Author's Note: I've noticed questions on who certain characters are in the review (coughSmithycough). I will write a short bio for each character from now on.

Mario: From the Mario Series. Red plumber. Main character.

Luigi: From the Mario Series. Green plumber. Mario's brother.

Bowser: From the Mario Series. Giant, fire-breathing turtle. Main villain.

Astaroth: From the Soul Calibur series. Axe-wielding golem. Side character.

Cloud: From Final Fantasy VII. Mercenary. Main character.

Master Chief: From the Halo series. Marine. Main character.

Ganondorf: From the Legend of Zelda series. Evil warlock. Main villain.

Ganon: From the Legend of Zelda series. Giant pig-like monster that Ganondorf transforms into. Main villain.

Megaman: From the Megaman series. Crime-fighting robot, or something. Main character.

Bombman, Cutman, Fireman, Iceman, Elecman, Gutsman: From Megaman I. Robot masters. Usually good, but reprogrammed by Wily.

Link: From the Legend of Zelda series. Hero of Time. Main character.

Siegfried: From the Soul Calibur series. Formerly possessed knight. Main character of Soul Calibur 3.

Kirby: From the Kirby series. Pink blob. Main character.

Bomberman: From the Bomberman series. Robot. Main character.

Dr. Wily: From the Megaman series. Evil scientist. Main villain.

Dr. Robotnik/Eggman: From the Sonic series. Evil scientist. Main villain.
Smithy (the one everyone's asking me about): From Super Mario RPG. Robot-forging blacksmith. Main villain.

I think that covers everyone from the last one… now for the new characters in this one.

Popple: From Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga. Self-proclaimed "Shadow Thief." Persistent rival.

Rouge: From the recent Sonic games. Jewel thief/government spy. Supposedly evil, turns out hero.

Skull Kid: From the N64 Zelda games. Thief. Neutral, turned evil by mask, turned back.

Yuffie: From Final Fantasy VII. Young ninja. Party member.

Protoman: From the Megaman series. Prototype to Megaman. Good, mostly.

Meta-Knight: From the Kirby series. Mysterious swordsman. Rival.

Tartarus: From Halo 2. Servant of the Prophets. Final boss.

Charade: From Soul Calibur 2. Weapon master. Fragment of Soul Edge.

Samus: From the Metroid series. Bounty hunter. Main character.

There's more, but I'll introduce them next chapter. This is just taking way too long.

Chapter 3: Krushing the Kongs

Very far from virtually anywhere, a big meeting was being held. Most of the participants were criminals, thieves, bandits, etc. At this meeting was a green, bean-like creature, a woman resembling a bat, a red robot wearing shades, a short, masked man, a short, wooden creature, a big ape-like alien, a teenage ninja girl wielding a giant shuriken, a golem made of fragments of metal with an eye in the middle, and an armored woman. None of whom appeared to be the types of people you would want to run into in a dark alley.

The bean man, apparently the leader, spoke. "Alright, see? I'm Popple, the Shadow Thief. Let me tell ya how this goes, see? We're gonna all introduce ourselves, see? You'll say yer name and greatest heist, if any. But make it snappy. I wanna tell youse the plan as soon as possible."

"Rouge the bat. I stole three Chaos Emeralds once."

"I'm, uh, Skull Kid. I stole Majora's Mask. It possessed me shortly after, but that's another story."

"Hi there, I'm Yuffie! I traveled with a group for like, a long time, and stole all their Materia when their backs were turned. It was fun."

"Protoman, but you can call me Blues. I'm not really a thief, but I need the money."

"I'm the swordsman, Meta-Knight. I do this for training. I never exactly was a bandit, but I did try to take over the world, once."

"I AM TARTARUS! I STOLE A RELIC CALLED THE ICON, WHEN IT WAS ALREADY STOLEN BY ANOTHER!"

Popple snapped at him. "Quiet down, see? We can all hear ya. We don't want any cops hearing as well, see?" He looked at the golem. "Who are you?"

"…"

"I asked you a question, and I expect an answer, see?"

