CHAPTER 6 – Alice

"Clean cup! Clean cup! Move down! Move down!"

The hatter insistently shoves Roxas to the next seat. Roxas lets out a puff of air as he sits roughly on the new wooden chair. He should have expected to be treated thusly. It's only the fifth time he's been told he needs a clean cup, though what was wrong with his last cup he'll never know.

At one point a bird with blue and purple feathers, a yellow beak, a top hat, and a waistcoat lands squarely in the middle of the table, scattering the danishes. The Hatter sized up the enemy and raised his fists for a fight, but the bird did not seem keen on a tussle—he told the Hatter as much. He also kept warbling about something that sounded like armada. (Armor? Army?) The March Hare had scoffed and tossed a red cherry that had been atop one of the danishes and the bird flew after it into the woods in a mad flurry of feathers.

"Cheeky birds," the Hare says after the intruder disappears. "They can't keep their attention when they see something red and shiny."

It was after the this happened Roxas aimed his questioning expression at Kairi. She giggled, shrugged, and curved her hand in a way that said it was how it was supposed to be. He's been here before. He should have remembered: they're all mad in Wonderland. That had made Roxas heave a sigh and slump further down his chair. He then noticed a feather had landed on his saucer in the earlier commotion and tucked it away in his jacket pocket.

Kairi takes all this madness much better than him. Whenever the exclamation of "Move down!" bellows, she stands up and moves over with a smile on her face and laughter in her eyes. When she has a cup taken from her hand, she holds out her hands for a few seconds and waits for the next cup. Sometimes that cup comes, sometimes it doesn't. If it doesn't, she simply places her hands in her lap and watches the others bemusedly.

Maybe that's why the Hatter and Hare keep offering her a new cup or a scone. When Roxas tries getting his own, the others find reasons why it needs to be knocked out of his hands.

"And another teacup for the princess!" the March Hare declares. (See?) That is until he scrutinizes the cup once more. When he does, he snatches it out of Kairi's hands and tosses it over his shoulder. "No, no, no, that won't do at all." He clicks his tongue several times.

"You're absolutely right, my friend," the Hatter agrees. "Where are the flowers for the flower princess? Yes, we need a teacup with a floral pattern."

Perhaps the two Wonderland citizens remembered that Kairi said she was the princess of Radiant Garden from last time they were here because Roxas hadn't heard her say anything about it. Or perhaps their madness is a perceptive kind.

"Here's the one—No!" the Hare declares as he tosses the delicate cup and matching plate in the air. They land on a teapot in the middle of the table with a hard clank yet they do not break. Roxas blinks at the sight a few times. He wholeheartedly expected them to break. Because they didn't he's fairly sure there's magic in Wonderland. A subtle magic that courses through not only the people and animals but the objects as well.

"This, this will do nicely," the Hatter says daintily, handing Kairi a teacup. "You can't have the one with blue. Blue, my dear, is not for you."

"Absolutely not," the March Hare agrees.

"I absolutely agree," Kairi says with one nod of her head. "Blue is not my color. Clashes with my complexion."

"And your personality, but that goes without say."

"Once in a blue moon..." comes the delicate voice from inside the cup. Kairi looks down into her cup to see the Dormouse cradled within the porcelain.

"Hello there," she says. Her voice is sweeter than the sugar in the upside-down sugar bowl resting by Roxas's elbow. "Comfortable?"

The Dormouse gives a hum and sing-songs a few lines Roxas doesn't recognize. Kairi strokes his head with one of her fingers before setting him aside. The March Hare puts a plate overtop the teacup.

"Needs his privacy," he says.

"This has been quite the tea party, gentlemen," Kairi says, and the other two square their shoulders, tug at their lapels, and beam with pride, "but I was under the impression Alice would be here. I have some business to—"

"Ah! Alice!" the Hatter exclaims.

"The tea party crasher." The March Hare crosses his arms. "She's cavorting with the Queen."

"Quite," the Mad Hatter says. "She quickly co-opted to leave, keeping an important date with her kindred spirit, the White Rabbit."

"She crossed the Queen's path who confronted her."

At the mention of the Queen of Hearts, Roxas's grip on the armrests tightens. One look from Kairi and the two are already standing and heading for the fence lining the property.

"Gentlemen, I've had a wonderful time and hope to meet you again soon, but I really must be going."

"Keep quiet!" the Hatter calls to continue his word game.

Roxas and Kairi step quickly as they venture further into the darkening woods. It's late afternoon now. They've been at the Hatter's Tea Party for well over an hour after having arrived at Wonderland only a couple hours previously. Though he knows of the threat he and Kairi create together, he'd much rather not encounter anything in the dark in Wonderland. This place has always kept him on edge.

"You met the Queen of Hearts before?" Roxas asks.

Kairi has to nearly jog to keep pace with him. Roxas takes a moment of pride in how much he's grown from the scrawny fifteen year old he was to a lean-muscled eighteen year old. His legs and torso stretched quite a lot before his sixteenth birthday. The second he hit his sixteen-and-a-half mark, he finished shooting up like a weed and began filling out. Much thanks is due to the training regimen. Roxas's newfound muscles certainly helped with sparring against Riku. Seriously, that guy was a mountain from the start.

Roxas would slow down, but Alice's head is on the line—literally. Instead, he takes Kairi's hand and pulls her forward. And it's not weird. Holding hands isn't weird for them. Not since before the party at Belle and Adam's two days prior.

They ended up staying one more day at Belle's after the party because of the sheer exhaustion from the party. That was a day of lazy activities, tired smiles, and comfort. Pure comfort. A bit of warmth prickles inside Roxas when he thinks about how things weren't weird between him and Kairi yesterday. How they aren't weird between them now. It's like they've gained the friendship level he has with Xion and Axel—LEA (dang it) and she has with Riku and Sora. A deep friendship based on enjoyment and trust of one another.

Because of this, Roxas gives in to the little urges he has like wanting to hold Kairi's hand. It's not weird. It's comfortable. Natural even at this point.

"I've met her once," Kairi says in answer to Roxas's question. "She's..."

"Something."

"No kidding. She somehow convinced herself that I was a threat to her crown. I made the mistake of using the word 'princess' in front of her."

Roxas winces. "Ouch."

Kairi laughs. "I'm not making that mistake again. I just hope Alice is ok."

"I've met the Queen too. It wasn't good. I was still in the Organization then. I hope she doesn't recognize me."

"I don't think she will," Kairi assures. "She's screamed for so many executions I doubt she remembers all her victims."

"That's...only slightly comforting, but I'll take it. We should have a plan before going in there."

"Any suggestions?"

"If we get separated, we meet back at the Gummi ship."

"Alice's safety is first priority. Oh! We should have a cover story."

"What do you have in mind?"

The two of them discuss the details of their plan before finally reaching the castle. When they do, the Card Soldiers are standing guard outside the entrance.

"Halt! Who goes there?"

Kairi bows to them. Roxas follows her lead. "Pardon the intrusion," she says, "but we have traveled far in hopes of catching a glimpse of the Queen of Hearts. We hear her radiance is beyond compare."

The playing cards murmur to one another. One of them disappears into the castle while the other commands the two outsiders to stay put.

When the first returns, he addresses the two outsiders. "Her majesty the Queen demands your presence in her gardens at once. Follow me! Don't dawdle!"

