Chapter Four

The next morning came sooner than Leah had hoped. Madame Giry woke them at their normal time, poking and prodding until they were all out of bed. They would not start practicing for the next play, La Belle et le Bête, for another week or so. Madame Giry had them practicing their dance positions and voice exercises until they had specific moves and songs to learn.

Leah avoided Victor and Carlotta as much as possible, and since the chorus girls did not have much to do with the main Soprano or the Tenor, it was easy to do. She saw Victor trying to approach her a time or two, but she was able to walk away as if she did not see him. Carlotta did nothing but glare menacingly. That Leah was used to. It was when she saw a malicious grin cross her face that made her nervous.

One morning, four days after the gala, Carlotta advanced on Leah as she was about to head for lunch. "Come here chorus girl," she said, and stalked away. Leah followed her hesitantly off to the side of the room.

"Here," she said and handed Leah an opened and battered envelope. "I recognized the writing on the front and thought it was for me."

Leah looked at the front. "But it has my name on it!" She said angrily.

"Yes, well," Carlotta sneered. "You have it now right?" She laughed and walked away.

Leah clamped down on her anger, knowing that yelling anything at the Prima Donna would do nothing but cause problems. She waited until she calmed down before looking at the envelope in her hand. It had only her name on the front and a return address on the back, for an apartment further in the city. She did not recognize it, but continued to re-open the envelope and pulled out a thick card. It was a white formal invitation card. She flipped it open and read:

'Mademoiselle Bourdeaux, it would give me great pleasure if you would accompany me to the upcoming gala. If you accept, please return this card to me in person. Jim'

"Oh my," Leah whispered. No wonder Jim had asked her about mail! The poor man, he probably thought she had declined and not bothered to tell him. "Carlotta you stupid cow," Leah muttered. She rubbed the thick envelope between her fingers. Frowning slightly, she put down the card and took the envelope in both hands. The paper was thick, but the front half was thicker than the back. Pursing her lips, she felt around, but could not feel an opening.

Leah ripped along on side of the envelope and found a thin piece of paper folded up between the layers of envelope. The small square had been sealed with wax, and, thankfully, the seal was unbroken. Leah looked around, and seeing nobody, she quickly ran to the dormitory.

There was nobody in the long room and Leah hurried to her bed and sat on the floor next to it, leaning her back on her mattress. She put down the card and abused envelope and turned the sealed paper over in her hands. She broke the wax with her letter opener and unfolded it, seeing that it was a letter.

"Leah," it read. "I apologize that I could not say this in person, but some things are easier to write down. I find myself able to concentrate better when pouring my soul onto paper. It is easy to get distracted when confronted with the beauty of your presence. I find myself getting flustered now though you are far away and most likely asleep as I write this.

But I ramble. What I am trying to say is that on the first day you walked through the doors of the opera, you drew my attention. Your innocence, your grace and your shy hesitation as you joined the others in the chorus intrigued me. I kept an eye on you since that first day, wondering if you would turn out like the rest, loud and bothersome, traveling in packs and giggling at every small thing. But I have seen that you have not become like them, you are still the sweet girl I saw that first day.

I care greatly for you Leah, and I am sorry this comes as such a shock, but I cannot hide how I feel about you any longer. If you do not feel the same, I will understand and leave you be. If you do, however, I would welcome you any time you wish to speak.

Yours,

Jim"

Leah set the letter down on her lap. "Oh," she said weakly into the empty room. Her mind spun and she could not sort out her thoughts. She folded the letter and slipped it inside the card and put everything under her mattress. She had no idea what to do. This unfamiliar man had basically confessed his love for her, and she did not know what to think.

Leah pulled herself onto her bed and rubbed her forehead with her fingertips. Her mind raced in circles, mixing up her feelings. She felt attraction for him, from the gala and a bit of curiosity, he was unknown to her and mysterious. She was not sure what else and decided to wait before she did or said anything. Carlotta had kept her letter for this long, Leah would pretend that she still had not received it.

The dormitory door opened startling the dancer, and she spun around.

"Leah! There you are," Angie called. "I have been looking for you! You missed lunch and it is almost time for practice."

"Oh, sorry Angie," Leah said softly. "I…I was not hungry today."

Angie walked over to her and sat down. "Leah, are you all right?"

"Yes, I am fine," Leah smiled, trying to convince her friend. "We should hurry or Madame Giry will make us do more work tonight."

Angie stared at her for a moment, as if trying to see into her mind, but shrugged it off and they left for the practice room.


The next few days passed by quickly, and Leah found no answers for her questions. They spent most of the day in the same two rooms, practicing, or in the kitchens eating, and she barely got a glimpse of Jim, much less time to speak with him. After dinner however, Leah took to wandering the opera house when they had no other duties. She would find out where the majority of the stagehands were working and sit somewhere hidden to them, watching Jim and trying to figure him out. She saw him as two different people, the man who danced with her and wrote her a secret letter, and the stagehand working hard with the others, joking around and talking about nothing. He never saw her, she hoped, but all the watching in the world was not going to help her. She still did not know what to do.