The armored woman calmed him. "That's Charade. He doesn't talk much. And I'm Samus, bounty hunter. I defeated an army of space pirates. Multiple times."

Popple checked his watch, and sighed. "Finally, that's over. Now, the reason I all brought you all here, is that I want to pull of a heist, see? One of the greatest of all time, see? Now that the portals have been opened, there's more of us, and vaults are that much easier to crack. I'm talking bananas. Golden bananas, see?"

Everyone groaned. "Bananas?" "And here I thought it was something important…" "Screw this, I'm going home!" "BANANAS SUCK!" "…" "It could be worse… like golden apples or something…"

"Look, I know that they're bananas, see? But that's because they're owned by a bunch of apes. The banana part doesn't matter, see? What matters is that they're solid gold. If you'd let me explain…" Popple pulled out a map. It depicted a group of islands. One area, a cave, was circled. "If I'd have known you didn't wanna get rich off these, I'd have done this myself, see? The circled area is a vault. It's heavily guarded. If it wasn't, I would have taken all 201 golden bananas for myself, and done it alone. But I expect violence. Now, whoever gets squeamish about that sorta thing, go away, now!"

Nobody left. Silence. When Skull kid's small voice rang out, it sounded as if Tarturus was talking, it had been so quiet. "So, uh, we're just going to barge in and take a bunch of bananas?"

"Golden bananas." Protoman corrected him.

"It's easy, see? All we gotta do is fight a bunch of apes."

"I TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT!"

"I DON'T CARE, SEE?"

On a remote group of islands, known as Kong Isle, a group of six monkeys were staring upon their collection of golden bananas, celebrating. They had just gotten them back from the klutches of King K. Rool. These monkeys were the Kongs: Donkey Kong, the leader. Diddy Kong, the short, fast chimpanzee. Dixie Kong, a girl monkey with a long, yellow ponytail that could enable flight. Lanky Kong, a krazy orangutan with limbs that could stretch to unrealistic sizes. Chunky Kong, the muscular gorilla. And Funky Kong, a big Kong with sunglasses, and a backwards red cap.

Donkey Kong shouted, "We did it, guys! We got all our bananas back!"

Dixie was busy counting. "Yep. All 201 of them."

As they all shouted, an old monkey, Cranky Kong, came into the room. "Quit that idiotic celebrating. There's more to be done."

Diddy was dancing, doing cartwheels on top of the huge pile. "Like what?"

"Like those odd-looking boys outside the cave." Cranky moved out of the way, revealing Popple and his gang, all in a battle stance.

"Give us the bananas, see, and nobody gets hurt, see?"

Chunky got in their faces. "Hurt? We're gonna put the hurt on you!"

Begin Battle

Donkey Kong: 300/300 HP

Diddy Kong: 160/160 HP

Funky Kong: 270/270 HP

Dixie Kong: 150/150 HP

Popple: 50/50 HP

Tartarus: 500/500 HP

Meta-Knight: 250/250 HP

Samus: 330/330 HP

Donkey Kong laughed at Popple's low HP total. "And you're supposed to be the boss? That's lame!"

Cranky Kong shouted at him, "No, stupid!" but it was too late.

Donkey Kong sent a flying kick at Popple, but Tartarus smashed him with his hammer before it even connected with Popple.

Resume Battle

Diddy Kong got out his jetpack.

Funky Kong hopped into a hovercraft.

Dixie Kong whacked Samus with her hair.

Popple pushed Funky Kong out of his hovercraft, and stole it.

Tartarus whacked Donkey Kong with his hammer AGAIN.

Meta Knight and Samus both started charging their attacks together.

Donkey Kong: 180/300 HP

Diddy Kong: 160/160 HP (Has Jetpack, can't be reached with ground attacks)

Funky Kong: 250/270 HP

Dixie Kong: 150/150 HP

Popple: 50/50 HP (Has Hovercraft)

Tartarus: 500/500 HP

Meta-Knight: 250/250 HP (Charging Power with Samus)

Samus: 300/330 HP (Charging Power with Meta-Knight)

Donkey Kong threw an orange at Popple's party. Tartarus took the hits for both Popple and himself.