Kairi and Roxas follow the Seven of Hearts through the entrance and around the castle until they make it to the gardens. It's a beautiful flower garden filled with red roses. (As red as the blood of her victims, Roxas thinks. He's still a little bitter about their last encounter.) The garden is surrounded by a maze of high hedges. (Roxas wonders if some condemned citizens are still hiding in that maze.)

In the middle of a green space, the Queen of Hearts stands in all her gaudy glory. Her dress whirls about her as she orders her harried servants around during a game of croquet. Roxas feels dread build inside his stomach when the Seven of Hearts brings the Queen's attention to him and Kairi. Her piercing black eyes aren't crazy yet, but they're on the edge, ready to snap at a moment's notice.

"Come here! Don't stand there like hooligans. Let me see you."

As previously agreed upon, Kairi steps forward first with Roxas flanking her. The Queen is more receptive to her gender—when she doesn't think they're trying to take her crown. Sure enough, the Queen's mug spreads into a grin at the sight of Kairi who has put on her princess smile. She also clasps her hands together in front of her and sways slightly, adding to the innocent look she's trying to portray.

"A young lady!" the Queen of Hearts exclaims. "Look at you, my dear. Aren't you precious. You've just finished your manners lessons, haven't you? Finally ready to be out in the world."

"Your majesty, it is an absolute honor." Kairi gives a deep bow. She's in her regular clothes today, no dress, just a skirt, yet the bow does not suffer for it. Surely that's a princess trait, being able to give an elegant bow in any attire. "They spoke of your radiance, but no words do your appearance justice."

"What a delight you are. Come! Come stand by me." The Queen beckons Kairi forward. When Kairi moves, the Queen notices Roxas finally. The change is instantaneous. She stands up straight and places one hand on her hip. "And who might this hooligan be?"

"He's my guard," Kairi explains quickly. "He was to escort me here."

The Queen grunts. "He's of no use now that you're under my protection. Go stand over there, boy! Make yourself useful by carrying my opponent's equipment. She is—she—little girl! Where are you?!"

"Coming, your majesty!" At the Queen's bellow, Alice appears from behind the line of cards along the edge of the garden. Kairi and Roxas's entrance had given her enough of an opening to begin an escape but not enough for her to finish it. She comes to stand near the Queen and gives a bow.

"Stand up straight. Feet apart. Open your mouth. Remember what I taught you?"

"Y-Y-YES, your majesty!" Alice exclaims, stressing the first word exactly how the ruthless ruler taught her.

The Queen is appeased. She smiles and nods. "Very good." She points to Roxas. "This boy shall carry your equipment."

"Yes, your majesty," Alice says. She hands Roxas the bird and hedgehog acting as her equipment. They stretch out in his arms and wriggle in an attempt to escape.

"Now whose turn was it?" the Queen asks.

"Your turn, your majesty," Alice bows.

The Queen smiles again. "That's right. My turn. Always my turn."

"Of course, your majesty."

When the Queen turns to the game, that is when Alice dares make eye contact with Kairi. They make several hand gestures and facial expressions in silent communication. The second the Queen looks back to them they return to their innocent smiles and wide eyes.

"Excellent play, your majesty," Alice says.

"Oh absolutely," Kairi agrees. "No one could possibly beat you."

The Queen of Hearts closes her eyes and wobbles her head with pride. "I am the best. Now, your turn, little girl."

Alice takes her "equipment" from Roxas and brings them into position.

"Now, young lady," the Queen says to Kairi while Alice struggles through her turn, "what do you do?"

"I'm sorry? Oh! You mean for a job." Kairi fans her face with her hand. She's nervous, Roxas can tell. They hadn't talked about this part, having too little time to do so. Kairi has to improvise at this point. "I'm a singer."

"A singer! Wonderful. You must sing."

"Oh, I don't think—"

"YOU MUST SING!" The Queen's roar rattles everyone present. Alice's equipment scatters. She quickly tries recapturing them lest she anger the Queen.

"O-Of course, your majesty."

"Wait!" The Queen's piercing eyes turn to Roxas. Roxas gulps. "You. Don't you sing?"

"Roxas doesn't si—"

"I am the Queen! My word is law! SING!"

Roxas rushes to stand beside Kairi. Now he's nervous too. He's never sung before. Sure, he sang before with the others when they were watching a musical together in Riku's basement and that other time when everyone was belting out a sea shanty that day at the beach with the bonfire. But he's never actually sung.

He looks to Kairi who gives him an apologetic shrug. Roxas clears his throat.

"Well?" The Queen taps her foot impatiently.

"When you wish upon a star," Kairi begins. Slowly. Allowing the tune to settle.

Smart move. Everyone knows this song. King Mickey had picked up that song from Geppetto, a good friend of his. He often sings it to himself and taught it to everyone else.

Kairi gives Roxas a pointed look. He clears his throat again and sings the next line.

"Makes no difference who you are."

The sheer surprise on Kairi's face is almost offending.

"LOUDER!" The Queen leads her request by example.

"Anything your heart desires will come to you," he and Kairi sing together.

"E-nun-ciate!" the Queen demands.

"If your heart is in your dreams,

No request is too extreme,

When you wish upon a star as dreamers do."

Actually, they sound pretty good together by the end of the first verse. Their harmony finally settles as they get used to each other. They sing through the rest of the song and adjust whenever the Queen orders it.

As the song carries on, Roxas takes note of Alice subtly retreating while the Queen's back is turned.

"Follow Alice," Kairi whips out in between lines of the song. Roxas barely picks up on her words. "Doesn't matter who you are—I'll be right behind you—Anything your heart desires..."

Finally, the song ends and Roxas feels like he can relax again, especially since Alice has made it around the corner out of sight.

"Hm," the Queen grunts and says nothing more regarding the performance. "Back to the game. Whose turn is it?"

"Why your turn, your majesty," Kairi says. Her exaggerated bow captures the Queen's attention. Roxas moves back into his original position. "Always your turn, your majesty."

"Always my turn."

When Roxas nears the cards, a few are eyeing him suspiciously. He scratches his head and puts a stumped look on his face. "Huh," he mutters for good measure, "I wonder where that equipment disappeared to. I'd better find it before the Queen chops off my head."

At that last phrase, the suspicious cards are no longer suspicious. They nod to each other and whisper agreement. They've seen the Queen's wrath first-hand. They allow Roxas to wander off a little farther as he pretends to search for the equipment. When he gets to the edge of the wall, Roxas looks back to see Kairi clapping grandly at the Queen of Heart's latest play. The Queen again closes her eyes and does the head-bobble thing. When she does, Kairi gestures at him to get moving. And he does. They agreed that Alice came first since she is the one who has no knowledge of fighting. She can't defend herself. This is them putting Alice first, with Roxas leaving Kairi to appease to unappeasable Queen.

He doesn't feel good about it. He takes out the two guards at the front entrance for good measure and doesn't feel good. He catches up with Alice and still doesn't feel good. Alice had stayed near the edge of the forest.

"You were with Kairi," Alice says when he approaches. "You are...?"

"Roxas," he finishes. He holds out his hand but quickly takes it back when Alice gives a small bow. He bows to her in return. "We should be going before—"

"OFF WITH HER HEAD!"

