Uh...yeah. So, here's chapter 3!

Disclaimer: The almighty one does not own Final Fantasy VII or it's characters. Just the silly story.

Hey, that's not very nice! Bad disclaimer, bad!

About Ayaka...I said she had dark hair in the last chapter, but it's actually lilac! Okay, now that you all know...Onwards!

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"So what you're saying is that Yazoo is alive!" Tseng yelled angrily at the soldier in front of him. "And what about Rude and Teioh! What became of them?"

The soldier took a step back from the angered Tseng and saluted before addressing him. "Both are in the hospital wing being treated for injuries sir!"

Tseng covered his face with his hands and sunk into his chair. He couldn't believe this had happened. Yazoo would most definitely come after the President, and he had no idea of his location to notify him. 'So much for regaining power...' he thought to himself.

He stood up and dismissed the soldier, before making his way to the elevator that would take him in the right place. When he got there, a nurse approached him.

"Ah, sir, you're finally here. I'm afraid you can't go in yet, both are still being treated."

Tseng glared at the young nurse. "Well, at least tell me of there conditions!"

"The younger one should be fine after a week or so of rest, but the older man is still in theatre."

Tseng looked up in shock. "Theatre! What happened!

"They were shot at sir, but that's all I know. Some of the soldiers know some details, as does Reno and his rookie."

It seemed to Tseng that all the women in the building new Reno. He hurried up the corridor to the waiting room, where he found Reno leaning against a wall and Safiria holding an ice pack to her face.

"What happened?"

Reno didn't even acknowledge Tseng's presence. Safiria started grumbling about everything being too loud. A soldier who was in the room nursing a sprained wrist stood and half saluted with his one good arm.

"A maniac with silver hair attacked us sir! Someone from Nibelheim heard gunfire and called a friend to tell them that something was up. If her friend hadn't been a secretary, Rude and Teioh would be dead sir."

Tseng frowned. "But how on earth did a secretary manage to get a full squadron and two Turks out there?"

At this point, Safiria started speaking. "Reno just so happened to have been chatting her up at the time. Apparently, he's useful for something."

When Reno's name was mentioned, Tseng turned to face him. He was still leaning against the wall, with his head down. His hair was obscuring what the shadows weren't, so it was impossible to tell what he was feeling.

"And what happened to you?"

Safiria removed the ice pack from her face. An angry red welt smiled from just below her left eye to just above her neck. "Forgot about myself, sir. Reno saw what had happened to Rude and flew for the guy screaming bloody murder. I cast a barrier around him that would protect him from the shots, so he attacked me instead."

Tseng sighed. "That doesn't explain what happened."

"After cursing at me, he summoned some sort of fiend with vine's for arms, which should explain my face. As soon as I had thrown some Fire spells at it and sent it down, the guy with silver hair flew out of no where and gave me one serious case of concussion sir." She replaced the ice pack over her face.

Just as Tseng was about to take a seat, a nurse opened the door.

"Umm, sir? We've just finished with the older one. Mister Teioh is in room 17, Mister Rude is in room 10. You can visit them both, but only one at a time in room 10, he's still very weak."

As soon as she had finished speaking Reno disappeared through the door. Tseng didn't even need to guess where he was going.

"Safiria, would you mind checking on Teioh? There's something I need to take care of..."

Safiria knew this was more of an order than a request, so she got up and stretched her legs. Her head was still spinning, so she had to grab the top of a chair to balance herself. She made her way down the corridor, but stopped at the room Rude was in. Looking in the window, she saw Rude, still unconscious, lying in a bed with a few wires and tubes about the place. Reno was staring at his partner with a lost look on his face, like a little boy pulled away from his older brother. He looked up when he felt Safiria watching him. She gave him a supportive smile before carrying on down the corridor. Teioh was propped up in a bed, staring absently at the wall in front of him. He had bandages wrapped from his chest to the wound on his soldier, and a few on his arms where the monsters in the building had managed to get a few hits through him. He looked up when he heard Safiria enter.

"Thanks for helping me back there."

Safiria smiled at him. "No problem. I'm hoping that you would have done the same for me."

Teioh let out a chuckle. "How could I let a pretty face die?"

