Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Danganronpa.


Chapter 42:
What a Weekend Part II

Yamada Hifumi was having an interesting day of sorts. Sure, he currently found himself in something of a conundrum, of which he was responsible of if he was being totally honest, but it was still interesting nonetheless. And, if he was going to be even more honest, a part of himself was enjoying the development that was unfolding right before his eyes. It was the most stimulating sight in his short fifteen years of life.

Not that he also wasn't jealous…..because he wasn't! He would never! That would be beneath him.

It all started a couple of hours ago. It was Friday afternoon. This meant that it was the start of his paradise. This was the case for every Friday of course, as it meant that he could fully devote himself to his one true passion without the constant haggling of school or, worse, other people.

God, he hated the 3D world. It was nothing but a garbage creation full of nothing but garbage people. It was the sort of anime story no one should ever animate! Or even write any fan fiction of. Really, it was just the worst. What kind of plot did this story even have anyway!? There wasn't a single magical girl anywhere! What a disgrace! To make matters worse, not a single one of these fools could grasp his greatness, but that was to be expected. Great artists were rarely appreciated in their time, after all. He was just another added to the list of so many. This was the struggle he was meant to endure for having such talent he supposed. And he would endure it for sure. He took pride in it, in fact. Like when that 3D girl tried to approach him that one time…..

But that was neither here nor there. He was getting sidetracked. He was supposed to be explaining his current predicament.

You see, as with every Friday after school, Hifumi didn't waste any time in heading home. Sure, there was a fanfic club at his school, of which he was the proud founder and only member, but on Fridays there were no club activities. As he said before, heading home was his only intention on these wonderful afternoons. He had a whole weekend filled with snacks and online conversations to look forward to. There was also his fan fiction to work on, but he usually took it pretty easy until his deadline loomed over him like a great boulder just waiting to crush him. Occasionally he would meet up with his online allies for all sorts of important discussions, but he had no such plans for this weekend. Sure, the 3D world might suck, but companionship built over the 2D was an exception. Hifumi wouldn't call them his friends, though. He was a proud loner, a solitary warrior fighting his own battle.

Gah, so cool!

Again, he was getting sidetracked here. What mattered was that, as he was leaving school grounds, he managed to catch sight of the female track team in the middle of their usual practice. Now don't misunderstand here! Hifumi was a proud lover of the 2D and nothing more! 3D females were nothing but a waste of time! He had no time for them and their pointless lives. He had ascended such basic desires a long time ago, pulling all of it into his work instead for all to admire. Yes, real girls didn't interest him at all. Of that, there was little doubt. They did nothing for him and his particular tastes. That's why, only out of pure curiosity and boredom, did he approach the girl's track team…..and when he said "approached" he meant looking at them from a distance…..from one of the nearby bushes.

Those were irrelevant details! Also irrelevant was how their track and field uniforms clung tightly to their bodies as they worked up a sweat from their workout. Not that he had taken notice of something like that of course. He was pure in both mind and spirit! His body was a temple, and it would never be tainted with such impure thoughts or desires. Not one bit!

But as he watched them, simply out of boredom and nothing more, he managed to hear a part of their conversation. They were talking excitedly about their weekend plans. Pfft, how boring. But from the minor details he managed to overhear, there was supposedly a very famous spot in one of the shops downtown among the middle school and high school girls of the area. A nice little secluded spot on the second floor by the book section, a spot most people never ventured to. Just perfect enough for certain couples who felt brave enough to display their "feelings" out in the open to go to.

When he had heard this, Hifumi had gone into a frenzy. Well, almost a frenzy. He had felt enraged, but he had kept it to himself. He couldn't blow his cover and get chased off school grounds again.

He was still enraged. It was just as he thought! 3D girls were nothing but vulgar creatures! Talking and laughing about such matters! How terrible! They were the exact opposite of the pure creatures found in the world of 2D. They could never hope to match the purity that was found in the 2D. Never!

Hifumi had been sickened to his stomach. To make matters worse, this was all happening in the presence of literature. A place of study! Hifumi had never visited the shop in question before, but if it held any sort of decent standing then he was sure the shop must be selling his works too. This meant that these impure creatures were carrying out such affairs in front of his noble works!

Unforgivable!

Hifumi wasn't going to let such a crime stand! Not a chance! That's why he headed straight for that shop after school, waiting to see if any couple would dare to sully his work while he was around. It wasn't as if he was there to spy on them. Of course not! Again, Hifumi was beyond such desires. He was no mere human, after all. The fact that he kept his face pressed up against the bookshelf as he tried to peer to the other side with a notepad in hand meant nothing. He was most certainly not going to take notes of what he saw to study later.

A couple of pictures might help too…..

Again, just for scientific purposes. Nothing more. Promise.

So he waited, making sure to keep himself hidden in the narrow corridor of the bookshelves, his breath ragged with anticipation. That probably would have given him away, but after two hours of not seeing anyone that anticipation started to die down.

Had the girls been lying to him? Was that it? That had to be it! Those vile creatures, they must have known he was listening in to their conversation and led him astray! What other explanation could there be?

'Oho, how clever of them.' Hifumi clenched his fists in irritation. 'I let my guard down. How foolish of me!'

He should have known better than to listen to the mere gossip of the 3D crowd.

This didn't stop him from feeling disappointed. A part of him had wished for the rumor to be true, but what could he do. With his shoulders sagging, Hifumi was about to call it quits and resume with his original plans for the night.

But then he heard it. Footsteps coming from the stairs and into the main pathway in the middle of the bookshelves. Hifumi was able to make out two voices, one female and the other male.

Was this it!?

Hifumi's heart started beating faster and faster inside his chest. His palms started getting sweaty. The sweat only increased when he noticed that the pair was heading straight for the infamous corner that the girls from his school had talked about.

Were these two a couple!?

'How dare they-!'

Hifumi started to press his face hard against the bookshelf again as he desperately tried to see what was going on the other side. Now that they were closer, he could better make out their voices. He had no idea what they were talking about, but the topic of their conversation didn't seem like the sort of thing a lovey dovey couple would talk about under these circumstances. Not that Hifumi had firsthand experience with dating, but he was still an expert on the topic!