The absolute roar of the Queen can be heard from miles around. Roxas's stomach sinks into the ground. He turns back to the castle, his body half in position to sprint back in true hero fashion and save the princess.

But he doesn't. He has a different princess to save.

Card Soldiers suddenly swamp the grounds. He sees a splash of distinct red—Kairi—sprint out the side entrance. Her keyblade isn't out, but she doesn't need it yet. It's all about running at this point. Which might be a good idea for him and Alice too. A few of the Card Soldiers have found their knocked-out pairs at the front entrance and are calling for half the guards to charge in their direction.

"Sorry you don't have time to get to know me, but you have to trust me if we're going to get out of this." Roxas's rushes his words.

"Well, if Kairi trusts you then I shall too—oh!"

"Sorry, princess!" Roxas says as he sweeps her into his arms then puts her on his back. She weighs practically nothing. Being several years younger than Kairi means several pounds lighter as well. "Trust me!"

"O-Ok!" Alice says, though she sounds like she needs more convincing.

They're spotted a few seconds later despite Roxas's mad dash. War cries echo in his ears and through the forest. They threaten him and the princess. Nothing distinct can be heard from the mass of voices, but they promise nothing good. The turf works to Roxas's advantage, though. There are too many Card Soldiers in too confusing of a place to remain organized. The trees scatter them, shuffling their distinct order, yet they stay hot on the target's trail.

Past the singing feminine flowers, past Absolem's mushroom, past the Mad Hatter's house, Roxas runs. His chest heaves and blood pounds through his veins as he pushes himself to go just a little farther. (This is going to get him in better shape than training ever did. Good cardio workout. Then again, it helps motivation when lives are on the line.)

"Where—are we...oof!" Alice tries keeping a shred of class within her while being jostled in the run. She doesn't think she can take much more of this.

"There!" Roxas shouts, half in answer and half out of sheer relief. He spies the red and yellow spacecraft where he and Kairi left it this morning on a patch of open pasture. The second he's close enough, the keyblade wielder puts down the Princess of Heart and opens the Gummi Ship. "Get in."

Alice does as ordered all the while muttering, "Quite a strange form of fortress. I do believe it will—"

The rest is lost to Roxas who fights off a few of the faster cards. Once they're out of the way, he climbs in and gets the ship going. To his dismay, some of the cards have latched onto the ship. Their weapons, though useless to keep the ship down, manage to get a firm grip on the hull and wings and tear at the metal there. Roxas lets a few choice words slip pass his lips. He shakes them off well enough, but that in turn shakes the gummi ship. One nasty turn makes him nearly lose control of the vessel. His grip on the steering becomes painful as he pulls back as hard as he can to avoid hitting a nearby tree. He pulls and pulls and pulls until the wing gets clipped and the ship does a one-eighty then lands hard in a nearby clearing.

The absolute stillness after such turmoil is almost comical. Roxas hasn't released his white-knuckled grip on the steering and Alice has yet to right herself from lying sideways in the seat while clinging to the armrest.

"I...I think we're ok," Roxas finally says. No Card Soldiers have appeared, and when he opens the top hatch there isn't any noise indicating their approach.

"I-I see," Alice says shakily as she rights herself. She runs her hands over the skirt of her dress. "I-I-I think perhaps I-I'd like to be dropped off for the night. Kairi may visit me again tomorrow after things have calmed."

Kairi. Roxas heart gives a painful jolt. He tries very, very, very hard not to think about Kairi in this situation. She said take care of Alice and let her deal with the repercussions of the Red Queen. Kairi can take care of herself. She can.

"Right. Ok. I'll escort you back."

The Hatter's house is where Alice requests to be dropped off, claiming she has spent plenty of time there and now feels comfortable enough to spend the night—or go home from there. Roxas isn't sure exactly how her "transportation" works. He leaves that to her.

They make their way through the woods. The sun has begun settling over Wonderland. It makes the shadows deeper and the oddities of the world creepy rather than quirky. Roxas keeps a sharp eye and his keyblade out as he guides Alice. He's finally regained his breath, and he's sure his face has lost some of its resemblance to a tomato. The adrenaline from before may be gone, but the readiness to fight remains.

"A year left," Roxas answers Alice's question to how much schooling he has left. It's the latest in a long string of questions the younger princess has had for him in their trek. Kairi wasn't kidding when she said the girl was curious. Roxas feels like his life has been meticulously pieced together though tid-bit questions that are insignificant in and of themselves but together get a clear outsider's perspective on who Roxas is.

"Only one. My, you must be quite excited to be almost done with your schooling," Alice muses. "My sister went on to become a teacher after her schooling but only lasted a year before she was married. Then she stayed home and had children. What do you wish to do after your schooling is finished?"

"Uh, I don't know," Roxas says. "Whatever the King wants me to do, I guess."

"I see. Well, the King can't possibly have a say in all aspects of your life. Where might you like to live?"

Roxas stops, not because of the question but because he sees a couple Card Soldiers in the distance. He tugs Alice with him behind a tree and waits for them to pass. They're too far away to tell what they're saying, but they don't appear on the warpath anymore. Maybe just scouting at this point. Roxas and Alice continue on their way when the cards do.

"Well?" Alice pesters.

"Well what?" Roxas asks, already having forgotten the question.

"Where do you hope to live someday?"

"Wherever. I'm fine with anything."

Alice huffs. "What about a family? Do you hope to marry someday? Would you settle down where they would want to live? Would that sway your decision?"

"You have a lot of question," Roxas comments.

"And you have far too few answers. Honestly, you're quite drab."

"I'm drab?"

"Quite!"

"In all honesty, Princess, your compass might be a little skewed. You're the one who's been wandering around a place that has absolutely nothing normal about it. When I give a normal answer like normal people give, I'm 'drab'. I hope we reach the Hatter's soon so you can have answers of your peculiar kind."

Alice is struck dumb at Roxas's blunt words. It's at her surprised and slightly offended look that has Roxas feeling bad.

"I'm sorry. That was—"

Alice's laughter cuts him off. It isn't a ladylike laugh, not at first. Starting out it's a loud laugh with a snort and several giggles thrown in. Then, as if realizing the sounds coming from her, Alice corrects her behavior and coughs in order to recover.

"Oh, I'm very sorry. It struck me as funny. Come to think of it, you're right. I hardly consider normal, normal while in Wonderland. I also apologize for prying. My sister says it is unladylike."

Roxas gives her a smile. "No hard feelings. I wish I could provide more interesting answers."

"Don't worry, you're quite interesting. That is why I keep questioning you. Every person is a puzzle." Alice fluffs her hair and brushes at the skirt of her dress. "I can see why Kairi is traveling with you. Though everyone she brings with her seems to be a character. Are you aware of a fellow named Goofy?"

Roxas chuckles. "Yeah, we're acquainted."

"Strange individual yet extremely perceptive. He was certainly entertaining to speak with."

Soon after, they reach the Hatter's home. The trio at the table covered with teacups, kettles, and scones greet the young girl and demand a retelling of her adventures. It is here that Alice bids Roxas goodbye until tomorrow. The Hatter and the Hare interrupting Alice is the last thing Roxas hears before the quiet of the forest takes over.

He and Kairi agreed to meet where the Gummi ship was first parked so that's where he will go. He would bring the Gummi ship there but after the damage done to the wings, Roxas would rather keep it grounded until he can have a more thorough look at it. The landing site's not too far away, and he gets there in relatively good time. But the now-empty space is vacant. No princess present.

