Chapter Nine
Dazed and Confused
Lucas
Well, that was interesting.
She still hasn't seen me. She's walking down the driveway with a dopey grin on her face.
Seems like only yesterday when my girlfriend would have left a conversation with my brother with a face like thunder and a few well-chosen insults.
Oh wait, it was only yesterday.
But not now. Now she is walking down the driveway with a dopey grin and absolutely no idea that I'm stood almost directly in front of her.
"Hey," I decide to speak up. My chest is hurting and I feel like talking might relieve the pressure. It doesn't.
She looks up at me and her eyes widen. A look of guilt briefly crosses her face to be replaced with something like annoyance.
Well, that's ironic. I've just seen her laughing and joking with someone she supposedly hates and she's the one that's annoyed with me.
"Lucas, where have you been?" she asks, hurrying towards me and pulling me down into a hug. I don't respond to it. She pulls away, hurt. "I've been looking for you."
"Really?" I ask. She narrows her eyes and nods.
"Yeah. Why else would I be here?"
I shrug. Why would she be here. Maybe, and stop me if I'm coming across as some kind of jealous idiot here, it was because she wanted to see my brother. Who she slapped earlier.
You know what they say about love and hate being similar emotions? Bullshit. Hate is hate, plain and simple, and judging by the way she was laughing and joking with Nathan just now, she doesn't hate him.
So what's left? Exactly.
"Lucas, what is up with you? You've been funny with me all day. What have I done wrong?" Haley asks, crossing her arms and looking defensive.
I consider telling her. I consider showing my jealous colours and coming across like a possessive, insecure little boy. I don't, but I consider it.
"Nothing. I'm just… I'm just tired. I'll pick you up tomorrow, okay?" I say. Haley nods. She hugs me again and I try and hug her back. It's not much, but at least I actually move this time.
"Bye," she says, reaching up and kissing me on the lips. Something comes over me, maybe it is the possessiveness that seems to have made itself so comfortable in my psyche all of a sudden, but I pull her closer and deepen the kiss. She moans a little, but she's kissing me back.
It's not the same.
I refuse to give up though, I bend down, not breaking the connection with her mouth, and pick her up behind the knees, lifting her over to the garden wall.
"Lucas," she says, in between kisses, "what are you doing?"
I don't answer her, I just continue to kiss her, grinding with her as she leans against the wall. I reach up under her top and feel the smoothness of her cotton bra. I moan.
"Lucas," she says again. I ignore her, put my hand under her bra. She pulls away from me. "Lucas stop!"
I take a step back. Her lips are swollen from so much kissing, and she's pulling her top down frantically.
"God Lucas, we're in the middle of the street practically. What are you doing?"
I stare at her, not sure what to say. "Uh, I just… want you."
A grin appears on her face. "God Lucas, when did you get so horny?"
I laugh. I'm forgiven. "Do you want a ride home?"
"Yeah."
After I've dropped Haley off I go straight back home. I feel like I've got some kind of snake stuck in my stomach, twisting and slithering about making me feel sick. It's an unshakable feeling and I know the only way to get rid of it is something that's going to hurt me more.
Nathan is in the front room, watching an old basketball game on ESPN Classic, lounging about king of the house. Well, I guess with Dan out that's exactly what he is. I may be the oldest but I'm also the outsider.
Not that I'd want to belong to this family. Please, with Dangerous Dan and Poisonous Nathan, it's the last place I'd want to belong.
Nathan turns around. I've been stood in the doorway for a whole minute now and he's only just noticing that there's someone else in the room. Someone who's hindering the breathing space of his enormous ego.
"You going to close the door?" He asks, turning straight back to the TV. I slam it open further.
"Why don't you close it?" I ask, heading for the stairs. It's a warm night, but the breeze is still cool. Cool enough to seriously bother my volatile little brother.
"Hey!" Nathan shouts, jumping up and walking to the bottom of the stairs. "What's your problem?"
That makes me laugh. What's my problem? There is so much Nathan! So Goddamn much!
"Have you lost it?" Nathan goes on. "Have you been hit on the head with a basketball and completely lost it?"
"No Nathan, have you?"
His eyes narrow. The door's still open, and a strong piece of wind whacks it off the wall. It sounds ominous. "You know what? Why am I even talking to you?" he asks, about to turn back to the couch.
"Oh, I get it, I'm a mistake right? Why would you waste your precious breath on the mistake of the family?"
"That's right Lucas! Glad to see you're finally getting it."
"Funny though, you wouldn't waste your breathe talking to me, but my girlfriend seems to be good enough for you."
Nathan's face drops for like a fraction of a second, and then his cocky smirk appears. God I want to punch that off him. "Right, you mean Tutor Girl? Dream on Lucas. She may be just about all your capable of screwing, but I tend to set my sites a little higher than sad and desperate."
"No, if I recall, sad and desperate is a prerequisite for getting into Nathan Scott's pants."
"Well, if that was the case, I'd have had Hales by now."
"Please, Haley is not like that. I don't know what your game is Nathan, but you better quit it."
"Yeah? Or what Lucas? What are you going to do?"
"Don't push me little brother. You'll regret it."
Nathan laughs again, but he doesn't say anything more. I go straight to my bedroom. A few seconds later I hear the front door slam. Nathan will probably go back to his game with his tale between his legs. All the while our conversation is going round in my head…
I tend to set my sites a little higher than sad and desperate… If that was the case, I'd have had Hales by now.
Hales.