Anime offered great insight into these types of things.

He was getting off topic again. He needed to stay focus.

Just a bit more. If he could just push the damn books out of the way, he was sure he could get a better view. But he had to be careful. He didn't need to be caught here. He was sure that it would end worse for him than with the girl's track team. Guys could punch harder than girls.

Probably? It wasn't as if a guy had ever punched him before.

And then it happened.

Hifumi almost shrieked when he felt something slam into the bookshelf from the other side. Except it wasn't something. It was someone. By some miracle, Hifumi was able to stop himself from making a sound as he kept his face pressed up against the bookshelf.

What the heck was going on?

"Something like this, maybe." He heard the girl say those words, but he had no idea what she was doing. Wait, who had been slammed into the bookshelf in the first place? Had it been the guy? Or the girl? And what were they doing!?

So many questions, and he needed answers! So without giving it much thought, he shoved the books out of the way so that he could finally see what was happening.

And what he saw almost made him faint.


Naruto's mind was reeling as it tried to catch up with tonight's events.

It was only supposed to be a simple evening. He was meant to hang out with Ibuki and help her out with her "errand." Why she needed his help he still didn't know, but based on what she had just said Naruto was starting to think this had been a setup. He really should have known better. Ibuki was probably the most shrewd out of everyone in their class, apart from maybe Nagito. But that guy was just weird most of the time. Then again, so was Ibuki.

And Nagito hadn't been the one to drag him out here for some reason. That was all Ibuki.

Where was he going with this? Naruto didn't know, and his brain didn't either. All it could focus on was the fact that Ibuki had him pinned against the bookshelf as she locked lips with him. He could have easily broken free if he wanted to of course, but his brain and body were not functioning properly right now. Or rather, they were. They were just doing the exact opposite of what he wanted them to do.

Still, while he was caught off guard, Naruto still enjoyed it, even if he did have many questions. Like, what the heck was going on with him lately? First, there was Kirumi, and then Sonia. And now Ibuki too? Since when was he this popular? Sure, he might be slow sometimes. Sometimes. He could acknowledge that much. But there was no way he could have seen this coming, right? He wasn't at fault here or something, right?

Those thoughts drifted from his mind when he felt Ibuki deepen the kiss even more as she pressed her body even closer to his. It was now that he could tell the differences between the three kisses he had received as of late. Kirumi's had been fleeting. Just chaste, and it had been like a lighting bolt, shocking him but not for long. Sonia's had been more passionate, like a raging river. There had been much emotion in that kiss, and if he would rank the two, he would say he had enjoyed Sonia's more than Kirumi's. Now, with Ibuki, there was also passion, but it was of a different kind. Ibuki's was like a fierce storm. She was not gentle, as Sonia and Kirumi had been. This point was driven home when he felt her sneak her tongue into his mouth.

This was new.

His senses were overloaded. He was being dominated, plain and simple.

But right at that moment, his brain clicked back in place when his ears picked up a noise behind him. When he and Ibuki had made their way to the second floor, Naruto hadn't bothered to take in his surroundings. He had been more preoccupied with his thoughts, and then afterwards with Ibuki. But now that he was finally letting his ninja senses kick in, even if only a little, he was able to sense the presence of a third party. Right on the other side of the bookshelf he was being pinned to.

And they were….breathing heavily?

Hold up.

With his basic cognitive functions returning, Naruto was able to bring his hands up to Ibuki's shoulders to push her back a little. He wouldn't be able to think straight as long as she was kissing him, and damn even as confused as he was about it she was still a good kisser.

Ibuki was left pouting, or something that looked to be a pout, as their kiss was so rudely cut off. But anything she might have said then never came out when she realized why Naruto had pushed her back in the first place. She followed Naruto's line of sight to the bookshelf she had pinned him to, where a pair of eyes was staring at them from the other side.

There was someone watching them.


Hifumi knew he was done for. He never should have shoved the books like that. It left him too exposed. Sure he was able to see the kiss, that had quickly turned into a make out session. And he had enjoyed that. For research purposes of course.

But it had left him exposed.

And now the two were staring right at him, with no books to stand in between them.

Crap.

"What the." Ibuki blinked a couple of times as she tried to process what she was seeing.

She then understandably screamed.

"AAAAHHHH, A PERVERT!"

Naruto had never heard Ibuki screamed that loudly before. Not unless she was singing one of her weird songs. He couldn't blame her, though.

"What the hell are you supposed to be!?" He too felt angry.

Hifumi let out a shriek as he ducked to the floor and began to crawl away, trying to make his escape. If they couldn't see him, they couldn't catch him. That was his line of thinking.

Too bad that he never got very far. He found his path blocked by a very ticked off Naruto and a freaked out Ibuki.

Damn they were fast.

"Ibuki has seen this in the movies before! The lovers' kiss, interrupted by the voyeur! No, wait. Isn't the kiss interrupted by the other love interest? So confusing, without a doubt!"

Naruto felt a headache coming. "Ibuki, this isn't the time."

And they weren't lovers!

"P-Please, don't hurt me!" Hifumi raised his arms in surrender. "I wasn't spying on you, I swear!"

"Oh really?" Did this guy think he was born yesterday? Uzumaki Naruto was no fool! "Hate to break it to you pal, but my master was the biggest pervert around. I know a peeper when I see one."

"Ehehehe, that is true~" Ibuki stuck her tongue out. "Naruto-chan's teacher was a total pervert. He probably would have stolen Ibuki's underwear too. Her purity would have been in danger!"

Naruto wanted to defend Jiraiya, he really did. And while he was sure the old toad sage would never go after someone under 18, in a couple of years he was sure the old pervert would have gladly tried to hit on Ibuki. And every girl in his class.

That's the kind of guy he was.

But that's beside the point. Naruto had another pervert to deal with right now.