Roxas's legs want him to sit down and rest after his overuse of them today, however, the anxious knot in his stomach keeps him up and moving. Kairi isn't there. This alone is enough to keep the blonde keyblade wielder worried. Roxas thoroughly combs through the trees in the surrounding areas. Still no Kairi. No sign of her either. Nothing.

After a full hour's wait (Roxas can't wait any longer because he's sure his insides will implode if he does), he decides to walk a little further out. Then, after no sign of Kairi again, a little further, and further until he finally decides to head out in the direction of where he last saw Kairi. He leaves an X mark on one of the trees made by his keyblade. Hopefully that will be enough of a sign for her to know he was here and will be back so she should stay put.

Much to Roxas's vexation, the sunshine is almost completely gone. He wishes to join the creatures he sees scurrying to hide from the scary night. Roxas isn't afraid of the dark, but he's none too keen on what's hiding in the shadows of Wonderland, to know what owns those eyes that watch him from among the trees. Not knowing one's opponent can be a great hindrance, one Roxas likes to avoid. Still, he's not about to go back to the Gummi ship for sanctuary. Kairi's still out there.

Alone.

Possibly hurt.

And it's his fault.

Kairi will argue against it being his fault, saying she helped come up with the plan, but Roxas will carry the guilt with him. He was ordered to protect her. He had the responsibility. Yet he still chose to go along with the plan of leaving her alone with the Queen of Hearts. The Queen of Hearts. The others won't let him hear the end of it if they find out. They wouldn't trust him either, with her or any other mission.

Each step brings more worry into Roxas's stomach. It grows until it becomes near frantic. He's half-running at this point. He needs to find her, needs to know she's safe. He has come to care about her too much to lose her.

A quiet string of words whisper themselves in Roxas's ears making him stop dead in his tracks. He waits, but the world is silent again. He takes another few steps and the near-nonexistent words return. No, Roxas isn't crazy. The words are there. Somewhere. Coming from someone. Or something.

It is then he realizes the eyes of the nocturnal Wonderland creatures are no longer there, shining in the dark. They've disappeared.

They're hiding.

He takes a few more steps and the words return, only this time they don't stop. They're a string of incoherent murmurings that make Roxas's spine tingle and the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. It soon turns into the familiar hopelessness he has come to associate with the heartless.

He hears something else then too. A grunt and heavy breathing. Then—"No!"

"Kairi!" Roxas shouts.

"Roxas?!"

Roxas takes off in the direction of her voice. Not ten steps away, he is attacked—no wait, not attacked. It's Kairi that throws herself to him, her face against his shoulder, one arm wrapped around him, the other still clutching her keyblade. However, a few seconds after she makes contact with him, she drops her weapon which disappears in a brilliant yet subtle flash of light.

Roxas has to pause and recognize that it is her and not the heartless he still feels the presence of. When he does, he wraps one arm protectively around her while the other is outstretched with one of his keyblades, ready to attack the threat that dare hurt her.

"Where is it?" he asks the trembling girl. "Are you ok? What attacked you?"

Even as he speaks, the stony feeling diminishes. The heartless is retreating. He doesn't see it, but the feeling is a surefire tell if the shadowy attackers are present.

It isn't until the feeling completely go away that Roxas releases his keyblade and brings his other hand to Kairi. She has fistfuls of his shirt to keep him from disappearing. Her cheek presses against his shoulder while her forehead touches his neck.

And she's crying.

Now, Roxas knows Kairi isn't weak. It's a cold, hard fact that she has gotten extremely thick skin since declaring she will no longer be left behind on Sora and Riku's adventures, since her training with Lea, and since the chaos that happened. Though she's less skilled, she has fought harder and forced herself through more grueling heartless fights than Xion or Lea or even Roxas himself at times, meaning it takes a lot to rattle her.

To see her in this state...

"Kairi?" Roxas says gently, fighting to keep the urgency from his voice. "Are you hurt?"

"It—the Gummi ship was gone," Kairi chokes out. She turns her head so her face presses against his clothes which absorb her tears. "I thought you..."

Roxas holds her closer. "I wasn't leaving you. I didn't. I—the cards were attacking it. It's parked in a different spot. I'm sorry. I didn't—"

"I was alone. I'm all alone. I'm always alone."

"You're not—Kairi, I'm with you. I'm here. It's all—"

"I can't keep being left alone." Kairi fights back a sob. She doesn't appear to have heard him. "That—the heartless. It...It brought out my fear. You—You know my nightmare. It—I...it told me they were true. It is true. I'm going to be alone the rest of my life."

Roxas catches the truth. Her panic isn't about the heartless. It's about the fact that she was by herself, possibly deserted, in a strange land in the dark with the threat of capture and heartless hanging over her. She felt some reality from what her nightmares threatened. Being alone with darkness creeping in and no hope of rescue. Having a heartless attack her was the last thing she needed when she was nearly living a piece of her nightmare. It only served to help bring out her fear. And, as Roxas has previously heard her admit, her greatest fear is being alone.

It makes his own heart break. It makes him feel terrible for leaving her earlier. It makes him want to pull her closer and promise her anything she needs to hear in order to make her feel safe again. Safe and with someone that cares because he does care. Quite a lot.

"I won't leave you alone," Roxas near whispers. He hadn't even made a conscious decision—to stay with Kairi, support Kairi, drag and be dragged by Kairi in nearly all their adventures, but it is his decision now, and he is sticking to it.

"Oh please." The bitterness in her voice portrays her physical ache at her wanting to believe his lie. It's almost offensive to have her not believe him. Hadn't he tried to convince her he liked being with her on this journey? Didn't he tell her he's there to protect her and that's exactly what he will do?

(Well, he tried. He might have botched this last bit just a little. Maybe—if he begs—she'll forgive him.)

"You c-can't promise that," Kairi hiccups then sniffs. She pulls back a little and presses her gloved hand to her nose and mouth. She doesn't look directly at him. Her shoulders are slumped and her head is bowed. Opposite her chipper, proud princess stance. It does not suit her. "You ha-have your own dreams and plans for—for the future. You can't stick by me. And you have Lea and Xion. That's your trio."

This throws Roxas somewhat. A trio...huh. He hadn't really thought about it. Thinking about it now, it certainly makes sense. Him, Lea, and Xion. Yeah. They were a trio of sorts (though not lately). "I don't—"

"Everyone's in their trio. You, Lea, and Xion. Ventus, Terra, and Aqua. Now it's Sora, Riku, and Naminé."

"Naminé?"

"What? You haven't noticed?" Kairi laughs bitterly, but the bitterness gets lost in a hiccuped sob. "Riku and Naminé can't get enough of each other. And Sora's gotten to know her a lot while he was away. He cares about her more than me."

"Kairi—"

"I'm phased out. Everyone's got their f-friends, and I'm the one that's going to be sh-shipped off to Radiant Garden alone to be the one that everyone w-wonders what happened to years later. I'll be a stupid, delicate princess in a castle with suitors and royal traditions and other stupid stuff that I can't do like they want me t-t-to. I'll never get to see anyone. I'll be all alone—"

At this point, Kairi absolutely breaks. Roxas moves to hold her again. He has to practically hold her up. She clings to him like a lifeline, and he wraps his arms around her to try and keep her body from shaking in such a violent manner.

