Chapter Five
Leah tossed and turned for hours. It seemed that once she was awake, her mind refused to quiet. Incoherent thoughts raced through her mind, and she kept remembering what happened in the auditorium, unwillingly. After the fifth time seeing Carlotta run her finger down Jim's chest, Leah sat up. She made a hasty decision and got out of bed, looking for her clothes. She was pulling on her boots when she heard Angie stir, and cursed silently.
"L-leah?" She said, still half asleep. "Where are you going?"
"There is just something I have to do. Will you cover for me?" Leah finished tying her laces and stood.
"Will you tell me what is going on?"
"Tomorrow, I will tell you what is happening for sure."
"Then of course. If anybody asks, I will say that you have gone to the kitchens or the bathing room." Angie yawned and rolled over. "When will you be back?"
"I don't know." Leah pulled her dark cloak over her shoulders. She silently made her way to the door and slipped out.
It was raining harder outside, and Leah was soaked five minutes after she left. She started to run, heading for the address on the envelope. It was rather far away and Leah wanted to get there before it got too late. Leah almost stopped in place. She did not even know what time it was. She kept going, thinking it was too late to turn back.
Leah's heart pounded in her chest. Paris at night was more than a little frightening, especially if you were a young girl, alone, and not used to being outside. The rain was everywhere and Leah was soaked to the bone. But she did not stop running, only pausing now and then to check street signs.
After making a few wrong turns and running away from a suspicious looking drunk man, she finally reached her destination, a small apartment above a merchant's spice shop. She climbed the stairs, her legs shaking with exhaustion. Leah stood under the small awning in front of the door, relieved to be out of the rain. She hesitated, not knowing if what she was doing was right, or just plain stupid.
But she did not come all this way for nothing. She knocked on the door. After a moment's panicky thinking that nobody was home, the door opened.
Jim looked down at her. They stood there staring at each other for what seemed like forever. Incoherent thoughts ran through Leah's mind, all awareness had dimmed until there was nothing but the two of them staring intently into each other's eyes. Leah felt worry starting to rise but finally he smiled softly.
"Hi," he said quietly.
"Hi," she said back, her voice trembling.
Jim opened the door further and took a step back, allowing Leah inside. She stepped through the door gratefully, and looked around. His home was small, but it was cozy. There were three rooms, a small kitchen, a bathing chamber and one big open room that was everything else. There was a bed in the far corner and a big couch on the same wall, in the other corner with a table and armchair across from it. A kitchen table and some chairs were near the entrance to the kitchen. A couple bookshelves lined the walls, and a desk covered in papers and writing pads. The only lights were from candles on the desk and low table and a small lantern in the kitchen. A chimney probably from a fireplace in the shop downstairs was set into one wall, near the bed, effectively heating the apartment.
The heat seeped into her, and she started to shiver. Jim frowned and took her cloak away from her, hanging it near the chimney. "You are completely soaked," he said and she trembled in reply. Her cloak might have been wet, but it still kept her a bit warmer than she was now.
Jim walked towards his bed and rummaged through a low trunk at the end of it. He came back to her, holding a bundle of clothing in his hands. "Here," he said, handing it to her. "Please go and change before you get sick."
Leah headed towards the bathing room and closed the door behind her. She stood there in the small room, trying to control her shivers and wondered exactly what she was doing there. Peeling off her soggy clothing with disgust, she dropped everything onto the floor and picked up the bundle Jim had given her. The pants were thin cotton and too big, but she tied the flat cord around the waist as tight as she could and hoped it would be enough. The buttoned shirt was also far too big, but it was in no danger of falling off. Leah wringed out her long hair, having lost her hair tie quite some time ago. She did not see a brush or comb in the dim light of the small room so she simply pushed it over her shoulders and forgot about it.
She hesitated before opening the door, feeling more awkward than she did before. She took a deep breath and opened the door, almost tripping on the long pants. Jim chuckled a bit as she clung to her waistline. "I am sorry, I have nothing smaller," he said.
"I am grateful enough for dry clothes," she replied softly. "Size does not matter at the moment."
He was sitting at his desk, pen in hand when she had come into the room, but he put it down and leaned back into his chair. Leah stood near the kitchen table, keeping a bit of distance between them. The heat of the room enveloped her, taking away her chill. She felt her fatigue rising though as her body became more comfortable. She hoped she was able to make it back to the Opera okay.
"What time is it?" She asked out of nowhere.
"Near midnight," he said.
"Oh no," she felt like kicking herself. "Did I wake you?"