"I-It's the truth!" With a confidence he didn't know he had, Hifumi rose to his feet. "Unless you've forgotten where we are, this is a public area! I was merely here to look for a book to buy and bring home with me! That's not a crime, is it!"

A better defense than most perverts had, that's for sure.

"Is that so?" With her hands on her hips, Ibuki leaned forward. "Then why were you looking at my hot kiss with Naruto-chan?"

Woman, don't say it like that! Naruto was trying to look intimating right now. The last thing he needed was blushing up a storm in front of this guy. That would drain whatever fear he could instill into this guy down the drain.

"T-That's not my fault either!" Looking smug, Hifumi raised a finger. "First of all, it was your mistake for coming here to perform such lewd acts. This is a public space. Anyone can come and go as they please. It is not my fault that I just so happened to stumble into the scene like this. In fact, I'm the victim here!"

A victim? As if. Naruto wasn't buying that story. Not for a second.

"Hey, Ibuki is totally justified here!" Ibuki pouted. "Everyone knows this is the secret spot to come and get all wild and crazy with your partner. You don't just stumble into it!"

Say what now? So he had been right! This had been a setup from the start!

Naruto groaned. "Ibuki….."

What the hell had she gotten him mixed into?

Ibuki wasn't finished. "You're lucky Ibuki was too focused on her plan to notice you. Her ears are number one." Her nose then crinkled a little. "But maybe she would have smelled you before she heard you."

True, this guy did smell a little…..funky.

And huh. So they both hadn't noticed this guy. That made Naruto feel a little better….maybe. Not really.

Hifumi huffed. "That's not my problem! You two are the vulgar ones here! Why would I be interested in what you two were doing anyway? My only love is for the 2D! This 3D world can rot for all I care."

2D? What the heck was that?

"Oh my, you're one of those." Ibuki seemed to understand what he was talking about at least. "I think I prefer Teruteru-chan over you."

Woah, that was a low blow right there.

Hifumi didn't get it. "Is that supposed to be an insult? Because let me tell you, my HP won't take a hit from that kind of attack!"

Ibuki hid behind Naruto, her face annoyed. It was the first time Naruto was seeing her like this.

"Yeah, Ibuki does not care for you."

Hmm. Was this only because he had been spying on them? Naruto didn't know. But to get Ibuki of all people to not like you…..well, that was a feat on its own.

Hifumi looked depressed by her words. "L-Like I said, my HP won't be damaged by such a weak attack…..!"

At least get your face to agree with your words first.

Rubbing his forehead, Naruto suddenly felt tired. This was not how he had imagined this night would go.

"Look, just admit you were spying on us and we can drop this."

"Eeeeehhhh~" Ibuki whined. "That's too easy, Naruto-chan! This guy was about to steal Ibuki's innocence. You can't let that go."

What innocence!?

"I resent those words." Huffing again, Hifumi raised his head high. "As I said, I have no interest in the 3D. And that includes you. My tastes are much more refined, which translates into my work! This body of mine contains all that pure and raw emotion!"

What was this guy talking about?

"No way, Ibuki doesn't believe that! Besides, your body is too round. Byakuya-chan is a lot hotter than you."

While Naruto wouldn't exactly put it that way, in a way he agreed with what Ibuki was saying. While Byakuya was certainly fat, that did not mean he was not athletic. It was something he and the others had learned pretty quickly during P.E. when they were made to run again. He was fast. Not as fast as Naruto, Peko, Nekomaru, or Akane, but still. Faster than anyone would ever assume, that's for sure. Apparently his lack of athleticism from before was just another ruse, a trick to help him with his disguise as Ryota. Leave it to the Ultimate Imposter to be that thorough. Now that they knew who he was, he didn't feel the need to hide that part of himself as much. And, as he put it, the real Byakuya was pretty athletic as well. It reminded Naruto a lot of Choji, in all honesty. Both big, but no slouches. It was awesome. It also made him wonder...if Byakuya could change his physical abilities to that extreme, if he ever impersonated Naruto, would he be as fast as the original?

Naruto was going to have to ask him that the next time he saw him.

This guy, on the other hand, appeared to be the exact opposite of that. He too was fat, but unlike Byakuya or Choji, he didn't appear to have an athletic bone in his body.

If he even had a bone. Just how round was he?

"H'mph, make fun of my appearance all you want!" Hifumi pointed at Ibuki, indignant. "However, this current form of mine is but a shell to hide my true appearance underneath! This flesh is a mere mirage, to trick the weak! It does not reflect my true talent!"

Naruto didn't get it. 2D, 3D, and now true forms. He had an easier time understanding Gundham.

"Intense~" Ibuki seemed impressed? "Your Gundham-chan limbo talk would wow anyone. And true form? What does that mean? Do you have a transformation sequence?"

"Pfft, it's nothing that crude, I assure you! It's like I told you, my talent lies in my work!"

Work? What work?

"I can see the confusion in your faces." Hifumi let out something like a snort, only it sounded like it came from a pig, not a human. "It cannot be helped. You don't know my name, after all. And even then, I am like Van Gogh, completely unappreciated in my time!"

Naruto knew he shouldn't, but he nonetheless took the bait. "What kind of work are you talking about here?"

And who was Van Gogh?

"My works are quite simple. They're about embracing our basic urges….."

Why did Naruto not like the sound of that?

"Oh, oh! Ibuki understands!" The girl waved her hand with much enthusiasm. "It's all about perverted stuff, isn't it? You tooootally look the type to write smut!"

Wait, this guy was a writer? Naruto never would have guessed that.

"H'mph, I would expect that sort of misunderstanding from the uneducated. But let me just say this! Once you've observed my work, you will lose all mindless preconceptions about fan fiction!"

Fan fiction? Another word Naruto didn't understand. All of this was just making his head hurt.

"Fan fiction?" At least Ibuki sounded a little confused. "So you're not a real author?"

"How dare you!" Hifumi exploded into anger. "That's a stigma against the greatness of fan fiction! Just because it's not wholly original it does not mean it's not as deserving as other pieces of literature! Don't you dare spout that nonsense in my presence!"