He wonders when was the last time Kairi cried—really cried. He knows he hasn't let himself have a moment of vulnerability in several years. And certainly not in front of other people. Though the friend group he and Kairi have been a part of are more willing to open up and show weakness to one another than probably most others in any world, they still fight to keep their personal darkness from surfacing.

This is Kairi's darkness. Her weakness. Her vulnerability. She's showing it to him now. Not in the snippets that she has told him on these past few worlds, but completely now in tears and broken words.

Roxas brings one of his hands up from her back to stroke her hair. He lets the soft strands slide through his fingers and hopes it's a comfort as he lets her cry.

Then he starts humming. He hums the tune from earlier, the one that's become a bit of a lullaby for him and the others. He hopes her earlier reaction means he is a good singer.

He takes this a step further by guiding her right hand into his left and placing his right onto her waist. Gently, he guides her in a small sway that could be mistaken as a dance.

"We haven't danced here yet," Roxas near-whispers to her. "Didn't want to break our streak."

Kairi takes a deep, shuddering breath and keeps herself tucks next to him. After Roxas finishes the third verse she pulls away, wiping at her damp face.

Her eyes don't quite meet his. "Before today I didn't know you could sing," she admits.

"I keep all my talents hidden," Roxas says. He dips his head a little to try and catch her eye. She continues her avoidance. "Don't want the others feeling inferior, you know."

This gets a laugh (short and dull, but still a laugh) out of her. Progress.

"Is singing required to be a princess? Because I think I might join your little group. I've got a great voice."

Kairi smiles. Roxas can see this because the iridescent eyes of the Wonderland creatures have returned. They stare at the strange duo in their woods. A dozen mini spotlights illuminating their moment.

(They aren't creepy anymore. They're a welcomed guest in the privacy the darkness brings. Roxas wonders when the change happened.)

"It helps fight off the heartless. My secret weapon."

Another laugh (lighter and slightly longer). "Oh yeah? How does that work? You woo them into surrendering?"

"That's exactly what I do. It's too powerful to use in front of mere mortals, though. That's why you never heard it before."

"I see. Then I'm glad you've kept me safe all these years from the potency of your voice."

Roxas can't help but snort at her choice of words. (Potency. Ha.) Kairi finally meets his eyes and gives him a ghost of a smile. Roxas places one hand on her shoulder. They're still fairly close together. He bends his head a little to maintain eye contact.

"Kairi," he says, serious, "I'm really, really sorry about making you think I abandoned you. I had to move the ship or else they would have ruined it and gotten Alice. I went back to the site the second I dropped her off at the Hatter's, and you weren't there. I waited then I went to find you. I promise I didn't abandon you. I'm here. I'm not leaving you."

Kairi's eyes flicker to the ground then back up, finally meeting his. (Why are they violet? It's impossible. Impossibly beautiful. Roxas can't stop staring at them, illuminated in the tiny spotlights.)

"I know you didn't. I honestly knew you didn't abandon me, but it—it struck the wrong chord with me. That little fear. After I saw that you and the ship were gone, that heartless appeared. I-I tried fighting it, but it avoided me when I tried attacking. Then it followed me when I tried evading. It kept getting closer and closer without actually touching me." Kairi sucks in a hard breath. "Then it was as if all my fears just appeared—like they were summoned. It—I couldn't think straight. I couldn't see. I'm...I freaked out. I'm sorry."

(Sorry?! What on earth is she sorry for?) Roxas shakes his head. "No, hey. It's fine. Your situation was bound to bring up those thoughts. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Kairi smiles. She leans forward—

(Is she going to kiss him?! Oh man, Roxas is not prepared for this despite thinking about it far more than he'd ever admit to. What does he do? How does a person kiss?! He's never done this before. Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man—)

—and presses her forehead against his. "You were there when it counted. And you're here now. That's more than enough. You are more than enough." Then she pulls away, but remains only a few inches from his face.

Roxas can't seem breathe properly.

(Oh man.)

"We should—" Roxas's voice cracks on the second word. (Dammit. He thought that stopped happening when he was sixteen.) "We should...are you tired? I think we should assess the damage to the ship and see what we can do before settling in for the night. It's been quite the day."

Kairi eases back from him. (Roxas wants to give in to the desire to pull her back to him, even if only for a hug.) "You're right. I'm exhausted. Do you know which way the ship is?"

Roxas leads the way back to the ship. The two travel close enough that their arms brush against one another. A nice, unspoken way of knowing the other person is there. It's the first calm moment they've had since arriving in Wonderland.

And yet one thing stubbornly sticks in Roxas's mind.

"Hey Kairi?"

"Hm?"

(Roxas likes it when she does that little hum of acknowledgement. It's such a girl thing. It's cute. She's cute.)

"You won't be alone."

Kairi's gentle sigh along with her "I know," tells Roxas she doesn't believe him.

He takes her hand, grasping it tightly with his own. "You won't be. I promise."

Kairi reciprocates his firm grip but refrains from speaking.


The Gummi ship—the poor, poor Gummi ship—is not unfixable, but it isn't in too great of shape either. Roxas and Kairi do a damage check. The engine, Kairi says, looks good, if a little worn. Needs some more fuel and a rest. The wings are worse off, Roxas observes. Some torn metal and a bent wing. Not good stuff.

They discuss their options before finally concluding that they have to call Chip n' Dale. The call to the mechanic duo ends with them in a tiny panic (no jab at their size intended). They chat with one another at a million miles regarding the damage. Finally, Chip snaps his fingers and exclaims, "Riku!"

Turns out Riku is in a world not too far from Wonderland. He has the knowledge to help with repairs and some extra supplies to make the repairs happen. They give him a call then report back to Kairi and Roxas that he will be there by early morning.

When the call ends, Kairi turns to Roxas with a sweet smile and pleading in her eyes.

"Do you think, maybe, we not tell Riku about what happened in the woods? When Riku gets worried, he gets mad. And when he gets mad, he makes rash decisions. I don't want him pulling me out of this trip."

Roxas is all for it. He'd rather not give Riku another reason to think less of him. And didn't he already kind of sugarcoat this kind of situation when he talked to the King about Agrabah? Yeah, Roxas is ok with tweaking the truth again. "It stays between us."

Kairi gives him her princess smile.


Riku arrives early the next morning in all his tall, stoic glory. (The jerk still has a couple of inches on Roxas. Terra and Lea are the only two that rival him in height.)

"Riku!" Kairi runs to embrace him. He drops his toolbox before she leaps into his arms.

"And how's the princess doing? Got yourself in some trouble with the Red Queen?" he asks, ruffling her hair.

She swats his hand away. "Why do you and Lea insist on doing that?"

"You're short. Why not?"

"I am not short. Xion is short."

Riku shrugs. By now, Roxas has made his way to the newest arrival to Wonderland. "Hey, Roxas. You surviving ok with this one?"

"Jerk," Kairi huffs and elbows him good-naturedly. Riku laughs (or at least his version of a laugh—a quicker exhale of air through his nose).

Roxas grins and scratches the back of his head (wait, don't do that. Sora does that). "Ah, she's alright. A bit of trouble, but alright."

"Wow thanks." Kairi rolls her eyes then shoots him a smile. "Anyway, come on. Take a look at the damage. See what you can do, Mr. Fix It."

