Commitaphobia

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Harry Potter, and I own nothing.

Summary: Hermione breaks up with her current boyfriend – again. It actually seems to be a bad habit of hers. However, when Fred and she go on a "secret mission," hilarity and romance ensue.

Chapter 3: The BWWNE

Author's Note: I can't believe I'm doing another author's note. You must understand, I normally rarely write these – they are so unnecessary and time-consuming. However, I think it's important to say that if you want your e-mail address to show up when leaving a message you must write it out as "SoAndSo at cox dot net". Or else it will be deleted. So... my apologies to those I did not send an e-mail to (Stella Blu and "blah"), I could not read your e-mail address. (And also, a response to Hermione being out of character... I honestly don't think she is. You must remember she is writing in her diary. These are her innermost thoughts, and I don't think that she would act so stuffy in her own diary). Anyways, continue reviewing and reading please!

June 5th – in Ginny's and my room – 5:40 PM

I've calmed down a bit since my last entry. I am no longer going to kill Ron. Maybe just break a few bones. A rib or two. Nothing too dramatic.

And, surprisingly enough, the person who calmed me down was Fred Weasley. Odd. When I was Prefect, he was always the person to infuriate me most. What with blowing things up and his and George's quick schemes. True, he was also the person most likely to make me laugh. Often, the sight of Filch's face has been priceless, and well-worth the lost points to Gryffindor. (But I couldn't say it out loud. Prefects aren't allowed to!)

However, I suppose I should start from the complete beginning, with the beginning being that we all went to Diagon Alley this morning. It was sunny and bright, and Mrs. Weasley thought it would be a nice treat to go and window shop. Mr. Weasley, Bill, Charlie, and Percy didn't come, but that's it. Even Fred and George allowed someone else to run their shop for the day.

Once we arrived I headed straight for Flourish and Blotts. I've been meaning to pick up some new reads lately anyways. (I got the books AP Transfiguration for the Studious Witch or Wizard, Divination Schmivination, and German Aurors of the Late Fifteenth Century. All fascinating reads!)

Of course, I was the only one who wanted to go there. I'm pretty sure Harry went with Ginny to look at a new quidditch store that just opened. Fred and George went to Zonko's to "check out the competition." Mrs. Weasley went off looking for a magical weed-killer for some sort of nasty infection her garden had. And then... Ron said he was going off to find his girlfriend of forever, Ellen.

Well... when I got to Flourish and Blotts, I began thumbing through books. And, you know me, eventually I was so engrossed in a particularly interesting book about the contrast between muggle and magical schools that I about jumped out of my skin when someone came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder.

I swung around, holding my hand to my heart, and saw – who else – Fred Weasley.

"Oh my God, did you scare me!" I said, swatting his arm.

Fred laughed and nimbly stepped out of the way of my attempted smack. "Fancy meeting you here," he said, nodding at the piles of books in my arms.

I rolled my eyes and snapped shut the book I had been reading. I moved to walk over to the register – when the books started leaning precariously to the side. Fred quickly rescued the books from my arms and balanced them carefully in his own. As he did so he must've seen some of the titles.

"A Hundred Ways to Begin a Potions Essay?" Fred asked. He glanced at the spines of the other books. "The War of 1781: A Biography on James Pittwitt, The Inventor of the Liberos Charm? Hermione!" Fred sounded appalled. "You're not taking potions next year! You're majoring in transifguration! I have honestly never seen such willingly-read boring books before!"

I imagine that I sniffed angrily (it's pretty much my automatic response) as I snatched a few books out his arms. "Just because I'm not taking potions doesn't mean it can't be helpful!"

Fred held up his arms in mock defeat. "Ok, ok, Miss Head Girl. Whatever you say!"

Ok, I admit it, I couldn't help but be a bit pleased at his words. "I'm not Head Girl yet, Fred!" I know I must've blushed at least a little bit. "Where's George?" I suddenly realized that Fred was missing his other half.

Fred laughed. I noticed he does that a lot. And he has one of those laughs, where it's infectious and makes you want to laugh. A good laugh. Like it bubbles up from somewhere deep inside of him. And it always seems that he truly finds whatever he's laughing at funny. You know?

And he said, "He's over there flirting with some chick."

Indeed, George was flirting up a storm with the pretty girl behind the counter. It seemed to be working, too. The girl was laughing and batting her eyelashes. Honestly, some women will go gaga over a pair of nice brown eyes!