He shook his head. "I was working on some things," he motioned towards the paperwork in front of him.
"I got your letter," she said in a rush, as if saying it quicker helped.
He nodded slowly, looking away and she continued. "Carlotta had it for a long time."
He looked up sharply at that. "Did she read it?"
"The card yes, the letter no. The wax was still sealed and the envelope intact." Leah's head began to spin and she unwillingly swayed on her feet.
Like lightning, Jim was up and caught her in his arms before she even had the chance to fall. Leah blinked hard, trying to keep hold of consciousness. "I-I'm sorry. I must be more tired than I had thought." She was painfully aware of Jim's arms around her and how strong his chest felt under her hands. His clothing felt too thin on her body and she was not comfortable at how revealing they were, as large as they may be. Leah pushed slightly on his chest, but his grip was solid and did not allow her to move.
He looked into her face and narrowed his eyes. "When was the last time you ate anything?"
Leah thought for a moment. "This morning," she told him tentatively.
Jim cursed. "You ballerinas," he said, shaking his head. "You eat barely enough to keep you alive and you work it all off and more. I am surprised that dancers live to see old age." He boldly picked her up and carried her over to his bed.
"Wait," she said. "I have to go back to the House," she protested weakly.
"You are in no state to go anywhere tonight. You can sleep here and I will take you back early tomorrow morning. Nobody will notice you were gone. I will not have you getting into trouble over me." He set her down and pulled a thick blanket over her.
"Why?" She asked him. "Why do you care for me so much?"
He smiled and smoothed back a bit of her damp hair. "Not now," he said. "We will speak later."
"I would have gone with you," she said, half asleep.
"What was that?" He asked her.
"The gala. If I had gotten your card earlier. I would have gone with you," she said.
His smile softened. "There will be more, have no fear. Now sleep."
As her eyes drifted shut, she vaguely remembered him looking down at her for a moment before going back to his desk and sitting back down.
Leah woke early the next morning. As her mind drifted into awareness, she froze, feeling a different bed under her. She opened her eyes and the night came flooding back to her. Holding the blanket to her chest, she sat up, looking around.
She did not see Jim anywhere, but heard movement in the kitchen area. There was a pillow and blanket on the couch where he had slept and Leah felt guilty, she had robbed him of his own bed.
The heat from the chimney was comforting and Leah almost wanted to fall back asleep. But now that she was awake, her confusion and awkwardness returned. She saw that all of her clothing was hanging on the chimney, and from where she was, it looked dry.
Quietly, she got out of bed (Jim's bed) and tip-toed over to the brick chimney. She gathered her uniform under her arm, wanting to get dressed before Jim knew she was up.
"Awake already are we?" Came his voice from the other end of the room and Leah looked up, feeling like she had been caught. He grinned at her expression. "If you would like to get dressed, I will have breakfast made for when you are ready."
He turned around and Leah hurried into the bathing room. Her outfit felt a bit stiff compared to what she was wearing, put she pulled it on gratefully. She folded his clothing, not sure of what to do with it, and left the room.
Jim was setting full plates on the table when she entered the room. She set his clothing on top of the trunk when he disappeared back into the kitchen. He came back, holding two steaming mugs. "Here, come and have something to eat," he said.
"Thank you," she told him, sitting down across from him and looked at her plate. There was as much food on it as she usually ate for breakfast and lunch combined. She looked back up at Jim, who said; "You better eat all of that, you do not eat enough as it is."
"Dancers cannot eat a lot," Leah protested. "If they do they get bad stomach cramps and cannot practice properly."
Jim continued to stare at her. After a moment she backed down, "Fine," she said. "But if Madame becomes angry at me because I cannot dance, then I will be sure to tell her who made me eat."
They ate without speaking, Leah not sure of what to say, and Jim seeming to not mind the silence. Leah forced down her food, as she had stopped being hungry after one egg and some of her bread and honey. But every time she would pause, Jim would give her a look, and Leah would pick up her fork again.
Leah sipped at her tea, feeling like she would not have to eat again for a few days. She got up and took their empty plates into the kitchen.
"Please do not worry about cleaning them," Jim called from the table. "I have to get you back to the Opera."
They left his apartment and it was still dark outside. Leah guessed it was very early in the morning. Jim saddled up his horse and walked the gelding over to the dancer. "I only have one horse and no carriage," he told her apologetically. "I hope you do not mind riding with me."
Leah shook her head. "I have not ridden for quite some time though," she warned. "You may just have to pick me up off the ground occasionally."
