The Dreaded Authors Note That No One Really Reads (TDANTNORR): I think this chapter is really bad actually. Someone mentioned to me and it wasn't in a review, so I can't remember where it came from / that my story was like the Harry Potter version of The Parent Trap, so I decided to run with it. Sorry it took me so long to update, but I tried to make this not suck. In this Chapter…we introduce the dreaded NICHOLE! I am OPEN TO IDEAS!

Harry and James had been staying with Lily and Catherine for a little over a week. The twins were inseparable, doing almost everything together. One morning, Catherine woke up quite early, and walked down stairs to the sound of her parents whispering.

"How can you be sure it'll work?" she heard Lily whisper.

"How hard could it be?" replied James.

"You'd be surprised."

"Well, we'll just have to wing it won't we?"

Catherine tried to listen harder. It wasn't like her to eavesdrop, but when your parents are whispering and six o'clock in the morning, in the kitchen, you would want to listen too. As she was listening, she heard a voice behind her say "Morning" and she started.

"Jesus, Harry, don't do that!" she exclaimed, in a whisper.

"Sorry, Catherine, what are you doing? And why are we whispering?"

"I'm listening to Mom and James."

"Why? What are they saying?" Harry whispered in curiosity.

"They were talking about something that may be impossible or difficult."

"What was it?"

"I don't know. I think I missed that part,"

She decided to give up and walk into the kitchen. James was facing the door, and Lily had her back to them. James cleared his throat, and Lily stopped talking immediately and turned around.

"Morning, kids," she said, nonchalantly.

"Morning, Mom. What were you guys talking about?" asked Catherine, sitting down at the table.

"Nothing important. What do you want for breakfast?" asked Lily, in an attempt to change the subject.

"Er…just an apple or something," said Catherine. James stood up, went to the fruit basket and tossed her one.

"Same for me, thanks," answered Harry, catching the apple James tossed at him.

"Seriously, what were you guys whispering about? I would have heard it if Harry hadn't interrupted my eavesdropping," said Catherine, biting her apple.

"Catherine Eliza, you know you shouldn't eavesdrop." Reprimanded Lily.

"Well, if you heard your divorced parents whispering in the kitchen, you'd listen too," said Catherine as James whispered a slight "That's my girl"

"Shut up, James." Lily said,

"What did I do?" James said taken aback,

"You know exactly what. Why do you encourage unacceptable behaviour to our children?"

"Oh come on, Lily, Catherine knows I was only joking, don't you Kat?'

"I am definitely staying out of this one." Catherine said, grabbing her apple and walking out of the room, followed closely by Harry.

Catherine flopped down on the settee in the living room and flipped on the television and watched, munching on her apple.

"What's wrong, Catherine?" asked Harry, sitting down next to her.

"Why are they always fighting? Jesus, can't they just ignore each other or something?" she answered, indignantly, biting her apple with gusto.

"I don't know. They are divorced. This could be half the reason." Answered Harry.

"Well, that, and that they apparently hate each other." Replied Catherine. She turned her head to face her brother, before speaking again, "Sucks, huh?"

"Yeah, just a little bit," replied Harry.

They sighed, slumped down and took another bite of the apples they were eating and stared at the television. Lily came out of the kitchen and stood with her hands on her hips.

"If you think you're going to be sat in front of that telly all day, you've got another thing coming. Get up, go get dressed now!" said Lily

Catherine and Harry sighed, and stood up. Catherine gave her mother a look and then turned to follow Harry.

"What was that look, young lady?" asked Lily.

"This is my face, it wasn't a look," Catherine answered.

"What's wrong, Sweet?" asked Lily, her look softening. It wasn't like Catherine to eavesdrop, or to glare at her mother. Catherine turned around slowly.

"You want to know what's wrong?"

"Um…yes…hence my question 'what's wrong?'"

"Look, James shows up here and boom-boom, you're like…Miss Perfect 2000. Like you've never made a mistake."

Lily stopped and thought for a moment.

"Am I really being that bad?" She asked, finally.

"Uh…yeah. You're acting like Harry is going to be some sort of serial killer or something." Catherine nearly shouted.