Riku picks up his toolbox and heads over to the Gummi Ship. After assessing the damage, he concludes it won't be too difficult of a repair. He gets started, asking for a tool from Kairi or for her to hold something while he gets it to stay in place.

Roxas awkwardly stands at the sidelines. He feels like he should be doing something, but Riku is the closest person to an expert on Gummi ships they are going to get besides Chip n' Dale themselves. He would let Roxas know if he needs to do something. (...right?)

"Anything I can do?" Roxas asks.

"I've got it. Kairi, can you hand me that?" Riku points to something on her left.

Kairi does so. She looks at Roxas and gives him a shrug.

"When do you think you'll be done?" Roxas asks.

"Give it another hour. Maybe more."

Roxas shoves his hands in his pockets and leans against the front of the ship. Sure, he and Riku aren't really close and neither of them are big chatterboxes, but they can usually hold a conversation. It's surprising how quiet it is. Disregarding himself, Roxas is surprised Riku hasn't struck up a conversation with Kairi. She has certainly tried engaging him.

If something's hanging in the air, Roxas isn't sure what it is. He decides to try a different tactic. "Hey, I'm going to go check the Hatter's house to see if Alice is there. Then we can get the connection done."

"You haven't strengthened the connection yet?" Riku asks, surprised. His eyes pierce Kairi.

Kairi gives him a slight frown. "Red Queen, remember?"

Riku grunts and goes back to repairing the wing.

Roxas takes a few cautious steps in the direction of the woods. "Ok then. I'll be off." With that, the blonde turns and walks into the Wonderland woods.

He's a solid trek into the trees when he hears a shout, not from in front of him but from behind. Not in pain, but anger (Roxas has learned how to distinguish the two). And he knows that angry shout by now. Kairi's. She and Riku must be arguing.

Roxas's steps slow.

He should just keep going and let them have a conversation. Whatever is on Riku's mind must be out in the open now.

Roxas stops.

He shouldn't.

(But he does.)


"I can't believe you!" Kairi stamps her foot.

Riku raises an eyebrow at her childish show of anger. Such a Kairi thing to do. An eighteen year old young lady of royal standing stamping her foot.

"You're not giving him the proper chance," she says.

"Proper—Kairi, what do you think this is? I'm giving him the proper chance, letting him chase after you as you trample carelessly through the worlds."

"You know that's not true. I'm being extremely careful—"

"Extremely careful." Riku slams down his wrench onto the hull of the ship. "Not going off on your own is extremely careful. Not going out after dark is extremely careful. Waiting for me instead of dragging an unprepared Roxas along is extremely careful."

"There it is!" Kairi point her finger at Riku's chest. "That's the whole reason you're mad. Just because I wouldn't wait for you. Well, I've got news for you, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself—"

"You—"

"I'm twice as safe now thanks to Roxas being here. There's nothing to freak out about."

"There's plenty," Riku growls. "You're reckless and you rush into things. Roxas doesn't know you well enough to know how to say no and keep you from doing stupid shit that gets your ship busted and you attacked by Card Soldiers after dark!"

"Why do you hate him so much?" Kairi snaps. Her anger has taken her voice to a dangerously low octave instead of the high shriek from before. "Why don't you like him?"

Riku scoffs. "I like him just fine. It's not personal. He's just not as good of a guard for you as Sora and I are."

"He is too. He's saved my butt a couple times while on this trip."

"Your life needed saving—more than once?!" Riku bites out.

"Not the point," Kairi bites back. "The point is that Roxas is just a good of a guard as you and Sora. Better even!"

"Don't say things you don't mean, Kairi." Riku's voice has dropped as well, to a tone that warns the recipient of what's to come if further provoked.

Kairi's frown deepens. She leans in close enough to Riku's face to annoy him. "He's been great for me. Patient and trustworthy and incredibly understanding. That last point I can't say for you and Sora."

Riku sighs, deflating some of his anger in the process. He takes a step back and places his hands on his hips. "Kairi, we've been trying to understand. You've talked, we've listened, and you're still mad at us. You should have seen Sora's face before he left. He felt awful."

Kairi falters slightly at hearing this. She crosses her arms and bristles. "Excuse me if I was a little mad that you and Sora were going off traipsing across the worlds without bringing me and without telling me where you were going."

"I told you, the king swore us to secrecy. It's a matter of your safety we don't tell you—"

"There you go! About my safety again. You and Sora tried to keep me from going on this trip because of my safety."

"No, we tried to get you to wait."

"No, you don't trust me to go alone."

"Obviously! You said so yourself your life needed saving. More. Than. Once. How am I the bad guy in this?"

"You don't trust me."

"We trust you fine."

"No, you trust that I will be the delicate princess and childhood friend that will always need her boys by her side to save her. Well, I do need you and Sora. I love you guys, I really, really do, but you're not acknowledging the fact that I'm your equal. That I'm growing up. I'm trying not to let that mean growing away."

"Growing away? What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Kairi takes her own deep breath. She pulls her hair back to get it off her sweaty neck. Arguing has raised her body temperature, "that you guys have been pushing me to be the princess of Radiant Garden, to spend a lot of my time there doing some things that I don't always approve of, without you telling me how you two fit in the picture, or anyone else for that matter." Kairi lets go of her hair and rubs her forehead, then her eyes, fighting tears. "So excuse me if I'm worried about being sent away by two of my favorite people without being reassured that I'm going to see them and everyone else on a regular basis. And after all we've been through. Excuse me if I'm hurt. Excuse me if I don't want to be left behind again."

Riku goes quiet. Her point finally finds a landing space in his mind. And in his heart.

"Kairi..."

"Now let's talk about your grudge against Roxas."

"I don't have—"

"You don't like him all that much," Kairi states, not wanting to hear his excuses. "That's ok. You don't have to be best friends with everyone. But you do have to respect him. You haven't been lately."

"I respect him."

"Maybe the bare minimum. You have to do better than that. He deserves better."

Riku's hands turn into fists. He crosses his arms over his chest. "He hasn't been a lot of help in anything."

"What are you talking about? He's been a huge help. He helped us when chaos broke loose. He willingly gave himself up for Sora to live again—"

"After I had to fight him into submission. He wasn't a good guy, Kairi."

"Wasn't. Past tense, Riku."

"And he's a tag-along now. He's a great guy, sure, but he's not much help. He floats around doing whatever we need without really making a real contribution. He has no ambition. He's doesn't even want to become a keyblade master."

"So because he wants to do something else with his life, you think that's grounds to think less of him?"

"It does when he's protecting you and he's not up for the job."

"I told you he saved me—"

"And how long until he slips up? He isn't at me or Sora's skill level and you know it."

"Hey! You are setting a high bar that no one can reach. You're not being fair. You are not accounting for the fact that he is sweet, kind-hearted, strong, and gives loyalty most people would kill to find in their life."

"You have loyalty in your life, you don't need—" Riku pauses. He stares at Kairi with wide eyes. His mouth gapes with no words coming out for a long moment.

"What?" Kairi asks.

"Do you—Do you hear what you're saying?" Riku asks incredulously. "You talk as if you have some sort of connection with him. You can't...you don't think you do, do you?"

Kairi's spine becomes rigid and she snaps up as if a shock went through her. Her cheeks flare red. This time it isn't from irritation. "Why not? Is there a rule against it?"