Safiria stopped smiling and put on an expression of mock seriousness. "Oh my god, you're beginning to sound like Reno!" She covered her face with her hands in an attempt to hide the amusement from her face.

"Aww man. I'm lying in a hospital bed, and all you can do is joke around? That hurts man...Anyways, what brings pretty little you to see sexy little me?"

"You know, I find it hard sitting in the same room as Reno, so unless you want me to leave, you can quit acting like him."

Teioh grinned at her. "I'm not acting, I naturally look this hot."

Just as Safiria felt like she could slap him, Elena burst into the room with Ayaka.

"Are you all right Teioh? I heard about what happened!" Elena yelled, rushing over to Teioh's bedside. Ayaka took a seat next to the bed.

"I'm fine 'Lena. How about you? Wanna go out for a drink sometime?"

Ayaka couldn't help but laugh at him. "He's fine. Let's go 'Lena, we still have some paperwork to finish."

Elena stopped fussing over Teioh, only a little relieved that he was fine. He was still as annoying as Reno. "What about Rude?"

Safiria grinned stupidly. "He's in room 10. But we're only allowed in one at a time, cuz he's really sick!"

Elena glared at the rookie who was grinning at her. "And you think this is funny!"

Teioh looked closely at Safiria before voicing his opinion. "Whoa, you look like you've had a bit much to drink."

"I'm okay, I just hit my head. Haha, You have little chicks flying round your head 'Lena..."

Elena gave Safiria a worried look when Reno walked in. He was looking as if he had roughed the night in a back alley. "You can see Rude if you want. The nurse kicked me out..."

Ayaka looked up at Reno, a little confused. "Umm...What happened to Saffy by the way? She seems...a bit...out of it."

Reno turned around in time to see the girl falling forwards. He moved in time to catch her before she hit the floor, while Elena ran to fetch a nurse. Ayaka and Teioh looked at each other, both who seemed perplexed. Safiria looked up and rubbed her eyes.

"Aww, I didn't know you cared Reno...Ha."

Reno looked at the rookie with concern. "Okay, somethings definitely wrong with you. That's my line."

Elena returned with a nurse, who ordered Reno to carry Safiria into the next room so that she could see just how hard she had hit her head. After they had left the room, Elena rushed off to Tseng's office to inform that they weren't two Turks down, but possibly three. She knocked and entered, just in time to see Tseng hang up the phone. He looked up when he heard her and sat down.

"What is it now? Don't tell me someone else has been incapacitated."

Elena looked at her feet when she replied. "Um, actually sir..."

Tseng sighed. "I think I already know...Safiria's been admitted as well? She did have a nasty looking injury on her face..."

"Actually, it's not her face. She know how she said she had hit her head? Well, it seems to have knocked all sense out of her. She's like acting like a drunken fool. Or Reno, whichever description you prefer sir."

Tseng sighed again. Not only were two Turks hospitalized, but one had gone temporarilly round the bend. He couldn't find out the Presidents location either. He wasn't at his Healin Springs getaway, neither was he in Junon. He had outdone himself this time. It would take Tseng's best intelligence group a while to track him down. He knew it wouldn't be a good idea to let the President go away without telling him where, but he was the President and could do what he wanted to do.

"At least it's only temporary..." All of a sudden,Tseng's face lit up. "Elena?"

"Yes sir?"

"Would you be so kind as to find Wolfe and his crew for me?"

Elena looked confused, before realisation finally hit her. "Oh, you mean Tetsuo sir. I'll fetch him for you sir!"

Elena bounded out of the office. She was always happy to do anything for Tseng. Even if he asked her to babysit Reno, she probably would. She wouldn't guarantee his safety, but she'd do it. Standing in the elevator, she tried to remember what Wolfe looked like, or if she'd even recognise him when she got to the training grounds. She could remember that he was quite tall, and tank-like. He liked guns as well. Apart from that, she didn't know much else about him. She had last saw Wolfe when he went out to investigate the remains of the crater where Sephiroth had been defeated, and that was more than two years ago. The elevator pinged signalling that it had reached the first floor of the massive building, and Elena stepped out, hurrying into yet another elevator. This one went down as well, and she watched as the light vanished when the elevator sank slowly beneath the ground.