Diddy Kong shot at Popple's party with his peanut pistols. Tartarus took the hits for both Popple and himself.

Funky Kong pulled out a gun with a boot on a stick as ammunition.

Dixie Kong jumped on Tartarus, but was countered.

Popple rammed Diddy Kong with the hovercraft.

Tartarus tried to hit Diddy Kong with his hammer, but couldn't reach him.

Meta Knight started spinning around, becoming a living tornado, as Samus fired a blast at him. The tornado became bigger, and hit all the Kongs currently in battle.

Diddy's jetpack exploded!

Donkey Kong: 130/300 HP

Diddy Kong: 80/160 HP

Funky Kong: 200/270 HP (Has Boot Bazooka)

Dixie Kong: 40/150 HP

Popple: 50/50 HP (Has Hovercraft)

Tartarus: 440/500 HP

Meta-Knight: 190/250 HP

Samus: 270/330 HP

Popple laughed, impressed by Meta Knight and Samus. "Bros Attacks. Good job, Rookies!"

Resume Battle

Donkey Kong began charging a Limit Break.

Diddy Kong began charging a Limit Break.

Funky Kong fired a boot at Samus.

Dixie Kong began charging a Limit Break.

Popple grabbed Tartarus's hammer.

Tartarus swung his hammer. Popple let go, and was sent flying into Dixie Kong.

Dixie Kong was defeated!

Meta Knight slashed at Diddy Kong.

Samus took Morph Ball form.

Chunky Kong joined the battle!

Donkey Kong: 130/300 HP (Charging Limit Break)

Diddy Kong: 30/160 HP (Charging Limit Break)

Funky Kong: 200/270 HP (Has Boot Bazooka)

Chunky Kong: 500/500 HP

Popple: 50/50 HP (Has Hovercraft)

Tartarus: 440/500 HP

Meta-Knight: 190/250 HP

Samus: 220/330 HP (In Morph Ball Form)

Donkey Kong started playing his bongo drums very loudly. Popple's party covered their ears, except for Tartarus, who was covering Popple's ears. Tartarus took double damage, Popple took no damage.

Diddy Kong started playing his guitar at maximum volume. Again, Popple took no damage, Tartarus took double damage.

Funky Kong fired a boot at Meta-Knight.

Chunky Kong lunged at Tartarus, and dragged him offstage. Fighting sounds can be heard.

Tartarus and Chunky are temporarily out of the battle! (Note: Nobody will be brought in, since they will come back.)

Popple jumped out of the hovercraft, and stole Funky's boot launcher.

Meta Knight began charging a Limit Break.

Samus dropped two bombs on Diddy, one on Donkey.

Diddy Kong was defeated!

Cranky Kong joined the battle!

Donkey Kong: 110/300 HP

Cranky Kong: 1000/1000 HP

Funky Kong: 200/270 HP

Chunky Kong: 500/500 HP (Out of the Battle)

Popple: 50/50 HP (Has Boot Launcher)

Tartarus: 220/500 HP (Out of the Battle)

Meta-Knight: 80/250 HP (Charging Power)

Samus: 110/330 HP (In Morph Ball Form)

Popple stared at Cranky's HP. "1000? You must be freaking crazy, see?"

"What? Can't an old man have high stats? I was the original Donkey Kong, you know."

Popple whispered to Samus, "Switch attack order with me, and place three bombs on me. I have a plan, see?"

Resume Battle

Donkey Kong tried to throw a barrel at Popple. He was foiled again, this time by Meta Knight, who deflected the barrel back at DK.

Cranky Kong threw an explosive barrel at Popple's party. Meta-Knight took the hits for both Popple and himself.

Funky Kong tried to punch Meta-Knight in the face, but Samus took the hit for him.

Chunky came back to the battle, with 200 less HP.

Samus and Popple switched attack order. Samus set three bombs on Popple. Popple ran up to the Kongs, and exploded on all of them.

Tartarus came back to the battle, with 200 less HP.

Meta-Knight unleashed his Limit Break, and transformed into Dark Meta-Knight.