"Kairi, you can't. You hardly know him. And what about S—"

"Stop! Stop. Riku—you—how's Naminé? Huh?"

Riku stands up straight with the force of her words much like Kairi did.

Kairi forages on. "Remember her? The girl you love? Saying I can't have a connection to Roxas because of Sora is like saying you can't have one with her because of me."

Riku's face droops into a glare. "That's different. I got to know her back when Xion was in the Organization. We're old friends."

"And I'm getting to know Roxas so we can be better friends. Why is that so bad?"

Riku's voice gets small now, so unlike his normal sturdy tone, showing clearly his uncertainty. "Friends. Huh. And what about Sora?"

Kairi takes another deep breath. She wraps her arms around herself, holding her sides like she might fall apart. "Sora and I are not together, Riku. You know that."

"But...he—"

"No."

With that firm word spoken, Riku is out of arguments.

And Roxas is out of the woods.

The two arguing parties startle at his sudden entrance. The look on his face and the fury in his eyes tells them he was listening. He heard most everything.

"Roxas," Kairi says. She takes a step towards him, but Roxas has his sights set on Riku.

Riku crosses his arms and stares down the shorter man, but the expression on Roxas's face could melt metal. His indignant sneer is aimed fully at the man opposite him.

Riku beats him to words. "Save it. Whatever you're going to say about protecting her or valuing her, Sora and I already have you beat. There's nothing you could say to convince me otherwise."

Roxas doesn't speak right away. He's shaking slightly from the amount of fury infecting him. He forces himself to stomach that anger and put it into words instead.

"I think it's a good thing that I didn't grow up with Kairi," he finally says, "because I have an outsider's perspective. I see her potential and know that she can take care of herself. She isn't a 'thing' to protect. She's my friend who has opinions and hopes and fears, and I'm glad I get to spend this time with her and be her backup. She hasn't sent me away yet, so I'm thinking we're on good terms despite what you want. I'd check my thinking if I were you because you've got a few things screwed up."

Roxas now looks to Kairi. She stares back in stunned silence.

"Let's go find Alice," he says. "Maybe give Riku peace and quiet to finish the ship."

Roxas walks into the woods without a backwards glance. Kairi, however, spares one to Riku—one of surprise and apology—as she follows Roxas.


It's a quiet trip to the Mad Hatter's house. Once there, Kairi gives a valiant effort to appear cheerful for Alice. She engages in some of the antics the Hatter, Hare, and Dormouse throw her way. Roxas, however, does no such thing. He leans against one of the trees at the edge of the woods and watches the brightness of the connection shining off the porcelain on the table then sees it fade as the two princesses finish their ceremony.

Kairi keeps glancing Roxas's way even during the dangerous times when the tea party partygoers are tossing things through the air. Try as he might, Roxas cannot force himself to smile, to reassure her he isn't mad—which he is. He's furious. But he's not mad at her. No. A certain silver-haired, know-it-all is on the receiving end of that anger.

Eventually, Kairi says her goodbyes. As she makes her way to Roxas, Alice calls a goodbye to him. Roxas raises his hand and barely manages to lift the corners of his mouth before he allows them to fall back down when he turns and walks into the woods.

The walk back seems to be a mirror of the walk there, silent and tense. Roxas doesn't look over to Kairi, not wanting to see the disappointment on her face. He doesn't want to see the gears in her mind turning, aiding her thoughts to bring her to Riku's conclusion—that he isn't good enough (for her, or anyone, or anything...)

"I'm sorry."

Roxas's brain needs a moment to process the words that have reached his ears. When they do, they slow his feet to a stop. He turns to look at Kairi who is half a step behind him. She is looking directly at him but with an expression saying it is a difficult task.

Even though Roxas's brain knows the words and who said them, he still cannot grasp their meaning. "...you're—"

"I'm sorry," Kairi says again. Her voice is strained. Maybe all the shouting from earlier has taken its toll. "We shouldn't have talked about you behind your back. I was only trying to get Riku to understand that you're doing amazing at protecting me and not smothering me. You..." Kairi swallows thickly. She rubs at her forehead. (Roxas has noticed that she does this when unsure or irritated.)

Roxas sighs. The anger simmers in his stomach yet, but Kairi's words diminish it. It's easier to be less mad when the source of the anger isn't present. "I'm not mad at you, Kairi."

Kairi bites her lower lip. Worry crinkles her forehead. "You're mad at Riku then."

"Well...yeah."

"Good," Kairi says. Roxas raises an eyebrow at this. "I am too. Riku had no right to say those things about you. He was completely off-base and totally wrong. He shouldn't have—"

"He's not wrong."

Kairi's mouth is half open, forming the next word that is never to come. She stares at him with wide eyes full of surprise which quickly changes into confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Roxas runs a hand through his hair then stuffs both his hands in his pockets. His eyes dart between Kairi and the surrounding trees. It's too late now. The words are out of his mouth. He has to speak what's on his mind.

"He's not wrong about some things. I...don't have any ambition. I don't want to be a keyblade master. I don't know what I'm going to do in the future. I basically do what I'm told now, what other people want of me, not what I want because I don't know what I want. I've been following orders all my life. I'm not a bad guy because of it," Roxas feels the need to point out, "but I'm not, like, a hero or anything. I guess that's grounds for being...less...I'm just not..."

Roxas's words trail off. He ducks his head and shrugs his shoulders, creating a defensive position as he waits. He waits for Kairi's words. To tell him yeah, he's less. He's a good person like she said—but less. (There rational part of his brain hiding beneath the anger and hurt tells him she would never say such a thing, but he's not listening to that voice right now.)

Kairi's sudden appearance in front of him is unexpected (though certainly not unwelcome). Roxas feels a warmth in his heart. He looks down to see her hand pressed overtop where it is beating within his chest. (It had been a slow, melancholy beat but now picked up since catching a whiff of Kairi's flowery smell.)

"It's like I can feel it breaking," Kairi says. "Broken and unsure. That's what your heart is." Kairi glances up and catches his eye. "But it's sturdy and full of light. You know what that means?"

Roxas's lack of answer is mainly attributed to seriously not knowing the answer. "That means you are on the same level as anyone else in any of the worlds. Ever. A heart is a precious thing and no heart is less or greater than another."

Roxas can't help it. He has to get in the jab. "Says the pure Princess of Heart."

Kairi makes a face. If it was a more lighthearted moment, he would have laughed at her scrunched nose and pinched mouth. "I am not more important than you. Riku is not better than you. Sora is not more significant than you. You are not his lesser half. You are not less of anyone or anything. Roxas, are you hearing me? Are you listening?"

He can't be mad when she's this close, but he wants to keep his anger. It's a fuel of energy he remembers from his days in the Organization. They taught it as a great motivator for when something must be done. Which is why Roxas takes a step back. (He misses her warm hand on his chest, a better warmth than the heat of anger, but he can't say that right now. He's supposed to be angry.)

"I hear you just fine. It doesn't mean I agree."

"Well then you're wrong," Kairi says resolutely. "Are you going to decide to be wrong the rest of your life then? To wallow in self-pity because you think you're nothing special while others see you as incredible—"

"Ha. Incredible. Riku does not see me—"

"I do, you dolt!" Kairi snaps at him. "I think you're incredible. Didn't you hear me earlier?"