"Grr...I hate this thing. Do they ever change the bulb!"

When the elevator came to a halt, Elena climbed out and looked around. Before her was the underground area used to train theSoldier candidates. Soldiers were practicing their marksmanship, as well as swordsmanship. Some even practised their magical abilities in areas with magical barriers, to stop any stray spells. Elena chuckled as she watched the men throw spells at each other. They looked like baby sized spells compaired to watch she had saw Safiria cast. A low voice startled Elena, and she backed into the wall.

"Your job is to look for candidates, not to come down here. What's your buisiness!"

As much as Elena had tried to remember him, she still wasn't prepared for the sight of Tetsuo Wolfe, the best member of Soldier since Sephiroth, although he didn't quite match up to Sephiroths skill. He was taller than she remembered, towering above her at around six feet and built like a battle tank.

"Umm...Tseng would like to see you in his office, with your best crew..." Elena whimpered and added on feebly, "If that's okay with you of course..."

Wolfe let out an intimidating laugh and glared at Elena. "You're forgetting that you're a Turk. Right now, the President has placed you fools in charge. You sholdn't let intimidation get in the way of power."

Calling Elena a fool was one thing, but that meant that Wolfe had also called Tseng a fool. Drawing herself up to her full height, which wasn't much of a difference anyway, she started bawling at the giant in front of her.

"How dare you call Tseng a fool! I'll have you know that the President left him in charge for a reason! If he wanted his whole company to fall to it's knee's with stupidity, then I'm sure he would have promotedyou to the task!"

Wolfe stared at Elena before laughing again, but a little less intimidating. "Okay, you have my attention. Tell Tsengy-kins that I'll be up as soon as I can."

Turning on her heel and walking back to the elevator, Elena stopped dead. Turning around as she realised what Wolfe had said, she saw him grinning at her, before laughing some more. He liked to laugh apparently. Grumbling all the way back up to her office, she finished the paperwork for her last target, and went to the hospital wing to see how things were.

-x-x-

Walking down the corridor, Elena stopped at Rudes room. Reno had somehow wormed his way passed the nurses and was sitting talking to him, although Rude looked only semi-conscious. She carried on to Teioh's room. Upon entering, she was greeted with a strange scene. Teioh was still in bed, although on his fingers were finger puppets. Ayaka was giggling on the floor. Turning to see what was so funny, she saw Safiria chatting animatedly to Teioh. No, it wasn't Teioh. She was talking to the finger puppets.

"What's going on in here?"

Ayaka stopped giggling for a moment, with enough time to tell Elena what they were up to. "She's so stupid! We told her that the President Rufus had been shrunk, along with Tseng, and now she thinks that she's speaking to them!"

Elena glared at them both inturn, bofore turning to Safiria. "Stop it Safiria, those are just finger puppets! Ignore Teioh and Ayaka!"

Safiria looked confused, but turned to the puppets and told them that she wasn't allowed to talk to them anymore. She sat on the floor in a corner and started singing to herself. Elena told Ayaka to get back to the office and finish her paperwork, and then told Teioh that if she caught him screwing around with Safiria's head, she'd report him to Tseng. As she was getting ready to leave, a nurse walked into the room, dragging Reno by the ear.

"I told you that you had been in there long enough! He needs his rest. I can understand how you feel, but please leave him alone for a while."

Reno grumbled and sat down in a chair next to Teioh. As Elena left, Teioh leaned over and beckoned Reno to listen to him.

"I know something that might cheer you up. See Safiria in the corner? She's a little gullible right now. Tell her anything and she'll believe it. Watch this!"

He shouted to Safiria, who looked up. After telling her that she was a nurse and that she should be looking after Teioh, she immediately jumped to her feet and started rushing around, trying to make him more comfortable. Reno shook his head.

"You know, I can't agree with this. Only I can tell Saffy what to do, y'see? Hey, remember that date you promised me earlier?"

Safiria grinned at Reno. "Oh, you mean when you suggested that we should go kiss and make up in the elevator, and I told you to go screw yourself backwards?"

"Uhh...Sothat's what you said..."

"There's only so many things you an get passed her, you two."

Reno turned when he heard the voice from the door, where Tseng stood, nursing a red ear.