Dark Meta-Knight powered up and recovered all of his HP and more.

Popple began charging a Limit Break.

Samus came out of Morph Ball form.

Donkey Kong: 50/300 HP

Cranky Kong: 970/1000 HP

Funky Kong: 170/270 HP

Chunky Kong: 270/500 HP

Samus: 110/330 HP

Tartarus: 20/500 HP

Dark Meta-Knight: 300/300 HP

Popple: 20/50 HP (Has Boot Launcher) (Charging Limit Break)

Donkey Kong pulled out a Coconut Gun.

Cranky Kung hit Tartarus with a stick.

Tartarus was defeated!

Funky Kong rammed Samus.

Chunky Kong pulled out his Pineapple Bazooka.

Samus fired a missile at Donkey Kong.

Dark Meta-Knight began charging power.

Popple pulled out a bag. Mushrooms, coins, and hammers started flying out. The hammers hit the Kongs, while the mushrooms and coins went to Popple's gang.

Popple's party was fully healed.

Donkey Kong was defeated!

Lanky Kong joined the battle!

Rouge joined the battle!

Lanky Kong: 400/440 HP

Cranky Kong: 930/1000 HP

Funky Kong: 130/270 HP

Chunky Kong: 230/500 HP (Has Pineapple Bazooka)

Samus: 330/330 HP

Rouge: 230/230 HP

Dark Meta-Knight: 300/300 HP (Charging Power)

Popple: 50/50 HP (Has Boot Launcher)

Lanky Kong punched Popple's party, all at the same time, from a distance.

Dark Meta-Knight took the hits for himself and Popple, as per usual.

Cranky Kong pulled a sword out of his cane.

Funky Kong rammed Rouge.

Chunky Kong fired a pineapple at Rouge.

Samus used a Screw Attack on Funky Kong.

Rouge drop-kicked Funky Kong.

Dark Meta-Knight fired a tornado-like blast at the Kongs, sending them flying to the air, and dropping them to the ground.

Funky Kong was defeated!

Popple aimed carefully, and fired the Boot Launcher at Chunky's Pineapple Bazooka.

The Pineapple Bazooka exploded, hitting all the Kongs.

Lanky Kong: 350/440 HP

Cranky Kong: 880/1000 HP (Has cane-sword)

Chunky Kong: 180/500 HP

Samus: 310/330 HP

Rouge: 110/230 HP

Dark Meta-Knight: 260/300 HP

Popple: 50/50 HP (Has Boot Launcher)

Lanky Kong took out a Grape Blowgun.

Rouge was amused by the various weapons being used. "What's with these guys and… fruit?"

Suddenly, Cranky went up to Dark Meta-Knight and slapped him with a glove. If Dark Meta-Knight's eyes were visible, they would have narrowed. "I accept your challenge."

Cranky swiftly swung his sword at Meta-Knight, who easily jumped over it. Wings sprouted from Meta-Knight, and he flew over Cranky's head, and a rapid series of slashes and parrying ensued, until Meta-Knight fired a blast from his sword at Cranky.

"Fight fair, whippersnapper!"

"And what, by chance, is your definition of fair? Not allowing me to use my skills?"

Dark Meta-Knight flew high into the sky, and shot numerous blasts at Cranky.

"All of this comes from my swordplay. That was your challenge, after all."

The blasts grew closer together, and faster, until Cranky was overwhelmed. Cranky was defeated!

Resume Battle

Lanky Kong: 350/440 HP

Chunky Kong: 180/500 HP

Samus: 310/330 HP

Rouge: 110/230 HP

Dark Meta-Knight: 260/300 HP

Popple: 50/50 HP (Has Boot Launcher)

Lanky shouted something incomprehensible to the rest of the Kongs. They understood, but nobody else did.

Donkey Kong translated, "All right, you win. Take the bananas, we've been beat."

As they were about to march forward, Charade could tell that something was wrong. He tapped Popple on the shoulder for a while as they marched toward the bananas. Finally, Popple turned around and shouted "WHAT? I have not time for games, see?" And then, he saw it.

