Izzie

I have something to tell you. Something that I wish was different. Another reason why it's killing me that you left. I don't believe in heaven. I never have. And I hate myself for it. It means I won't ever see you again. There isn't an afterlife. There is no 'white light'. No 'pearly gates'. No 'city of clouds'. There's just death. Death and a rotting corpse. I'm a doctor. I'm trained to believe in science, logic, not fairytales. I wish I did. I wish I thought I'd be with you again. But I don't. And I hate myself for it. Because I'm never going to see your face again. Or hear your laugh. Feel your touch. You're gone. Sometimes I hate you so much. I hate you so much for making me fall in love with you! For leaving me. Why did it have to end like this, Denny? Why did you have to die? You didn't deserve to. It wasn't fair. It wasn't your time. You were too young. You had too much ahead of you. But you have to stop haunting my thoughts. I have to move on. I can't live like this. It's not fair to me. Or anyone else for that matter. I don't want to be a burden to them. And I don't want to see the pity in their eyes when they look at me. Pity won't bring you back.

I know what you came for


And I know when you'll leave

You came for my heart

And it's lost to me

For I won't stop you

I will open my door

My heart is here waiting

I don't need it no more

I know why you're leaving

And I'll just let it be

I am left with nothing

And now you're lost to me

For I can't stop you

I will open my door

My heart is here waiting

I don't need it no more

For love makes a fool of me

For love makes a part of us

You know it's worthless

As worthless can be

Meredith

I sit here waiting. Waiting for the moment that will change my life forever. The edge of the bat is cold and uncomfortable, digging into my body. I stare at the stick sitting on the bench. The ominous piece of plastic that could ruin everything I've worked for. That could affect more people than just me. What if it is positive? What am I supposed to do? What would I tell Derek? What would I tell Finn? What would I tell Addison? This is ridiculous. I couldn't have a baby. I can't be a mother. I cannot be responsible for a human life. I can't even look after myself. I'm a train wreck. It wouldn't be fair to it. I don't know the first thing about being a mother. My own mother was never around. I don't know what a real mother does. I never imagined becoming one. I don't want to be one. Three minutes feels more like three hours. Time feels as though it has frozen. I look around the room desperately trying to find a distraction. Something to make the time go faster. I notice there's four toothbrushes in the holder. The blue one is Derek's. I forgot to throw it out. My thoughts drift back to when he used to stay overnight. To when my life felt perfect. Like a fairytale. But happy endings are only for stories that haven't finished yet. The beep of the alarm on my watch pulls me back to reality. Time's up. I take a deep breath and look at the stick. Blue.

It's not the time, it's not the place I am afraid


They keep telling me, I'm not alone


They're all standing by me, but I am not my own

This thing is growing like a cancer I must kill

I am so confused, I don't know what I feel


I refuse to believe this is a child

It's not a person yet it takes quite a while

And guilt is great on my shoulders tonight

Could someone please tell me what is wrong and what is right

What is wrong and what is right, what is wrong and what is right


But I know it's life, I can't deny that it's life

Oh is it life? Can I deny this its life? I am afraid

Cristina

He's acting like nothing happened. Like nothings changed. He's strutting around the apartment making jokes and small talk. The only time he mentioned the shooting is the day he came home. It's as though he's erased it from his memory. If only it was as easy for me to do. It killed me watching him lie in bed, day after day. It wasn't Burke. He wasn't the sexy, confident man I fell in love with. He was broken Burke. I still loved him as much as I ever had but it hurt me so much to see him like that. I let him know I was there for him. I broke down my barriers. I gave into my emotions. And for what? So he could pretend like everything was okay? That nothing happened? This is what I get for becoming weak. This is what I get for losing my edge. A boyfriend who won't even acknowledge that for the first time ever I wore my heart on my sleeve. That I allowed myself to be vulnerable. It was all for nothing.

Now I was once a fool, it's true

I played the game by all the rules

But now my world's a deeper blue

I'm sadder, but I'm wiser too

I swore I'd never love again

I swore my heart would never mend

Said love wasn't worth the pain

But then I hear it call my name


The trouble with love is

It can tear you up inside

Make your heart believe a lie

It's stronger than your pride

The trouble with love is

It doesn't care how fast you fall

And you can't refuse the call

See, you got no say at all


Every time I turn around

I think I've got it all figured out

My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin'

Over and over again

This sad story always ends the same

Me standin' in the pourin' rain

It seems no matter what I do

It tears my heart in two


The trouble with love is

It can tear you up inside

Make your heart believe a lie

It's stronger than your pride