Oh wow. This guy was really mad.

Ibuki didn't even flinch. "Eeeeehhhh, Ibuki doesn't get it. But she won't judge you for your interests. Just for being a dirty peeper."

"Like I said, that's a misunderstanding! Don't categorize me like that!"

Naruto groaned. This was getting them nowhere. There was no point in continuing with this conversation.

"You know what, forget it. There's no point in waiting for an apology from a pervert like you."

"H'mph, there you go again, mislabeling me like that." Hifumi's glasses sparkled. "I will have you correct your weak way of thinking right now! For it is you two who are the perverts here!"

Naruto deadpanned. Was he really trying to shift the blame here?

"We're not falling for that."

"But you must! You two were the ones depicting your perverse desires for everyone to see! You're nothing more than sexual deviants!"

"Ibuki always likes to be in the spotlight, aye."

What the hell was this girl saying!?

This was getting redundant. Naruto already knew what type of guy this was. He would never admit to his wrongdoings.

He did the only logical thing here. He grabbed Ibuki's hand and turned to walk away.

Hifumi looked smug at their retreat.

"I guess my overbearing logic was too much for you, huh. What a disappointment!"

Ibuki looked back at the round teenager. "Hey, Naruto-chan. Can we not kick him?"

She really wanted to kick him. Even if just once.

As much as Naruto wanted to as well, it wouldn't be worth it.

So they left the store without looking back. They didn't stop until they were a couple of streets away. Only then did Naruto pounce on Ibuki, dragging her into a nearby alley with him.

"Oh lalala~" Ibuki didn't look concerned at all, and the grin on her face showed. "Dragging a pure maiden into a dark alley like this? Naruto-chan, that's a crime!"

Naruto almost rolled his eyes. "Don't give me that. What the heck was that all about?"

"How should Ibuki know! She was a victim too, you know! Being spied on like that!"

"That's not what I'm talking about."

The pervert aside, she had kissed him. Rather forcefully too. That was no mere accident. Naruto was already confused enough. He didn't need all this extra baggage right now.

"What do you mean?" Ibuki's face was full of genuine confusion. "We kissed. You know what that is, don't you?"

Gah, she was so infuriating sometimes.

"Yes, I know what that is."

"So?"

So!?

"So why did you do it?"

He wasn't speaking in a different language, right? She could understand him, couldn't she? It was just a simple question!

"Because Ibuki wanted to, duh. What kind of question is that, Naruto-chan?"

This girl….!

"You can't just-!" Naruto ran his hands through his hair in annoyance. "Do you think that clears anything up?"

"It should." Ibuki shrugged, not understanding the boy's frustration. "When you want to do something, you do it. Is that weird?"

Is this the way people felt when he said similar things? Now he could understand why Sakura and Shikamaru were always frustrated with him in the past.

"You shouldn't overthink things, Naruto-chan. It doesn't suit you." The blond spluttered as the girl happily poked his cheek a couple of times.

"But…..what does this make us?"

"Eh? We're friends. What else?" She gasped as she took a dramatic step back. "Don't tell me….you're breaking up with poor Ibuki! You don't want to be her friend anymore? Is that it! But that's no good. You can't get rid of Ibuki that easily, Naruto-chan. It's like when you get a piece of meat stuck in your teeth, only not as gross. Ehehe, but Ibuki is so clever for coming up with that example."

Naruto just stared at her. What kind of friends kissed like that….?

He was missing something here, wasn't he?

"Come on, what are we doing talking out here for. The night is still young! And Ibuki wants to go singing. To a karaoke bar!"

This time, it was Naruto who was dragged off by the energetic girl as the two continued on their trek through the city.

They never did get the book Ibuki had been looking for.


"This is a stupid plan."

"We gotta start somewhere."

"So you chose Peko?"

"I mean…..if you're there, she's gotta listen, right?"

"I don't think you understand how this works, you dumbass."

"Quit bitching and help me out here. I don't have a lot of time right now. I was just barely able to see Kurama before coming over here. Good thing Gundham is always up early, even on a Saturday."

"Is that where you picked up this other fool along the way?"

"Hey, I resent that! I'm only here to watch Uzumaki crash and burn."

"Thanks, Kazuichi. Means a lot to me, bud."

"Don't give me that look! Kuzuryu is right. Pekoyama is scary. She can probably kill us in a dozen different ways and make it look like an accident."

"A lot more than a dozen, actually."

"Don't smirk when you say that, you damn yakuza! I don't plan on dying yet!"

"Then why the hell did you follow me over here?"

"Because this can only end in two different ways. The first, Pekoyama kills you. That will make me laugh."

"Fuck you."

"The other way is that she agrees and we'll get to see her in a bikini later. I can't pass on that opportunity! Besides, I'm bored. I got nothing to do today."

"T'ch, I should kill you for that second part."

"Calm down, Kuzuryu. I already know you and Pekoyama got your thing. I'm not gonna interfere. Miss Sonia is the only girl for me! I'm just here to admire. Nothing wrong with that! It's what we gotta do, as high school boys! It's our duty!"

"There you go with that crap again. It's no wonder that broad chose Uzumaki over you."

"H-Hey, easy now. Don't hurt my feelings. Besides, she hasn't chosen anyone yet! I can still win this!"

"You keep telling yourself that. Now, about this stupid plan of yours-"

"It isn't stupid! It's amazing!"

"Were you dropped as a baby or something-?"

"GOD, WILL YOU IDIOTS SHUT UP!?"

The three boys all jumped up to their feet as the sliding door to the room was angrily shoved open. Standing on the doorway was none other than a red-faced Natsumi who was still wearing her pajamas. They were fluffy and pink, totally the opposite of what Naruto would expect her to wear.

It was a sight Kazuichi made sure to record in his brain, even as frightened as he was by her tone.

"Some of us are trying to get some sleep here!"

"Natsumi." Fuyuhiko deadpanned. His room was right next to hers, and they weren't exactly being quiet. But still. "You know you can't just barge in here like that."

