Chapter Thirty-Seven

Innocent Eyes

Haley

"Please, don't hate me," I whisper, getting to my feet and moving my hand from Nathan's arm. He looks so broken, and it's too painful for me to be in here. I stand up and kiss him softly on the cheek, turning on him and silently promising that I'll be here again tomorrow, but I'm not so sure I will.

God, what kind of horrible, horrible person am I? That I can't even stay in the same room as the person I love because he's in a coma. I mean, I've always hated hospitals, but this is Nathan. I should be able to bear it, and I can't. The tears that were swimming around in my eyes decide to fall, and I wipe them stubbornly before opening the door.

"Haley…"

I freeze, hand suspended above the door handle. It was so quiet it was barely even a whisper. I turn quickly and rush to be besides Nathan's bed, dropping back down onto the chair beside it.

"Nathan, was that you?" I ask softly. No answer.

It wasn't him. It was my mind playing cruel tricks on me to stay in the room a second longer. I start crying again. The doctor said he would wake up any day now. But every day the doctor's frown gets deeper and his words get emptier, no longer backed up by conviction.

He's been in a coma for over a week now, and this is the first time I've actually come to see him. Brooke came around last night and begged me to go see him. I think she's starting to give up hope. We went on the internet and read about people who have never woke up from coma's, people who've had to make the choice to turn off the life-support machine.

I turn around and look out onto the corridor, where Deb is still talking to the doctor. I pray that the word's 'life', 'machine' and 'support' aren't escaping from his lips in the negative sense.

"Hales…"

My head snaps round again, just in time for Nathan's eyes to flutter softly open. For a second, it doesn't register. I'm not taking in his slightly-open eyes and his lips moving like he's trying to say something.

"Water."

And just like that, I'm back in reality. Nathan's awake! I'm torn between hugging him and kissing him, but do neither. Instead I jump up and pour out a glass of ice water from the table beside his bed, and hold the glass up to his lips. He gulps it down gratefully, a little of it missing his mouth and falling onto the sheets behind him. I pull the glass away and go to get Deb, but I feel Nathan's finger move onto my hand and turn back round.

"Hey," he whispers. I start laughing, tears falling from my eyes again, and thi time I reach down and I kiss him softly on the lips.

"You're awake!" I exclaim, like an idiot. He attempts a smile.

"Looks like it."

I laugh again. "I'm gong to get your mom, okay? And the doctor."

I jump up and rush to the door.

"Haley," Nathan calls again, with barely a whisper.

"Yeah?"

He smiles. "I think I dreamed about you."

Oh God, I want so much to run over there and hug him and kiss him, and tell him that I love him… but I won't, because now's not the time. Nathan's awake! We have all the time in the world.

LINE

"What's going on?" Jake asks as I run into the cafeteria. I admit, I probably look a mess, with tears streaming down my face and my mascara smudged, but I don't care.

"Is Nathan okay?" Lucas asks, his voice carrying an edge to it.

"He's awake!" I squeal, ignoring the somewhat annoyed looks from the people around us.

"What?" Brooke yells, jumping up.

"He's awake!" I shout again, and Brooke starts squealing and pulls me into a hug. When we pull away Lucas is smiling and Peyton's eyes are filling with tears as Jake pulls her in close.

"Can we go see him?" Peyton asks.

"Not yet, he's in there with his mom and the doctor. It… it was amazing," I say, shaking my head. "He called my name, and then his eyes opened, just as I was about to leave."

The five of us sit back down at the table, and we're all crying. God, we must look like such sentimental fools, but I don't care. Nathan's awake. Nathan's awake. Nathan's awake. That little two-word phrase is spinning about in my head, giving me a little jolt every time I take it in.

"I told you," Brooke says. "I said that if you came in to see him, he'd wake up. He just needed to hear your voice tutor girl."

LINE

"Well, he's still a wise-ass," Lucas says, coming out of Nathan's room with a dopey smile on his face and Brooke beside him, wearing an even dozier smile. I laugh at him and he sits down beside me, wrapping his arms around me. I'm sat in the waiting room with Peyton and Jake, and Lucas and Brooke have just been to see Nathan.

"You sure you don't want to go next?" Peyton asks, getting to her feet.

"Yeah, I'd rather go last," I tell her, as she and Jake walk towards the room.

