

Her watch signaled the hour. She boarded the elevator.

The older man had already introduced himself as Fuyutsuki. Several times, he had instructed her to pull something from the envelope and read it or hand it to him. However, this time, he slipped his hand into the package, which Hotaru clutched to her chest, pulling out a card. He ran the card through, and the machine beeped, the display changing from black to orange and reading out in Japanese characters that the card was accepted. He handed the card back to her. She took it and looked at him with a questioning expression.

"This is your security card. You must use it to enter and to exit this facility," he said.

The door, labeled Gate 13 in white paint and lined with red, whisked open and the man passed through it. Hotaru followed.

They stood in front of the elevator door and waited, their reflections bent to the silver door's twisted desires. The hum signaled that the elevator shaft was in use and someone was traveling between floors.

The woman was frowning as the door opened. The expression seemed alien to her. The slowly appearing wrinkles in her face were not those formed by a chronic frown, but she handled the look with ease nonetheless. She couldn't have been more than thirty. She held a folder and clipboard to her chest with one sleeved arm. Her bright red jacket extended to her waistline, with the sleeves down to her wrists. Her long dark hair fell over her shoulder and to the middle of her breasts, curling and turning up at the ends, as she used neither hand to flip it over to her back.

"So this is the Sixth Child?"

The man behind Hotaru confirmed that this was so. The woman turned her eyes to Hotaru.

"I am Major Katsuragi. Come with me," she said.

Author notes:

I'm correcting my placement of Hotaru Tomoe. She is to be placed after Episode 24 and before End of Evangelion. "Suffocating Alice" still belongs solely to me, because of copyrights through Fiction Press.

I know that sometimes my writing can be a little cryptic in crossovers, especially to someone who is not familiar with both parties written into the story. Also, it is a little hard to write Sailor Moon characters into Evangelion without sounding incredibly cheesy. However, I took up this challenge and intend on finishing it.

Some of you have expressed that you are not familiar with the character that I stole for the crossover. For more information on Hotaru Tomoe, go to my website, which includes summaries of Hotaru's appearances in the Sailor Moon series along with a small gallery of pictures. My website will have information of other characters in Sailor Moon if you are curious as to whom I am writing about. I will have the website available within the next few days.

Also, I am quite aware of the confusion between Rei Ayanami and Rei Hino (known in Sailor Moon as Sailor Mars) that will occur, since this was stated to me by two people already. That just means that you'll have to pay closer attention to the writing. I will make it rather obvious which character is in play at the moment, but I cannot help your confusion to the obvious, if said confusion should occur.

Songs listened to while writing:

Nine Inch Nails – The Becoming

Smashing Pumpkins – Disarm

Rufus Wainwright – Hallelujah

Our Lady Peace – Innocent

Our Lady Peace – Thief

Metallica – Unforgiven II

Beth Hart – L.A. Song

Bruce Springsteen – The River

Bruce Springsteen – Born To Run

Orgy – Blue Monday