"Jesus, I didn't even think about that." Said Lily, slapping her forehead.

"Apparently. Look, Harry and I are going out. I'll call Jess or Hillary or something, and we'll go somewhere. Mom, I'm begging you. Please do not kill James. Do not drown him in the bath; do not suffocate him with a pillow. Don't even go near him, okay?"

"Sometimes I wonder who's the mother in this arrangement."

"It could be worse. I could tell you to leave the curtains open, and not to suck his face off," said Catherine, smiling.

"Oh, gag me." Lily said, rolling her eyes, "Now get out of here."

Catherine grinned and ran up the stairs, and banged on Harry's door, calling his name.

"Hold on a minute, I don't have a shirt on." Harry called from the other side of the door.

"Well, I'll just tell you through the door then. Mom says she'll stop treating you like an escaped bank robber, and we're going out with Jess or Hillary or Mike."

"Sounds good. Now get out of here and go get ready."

Catherine patted the door, and ran up to her room and got changed. She donned a green tank top, and blue jeans. She wrestled her difficult hair into a ponytail and rushed down the stairs, banging into James.

"Oops, sorry, James," she said, moving to hurry past him.

"Wait, Kat, just a second," James said, getting her attention. She turned around and looked at him, expecting him to say something. He cleared his throat and looked at her, "Thanks for that. Talking to your Mum. Just…thanks." James said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Um… no trouble James, really." Catherine said, and then hurried downstairs.

She came in the kitchen to see Jess sitting with Harry, making small talk. She smirked and walked over to the pair of them.

"Morning Jess, what's up?" Catherine asked in confusion, "Wait…better question, why are you here?"

"Fighting parents, thrown pottery. I'll have to go back later and assess the damage, but for now, I didn't want my head taken off by a flying wok." Explained Jess.

"Your parents throw saucepans at each other?" asked Harry in confusion

"No. At walls and stuff. I wish they would just divorce already. I can handle it. Custody weirdness and everything." Jess explained.

"Yeah…custody weirdness," said Catherine, sitting down, and folding her arms.

"Right, sorry Katie-babe." Apologized Jess.

"It's okay. Those stupid judges are…retarded." Said Catherine.

"Well, at least you're not alone. The divorce rate in this country is fifty-two percent." Said Jess. She was incredibly intelligent, but did not often think about what she was saying.

"Jess, shut up!" Catherine nearly shouted, "Come on, let's go get coffee or something." She said, standing up.

"The queen has spoken." Jess said, standing up also. Harry did the only thing he could do.

"Very funny, Jess." Said Catherine, "Oh, by the way, Jess, this is Harry, my brother. Harry, this is Jess, my best friend." She said, motioning to the both of them. "Wait…Jess…who let you in?"

"Some guy that looks like him. I said 'hey' and walked past him, said hi to Lily, and sat down talking to him." Jess explained motioning to Harry, nearly smacking him once or twice.

"Uh huh." Catherine said, and walked out the kitchen door. Harry and Jess followed her out, and they began walking up the street. Jess walked in the middle and linked arms with them both.

"How cool is this? This is like the Parent Trap, only you guys knew each other existed."

"Yeah, and we aren't attempting to get our parents back together, and our father doesn't have some insane girlfriend." Catherine said.

"Well, actually…" Harry said, quietly.

"James has a girlfriend? When did this happen?"

"Uh…a few months ago. Some girl Sirius set him up with. Her name is Nichole. Nichole McLaggen." Explained Harry.

"Oh man, your mom is going to be steamed." Observed Jess.

"Why would she be?"

"Well, Lily is incredibly competitive. How do you think she'd react if her ex-husband, not only gets serious with a chick before she hooks up with a guy? Not only that, but she doesn't know."

"Okay, my mother is not that shallow. Besides, she's dated, and I am almost positive, judging by the reason that they broke up, this Nichole woman cannot be the first girl he's ever hooked up with. I'm sure she's figured that out. Am I right?" Catherine explained.

"Um…yes." Harry said, "But, Nichole is the first girlfriend Dad's had since the first one, who I don't remember, but there is a reason Lily left, and I blame the first one." Explained Harry.