Jim laughed. "I can assure you, my lady, that it will not happen." He mounted and walked his horse over to her. He reached down and picked her up as if she weighed nothing and placed her in front of him.
Leah blushed, nervous at how close they were, and glad she was in front of him so he could not see her face. Once she was settled Jim signalled to the horse and they were off. Leah was tossed back and collided with Jim's chest. He tightened his arm around her waist, keeping her balanced.
Leah's heart beat frantically in her chest. Jim's well-formed chest was pressed against her back and his hand was holding her waist with a bit too much familiarity for her liking. She fought to wipe the heat from her face, but her blush remained. Leah did not fall off the horse, but she had slipped a few times, each time Jim shifted his grip, holding her closer to himself. She had felt her attraction for him strongly since she had woken up that morning, and it only added to her distress.
The trip was over quickly and Leah was not entirely sure whether that was a good or bad thing. Jim slid off the horse and helped Leah down, keeping her hand in his for a moment longer than necessary. He smiled at her, turned and climbed back on the gelding.
"Will we be able to speak later?" Leah asked him.
"Of course," he said. "I will be back later on, the managers wish me to do some running around for them this morning."
"Okay," she said, not sure of what else to say. He looked at her for a moment longer before turning and galloping away.
Leah ran upstairs to the dormitories as quick as she could. The girls would still be asleep, and hopefully nobody would wake up until she was back in her bed.
The inside of the room was dark and Leah slowly made her way over to her bed. Everybody was there and no one was awake yet. Leah quietly exchanged her clothing for a nightgown and slipped beneath her covers, succumbing to sleep once more.
She woke what felt like fifteen minutes later, to Angie shaking her. "Leah?" Her friend asked softly. "Leah, when did you get back?"
Leah sat up, rubbing her eyes. The other girls were still asleep and she looked at the clock on the wall. She sighed. "Fifteen minutes ago," she whispered.
"What? Leah where were you all night?" Angie sat back down on her bed and faced her friend.
Leah looked at her friend for a moment. "Some time ago, I received a letter. From Jim."
"Really? What did it say?" She asked quietly, but her eyes were excited.
Leah hesitated, not wanting to reveal all of Jim's words to her. "It is hard to explain," she said, stalling.
"Well, was it asking you something, was it friendly or romantic in general?" Angie pried.
"A bit of all three," Leah admitted. "He had also invited me to the gala."
"Then why did you not go with him!" Angie exclaimed.
Leah shook her head, frustrated. "I did not get it until after the ball. Carlotta had it until then." She went on to explain how the letter was hidden and thankfully the Soprano did not see it.
"Oh Leah," Angie said. "Do you think the roses were from Jim?"
"I am sure they were, though he did not mention them." Leah leaned back against her pillow.
"So?" Angie asked. "What are you going to do?"
Leah shrugged, truly exasperated now. "I don't know! I went to his apartment last night to talk to him, but I did not get any answers!"
"Leah!" Angie exclaimed, shocked.
"No! It was nothing like that. I practically fainted on his door step. I had barely eaten yesterday, and I was tired from the run and soaked from the rain. He slept on the couch!" She practically shouted, seeing the look on her friend's face. "But I am still as confused as I was yesterday. All I know is that he cares for me, but I do not know why, or what he expects me to do about it! I do not know anything!"
"Do you care for him?" Angie asked. "If you do, then the whys and hows should not matter."
"But I don't know if I do or not. He is charming and very handsome, but I do not know him. I do not know where he is from, what his parents do, I don't even know his last name!"
Angie switched beds and sat next to Leah. "Then get to know him," she said surprisingly gentle. "Do not look for reasons, just spend some time with him."
Leah rested her head against her friend's shoulder. "But you are the one who wanted me to look for peoples' reasons before, to find out why Victor asked me to the gala."
"No," Angie said. "I only told you to find the reasons behind Victor's actions. I have never fully trusted that man, and as you can see, I was right. But Jim is different," she sighed.
"Different how?"
"I have seen the way he looks at you Leah. If Victor had looked at you that way, I would not have questioned his reasons." Angie looked away and sighed. "We had better get cleaned up and dressed before everyone else wakes up and hogs the bathing room." Angie stood. "Trust me Leah, just get to know him, and things will fall into place."
Production began for the new play, and the frantic rush to get the backgrounds painted and props built started as they always did. Costumes were assigned by the directors, some to be altered and fixed, some to be made new. Either purely by accident, or on Carlotta's orders, Leah was assigned to make the Prima Donna's costume, Belle's beautiful golden wedding gown.
