Disclaimer: I don't own it...and sadly I never will!
STILL IN SIRIUS POV
Harry continued to just look at me with shock, and maybe a bit of confusion. I finally decided to break the silence, "So can I ask how?"
He was quiet for a moment and looked towards his feet,
"Well, I can't explain a lot because it could change the future, and as much as I want that to happen, it would be a problem. You already know too much." I nodded silently urging him to continue, and so he began in a monotonous voice, "I should probably start by saying Voldemort wants me dead. About 16 years ago, something happened. I can't explain why or how, but Voldemort tried to kill me using the killing curse and it backfired. All I got was this scar," he lifted his bangs to reveal the lighting shaped scar, "but Voldemort was reduced to something barely alive. He fled into hiding. When I came to Hogwarts, I confronted him twice before he actually returned to power. That happened when I was 14. No one believed that he returned, besides Dumbledore and them I mean. I was the one to witness it, and the ministry decided that my word was not reliable. They thought I was dangerous...and delusional. Dumbledore reunited the Order of the Phoenix shortly after Voldemort returned. Which you were also in. Anyway, at the end of my 5th year, Voldemort sent me a vision that he had captured you. And me stupidly believing that it was real went out to save you." Harry began shaking his head and managed to choke out, "Hermione warned me. She told me I was 'acting the hero' again, and playing into his hands. I was too stubborn to believe her. I tried to check for you, I did. Kreacher told me you had gone there."
He choked back his sob and I put my arm around him carefully, it seemed to calm him some because he began to speak again. "Anyway, I went off to save you. Dragging others along in the process, but not intentionally. When we got there, it was a trap. He never had you, he just wanted to lure me there to get something for him so he wouldn't have to expose himself to the world. He wanted information on how to destroy me, and he discovered you were the person I cared most about in the world. Me and the others managed to escape the Death Eaters for awhile, but eventually they had me cornered. Just when I was about to give them it, you showed up with Lupin and a few others. You guys were beating the Death Eaters, and you were in a duel with Bellatrix...you died. You died because I tried to save you, but you ended up saving me. Now you see why it's my fault." He shook his head holding back another sob, "It's all my fault. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
I looked at him in surprise. Throughout his whole story I had been silent. I thought that I would be more upset with my supposed fate. But I wasn't. Not at all. "Harry," I began and felt myself smiling slightly, "I thought you would have known me better!"
Harry stared at me obviously confused.
"To start with, I want you to understand something. Me dieing was NOT your fault! Not at all, so I don't want you to say sorry about that anymore because I'm not." I said looking him directly in the eyes.
Harry began shaking his head and said, "But if I didn't believe that vision, then you would still be alive and..."
I cut him off sharply by saying, "Don't you even start that now. Don't even think it! I'm the one who dies, so I think I should get to be the one to place the blame on someone. And it is definitely not your fault."
"Then who's is it?" He asked incredulously.
"Voldemort's." I said not hesitating one bit. "Look Harry, I know myself and...wait, that's kind of a duh...how do I get that to make sense?" Harry laughed a little and then I went on, "Anyway, what I mean is that I must have known what I was getting myself into and what the risks were and obviously, you meant more to me than that. Hell, I know I must have cared for you more than anyone because I haven't even known you for a full day yet and I already like you about as much as I like James! And I know I wouldn't want you to be sad about me, it's not like you'll never see me again right."
Harry smiled again, but this time it was a true smile. "Thanks Sirius. That helps a lot."
"No problem kid," I said standing up and helping Harry up as well, "now what do you say we head up to Gryffindor tower. They must be getting worried about us. But what do you say to a bit of a pit stop first?" I said with a big grin.
Harry's eyebrows rose a bit and asked, "Where did you want to stop?"
"Well I was thinking we should stop by the kitchens and get some food. All this sentimentalness has gotten me quite hungry." I said laughing loudly.
Harry chuckled, "Always thinking about your stomach, aren't you? You find out your supposed to die and the first thing you want to do is eat."
I laughed again, "Well what can I say, it's just the typical me."
Harry laughed again also and thought, Yea it is the same old Sirius. Azkaban had changed him a bit but I can tell that they are the same person. But this Sirius isn't as mature and doesn't have then hollow look to his eyes. It's nice to get the chance to see Sirius carefree for once.
NO POV
They began to work their way back to the castle, Sirius's arm casually draped around Harry's shoulder. "Sirius, when you go to save me from the Department of Mysteries, stay away from the veil...ok."
Sirius looked at him surprised and upon seeing the slightly desperate look on his face, nodded and said, "Ok, I'll try." And the continued their way to the castle.