They walked along the road, discussing the implications of the new information involving a certain Nichole MacLaggen. She was Scottish. She had brown hair and eyes. She also had a son.

"He is a big, ugly wanker," Harry said. Jess giggled at the term, "Seriously, he keeps trying out for the Quidditch team as a beater. Fair enough, man, but he starts bossing everyone else around. He even tried to boss Oliver Wood around a couple years ago."

"Oh man. That sucks. Sorry, dude." Jess said.

"Yeah, sorry." Catherine put in.

"Hey, Catherine, you are aware that if Nichole and Dad get married, you'll be related to the wonderful Cormac MacLaggen too, right?"

"So what? I'll still be living with Mom over here." Catherine said, somewhat sadly.

Harry shrugged. Jess looked at them both with concern. They just continued to walk in silence until Catherine's mobile began to ring.

"What the bloody hell is that?" Harry asked, jumping three feet in the air at the sound.

Jess giggled a little at Harry, and watched as Catherine flipped open her phone.

"Hello?…Hi Mom, what's up?…what?…are you joking?…Well, Harry just told me…two seconds ago, literally…Mom, calm down, we'll be home in a second, we're just up the street…Stay calm…don't do that, just stay there…we'll be home…bye, Mom." Catherine flipped her phone shut and turned to Harry.

"We have to go home, now," Catherine said.

"Why?" asked Jess, slightly put out.

"Because, that Nichole chick, yeah, she is definitely at our house."

"Are you kidding? She was not supposed to be here. She was going to spend time with Cormac or whatever she was going to do. Lily's going to blow a casket." Harry said, entirely too fast.

"Well, the casket is blown. That's why we're headed home now. Jess, you should come too. You'll talk a lot and either cheer Mom up, or keep Nichole busy." Catherine said, also entirely too fast.

They all stared at one another for a moment, and then turned around and hurtled back to the house. They turned the corner and the three of them tanked down the pavement, until they turned up the drive and hurtled through the front door. The three of them skidded to a halt in front of the kitchen entryway and stared. There, seated, was a brunette woman, a very good-looking brunette woman. Standing behind her was a boy, a little older than the twins. He had auburn hair, and blue eyes. He looked at the three kids in the hallway as if they were insane.

"Well, in her defence, she is spending time with her son," Jess whispered,

"Not helping, Jess," Catherine said, then cleared her throat, "Ahem, hey," she said to the brunette woman.

"Oh, you must be Catherine. Oh aren't you pretty with your long black hair," Nichole said, stroking her hair.

"Uh…yeah. Where's James?" She said, shaking her off.

"Calling your own father by his first name?" She tutted to herself,

"Well, I haven't seen him for fourteen years. I don't think that qualifies me calling him 'Daddy.'" Catherine said, "Sorry, you never told me your name,"

"Oh, how silly of me. I'm Nichole, your fathers girlfriend, and this is my son Cormac," She said, motioning to her son.

"Nice to meet you. Have you met my mother?" Catherine said, somewhat sneakily.

"Um…no, I haven't. Where is she?"

"She probably ran away when she saw Cormac's face." Harry muttered.

"Shove it, Potter," Cormac said, brandishing his fist.

"Oh what are you going to do? Going to threaten me to death?" Harry said

"Boys! Knock it off, k?" Catherine said, putting her hands up, "So, hold on a moment, how on earth did you find us?" Catherine asked Nichole.

"Oh, well you're father gave me the address in case we wanted to write. Such a sweet man." Nichole muttered mostly to herself.

"Aw, thanks Nikki," James said, entering the room again. This time he was fully dressed. He walked over to Nichole and started to kiss her. It grew very sloppy, very quickly and the four children looked on in disgust. When Nichole and James pulled apart, Catherine recovered first.

"Um…well…James? Is Mum around?" Catherine asked, her voice weak.

"Yeah, she's upstairs. Why don't you go take Cormac to meet her? She kind of met Nichole and then took off for some strange reason." James said.

"Oh right," Harry said.

"Come on then, Cormac, is it? You'll love Lily. She's so nice to everyone." Jess said before they headed upstairs.