The blonde didn't care for his tone, not in her current mood. "Then stop making so much noise! I'm glad you have friends now, onii-chan, even if they're idiots who know nothing." Ouch, Naruto knew that was a dig at him. And wasn't she avoiding him? "But that doesn't mean you can mess with my sleep. I like to enjoy my Saturday mornings."

Fuyuhiko snorted at that. "Enjoy? Enjoy what? You always wake up till noon."

"Exactly!"

Well then.

"Sorry, Natsumi." Naruto looked sheepish as he scratched the back of his head. "We'll try to keep it down."

The girl huffed as she crossed her arms. "You're already suicidal anyway. I guess waking me up early wouldn't matter to you, huh."

Suicidal?

Oh.

Naruto blushed a little. "So you heard."

"Heard what? How you're trying to get your female classmates to enter some beauty contest or whatever? Loud and clear, buddy. I know the piece of trash next to you is hopeless, but I thought you were at least better than that."

"Hey!" Kazuichi had to defend himself from that remark. Did no one care that he was in the room? And also, wasn't this the first time they were speaking? So how was he already a piece of trash to her!?

The world didn't make any sense.

"I-It's not like that at all!" Naruto denied it. "This is just something the student council wants me to put together! To make things more exciting!"

It wasn't like he had been the one to come up with this.

Kazuichi swooned. "And exciting it will be."

A beauty pageant with the girls in their class? And possibly even the rest of the school? It was almost enough to make Kazuichi faint with anticipation. Of course, when he actually saw it, he would faint right then and there. But until then…..!

Fuyuhiko shot his sister a smirk. "Why don't you participate? I'm sure that would make some of the girls in the Reserve Course feel less hesitant to join in."

Natsumi's face darkened. "And be ogled by a bunch of stupid perverts? No thank you. It's bad enough you have these two in our house. I don't need to deal with any other idiots if I don't have to."

Kazuichi was just glad she was lumping Naruto in with him. Justice was sweet.

"Suit yourself." Fuyuhiko didn't care one way or another. "I still think Peko is the wrong person to start with. Anyway, didn't you tell me you were hanging out with Mioda last night? Why didn't you ask her? I'm sure she would have agreed if you asked her."

"Oh yeah." Kazuichi rubbed his chin in thought as he frowned. "She asked you out. I almost forgot about that."

Naruto had to look away from the two boys.

"I was…..distracted."

Another understatement of the year right there. Who knew you could use your tongue like that? He was still thinking about it, embarrassingly enough.

Kazuichi's eyes narrowed. "That sound suspicious."

Something in his gut was telling him that there was more to this than just merely being "distracted."

"Wait, wait. Someone actually asked you out on a date? A living, breathing girl asked you out on a date?" Natsumi grinned, like she was thinking of the most hilarious joke in existence. "I can't believe it. I guess some people really are desperate, huh?"

Naruto didn't bother to say anything back, just simply looking away from the girl. His head was already jumbled with his own insecurities. He didn't need Natsumi's vindictive words to get mixed in too.

"T'ch, you can never learn to keep your fucking mouth shut." Unlike Naruto, Fuyuhiko didn't hesitate to berate his sister. "Get the fuck out. We won't keep you up any more. That's good enough, right?"

Natsumi glared at her brother before directing it at the whiskered blond. But that glare wilted slightly when she noticed the somewhat painful look on Naruto's face.

For a moment, she opened her mouth again to say something but closed it back up before walking away back to her room. She didn't need this melodrama so early in the morning.

With a grunt, Fuyuhiko walked over to the door and shut it.

"Sorry about that. Little sisters can be a pain in the ass."

"Nah, don't worry about it." Kazuichi grinned a little. "She's got nothing on Saionji and her usual remarks."

Fuyuhiko shook his head at this. "The fact that you're getting used to that is concerning."

"I-I'm not getting used to anything! I'm just saying!" Fuyuhiko didn't look convinced, which made the mechanic sulk a little. "Ugh, lay off. It doesn't matter anyway. We have a mission to complete right now."

Naruto sighed a little as he put Natsumi out of his mind for now. He gave Kazuichi a somewhat defeated look.

"You're going to make this more complicated than it has to be, aren't you?"

To his credit, Kazuichi looked completely innocent.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Right. And Naruto was part alien.

"Thankfully, you can't ruin this, no matter how hard you try. For you see! I have a plan."

Those words did little to convince Fuyuhiko that this wouldn't be a massive pain in the ass.


"Yo, Peko-chan! How's the weather?"

"God fucking dammit."

Fuyuhiko felt like slamming his head against the wall as Naruto so casually greeted the sitting Ultimate Swordswoman who in the midst of her morning training session inside her personal dojo within the compound.

For her part, Peko didn't look annoyed as she looked up from her morning meditation, her sword sheathed next to her on the floor. She was wearing a traditional kendo uniform, save for the pads and the protective head gear. As with most things, it made her look dignified and proper. She was stoic, but Naruto knew that underneath that stoicism was a fierce fire ready to engulf anything or anyone foolish enough to stand in its way.

It was pretty cool.

"Naruto. Good morning." Peko allowed a small smile to form. "Sorry for not greeting you at the door. I have a morning routine that I like to follow."

"Even on a Saturday?" Kazuichi couldn't believe it. "Man, you're so serious all the time. You should cut back, at least a little."

"Good morning to you as well, Soda." Peko tilted her head in his direction. "I appreciate the suggestion, but this is comforting for me. A routine allows me to stay focus."

"Yeah, but that can also make you unable to adapt to new situations," Naruto said. "You should always be flexible so that you can adjust to whatever may come your way."

Crossing his arms, Fuyuhiko raised an eyebrow. "Why can't you say shit like that all the time? Instead, we have to constantly listen to you bitch about ramen."

It wasn't bitching! Naruto just wanted the yakuza to understand ramen's true greatness!

Peko chuckled. "Rare as it may be, Naruto does provide useful insights."

Man, even Peko was teasing him? So unfair.