They arrived at the kitchens entrance shortly after and went in. Harry looked around and seeing some house elves coming up to them asked, "Is Dobby here?"
They all shook their heads and one said, "No sirs, he is cleaning the castle tonight sirs. Is there anything that we can help you with?"
Harry nodded and asked, "Could you give us some extra food?"
The house elves nodded and bowed as they retreated to gather the extra food.
"Who's Dobby?" Sirius asked scratching his head.
"Just a friend of mine, I was hoping you would get to meet him but I'm sure there will be another time." Harry answered casually.
Sirius nodded and the house elves came running up, their arms loaded with food.
When they finally returned to Gryffindor tower, they found everyone sitting in the common room. Remus was deep in conversation with Hermione about lessons and Lily was talking with Ginny, for some reason Harry couldn't help but smile. James was talking to Ron and Peter was just kind of tagging along in conversation.
"Anyone hungry?" Sirius asked crossing the common room to put down the food.
"Where have you guys been? Are you ok?" Remus asked.
"Never better. Just went for a bit of a walk." Sirius replied casually and plopped down next to James.
"Are you sure?" James pressed.
"Yea, I'm fine. We both are. Right Harry?" Sirius said as he began choosing his snacks.
"Yea, just like you said, never better." Harry agreed as he also began to rummage through the mountain of snacks. He grinned and so did Sirius.
"Ok, what's going on?" Ron asked irritatedly.
"Nothing, everything's fine." Harry replied a bit taken aback by his tone.
"Everything's fine? You both just got up and left." Peter said confused.
"I have no idea what you mean, Wormtail. Do you Harry?" Sirius asked as he bit into a chocolate éclair.
"None whatsoever." Harry replied flatly.
They all just looked at the two questioningly. Harry looked up and said, "We did bring this food up for all of us, so you know you guys can eat some too."
James was the first to answer, "You don't have to tell me twice!"
And with that he joined Sirius in digging into the pile of food, and slowly so did everyone else. They had no idea what was going on, but they knew they weren't going to get them to answer any more questions.
After they ate their way through all the snacks and talked awhile, everyone started moving off to bed in shifts, until finally only Lily and James were left in the common room. Lily stared into the fire, and when she noticed James watching her she asked,
"It's strange isn't it? To think that me and you get married and have that kid in there?" as she pointed to Harry's door.
"Yea, it is weird to think about." James answered simply.
"The weirdest part is, I'm already attached to him. And I've barely talked to him! I have no idea what it is but there is something about him and..." she hesitated, "I'm talking crazy. I don't even know what I'm trying to say."
James looked over at her again, "I know what you mean."
She looked at him bewildered, "You do?"
He nodded and said, "There is something about him that makes you happy and sad. Happy because he's there. Sad because when you look into his eyes, there is something there that shouldn't be. His eyes look as though they have seen too much. Too much pain and death. But it doesn't make sense, a boy that age couldn't have seen that much. His eyes are identical to yours, yet at the same time so different when you really look at them."
She was astounded, that was exactly how she felt. "How did you know that?"
He grinned at her and said, "I am a marauder. I'm very perceptive when I need to be. You just never took the time to notice."
She nodded a bit and said, "It is overshadowed by your ego."
He frowned and nodded, "Maybe it is, but at least I took the time to look past your image of know-it-all and got to know you. You've never even tried to get to know me, just labeled me as a jerk not worth your time." After a pause he said, "I think I'm going to go to bed, goodnight Lily."
He got off the couch and crossed the common room. After he climbed the stairs and put his hand on the doorknob to his room Lily spoke,
"It wouldn't matter how hard I looked James. Because deep down that's all you are, a jerk with an inflated ego. Nothing will change that."
As he started to turn the doorknob, he turned to look at her and said gently, "Maybe you're right. Or maybe your scared you judged me too quick. But either way, it still doesn't change the fact that you never did, and probably never will."
He opened the door and entered his room without even glancing back. Lily didn't even know what had just happened. Why was James Potter suddenly so...I don't even know.
IN HARRY'S ROOM
Long after the food had diminished and they had all talked a bit more, Harry, Ron and Hermione sat in the boys' room.
"Harry, you really scared us tonight. You can't go around doing that all the time!" Hermione scolded him.
"I know Hermione, I'm sorry ok, I was fine." Harry repeated exhausted.
"Well how were we supposed to know that?" She snapped at him again.
"Yea, you tear outta here like you were on fire, and we are supposed to believe you're ok!" Ron asked.
"I am ok, and a lot better than I was before. I just had a talk with Sirius, alright." Harry said smiling slightly.