"Who ARE you?" Cormac asked, looking at Jess.

"Best friend of your mum's boyfriend's daughter," Jess explained.

"Right." Cormac said.

They went up the stairs, and took the left at the landing to get to Lily's room. They all stopped at the door and looked at each other.

"Well, who wants to die first?" asked Jess. Catherine gave her best friend a look before opening the door a crack.

"Mum? Are you in here?" Catherine asked softly.

"Yeah. Don't act sorry, I'm not sad." Lily said. Catherine walked through the door. Harry followed. Jess and Cormac remained outside, feeling it better for Lily to talk to her kids first. Harry and Catherine walked in and saw Lily at her desk, furiously scribbling on a piece of paper. "Hi, kids."

"Hi Mum. How are you?"

"Fine." Catherine and Harry both sent her an identical look, "Really, I am. It just came as a shock,"

"You're not upset in the slightest?" Harry asked

"Of course I'm upset. Just at Nichole and not at the fact of her. I mean what kind of woman shows up at her boyfriends ex's house?"

"The one's like Nichole, apparently." Catherine muttered, "Oh, have you met her kid, Cormac?"

"No, I haven't." Lily said.

Catherine sighed and stood up. She moved to the door and opened it slightly. In walked Jess, followed by Cormac.

"Cormac, Lily. Lily, Cormac." Harry introduced.

"It's nice to meet you," Lily said, "Sorry I didn't stick around to meet you before, but I had some things to take care of up here."

"It's fine. It's really nice to meet you too, Ms. Evans." Cormac said.

"Well, I'd better go down and see what's going on down there." Said Lily, excusing herself, leaving the four kids behind.

"So, Harry. How's Granger doing?" Cormac asked suddenly, with a small smile on his face. Harry's look suddenly darkened as he looked toward Cormac.

"I don't know. Haven't talked to her since school let out. Why?" Harry asked, sternly. Cormac shrugged in response.

"I was just wondering. We had some lovely chats last year." He said.

"What kind of chats?" said Harry defensively.

"You know. A little of this, a little of that, she would come and talk to me when you and Ron got in that row last year." Cormac said, a little maliciously.

"Oh right. Why would she talk to you?" Harry asked. To this, Cormac shrugged and made his way downstairs. Jess followed, leaving the twins behind. Catherine sent her brother a sideways glance and she smiled.

"What?" asked Harry, catching her glance.

"Oh nothing. Someone mentions Hermione and you're suddenly Big-Bad-Wolf." Giggled Catherine.

"So? She's one of my best friends. What am I supposed to do?" Harry asked, again, defensively.

"Well, not bite MY head of for one thing. Second, why don't you just tell her that you like her," suggested Catherine.

"I do not like my best friend," defended Harry, leaving the room.

"Yeah, right. And I'm Maureen O'Hara." Catherine said, following him out. She giggled as she heard him say "who?"

They walked down the stairs, Harry looking stressed, Catherine looking amused. They entered the hall, and turned toward the kitchen. James was sitting at the table and Nichole was standing behind him. Lily was bustling about the kitchen, making tea. Lily and Nichole seemed to be attempting conversation, and James rested his head back on Nichole's chest. Cormac was in a chair, looking smug, and Jess was by the entryway, waiting for Harry and Catherine.

"Hey kids. I'm going to leave; things will get awkward very quickly. I'll go see if woks have stopped flying. I'll call you tonight, Kate." Jess said, before showing herself out. Catherine nodded and stared into the kitchen.

"Well, I hope you can forgive me, but Catherine and I don't live in a large house, and I don't know if we could accommodate you. There are plenty of hotels in town though. Big tourist industry here." Lily said.

"Oh come on, Lil. Nichole can stay in my room, and Cormac can stay with Harry." James suggested.

"What?" Harry and Cormac shouted together.

"No, we couldn't impose like that, Lily. We did show up here without any warning at all. We'll look for a place in town." Nichole said, taking the tea that Lily handed her.