"What can I do for you?" Standing up, Peko once again studied the three boys before her. "I don't think you would come and seek me out unless you needed something."

"That's cold, Peko-chan. We're all friends. Why wouldn't we want to hang out with you?"

"True, but I sense there's a purpose for you coming here other than to just hang out. Are you seeking assistance for another one of your half-baked ideas?"

Naruto pouted. "That's mean."

"But she does have a point," Kazuichi said. "You barely think things through. I'm surprised you're still alive."

This coming from the idiot who never thought about anything but girls?

Naruto was offended. "Like I said, it's better to be flexible and ready for anything. Coming up with a long plan isn't really my style. I like to keep my options open."

"Lucky for you, the rest of us can pick up the slack in the thinking department," Fuyuhiko joked.

Just keep teasing him, why don't they.

Peko bowed her head a little. "My apologies, I didn't mean it to be an insult. It's just…."

Well, from her point of view, it would do Naruto some good to actually think things through once in a while. She knew exactly the kind of man he was now, and reckless didn't even begin to describe him. He did what he wanted when he wanted. He had little care for authority figures on the best of days, and respect for him meant more than just holding a position of power. While she admired him, she also understood that his way of doing things could ruffle a few feathers.

Actually, more like a lot of feathers. The last thing she wanted was for him to cross the wrong person.

Naruto groaned. "Can we stay focused, please? We can talk about my brilliant brain another time."

"It's like he only hears what he wants to hear, I swear." Fuyuhiko grumbled under his breath.

Peko looked at the blond. "So there is a reason for seeking me out. Let's hear it."

Ah crap. He shouldn't have said that. Oh well. Too late now.

"It's nothing big, really," Naruto started, doing his best to seem nonchalant. "The student council came to me with an offer on how to make the school festival more exciting."

"And it's a great plan." Kazuichi was swooning again.

"I see." Peko didn't know what that had to do with her, though. "What is this offer about exactly?"

Naruto was dreading this point, but it had to be done. Besides, if he was going to suffer, then Sōshun was going to suffer later too. Mutual suffering! Gotta love it.

"Well…..and again, I want you to keep this in mind that this wasn't my idea. If you want someone to point your sword at, then just look for someone called Sōshun. Student council president or something. Always hangs out at his office. Can't miss him! But yeah, his great idea is to have a school pageant to decide who's the prettiest girl in the school, and he thought that some of the girls in our class should participate since we're popular or something. And I immediately thought of you, so what do you say? And please don't cut me up. Again, not my idea."

"You know, we have got to work on your public speaking skills," Fuyuhiko said, his voice flat.

Give him a break. The girl had a sword next to her! She had already shown she was quite deadly with it too. Naruto didn't want his guts sliced open due to someone else's stupid plan.

"A pageant?" Peko tested the word for a few moments, which made Naruto mentally sigh in relief. Hey, she didn't look angry or raise her sword at him. Progress!

Kazuichi was sort of disappointed by this, but also hopeful! Did this mean Peko was considering it?

"What exactly is a…..pageant?" Peko asked, her face marred with curiosity.

Naruto blinked a couple of times. "You don't know what a beauty pageant is?"

Granted, he didn't have firsthand experience with a pageant, but he still knew what it was.

"Am I supposed to?"

Fuyuhiko shook his head. "You have to get out more, Peko."

"My apologies! I guess I should have studied more….."

No, this wasn't about studying.

But now Naruto was in a conundrum. How best to explain what a pageant was to her? In a way that made her want to do it? And didn't get him killed.

"My dear Pekoyama, it's all quite simple." Naruto almost cursed when Kazuichi started speaking. The mechanic was shaking his head, amused. "It's like Uzumaki said. It's a contest, one of beauty. It's one of the most important fights in the world! A long honored tradition that has been passed down through the ages! For as long as recorded history has existed our ancestors have fought and struggled through the beauty pageant! You want to be a part of that, don't you?"

"Beauty?" Peko tilted her head. "I don't understand. How can beauty be judged?"

"There are different ways. It just depends on how the judges go about it." Kazuichi looked absolutely happy and smug. "Me, personally, I would go with very high level events. I'm not sure if you could handle it, but…"

What was this smug bastard trying to do now?

Peko's eyes narrowed a little. "Is that a challenge?"

Ooooohhhh. Kazuichi was appealing to the warrior inside of her. Smart. Stupid and dangerous, but also smart.

Kazuichi grinned as he gave her a thumbs up. "You want to prove me wrong?"

Peko didn't like the way Kazuichi was acting. Most of all, she didn't like the way he was trying to belittle her. That's why, against her better judgement, she stood her ground and said, "Fine. I'll take part in this pageant of yours, and I'll show you that I'm more than capable."

Oh boy, she was serious, wasn't she?

Stepping closer to Naruto, Fuyuhiko whispered, "Should we be worried? She didn't think this through."

Naruto shrugged and whispered back, "Hey, we told her it was about beauty. I wash my hands of this."

"Lazy bastard."

He was anything but!

"Frigging awesome!" Kazuichi was more ecstatic about her answer. He couldn't contain his grin. "I have so much to show you, Pekoyama! Come, we have much research to do!"

"Hmm, yes. Research." Peko understood the reasoning behind it. After all, she didn't even know what a beauty pageant was. If she was to be true to her words, she would need more intel. "Very well, Soda. I shall follow your lead on this matter."

Okay, now Naruto was a little worried. Kazuichi wouldn't do anything too stupid…..would he?

'What am I thinking? Of course he will.'

But he had done his part. He had gotten Peko to agree to take part in the pageant to decide who the most beautiful girl at Hope's Peak Academy was.

He just hoped she didn't come to regret it.


"Look Naruto! There are so many horses here! Incredible!"

When that morning came to a close and his visit to the Kuzuryu compound ended, Naruto found his day taking another turn. One he didn't mind in the slightest.

He smiled when he saw just how enthusiastic Sonia was as they entered the well-kept ranch, with the main attraction being the horses that one could ride. They were drawing several eyes from the other would-be riders in the ranch, and he couldn't blame them. While he was dressed in a pair of jeans and an orange polo shirt and Sonia in her brightly colored jeans and cute white blouse, the limousine they arrived in was enough to give them away that they weren't average customers. Mind you, he was.