He did. He remembers his face going warm and his insides flopping around when he heard Kairi coming to his defense. He remembers that buoyant feeling fighting with the lower-than-dirt mindset Riku's words were dragging him into.

Roxas averts his eyes from Kairi now. He can feel his cheeks go warm again. "Yes, I did."

Kairi exhales slowly, no doubt to regain some calm. "Didn't you believe me? Don't listen to Riku. He's always had issues with jumping to the worst conclusions. It's who he is. He's always a little blinded to what's in front of him. And what's there is you going above and beyond the lines of friendship to just—Roxas...you have been so good to me. You have no idea how much you've helped me during this trip. And I keep getting to know you through it. Let me tell you, not one ounce of what you've showed me about you has disappointed me or made me think you were less. You are not less, and I promise you, you never will be. Please believe me."

That is a fascinating piece of grass right there about two feet from Roxas's shoe. Truly something. That's why Roxas can't stop staring at it (not because his face is the color of the Queen of Hearts's dress and certainly not because he thinks if he looks at Kairi he won't be able to contain himself and grab her up like a lunatic).

Roxas lets out something like a laugh (sounds too strangled for a laugh). He runs one hand through his hair then scratches the back of his neck before tugging at his ear then coming down to tap his thigh with his fingertips. (Why can't he stop fidgeting?)

"Do you believe me?" Kairi asks. The mild tone she uses sounds pleading. It makes Roxas finally look her way again.

(She's beautiful. She really is. Inside and out. Of all the girls to fall for, he knows he fell for the best one.)

He seriously considers her question. Part of him vehemently holds onto the idea Riku planted in his mind because having one of his biggest insecurities shoved in his face certainly knocked him down which makes him feel the need to viciously fight back.

The other, now louder, part of him that increased with Kairi's words, believes her. Because when it comes down to it, he knows he isn't worthless. Even Sora, his accidental brother who seems to outshine him in every way, has told him as much. And despite feeling less, Roxas feels like Sora's equal when they work together.

(And sometimes, when Kairi looks at him that way he is still trying to figure out, he feels more.)

Roxas nods. "Yeah. I—I believe you. I guess...it's just hard hearing your personal fears spoken out loud by someone else, you know? I had done a pretty good job of shoving them away until I heard them again today."

The relief on Kairi's face is almost overwhelming. "Believe me, I know. Remember last night? My meltdown?"

"It wasn't a meltdown," Roxas says encouragingly.

"It was a meltdown. I was a wreck. Lucky for me you were there in all your incredibleness."

Roxas rolls his eyes but can't help laughing. "Yeah, ok. Sure. By the way, you have to stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault. You didn't have to apologize for defending me. YOu didn't do anything wrong."

Kairi's grin sends warm relief through Roxas's stomach. "What can I say? I'm a peacekeeper. Must be the princess blood in me."

"Nah. It's a Kairi thing."

Kairi laughs. (Ah, there's the princess smile. A breath of fresh air.) Roxas feels an urge again. An urge to have her close. He extends his elbow and turns slightly in the direction of the Gummi ship. "Shall we?" he asks.

Kairi takes his arm. "We shall," she says with a stance that says she is proud to be by his side. It makes him bubble with pride. The pride changes into glee when Kairi holds his arm tight and rests her head on his shoulder for a short while.

It's only a moment, but in that moment, Roxas sees a flash of purple in the trees. He looks up to see a familiar grin on a familiar feline face.

The Cheshire Cat stares down at him. The magical creature giggles, turns onto its back, and curves its tail in such a way for it to form a heart.

Roxas knows Kairi's head is still down on his shoulder so she isn't seeing this display (and he isn't sure if he wants her to). It's a delicate balance they have. A solid friendship, but a fine line of flirting. He isn't ready to breech the line just yet. Not now at least, not right after she's fought with Riku and then himself. And he certainly doesn't feel emotionally stable enough to take possible rejection.

No, he can wait. And that's ok.

(It's ok because for now it is enough to know that she thinks him incredible.)


Riku is already packed by the time Roxas and Kairi reach the Gummi Ship. His eyes flash to where the duo's arms are linked. Kairi lets go, not because of Riku's pointed look but because she rushes to him. Riku catches her in a hug. It's similarly executed to the one they had when he first arrived but entirely different because the air between them is strained, though not hopeless.

"Kairi," Riku says, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you earlier. I was worried."

Kairi gives him a wry smile. "You're always worried. You're such a brother."

Riku answers her smile with a smirk. "Maybe I am. But anything to keep my sister safe." Kairi reaches up and musses his hair. Riku chuckles at the irony. "I deserved that."

"Yes you did, but that's ok," Kairi says lightly. "Thanks for fixing the Gummi ship."

"Thanks for being safe."

Roxas feels as well as sees their eyes fall on him. He approaches Riku. They stand there a minute staring at each other, two unyielding wills at ends.

In that moment, Roxas sees the blindfolded young man in the rain so full of pain and at odds with the darkness still within him. He sees the storm clouds becoming the backdrop to their epic encounter threatening blood and vengeance. He remembers the sting of loss and overpowering rage rushing through his veins. He remembers glaring at Riku with hatred he didn't know he possessed. He remembers wanting Riku's death upon being called Sora, one of many times that always leave him feeling low, defensive, and hurt. (Even the joking comparisons among friends today leave a bitter taste in his mouth.)

Yes, some of Riku's fears are justified. Even Roxas has trouble shaking the image of Riku as the enemy. Their past still lingers, but even if it shapes the future, it can't control it.

Roxas holds out his hand.

The surprise Riku shows is extremely subtle, but Roxas picks up on it nonetheless. He grins when Riku grasps the offered hand.

"I promise to take care of her to the best of my abilities," Roxas says.

"I don't doubt it. Not anymore," Riku says. "Friends?"

Roxas nods. "Friends." Because that's how forgiveness works, not with torrents of words but with knowing looks and a basic understanding of the other person's point of view. Roxas hopes Riku sees his like he sees Riku's.

The two release their grip. Kairi comes to stand beside Roxas. Riku looks at the two of them for one long moment before grunting once and turning to leave. Once he hops in his Gummi ship, he waves at the couple on the ground waving goodbye to him. Then with the growl of the engine and a whirl of wind, the ship is gone.

Roxas and Kairi stand there staring at the sky where their friend departed. Then they glance at one another with small smiles on their faces without consciously meaning to do so.

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to visit Cinderella now," Kairi says.

"Same. I'm fed up with the madness of Wonderland."

As they head for their newly repaired Gummi Ship, Roxas thinks back on his words. Mad. Yes, everyone is mad in Wonderland. Not angry-mad but crazy-mad. Yet the anger exists in this world too.

One self-indulging look at Kairi and the rest of Roxas's anger evaporates.


A/N: This chapter was a chore. I hated writing the majority of it. It was a lot of angsty sludge to get through. Now it's done. Huzzah! I'm looking forward to writing the next chapter (hintfluff—hint). Hopefully that will go faster than the others. Still, I hope you enjoy the angst. It's nice to have a good dose of it every now and then.

Also THANK YOU PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED. You have my appreciation, thanks, and happy-giggly squeals whenever I see said reviews.

(P.S. Did anyone else see the latest KHIII trailer? I DID AND I AM PUMPED.)