"I take it that you met the nurse?"

"Enough. I have another mission fo ou. It might help you take your mind off...things."

"Really, I'm feeling very vulnerable, how about a day off? Or ten?"

Tseng growled at Reno and threw him a look that warned him not to mess around at such a time. "Get out! And you need to do the paperwork yourself this time, I'm not letting her near anything important."

"Aww, did you hear that Saffy? I think he's saying that you're incapable of doing rookie work. Or he may be calling you just plain stupid."

"I said out! Now!"

"Yes sir!"

-x-x-

By the next morning, Teioh was able to hop around on a crutch, and Safiria was back to her usual vindictive self. Well, only to Teioh and Reno. Rude had regained full consciousness and was giving Tseng the details of what had happened at the mansion, when Reno burst in.

"I heard you were awake partner! Thought I'd surprise you with a visit!"

Rude sighed. "My headache's sore enoughwithout you Reno."

"Aww, that hurts, yo? I only wanted to see how you were doing."

Tseng glared at Reno. He was always glaring at Reno these days. "Reno, go do something productive. And I mean work-wise, not child-wise."

"Wassup Boss man? Can I get you anything? Tea, coffee, latte, marijuana?"

"Grr..."

Reno stood straight and gave Tseng a mock salute. "Aye aye captain, I was just about to leave!"

Rude let out the laugh he was holding in when Reno was out of earshot. "Someone seems happy."

"As much as he's a bit of an idiot, he was in here as much as the nurses would let him yesterday." Tseng went back to the report he was writing while Rude stared out of the window at the other side of the room. It was raining pretty heavilly.

"I hope he never rode into work today. He's gonna have an accident on that thing."

Tseng smiled at the other Turks comment. "Yes, he did. You can tell Reno only too many times that motorbikes plus rain aren't a good combination, but he'll always ride into work." He laughed when Rude shook his head. Reno may have been annoying and arrogant, only keeping a few good friends, but the ones he kept were invaluable. The type who would be there to help no matter what he came up against. All the Turks were like that. Trust was important for them if they were to work together. Which reminded him that he'd have to lock Safiria and Ayaka in a room with Reno to make them stop getting at each others throats.

"If he didn't do stupid things, he wouldn't be Reno."

Rudes comment made Tseng look up from his report. "And if you didn't look after him, he wouldn't be Reno. He'd be dead."

Rude chuckled before looking around the room again. Tseng noticed that he was looking for something and stopped writing. "What's wrong?"

"My shades...I don't feel right without them."

"Don't you have an inexhaustable supply of those? They're always being broken by...an anonymous person."

Rude chuckled again. He knew who his boss was talking about. Everytime he lost a pair of shades, it was because Reno had stepped upon them, hit him in the face with his EMR or stolen them just to annoy him. After Tseng had finished his report, Reno came rushing back in.

"Oh, you were just leaving boss, yo? Good good, now I can talk to my good friend." His emphasis on 'friend' told Tseng that something was up, and as he turned to exit, he found Safiria at the door.

"Reno, I'm gonna string you up like a puppet and then paint your face black and blue!"

He blocked the doorway, not allowing Safiria to enter. "Whatever you're going to do to him, can't it wait until later?"

"But sir, he was..."

"I don't care what he was doing. Deal with it later!"

Reno laughed and then made some faces behind Tseng's back. "Thank you very much Tseng my man! I knew you loved me really."

Tseng could tell what Reno was doing behind him and ushered Safiria out of the room. "And when you get round to dealing with the little bastard, give me a yell."

Reno's face dropped and he resorted to swearing as his boss and his rookie left the hospital wing. Taking a seat next to Rude, he gazed out of the window.

"Man, is it still raining? That means my poor hair's gonna get wet again when I go home."

It was still morning, and Reno had actually gotten into work early, arriving at the same time as Safiria, who wasn't wet because she got on the train, which stopped right next to the building. Safiria was mad at him because, upon entering the main office on their floor, Elena had asked him why Reno was wet, to which he replied that it was because of what 'Saffy' had done to him in the elevator. Some of the male staff from other offices on the floor had heard the conversation and where soon requesting her presence to 'accompany' them to other floors.