"Always the sweetheart." James said, to Nichole. She bent down and kissed him. The reaction from the rest of the room was not what one would see when you saw a fairly young couple share a kiss. Lily turned away and pursed her lips and looked down. Harry and Catherine looked at each other with lip-curling disgust. Cormac looked past his mother and James and looked at Lily. It was strange, but he seemed to feel sorry for her. He looked back down at his hands. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, James and Nichole broke apart, smiling at each other.

"Well, Cormac, we'd better go find a place to stay." Nichole said, patting James on the shoulder, and moving out behind him,

"I didn't mean to seem rude," said Lily, taking a deep breath, "If you are comfortable with James' suggestion, then, by means, go ahead. In fact, we could move Harry in with Catherine so your son can have his own room."

"Oh no, Lily. I couldn't, really. I don't think you would be comfortable with it, and it is, after all, your house."

"Well, if you're sure," (Nichole nodded here), "Well, I can take you to a lovely place. Not too far and really nice owners." Lily said, grabbing her keys. Nichole and Cormac followed her out the door. Catherine and Harry turned to face James. They both looked at him a minute and then turned around to leave the room. James leapt up and went after them. He caught up with them in the living room.

"Wait, kids, where are you going." James said, grabbing their arms. They glared at him and shook him off and sat down on the couch with stony looks on their faces. "I honestly had no idea that Nichole would show up here. I really didn't, I swear."

"Dad, that was the worst possible thing that could have happened. An earthquake could have swallowed up England, and that still would have been better than what is going on." Said Harry.

"Come on, it is not that bad," James said.

"Well, you're staying at your ex's house. Your girlfriend and her kid, that said ex and daughter knew nothing about, show up at the door. Imagine the ex's surprise when the girlfriend introduces herself to the ex. The daughter nearly had a meltdown when the ex called her in a tizzy from her bedroom." Catherine explained.

"She couldn't expect me to remain alone for the rest of my life, could she?" James said.

"Of course she couldn't. She couldn't expect you to remain monogamous while you were married." Said Catherine, "But, come on, man, have some tact and diplomacy."

"That's hitting below the belt there, young lady."

"You are hardly in a place to 'young lady' me, James." Catherine said, standing up. Harry stood up with her. James sighed and rubbed his head, making his hair stick up more than usual.

"This isn't about Nichole is it, Kat?" James said

"My name isn't Kat, it is Catherine." She said, "and no, it isn't, it's about our mother. It's about our family, if you can call it that."

"What is wrong with our family?"

"We aren't a family. A family knows each other. A family respects each other." Catherine said, before turning around and heading out the door. Harry looked between his sister and his father.

"Look Dad, they didn't know about Nichole, and she showed up. It's not your fault, but…I don't know. I'm going to go get Catherine." Harry said before following Catherine out the door.

James ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He hoped to God his son could talk some sense into his daughter and not the other way around. He turned around to re-enter the kitchen. He opened the cupboard doors and heard the door open up. Lily walked into the kitchen, carrying a brown paper bag. She kept her eyes down and set it on the counter. She shook her red hair out of her face and started emptying the bag, putting things away.

"So, Nichole seems nice," Lily said.

"Hmm?" James said, taken aback by Lily talking to him. "Oh, yeah, she is,"

"She's what, in her early 30s." Lily said.

"Oh, yeah. She is. Couple years below us in school."

"Hmm, funny. Never saw her before in school." Lily said, handing him a dozen eggs to stick in the refrigerator.

"Well you wouldn't have," James said, putting the eggs away, "She was a Ravenclaw. Cormac, he's a year above Harry, and in Gryffindor."

"Oh, that's nice." Lily said, "So, did she explode or walk out?"

"Who?"

"Your mother," Lily joked, "No, Catherine. I saw her walking up the road, venting at Harry."

"Woo, she exploded. I think I nearly had to dive behind the settee."

"You must forgive her. She's gotten this idea in her head that you and Harry will always be there, now that you've shown up," Lily explained.

"Well, won't we?" James asked.

"Of course not, you'll go back to England, and Catherine and I will stay here."

"It doesn't have to be forever. You two can come and visit us at Godric's Hollow. I've managed to keep it clean over the years, even with Sirius keep coming round." James said, laughing.

"That'd be nice." Lily said, thoughtfully. James laughed, and Lily started too.