Apparently Dan is on some business trip, and he's on his way home from Charlotte, but I'm hoping that I'll get a good half-hour with Nathan before he gets back. Only three people are allowed in the waiting room at a time, and Deb is in there now. If Dan came back, I'd have to sit in there with him and Deb, and I can't imagine being able to say much with Dan Scott there.

But then, what do I really want to say? I mean, that's obvious, I want to tell him I love him, and that I want to be with him… but is now really the time?

Peyton and Jake are only in there for ten minutes, but it feels like hours. I keep glancing nervously at the clock hoping Dan won't be back.

The two of them come out with similar grins to Lucas and Brooke and sit back down, looking over at me. I nervously rise to my feet and make my way to Nathan.

He looks so much different to how he looked this morning. His cheeks have got a healthy glow, and his eyes are wide open, sparkling when I come in.

"Hey," I say as soon as he looks over at me.

"Hey back," he grins. He's so full of life and vitality that I no longer notice the tubes running into him.

I sit on the seat beside his bed and smile up at Deb nervously. She smiles at me and stands up.

"Where are you going?" I ask.

Deb winks at Nathan and then smiles again at me. "I'll give you two some time alone. I need to get a coffee anyway."

A deep blush takes over my face as Deb lets herself out.

"You know, has anyone ever told you that you look lovely in red?" Nathan says, and I swat him playfully on the arm.

We stare at each other for a while, as if trying to figure out what we're supposed to say, and whether we should say it.

"I love you."

My eyes widen. That wasn't me, it was Nathan. My eyes fill with tears again.

"Oh God, I love you too," I whisper, grabbing his hand. He squeezes mine and the two of us smile at each other with dopy grins on our faces. "And, I don't want you to ever change," I tell him. "I misjudged you, but I love you just as you are…"

Nathan shakes his head. "Too late," he says softly. "I have changed, and we both know you didn't love who I used to be. I wasn't too hot on who I used to be, but… but I put up a wall Hales. I hated letting anyone in because I thought that once anyone figured me out, they'd treat me like my dad does."

I'm crying, and I raise Nathan's hand to my lips, kissing them. "I would never do that," I tell him.

"I know, and that's why I fell in love with you. I let you in and you didn't take advantage, you didn't make me feel like I wasn't good enough"

I let out a shaky laugh. "Yeah, until I said that we couldn't be together."

Nathan shakes his head, "No, even then you didn't make me feel like I wasn't good enough. It was me who made that connection, and I wanted to be good enough for you Hales. I wanted to be perfect, just like you are."

"Oh Nathan, I'm not perfect. I mean, I couldn't even come into this hospital because I was so scared…"

"You still came though. You were there when I woke up."

I nod, and Nathan moves his hand up my face, wiping away the tears. I lean down and kiss him on the lips again. "So… does this mean there's going to be a 'Nathan-and-Haley'?" I ask.

Nathan frowns. "A what?"

I shake my head and laugh. God, it sounds so lame now. "I just mean… that my walls are down. Um…" How the hell do I say this? "I want to be with you Nathan… always and forever."

"Yeah. You finally going to let me in?" he asks, still cupping my face in his hand.

"You're already in."

Nathan pulls himself up on his elbows, and I'm about to tell him to stop straining himself, but he speaks before I have a chance.

"I can't wait to get out of this bed, can't wait to hold you, and walk with you hand-in-hand."

The door opens behind me, and the two of us turn to it.

Dan Scott stands there, his business suit immaculate and a smile on his face.

"Son," he says. Nathan looks me in the eyes and doesn't say anything.

"I was just talking to the doctor. He said there'll be no long term damage, and you'll be able to play Basketball again, maybe even by the end of the month."

Nathan finally looks away from me and smiles weakly at his dad. "That's great," he says flatly.

"Where's your mother? I can't believe she left you here on your own…" Dan goes on, looking straight through me.

Nathan looks at me again and raises an eyebrow. "I'm not on my own Dad, I'm with Haley."

Dan Scott looks at me briefly. "Aren't you Lucas's girlfriend?" he asks, looking like he's never seen me in my life. I open my mouth to answer that I'm not, but Nathan beats me to it.

"No Dad, she's mine."

AN: Please R&R