"Uh huh," I said as I went up to pay for the few books that I had selected from my large pile. Once I had paid for them I returned to Fred. "Should we leave them alone?" I asked, indicating George and his newly found girl. George was whispering something in her ear, and it seemed she found it very funny.

Fred shrugged and glanced at his watch. "Sure, let's wait outside," he said. "We should meet everyone soon anyways."

So, we stepped out into the breezy, gorgeous sunshine. It was an absolutely beautiful day. The kind with the birds out and children running around screaming with dripping ice cream cones in hand.

"It's a nice day," I said as I saw the sun glitter and dance on a fountain. "Really pretty."

Suddenly I realized Fred was giving me an incredulous look.

"What?" I asked (kind of defensively. I had said nothing wrong!)

"You've known me for six years, Hermione! And here you have to resort to talking about the weather!"

I couldn't help it, I started laughing. Fred can be so funny sometimes! "Fred!" I said, giggling. "It was an honest comment!"

Fred rolled his eyes. "Honest comment, my ass! You couldn't think of anything else better to say? How about... 'Fred, I think you're incredibly good looking!' Or, 'Fred, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you've become a strapping young man!'"

Even though it probably wasn't that funny, I laughed even harder, and Fred joined me.

Suddenly, though I spotted Ron... with a girl.

I elbowed Fred. "Look," I said, nodding my head at Ron and the girl. They were walking away from us. Funny, I hadn't even seen them walk by I had been laughing so hard.

Now, this wouldn't've been too big of a deal – Ron with a girl. We all knew Ron had a girlfriend, Ellen Freemont. I can barely remember who asked who, it seems so long ago, but I'm pretty sure she asked Ron. He doesn't have the guts to ask anyone out on a date.

Ever since October (yes, that's nine months!) they've been dating, and up until now I thought they were completely devoted to each other. You know, making kissy-face in the common room and throwing notes with lipstick kisses on them during class. All that mushy disgusting stuff.

The thing was – this girl was definitely not Ellen Freemont, Ron's girlfriend.

So when Fred started to walk toward Ron with the purpose of saying hi, I had to stop him.

"Fred!" I hissed, pulling him back by his sleeve. "Don't!"

"Oi!" Fred said. "What're you doing?" He pulled his robes out of my hand. "I was going to say hi to my brother."

"Look who your brother's with!" I whispered to Fred as I pulled him back into the doorway of Flourish and Blotts.

"Er... His girlfriend?"

"No!" I said. "That's not Ellen! Her hair is longer then Ellen's! And that girl's got a bigger... er..." I could feel my face heat up as Fred looked at me questioningly. "...butt," I finished.

Fred peeked around the corner. "I s'pose you're right," he said. "But what's Ron doing with that girl? He said he was meeting Ellen."

"I don't know," I said, glancing back around the doorway carefully (to get a better look).

Ron definitely looked like he was up to something. He kept sneaking furtive looks behind him as if he were afraid someone was following him. However, as I watched, a crowd of people passed in front of Ron and soon enough him and his friend disappeared from sight.

"I wonder if Ron's going to get Ellen a present," Fred mused. "I'm pretty sure he went into that jewelry store over there. I bet he got that girl to give him advice." Fred pointed into the store that had a sparkling sign that flashed in slowly between all the colors in the spectrum. It spelled out, Dabbling in Diamonds.

Suddenly a glint appeared in Fred's eyes. "We should follow him! Catch him in the act of buying Ellen's gift! Then I bet you that I could blackmail him into testing at least the next two of George's and my potions. We need a new test subject soon."

"Fred!" I admonished him.

"Please," Fred begged, stretching his brown eyes wide. He looked somewhat like a golden retriever, begging to be taken for a walk. "Even if you don't come, I'll go without you."

"What about George?" I asked, glancing back into Flourish and Blotts where George must've still been flirting with the clerk.

Fred rolled his eyes. "He doesn't want me around while he's hitting on some girl, anyways."

Which was a good point. This may sound funny, but before today I have always sort of thought of Fred and George collectively. As if they were one person. However, I'm beginning to see differences outside the physical ones (George's face is more defined whereas Fred had more of soft angles. Fred is ticklish – George isn't. Fred has a scar on the back of his neck from a run-in with a nasty pitbull, George doesn't.) For example, while both George and Fred seem to pursue girls with a passion (Parvati said their funniness and "roguish charm" (her words, not mine) make them "prime candidates"), George seemed more interested in continuing things after he had gotten a hint. Fred seemed more like the person who would get a number and then "lose it" the next day. Kinda like me and my Commitaphobia. Maybe we're both Commitaphobic. We could be a Commitaphobic couple and have Commitaphobic children (HA!). Maybe the twins aren't as alike as I always thought.