Sonia, however, was a full-bred princess.

'A princess that wants to go horse riding for a date.'

Sonia was definitely unique. When she had asked him out, Naruto thought that he would have been the one to plan this out for them. Turns out, the princess had other ideas. Not that he minded really. If she was happy, then he was happy. Besides, he was looking forward to this himself. He had never ridden a horse before, as there was no need for him to. Not with his training and speed. Still, this was the sort of activity that he would enjoy the most. Being out here in nature, he was in his element. He was just glad Sonia had taken a liking to the outdoors since their camping trip.

The ranch was huge, and the property it was on was even bigger. There was a private trail set up by the owners apparently. It was very popular around here. Not that Naruto would have ever known about it if Sonia hadn't taken him here. He couldn't use his phone to look up this sort of stuff. Good thing Sonia had him covered there. Clumsy as she could be sometimes, she was still more adapted than he was with modern technology.

Taking in a deep breath, Naruto smiled. Oh yeah, he was definitely a lot more comfortable here. For one thing, he was certain this was a date, and he planned to enjoy it to the fullest.

'I should bring Kurama here sometime.'

He was sure the little fox would have a grand time. That was for another day, though.

Today, he and Sonia would be enjoying themselves.

The pair got themselves saddled and ready to go. Since Sonia had made reservations for them, their horses had been prepped and ready to go when they arrived. They were given some of the best horses the ranch owned, since supposedly Sonia had been rather generous with her payment to them.

"I don't know how I'm going to plan anything better than this for our next date," Naruto joked as he and Sonia got ready to set out.

Sonia smiled. "I'm sure you'll think of something. As long as I'm with you, I do not really mind. Besides, I should be the one thanking you for indulging me today."

Gah, when she smiled like that she looked too beautiful. Naruto had never focused on it before, but now that he was keenly aware that they were on a date he couldn't help it. It helped that she had the sort of spirit that he liked. He couldn't deny that he was definitely attracted to her, on some level.

He quickly recovered. "I'm not lacking on money myself, ya know. Be ready to be swept off your feet next time."

The princess giggled. "I'm looking forward to it. But for now, shall we ride?"

Naruto bowed in a teasing manner.

"As you say, my princess."

Normally, Sonia wouldn't think much of such a gesture. However, with her dream still fresh in her mind, she had to blush a little. Thankfully, Naruto wasn't able to see it as he had his head lowered and she quickly hid it.

This was most certainly going to be an interesting ride for the two of them.


Naruto could say one thing: he preferred horses a lot more than he did cars. Of course, the fact that he was out in the middle of a beautiful trail didn't hurt either. Seriously, this place was amazing! The trail cut right through a small forest with several small streams and even some small hills for a diverse path. Unfortunately, it didn't include any mountains, but Naruto couldn't complain.

He was once again impressed with Sonia's physical abilities as the princess rode on with no problems. She was a better rider than him, honestly, but given that this was his first time that wasn't all that shocking.

"Did your kingdom teach you to ride horses too?" he asked as they traversed through one of the small streams. The water looked beautiful, and he was tempted to stop and enjoy it for a couple of minutes.

"Yes. My training included several lessons in horse riding. It is mostly ceremonial these days, but I still believe it is a useful skill to have."

Naruto couldn't agree more. The basics were always important, if not boring. He was sure his younger self would have disagreed with that, though.

"Are you curious about my homeland, Naruto?"

The way she asked him that gave the blond some pause, but he didn't dwell on it.

"A little, yeah. Most countries in this world don't function like your kingdom does." He scratched his cheek in embarrassment. "Not that I understand politics much."

Sonia looked amused. "It is the complete opposite of me. I have been surrounded by politics all my life."

"It must be hard."

"It is. But it is as I told you before. I have a duty to my people, and I will fulfill it to the best of my abilities."

Naruto could admire her determination. "Then your people are lucky to have a great princess who cares about them."

Once again, the praise made her blush. This time, there was no way for her to hide it quickly enough. So when Naruto saw her reaction, he started blushing too.

"I-I mean, ya know. I-In a general sense. Y-Yeah."

What the heck was he saying!?

Sonia tried to get her red cheeks under control. "I appreciate those words. From what you told us, it seems like your village's leaders were of similar mindset."

Naruto frowned somewhat as his embarrassment receded. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean they didn't make mistakes either."

Sonia looked at him, her eyebrow raised. "What sort of mistakes?"

"I'll tell you more later. I don't want to ruin the mood with that kind of talk."

Sonia almost pouted. She wanted to know more! She had to be more patient it seemed. She could do that, even if it was a little frustrating.

"So what else can you tell me about your kingdom?" Naruto asked, changing the subject. "Other than the weapons training and horse riding lessons."

Sonia thought about it for a moment. Where could she begin?

"Our Novoselic Kingdom is an extremely small country, so much so that it is often overlooked by cartographers."

Cartographers…..those were the map making people, right? Naruto was seventy six percent sure he was right about that.

"It is governed by an absolute monarchy, as you know. Though our population may be low, our economy has been thriving. There are no immediate threats at the moment. For many generations now the royal family has protected the kingdom and its people from neighboring countries. It is because of this that the people have come to wholly trust the royal family. Oh, and also chocolate is one of our kingdom's hidden specialties."

Chocolate? Naruto mused this for a moment, finding it kind of random. But with the way Sonia's eyes lit up when she said that, he was also curious.

"I might have to try this chocolate of yours one day."

"Fo' sho! I can have a lifetime's worth here by tomorrow!"

"You don't have to go that far."

He didn't have that much of a sweet tooth.

"Did you grow up in a castle?" That was his next question. It was the first thing that came to mind when he thought of the word princess.

Sonia nodded enthusiastically. "Of course! The royal family has been living in the same castle for over a thousand years! Hopefully you will be able to see it for yourself one day. Though it may be small and old, it is truly a wonderful, historic building."