A pirate ship, outside of the island. A reptile, wearing a crown, was standing at the crow's nest, shouting, "Hand over the booty, or I'll blow all o' ya ter smithereens."

Dixie Kong was outraged. "Funky, you made a deal with HIM? That's K. Rool!"

"I know, Dixie-cat. I figured that these thieves were better than us, so I offered the guy a hundred bananas to help us out. It's all or half, and I'd rather lose half. How about you?"

K. Rool, not hearing the conversation, shouted again. "So, how about it, landlubbers? Hand half the booty over here, and the other half to the mammals."

Protoman looked at the stash. "Are these supposed to be yours? They're not yours, they're not ours. I don't think they belong to the apes, either, they must have gotten them from somewhere. I think that these are literally ripe for the taking, and since we were here first…"

"Is that a no, landlubbers? Then taste defeat! My ship, the mighty Gangplank Galleon, is invincible, ye hear me?"

Begin Battle

Samus: 330/330 HP

Rouge: 230/230 HP

Dark Meta-Knight: 300/300 HP

Popple: 50/50 HP

Gangplank Galleon???/??? HP

Samus loaded Popple into her gun, and began charging.

Rouge hopped aboard the ship.

Dark Meta-Knight hopped aboard the ship.

Popple is inside Samus's gun.

The Gangplank Galleon fired a cannonball at Samus.

Protoman joined the battle!

Skull Kid joined the battle!

Battle on the Ship

Rouge joined the battle!

Dark Meta-Knight joined the battle!

Charade joined the battle!

Tartarus joined the battle!

K. Rool gazed upon the challengers. "So, you've come to challenge me on my home territory? Very well then."

Rouge noticed something wrong. "Your voice, it…"

"Yes, a bit more majestic, if I do say so myself. I am a king, after all."

Tartarus was confused. "A king? I thought you were a pirate!"

"Oh, I am. A king, a pirate, a mad scientist, and a professional boxer. And before this is over, you'll see all of my abilities."

Rouge: 230/230 HP

Dark Meta-Knight: 300/300 HP

Charade: 350/350 HP

Tartarus: 500/500 HP

King K. Rool: 1000/1000 HP

Rouge began charging power.

Dark Meta-Knight slashed at King K. Rool.

Charade scanned K. Rool's mind. A crown suddenly appeared in his hands.

Tartarus smashed K. Rool with his hammer.

King K. Rool threw his crown at the party like a boomerang.

Rouge: 190/230 HP (Charging Power)

Dark Meta-Knight: 260/300 HP

Charade: 310/350 HP (Using King K. Rool Style)

Tartarus: 460/500 HP

King K. Rool: 880/1000 HP

Rouge switched attack order with Tartarus.

Tartarus smashed K. Rool with his hammer.

Dark Meta-Knight slashed at K. Rool.

Charade threw his crown at K. Rool like a boomerang.

Rouge grabbed K. Rool, and flew high into the sky.

Dark Meta-Knight: 260/300 HP

Charade: 310/350 HP (Using King K. Rool Style)

Tartarus: 460/500 HP

Rouge: 190/230 HP (Out of battle)

King K. Rool: 600/1000 HP (Out of battle)

Dark Meta-Knight saw nobody to attack.

Dark Meta-Knight began playing Go Fish with the rest of the party.

Dark Meta-Knight asked Tartarus if he had any threes.

Tartarus had no threes.

Dark Meta-Knight went fishing, but got nothing.

Charade asked Dark Meta-Knight if he had any threes.

Dark Meta-Knight gave Charade his threes.

Charade got a book of threes!

Charade asked Tartarus if he had any kings.

Tartarus had no kings.

Charade went fishing.

Charade got what he wanted!

Charade asked Dark Meta-Knight if he had any kings.

Dark Meta-Knight had no kings.

Charade went fishing, but got nothing.

Tartarus asked Charade if he had any kings.

The other two players attacked Tartarus, who was apparently cheating, for 50 damage.

Rouge came down from the sky and used a Drill Drive, plowing K. Rool into the ground.

The rest of the party stopped playing Go Fish.