After Fred and I had made our way to the window, we peered in, looking for the tell-tale sign of candied apple red hair. We actually quickly spotted him looking at rings with the brunette-who-was-not-Ellen (BWWNE).

These were rings like I had never seen before, though. They sparkled and shined like diamonds, yes, but I never knew that diamonds could change colors like they were. It looked like one particular one changed to the color that would best compliment what you were wearing. They were amazing! One diamond was in the shape of a beetle and seemed to scuttle around on a ring. Marvelous!

The BWWNE was pointing to the specific ring that changed colors, and she could be presumed to be squealing over it. She was pointing at it excitedly and nodding her head.

Ron smiled at her and called over a salesperson.

I heard an exasperated sigh beside me. "I don't know what he thinks he's doing. That must be at least twenty galleons."

The smiling salesperson took out the ring and handed it to the BWWNE to try on. When she put it on her finger, it glittered madly and then changed to a glorious shade of blue, which matched her deep robes perfectly.

I could see the BWWNE nodding her head excitedly at Ron. As if on cue, Ron pulled out his wallet and handed the salesperson fifteen galleons.

I looked over at Fred and saw his mouth drop. "That must be over a year's worth of savings! He must really like Ellen," Fred said, shaking his head.

Suddenly I saw something that made my mouth drop. Not being able to speak, I hit Fred and pointed into the glass.

And there was Ron, kissing the BWWNE (now stands for bitch-who-was-not-Ellen). Not just a peck on the cheek, either. I'm talking full-fledged, mouths open, hands on each-other's backs kissing.

I heard Fred swear loudly as he jumped back from the window. Several people turned and looked at him, shaking their heads. He simply shot them all dirty looks.

Fred, balling his hands up into fists, began to march into the store muttering. "Stupid git... I'll teach him... Treat a lady with respect!... Wait 'til mum finds out!... I'm gonna... What will Ellen say?... Beat Ron..."

However, right as Fred reached the door, I grabbed his arm and yanked him out of sight, right before Ron and the BWWNE exited Dabbling in Diamonds.

"What do you think you're doing?" Fred asked. "I'm going to teach that – " he broke off into a string of not-so-nice-words " – a lesson."

While I was led to believe the worst at the time, I tried to explain my reasoning to Fred. "It might not be what it looks."

Fred looked at me with disbelief in his brown eyes. "Not what it seems!" he almost shrieked. "He was practically oiling her throat with his tongue."

I'll admit it, I blushed. I couldn't help it. It's rare that I talk with a guy about stuff like this. "Yes, I know," I said. "But they could be... just... friends." I faltered at the end.

Fred rolled his eyes and looked like he was about to run after Ron, so I kept talking (although now I don't know why I did it. I should've let Fred pound Ron into a pulp. I must not have been thinking straight!)

"It could very well not be what it looks like. I mean, as far as any of us knew, Ron was in love with Ellen! He wouldn't shut up about her! It was Ellen this, Ellen that. It's not like him to go off and cheat on her. Plus if he finds out that we spied on him he'll be irate."

Fred shook his head. "You don't understand, I – "

George suddenly bounced up. "Why does everyone look so grim?" he asked.

Fred began to speak, "Ron – "

I stepped on Fred's foot, hard. I didn't know how else to shut him up, but it worked. Fred clammed up and gave me a dirty look.

I couldn't help but poke my tongue out at him.

"Ron...?" George prodded.

"Nothing," Fred said casually. I was surprised at how easily Fred lied, even to his twin. "Never mind."

George seemed satisfied. He lifted up a ripped piece of parchment he held in his hands. "I got her number," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Fred glanced at me, giving me a look that clearly stated "we'll talk about this later." However, he turned to his twin and high-fived him. "Rock on," Fred said.

George kept right on grinning like there was something else.

"What?" Fred asked.

"And I secured a date for you, my man. She seemed very impressed." George used a high falsetto voice. "There's two of you! My goodness!"

And, this is going to sound funny, but I suddenly got this little pang. I know it sounds odd, but I don't think it was jealousy. No, I KNOW it wasn't jealousy. It was more like... possessiveness. Like I've been hanging out with Fred a lot. Ok, not a lot, but a little more then usual. I don't know, but I didn't like it one bit when George said that. Or at least, I didn't until I snapped myself out of it. This is one of the Weasley twins I was talking about!