Ron scrunched his eyebrows together and shot Hermione a puzzled look and said, "Fine, we will believe that for now, but there is something we need to talk about. You CAN"T act that way around them. They'll get suspicious. We can't let that happen."
Harry narrowed his eyes and snapped, "I am well aware of what I must and must not do. But I thank you for the lesson Ron. I'll be sure to check with you before I say anything to them from now on."
Hermione frowned at the two boys and said, "Look Harry, we all know this is hard for you but you're going to have to try to act a little bit more normal around them."
Ron nodded and said, "Yea mate, we're just trying to look out for you."
Harry's face softened, "I know, it was just hard today, that's all. It won't happen again. I just didn't know how to handle it."
"Well Harry, that is understandable. I mean this stuff doesn't happen everyday. Even in your bizarre life." Hermione said lightly.
Harry chuckled and nodded. There was silence for a moment.
"Well I'm off to bed. Goodnight boys, don't stay up too late." Hermione said as she got up from the bed and moved towards the door.
"I think I'm gonna hit the hay too." Ron said tensely as he also got up and walked over to his bed.
"Ron? Sorry I snapped at you a minute ago." Harry apologized.
"Don't worry about it Harry, your under a lot of stress." Ron replied gently as he got into bed, "G'night Harry."
"Night Ron." Harry said as he too slid under the covers of his bed.
MARAUDER'S ROOM
James had just entered the room. He was greeted by Sirius saying,
"That's one hell of a son you got there, James. I am happy to be his godfather."
James looked up at him and said, "I know. And I'm happy that you seemed to help him earlier tonight. What happened with that anyway?"
"Nothing really, just had a bit of a talk with him." Sirius said shrugging.
James could sense there was more but apparently Sirius was going to keep it to himself.
"He does seem like a good kid." Remus said thoughtfully. James nodded agreeingly and Remus continued, "But we still don't know much about him do we?"
James opened his mouth to argue, and then closed it when he realized that this was true.
"He didn't seem keen on saying anything about his past." Remus said when he saw James wasn't going to say anything.
"Well, the kid has had some problems ok, he is dealing with a lot more then I would even want to think about." said Sirius as if it was nothing new.
He realized what he had said when he found them all staring at him.
"What is my son dealing with, Sirius?" James asked darkly.
"N..Nothing. Forget I said anything. Go back to talking amongst yourselves." Sirius said hurriedly.
"Sirius...did you just stutter? WHAT is going on? He is MY son, now tell me what is going on. I have a right to know." James growled.
"W..well, umm...he..no, they...hmm." Sirius stuttered.
"SPIT IT OUT SIRIUS!" James roared.
"Well he...someone wants to kill him." Sirius answered tentively.
James stared at him, mulling the words over in his head and was snapped back into reality when Remus asked, "What do you mean someone wants to kill him?"
Sirius shook his head and said, "I don't know all of it, he could only tell me parts. He said that for some reason Voldemort wants to kill him."
"Voldemort?" James asked, "Why would Voldemort want to kill my son?"
"That I have no idea about." Sirius said.
"Maybe he is trying to overthrow the Dark Lord." Peter squeaked nervously.
"Don't be a prat Peter." Sirius said obviously annoyed.
"Well maybe Harry wants his power! He probably wants to take over! Why else would the Dark Lord want to kill him? He doesn't want another one to compete with!" Peter finished wildly.
"MY SON IS NOT LIKE VOLDEMORT!" James yelled. "HE IS NOT A COWARD!"
"I was just saying maybe because it made sense. The Dark Lord is all powerful. Harry could see that and want power too I mean it's only n..." Peter was cut off when James slammed him into the wall and held him there by his throat.
"IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD ABOUT MY SON I SWEAR I WON'T HESITATE TO CURSE YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!" James roared and removed his hand that was pinning Peter to the wall so he fell and hit the ground.
"And you'll have me to deal with too!" added Sirius menacingly.
Wow they sure are being protective of Harry. But I do agree with them. Why would Peter say such things? Harry is a good person, I sensed it from him the moment I met him. No, he's definently not on Voldemort's side. What would make Peter think that? Remus mused as he watched the scene before him. There is something going on. We just have to find out what.
A/N- OK! Lol, I wrote again and I actually sat down and planned out the story! I can't believe it, me trying to be organized! Anyway, I tried. I think I did better, but it doesn't matter what I think. Please review and tell me what you think! Thanks to everyone who reviewed!
Pandas rule the world- Ok, I will put it in. Thanks for the idea, and the review. If I follow my little outline plan then it should be in one of the next 3 chapters! I'm excited aren't you?