Dark Meta-Knight: 260/300 HP

Charade: 310/350 HP (Using King K. Rool Style)

Tartarus: 410/500 HP

Rouge: 190/230 HP

King K. Rool: 400/1000 HP

Dark Meta-Knight fired three energy blasts at King K. Rool.

Charade threw his crown at K. Rool like a boomerang.

Tartarus threw his Go Fish hand at K. Rool's eyes.

King K. Rool was blinded!

Rouge did a three-kick-combo on K. Rool.

King K. Rool threw his crown… into the water.

King K. Rool is no longer blind!

King K. Rool began whining about how he wasted a perfectly good crown.

Battle with the Ship

Samus, with Popple in her gun, turned into a Morph Ball, and went inside Protoman's buster.

Protoman began charging power.

Skull Kid put on a Bunny Hood.

Popple is being used as ammo within ammo.

The ship fires cannons at the entire party.

Popple and Samus were unaffected, due to being inside Protoman's buster.

Samus: 330/330 HP (Charging Power) (In Morph Ball Form) (In Protoman's Buster)

Protoman: 300/350 HP (Charging Power)

Skull Kid: 100/150 HP (Wearing Bunny Hood)

Popple: 50/50 HP (In Samus's gun) (In Samus' Morph Ball) (In Protoman's Buster)

Gangplank Galleon???/??? HP

Samus is inside of Protoman's buster.

Protoman fires Samus at the ship. Samus comes out of Morph Ball form, and fires Popple at the hull of the ship, at very close range.

The ship has a hole in it!

The ship began to sink…

Skull Kid, with his newfound agility, steals two cannons from the ship.

Popple steals a cannon from the ship.

The ship fires a cannon at Skull Kid.

Samus: 330/330

Protoman: 300/350 HP

Skull Kid: 50/150 HP (Wearing Bunny Hood) (Has 2 cannons)

Popple: 50/50 HP (Has a cannon)

Gangplank Galleon???/??? HP

Samus shoots a regular blast at K. Rool from a distance.

Protoman begins charging power.

Skull Kid fires both cannons at K. Rool.

Popple steals the last cannon from the ship.

The ship can't do anything!

Samus: 330/330

Protoman: 300/350 HP

Skull Kid: 50/150 HP (Wearing Bunny Hood) (Has 2 cannons)

Popple: 50/50 HP (Has 2 cannons)

Gangplank Galleon???/??? HP

Samus fires a missile at K. Rool.

Protoman fires at K. Rool with his charged buster.

Skull Kid fires two cannons at K. Rool.

Popple fires two cannons at K. Rool.

Battle on the Ship

King K. Rool was defeated!

K. Rool, now without a crown, put on a pirate hat. "All right, mateys. Time for ye to walk the plank!"

Battle outside the ship

Out of the sinking ship, a group of maybe 10 reptilian pirates ran out, while others went to repairing the ship.

Yuffie had no idea there would be this much fighting. "Do you think we might be in over our heads, Popple?"

"You're kidding, right? This is small stuff, see? This is just to make our presence known. We'll take these bananas with ease, and use the money to pull an even grander heist! We're all gonna be rich, see? And no pirates, lizards, or stupid monkeys are gonna stop us!"

A man was pacing around the top floor of Bowser's castle. His long, flowing hair was silver, he was holding a sword that was about ten feet long, and out of his back, a single black wing had sprouted.

He could sense what was going on in the battle with K. Rool. It was quite interesting, what these mortal men would do simply to get rich.

Bowser came up the stairs. "So, how's the fight, Seph?"

"The king is losing, and losing badly."

"What a surprise. Not. Seriously, what's with Mario and that gang of his, thinking that they can just waltz in and-"

Sephiroth put his hand in Bowser's face, cutting him off mid-sentence. "It's not Mario. It's a group of brigands."

"You mean K. Rool's getting beat by a bunch of thieves? After I did so much for him, letting him change forms like that, even powering him up with the Star Rods? And he dares to lose to a couple robbers?"

"Robbers? More like berserkers. These people are insane… they hunger for wealth. Nothing will stand in their way." Sephiroth smiled. "I look forward to meeting them."