Fred glanced at me for a second, and I tried to look nonchalant by raising my eyebrows. Fred grinned and said, "Sounds good to me!"

Personally, I was appalled. He didn't even ask the day or time! Or her name! What if he had already had plans? What was he thinking? I was compelled to say something but managed to keep my mouth shut.

"So," George said, obviously trying to break the semi-tense silence that had fallen on our little group, "who's up for some ice cream?"

So, of course, the three of us went for ice cream. It was kinda weird, sitting there with Fred and George Weasley. I mean, you would think I'd feel like a third wheel or something, but I didn't. And, surprisingly enough, I didn't get annoyed at them once. Ok, I did ONCE when I caught George trying to slip a powder into my ice cream that would cause my ears to grow larger then average. But other then that, neither of them tried anything. Shocking, I know!

Unfortunately, the fun ended there. Soon enough we caught up with the rest of the Weasleys, including one very rumpled looking Ron ("I, er, tripped and fell on the ground.")

And, I know this'll sound strange, but I had almost (almost) forgotten about the Ron-incident. But the second I saw him again I got this sinking feeling in my stomach. And by the look on Fred's face, he was having the same feelings.

Once we got home, it was hard to find a chance to talk with Fred. He was always either with George, or I was with Ginny.

This is about the time when I started to get MAD. How dare Ron make us go through this! How dare he break my – and Ellen's – trust! What was he thinking! I became so angry I was practically in tears! That's when I wrote the last diary entry...

But, at one point, Fred and I were finally able to sneak off together. Fred led me into his room and shut the door, then turned to face me.

Honestly, I was expecting some kind of wrath. Such as, "How dare you make me wait to pummel Ron?"

Instead, Fred said (very calmly), "I've been thinking about what you said."

This took a lot of guts, admitting I was wrong, but I did it. "And I've been thinking about what YOU said! You really had every right to beat Ron. I shouldn't have stopped you from yelling at your own brother, and it really was silly of me. Actually, I wouldn't mind watching you snap off his head right now."

Fred smiled wickedly. "Actually... I think quite the opposite. Perhaps you were right, Hermione."

I coughed... choked on my own spit. "What?"

"Well, yes, it is possible it wasn't what it seemed, and I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. However – " he cut me off as I was about to say something "I can't help but thinking: what if he was cheating on Ellen?"

I nodded my head.

"But if he is, let's make him suffer," Fred said, grinning madly.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, maybe if we made him see what he did was wrong, he'll repent without us doing anything like telling people. Because if we were wrong about him cheating, it could be drastic. But... if we were right, maybe he'll admit it on his own terms."

"And how are we going to do all this?" I was obviously very skeptical. Who wouldn't be!

"You forget who you're speaking with. I am the master of scheming," Fred said, scratching his head. "But I'll coach you phase-by-phase. It'll all work out, love," he said, winking at me.

"I'm still not so sure this is a good idea," I said, but I was losing conviction. Making Ron feel guilty did sound wonderfully pleasing. "But then again... we never saw the girl's face. Maybe it was Ellen!"

"Right!" Fred said. "We need to figure this out! I'm starting to lean more and more toward this is a misunderstanding on our part. I really don't think Ron would ever do... something like that. Especially after... you know."

And I do know. In the very beginning of our sixth year, Ron dated Parvati. He seemed to be completely head over heels for her. Unfortunately, he walked in on Parvati and Dean Thomas together. He was crushed for almost a month. Luckily, he found Ellen to draw him out of his post-cheating depression.

"So, just leave it to me," Fred said. He turned to leave with a small smile and a wave to me.

"Oh, and Hermione?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"As for that big mouth of yours," he said pointing to my lips. "Well, shut it. Not even George can know." Then he walked out and just left me standing here.

He can be so infuriating! Yet so endearing at the same time... Does that make any sense? He's a brazen flirt, though. It's a pity, really. I remember it caused many a heartbreak at school. What with Katie Bell and Alicia Spinnet and Jessie Donnel. And well, George and him combined? It caused quite a ruckus.

Hermione Granger

June 6th – Outside in the Garden – Noon Thirty

Fred and I have just come up with the first phase of our plan. It's brilliant really! It's time to go carry it out, but I will write as SOON as it's done... promise...

Hermione Granger