Leah had followed Angie's urgings, and began spending small bits of time with the handsome stagehand. Once a day, if they could find time, they would find somewhere to sit and talk, or if they were busy, tried to speak while they were both working on something. Leah still did not know the answers to her many questions, but she was hesitant to ask such blunt things, and Jim did not offer any information. But they started to get to know each other better and Leah did not feel nearly as uncomfortable around him as before. They did not see each other outside of the Opera House since that one night, but Leah was fine with that. Things were going slowly, carefully. Leah did not like to be rushed.
She was sitting on the edge of the stage one afternoon, sewing. She had learned her lines and moves quickly, and was sitting on the side while Madame Giry explained things in more detail to the slower ones.
Leah leaned against the wall, singing to herself and placed her stitches carefully. The gold satin and sheer were expensive, along with the delicate thread and embroidery beads. Carlotta and the managers threatened her on a regular basis, telling her the gown was worth more than her life and she had better not ruin it.
"Making your costume?"
Leah glanced up and smiled, Jim was leaning against the stage looking up at her.
"I wish," she said. "This is Carlotta's. Mine is much less elaborate." She shook it out to show him. It was almost done, she had just finished sewing the last sleeve. All she had left was the embroidery to sew and the beads to place. Though there was a lot of it and would take her quite some more time.
"It is beautiful," he said, carefully feeling the smooth satin.
"Isn't it though?" She sighed and leaned closer to him to whisper, "I only wish it would be me wearing this instead of her."
He grinned. "It would suit you much better," he added conspiratorially and she smiled at him.
"So what do the managers have you up to now?" She asked him, starting to string the golden embroidery thread through her needle.
"Nothing at the moment. Remember this moment Leah. There is nothing in the entire Opera House that needs to be fixed. It is a miracle."
She laughed and he toyed with a bit of her hair. "You should leave your hair down like this more often," he told her softly. "Pulling it back into the harsh dancer's bun does not suit you as well."
Leah had gotten used to these moments of gentle affection from him. They had made her feel terribly awkward at first, but after time she realized that this was simply who he was. "I did not have to dance today," she told him. "If I did, it would have been up. If I left my hair down while I danced, I would be black and blue from falling all the time. Just imagine what my hair would do when I spun," she laughed.
He grinned. "I suppose that is true."
Leah began sewing along the collar, a tiny pattern that would sparkle in the light. Jim crossed his arms, content to watch her fingers dance. They remained in silence, not needing words.
"Chorus girl!"
Leah sat up, stabbing her finger in the process. She stuck her finger in her mouth before it bled onto the costly fabric. She pushed the gown gently to the side as Carlotta stormed over. Leah looked quickly over to Jim, who did nothing but keep his face neutral.
Carlotta glared down at the two of them. "Is my dress ready yet?" She snapped.
"No Madame," Leah said quietly, looking down.
"You will have it done by tomorrow," she stated.
"I am sorry Madame, but the embroidery and beading will take some time to finish."
"Well perhaps if you spent more time sewing and less chatting, you would be able to get it done." She turned her eyes to Jim for a moment and glared back at the dancer.
Jim stood up straight, keeping his arms crossed. "Did your closet get fixed Madame?" He asked coolly.
"Yes," she said. "It took Robèrt an hour, but he fixed it." Carlotta turned her glare on him. She took a step away from them and turned back. "Oh, Jim. I thought you should know that I overheard the chorus girl here telling her little friends about how much she hates you and wishes you would just leave her alone."
"Oh really?" Jim said, leaning back against the stage. "Then why does she sometimes spend the night with me?"
Carlotta opened her mouth but no sound came out. After a moment she stalked off in a huff. Once she was gone from the room, Leah turned and smacked Jim on the arm.
"That was only one night!" She exclaimed. "And you slept on the couch!"
"Yes," he said. "But Carlotta does not know that now does she?"
Leah shook her head. "And what happened with Robèrt?"
Jim chuckled. "I sent Robèrt in my place to fix Carlotta's problem."
Leah laughed. Robèrt was sixty years old, fat, with squinty eyes and a rather odd smell. Leah could just picture Carlotta trying to get rid of him while he slowly worked on the closet door. She checked her finger, making sure it was not going to bleed all over the place, and went back to her stitching.
"Oy! Jim!" A young man called to him. "We have new work to do!"
Jim nodded to him. "Back to work I go," he said to Leah.
"I will see you later," she said and he left, following the younger stagehand. She watched him go. Once he was gone she shook her head as if to clear it and looked up. Not too far away she saw Angie smiling knowingly at her.