Holy shit, a thousand years? Sonia's family was really old.

"It's a good thing I know the princess then," Naruto joked. "Getting in shouldn't be too hard."

"Indeed!" Sonia beamed. "I can offer you a private tour as well!"

A private tour, she said. Oh boy….no wait! Where was his mind going with that!?

'Dammit, I need to stop hanging out with Teruteru and Kazuichi so much.'

Those two were going to corrupt him for sure.

And so, the couple continued on the trail, as Sonia shared more details of her kingdom with him. There was even something called a "Makango," but when he asked her about it directly she had only blushed and said that that should be a topic for another time, lest he get a nosebleed.

It just made him confused. Why would he get a nosebleed? Was it a disease or something? So random. It made him realize that Sonia's kingdom was definitely unique, and he was curious to know more as long as she was willing to tell him.

The pair made it to the halfway point of the trail, which was marked by one of the hills in the area. It was here where the two finally took a break. Not because they needed to, but because they wanted to take in their surroundings more.

Once more, Naruto had to take a deep breath as he stood on top of the hill with Sonia by his side.

"It's beautiful out here."

Sonia marveled their surroundings as well. "Yes. Japan is a beautiful country. Is your home similar to this country?"

Naruto considered her question for a couple of moments.

"In a way. We didn't have tall buildings like in the city, but when I'm out here it's like I'm in the Land of Fire. It's kind of comforting."

Sonia looked away as she rubbed her arm. "You are homesick, are you not?"

She didn't need to ask really. She could see the answer by the expression on his face.

Naruto's face turned somber. "In a way. I'm still trying to understand my feelings. I'm ready to move on, but at the same time I'm not. It's hard to explain. I don't think I understand it myself."

They already had had this conversation, and their feelings on the matter hadn't changed. Not that Naruto fully realized Sonia's feelings yet, but that was neither here nor there.

"You are allowed to be happy too, Naruto."

He felt the girl grab a hold of his arm as she leaned on his shoulder.

"I've been trying to tell myself that recently." Thanks to Fuyuhiko. "But I also feel like I have a duty, if that makes sense."

"I understand that as well," Sonia said softly. "I have a duty to fulfill too. But were you not the one who said we are allowed to be selfish? If we do not like the destiny before us that we can make one for ourselves?"

She had a good memory.

Naruto chuckled a little. "I have a hard time following my own words sometimes."

"Mhmm, I do too. I told you that I do not mind the duty that has been placed on me. I do not mind that I was born a princess. That I see myself as a ruler first and a person second. That I am ready to put the needs of my people before my own."

It was a heavy burden to bear.

"Sometimes people have thought of me as a cold woman because of my outlook," she told him. "Because I try to see the bigger picture."

Sonia? Cold? That was the last word Naruto would use to describe her.

"I have had to think of the well being of so many for most of my life. No, since the beginning. I am grateful for my duty, but sometimes I cannot help but feel resentful. I know it is wrong, but that is the main reason why I decided to study abroad. In a way, I wanted to run away from it all, even if deep in my heart I know I can't."

Naruto's eyes softened. "I wouldn't call it running away, but just deciding for yourself what you want. If you don't want to be a princess, then don't."

Sonia laughed at that. It was soft and not the least bit mocking. "You always make things sound so simple. Although I would say I'm finally doing what I truly want. I do want to be a princess. I do want to lead my people. It might be difficult, I might be in pain, but that does not mean I can discard it."

Naruto could understand that position. "Not many would choose that sort of path."

It was hard because of the duty Sonia was imposing on herself. It came from the thousands of years of tradition. She was choosing to embrace her family's history, to share the pain that those before her had gone through. Naruto didn't think trying to step away from all that was a sign of weakness, and even if it was he would never admonish someone for it. There were many times he had wanted to turn his back on things as well. In the end, it all just came down to choice. He full heartedly believed that people had the right to choose what path they wanted to walk.

The downside was that, often, people chose the wrong path for themselves. His life was full of examples of that. Heck, if it weren't for Iruka and Sasuke, he probably would have traveled the wrong path too. He wasn't any different in that regard either.

"You decided to embrace your inner demons." Sonia's voice was lighthearted as she said that. It made Naruto chuckle a little too, knowing what she was referring to, or in this case who. "I guess I don't want to fall behind. I'm going to make the most of what I can do, and that includes choosing who's going to stand beside me. Do you think….do you think that you can help me with that?"

Naruto didn't hesitate.

"Of course! You can always count on me, Sonia. That's a promise."

Too bad he missed the glint in her eyes when he said that. Not that it probably would changed anything for him.

And so, the pair enjoyed their time on the hill as they basked in all the nature. The two of them were walking a thorny path, but somehow through luck or destiny they had been able to cross paths at this point in time. That was something they were both grateful for, as they were able to lean on one another for comfort.

They didn't know it yet, but this would become something for both of them to remember in the future.


I remember how some people were surprised that the first 78th class member I showed was Hiro of all people. Junko doesn't count, since that was just a phone call. I'm sure many will feel a similar surprise at my inclusion of Hifumi here. Those two are just really funny to me, and I feel like they don't get enough appreciation in the fandom. Neither is close to being my favorite, but when I started this story I knew I wanted to show attention and love to some of the less popular characters. Maybe change some minds. It's a fool's errand probably, but it's still fun.

Ibuki on the other hand is already popular. She doesn't need any help from me. I've said this before, but it's difficult for me to write her. It doesn't help that her personality is the exact opposite of mine, so trying to step into her mind is a real challenge. She's a free spirit and wears her heart on her sleeve. I would say she's more honest than even Naruto is. That's why she's always throwing him off. With that, I will also say that I've always pictured Ibuki as one to never really get hung up on "relationships." She just does what she feels is right, and labels have little meaning to her.

Well, that's it for now. This little side-arc ain't finished yet. The school festival dawns closer, and now Peko is in the beauty pageant. What will Kazuichi teach her? And more importantly, will he survive?

Till next time.