"You should wear a helmet, especially in these conditions. It's getting into late November, you should try getting a car or something. Much safer. So, what was that all about?"

Reno grinned at Rude, and started chuckling. "You'll find out soon enough, my friend. Saffy's gotten pretty popular when it comes to elevator travel, put it that way."

Shaking his head, Rude returned to staring out of the window. "You know, it wouldn't be hard for her to shoot you and make it out to be someone elses fault. Yazoo still wants your ass for kicking him in the face last time."

"Everyone wants my ass because it's so damn sexy, yo? He needs to stop making excuses."

"Oh, be gone. You can be so immature at the worst of times. Where are my shades by the way?"

"I stole them so that you wouldn't have any. I wanna see how many you actually have stocked up."

Reno was promptly kicked out of the hospital wing by the nurse who had kicked him out of Rude's room several times the day before.

-x-x-

Later in the afternoon, Reno was given another assignment to take care of. He managed to find where Safiria was hiding from him, in the female changing rooms of the gym after finishing a round of tennis with a friend.

"Reno, have you no shame?"

"No need to worry Saff, it's not like Ihaven't ended up in bed one one of these ladies at some point in their time here."

"Oh, so now it's just 'Saff' now, is it?" She glared at him darkly. "And I highly doubt that you've been to bed with everyone in here."

"Uhh, can I have a show of hands please? And be truthful. Who herehasn't been to bed with me?"

Safiria looked around the changing rooms, to find that not one person had their hand up. Reno just stood and grinned at her.

"You know, you should put your hand up. I haven't been to bed with you yet."

Picking up a water bottle, she took aim at Reno's head. "What do you mean by 'yet'? Keep dreaming sir, it'll never happen."

Reno ducked in time to avoid the bottle, straightning up in time to recieve a slap across the face.

"Grr! Fine, be that way. I only came looking for you to see if you wanted to come with me on my assignment, but it seems you have better things to do than help me out."

"Wha! No, wait, please! I wanna go! Please?"

Reno stood with his hand covering his face before looking at Safiria. "Don't give me that look. It won't work with me. I'm the one who perfected the puppy look!"

As well as staring at Reno with puppy like, shiney eyes, Safiria began to pout, a great combination to get what you want according to her philosophy.

"Damn you. Fine, come along if you want! But hurry up or I'll leave without you."

Reno stood there for a moment, wondering why Safiria was giving him a look that told him to leave. After he got bored of standing, he asked what she was waiting for.

"I'm not going to get changed in front of you, sir. Out."

"Ugh, you're beginning to sound like Tseng. Fine, I'll wait outside."

Safiria wondered why Tseng would tell Reno that he wasn't getting changed in front of him while she got changed, even though Reno meant that it was by the way she had said 'out'. There was a familiar note of finality the way she'd said it, just like his boss. She rushed out of the changing rooms a few minutes later, excited about finally being allowed to go on an assignment, although she had feeling that it was only because Rude was unable to accompany him. Reno gave her a quick check over before they left.

"Hm, I guess you look presentable. Got your weapon? Not that you'd need it with spells like those."

"Yes sir. Can we go now?"

"Aww man, you're way too excited, yo?"

"I've been locked in the office finishing your paperwork ever since I was promoted sir. The only time I've been out was the other day when we helped in Nibelheim. There's only so many months of paperwork one can take sir."

"I can't even stand an hour of the stuff. Let's go. It's in Midgar, so we can take my bike. Unless you're scared to go out on my 'death trap' as you called her this morning?"

Safiria had been waiting to go on an assignment for months, and she wasn't about to pass one up for fear of Reno crashing his stupid motorbike. As luck would have it, she'd probably be left nursing numerous broken bones while he'd be screaming for death because of a scratch to his face.

"I guess my life's worth risking..."

"Great! C'mon then, we don't want to be late for our meeting with a certain idiosyncratic rebel group leader."

"That was a big word. Well done sir."

Reno never noticed the sarcasm in Safiria's voice, and stupidly took this as a compliment.

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Umm...Another one done! Huzzah! Review please!

For those of you who don't know, if I put EMR down, it's just and abbreviation for Reno's Electro-Mag Rod. I'm too lazy to type it each time. :)