They started production on La Belle et la Bête, and Leah found out that she was going to be playing one of Belle's sisters along with the chorus pieces. Leah was excited, she would actually have a singing part this time, apart from the chorus. It didn't matter that Belle's sisters were rude and greedy, nothing like the parts Leah wanted to play, she finally had an actual role in a play. Perhaps Madame Giry was right, she thought when she heard the news, maybe she was actually on her way out of the chorus.

La Belle et la Bête was a play, not like the previous opera they performed. This play had speaking lines as well as singing. There were only two ballet pieces, one for the chorus and a duet between Belle and the Beast.

The girls were stretching one morning, getting ready to learn their ballet, when Carlotta's shrill voice caught Leah's attention. Carlotta was not far away from the dancers, lounging on one of the audience seats.

"Jim darling," she was calling out. "Come here for a moment please."

Leah bit down on a laugh; she had never before heard Carlotta utter the word please. The she realized who the Soprano had called darling and frowned a bit. From the corner of her eye she watched Jim sigh and walk over to Carlotta, wiping his hands on a handkerchief as he went. Before he reached her, Jim glanced up to the stage at Leah. She quickly turned her head and pretended she was not listening.

"Jim," she heard Carlotta purr, "I think there is something wrong with my closet door in my room. It will not shut all the way. Perhaps you can come up to my dressing room after dinner and take a look at it?"

Leah cautiously looked over again. Carlotta had stood up and stepped closer to the stagehand and was trailing her finger down his chest. An obscure feeling rose in her chest and she felt short of breath. She stood up quickly, feeling anger simmering to the surface. She closed her eyes for a moment, breathing deeply, trying to control this new, strange feeling inside her. She glanced over to see Carlotta leaning very close to Jim, saying something in his ear and looking very pleased. Leah bit her lip and looked away, not wanting to see any more. Before she could react to the emotions building inside her, she decided to leave. She could not afford to embarrass herself at a time like this.

Leah walked over to Madame Giry and said quietly; "Madame, I am not feeling well at all. Do you think I could go and lie down for a time?"

Madame Giry looked at her tight, pale face and nodded. "Of course child, go on. You can make it up tomorrow."

Leah nodded in thanks and practically ran off the stage.

Carlotta watched Leah flee and smirked. She looked back to the handsome stagehand. "So? What do you say?"


Leah had run all the way up to the roof. She sat on a ledge next to the door, and looked out onto the city below. She had finally identified the feeling that had almost blinded her. It was jealousy. Carlotta had run her hand down Jim's chest and he had not moved. Just the thought of her touching him infuriated Leah. Jealousy turned to confusion quickly, as she had no idea why she should even be jealous in the first place.

She got up and started pacing, ranting at herself. "You do not even know how you feel for him," she told herself. "It is your fault you didn't go and speak to him. You knew that Carlotta fancied him, and you know that she thinks she owns this theatre. She does whatever she wants and neither you nor he can stop her when she wants something."

Leah continued to pace, now without words. She was still very confused, and yelling at herself was not helping. She sat down on the ledge again and closed her eyes, leaning against the cold stone.

Leah stayed up there for the rest of the day, letting the wind play with her hair as she fought to unravel the disorder that was in her mind.


He ached to reach out to her, to relieve her of her grief. He did not know why she was sad, why she escaped up to the roof, where he was. He hid behind one of the many statues and watched her pace, watched her wrap herself in her thoughts and shut out the world. He understood. The world had shut him out long ago and he wished he could speak to her, tell her that everything was going to be all right. But now was not the time, he wanted to do this properly. His love for her almost overpowered him, but he clamped his mouth shut and faded away. He could not reveal himself yet.


Leah blinked and looked around. "Hello?" She called, uncertain. She could have sworn she heard somebody there. She shook her head, noticing that the light had faded as the day grew late. She uncurled from the ledge, wincing at her sore muscles, and retreated inside. The dormitories were empty, and Leah snuck inside gratefully. She was not in the mood to talk with anyone and lay down on her bed, pulling her blanket up to her chin.

Leah woke suddenly when the door opened and the girls poured in. She blinked her eyes, not realizing that she had fallen asleep. She looked out the window and judging by how dark it was outside, she had slept for about an hour.

She felt weight settle on her bed near her knees and looked down. Angie looked into her face intently. "How are you feeling?" She asked gently.

"I am all right," Leah sighed. "Was Madame angry?"

"No," Angie shook her head. "More worried than anything. She said you did not look well."

"Mm," Leah mumbled.

"Is something going on Leah? You can talk to me you know," Angie patted her leg.

"It is nothing I cannot handle Angie," Leah said. "But thank you anyways."

Angie sighed, but did not press. Leah closed her eyes and heard Angie move towards her own bed, exchange her clothing for a nightgown and climb in.

Leah rolled over and tried to will herself back to sleep.

But sleep did not come.