Commitaphobia

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Harry Potter, and I own nothing.

Summary: Hermione breaks up with her current boyfriend – again. It actually seems to be a bad habit of hers. However, when Fred and she go on a "secret mission," hilarity and romance ensue.

Chapter 4: Status: Commencing

Author's Note: In this chapter, the outline for the "plan" of this step of Hermione's and Fred's is revealed. (You'll see...) After this, though, I'm struggling for ideas. Obviously, I should have planned the story better. However, this is what my reviewers will be (I have faith...) AWESOME for. I have a few, scattered ideas for more hair-brained scheming on Fred and Hermione's part, but any of your ideas are SO appreciated. (Edit: Sorry it took so long to update. I've been having huge computer problems, and on top of that I've been sick really sick; however, everything should be back to normal now.)

June 7th – Ginny's and my room – 10:30 PM

Fred and I have just finished working out the last phase of the plan. It took a lot of training on my part, but I think I've got it.

I should probably go to sleep now; I've got to wake up early tomorrow morning.

I'm so excited, though! How will I be able to sleep! Adrenaline is already rushing through my veins. I can feel it.

Oh, but I will definitely write tomorrow, after we've executed our plan. I'll tell you all about it then.

Hermione Granger

P.S. Um, did I mention I am SO EXCITED! Nervous too. It's a mix of excitement and nervousness. Nervited? Yes, I like that. I am nervited.

June 8th – In the Den – 12:06 PM

What a disaster! Nothing – and I mean nothing – went right in our plan. Unless, of course, Fred was expecting me to never be able to show my face in the Weasley household ever again...

Well, first of all, Fred wrote out the plan for me (I was a bit worried I wouldn't remember it), and I glued it in here:

Operation Ron Is Dead

Status: Commencing

Step 1

1. You will wake up at 0500 hours. (In case you don't know, Hermione, that's military lingo for five in the morning).

2. You will proceed with your day as you normally do, except for one very important detail: you will be downstairs when Ron awakes and comes down for his breakfast. He will shuffle into the kitchen in his footie pajamas, yawn, sit at the table, look around once, and then reach for whatever food is in front of him.

3. However, before Ron comes downstairs, you will slip the contents of the vial attached to this note into his eggs (I asked around; we ARE having eggs tomorrow). It is a medium-strength potion George and I concocted a few months ago for a new invention of ours, Lie-Prone Sugar Lumps. Unfortunately, the sugar and the truth serum had a funny sort of reaction. George's freckles were missing for almost a week, but, anyways... off the topic...

4. You will ENSURE the eggs do not touch his pancakes and syrup. This is mandatory. (They have sugar in them... if Ron's hair were to, er... well... let's just say that if mum were to find out... I wouldn't fancy looking for our heads).

5. Also! This isn't a real step, but I don't know where else to put it... The reason YOU have to slip him the truth serum is because if Ron sees me within a fifty foot radius of his food he won't eat it. (All because of a nasty Growing Gum experience last year).

6. By the time Ron is done eating everything on his plate, the truth serum should kick in. You will know it has when his eyelids droop a bit, and he'll look a little like he just got hit with a stunning spell. But only for a second. You'll have to watch carefully to pick it up.

7. Invite Ron to play a game of chess with you. You know he can't resist chess. I will, by this time, have emptied the living room (where the chessboard is) of other family members, besides myself of course.

8. I will pretend to be incredibly interested in you two's game. The whole while, we will be quizzing him indirectly about the BWWNE. This will start with me asking you guys if after the game of chess you guys want to play quidditch. You will say yes, and hopefully he will too. Then we'll ask about him bringing Ellen. Don't worry, we'll wing it from there.

Warning:

DO NOT MENTION THE BWWNE AT ANYTIME. You may mention Ellen, though. We want him to sweat into admitting his wrongdoing (if he has done anything at all) by himself. Plus, if he has done something wrong, I will get the utmost satisfaction out of seeing him squirm.

DO NOT glance at me knowingly when he answers a question, incriminating me. Remember, we did not see him with the BWWNE in Diagon Alley. Of course, he will realize quickly that he is under some kind of truth potion when he is answering everything we ask truthfully, but he won't say anything about it. He'll just think he's "slipping."

Er... and if it's necessary, and the truth serum fails... show a little leg.

-Bogey

Bogey is Fred's codename. Mine is Spiff. And yes, Fred did make them up.

Sounds like a fairly good plan, right? Um, SO WRONG.

Who ever knew I could make things so messed up in a matter of an hour!

Well... I sorta did. I insisted to Fred that I couldn't pull this off. I told him. I almost got on my knees and begged for him to be the one to carry out the poisoning of Ron's food. But no... Fred remained firm ("Hermione, honestly, are we in this together or not?")

So, I followed through with the plan to the best of my abilities. I even woke up a half an hour early just to make sure everything went smoothly. I got dressed, brushed my hair, brushed my teeth, listened carefully for Ron's footsteps, upon hearing none I smoothed my robes, nervously brushed my hair again, double-checked that I had the vial of truth serum in my pocket, stared at myself in the mirror ("Oh no, dear, those circles under your eyes will never do. Go back to bed,") and FINALLY I heard the telltale clumsy footsteps of Ron.

I took the vial of truth serum out of my pocket and placed it up my sleeve as I exited the room which Ginny and I shared.

I walked quickly downstairs and seated myself at the table, crossing my legs and looking around uncertainly. Mrs. Weasley was bustling around the kitchen, putting down plates, and the aroma of fresh-cooked eggs reached my nostrils. Mr. Weasley was sitting at the head of the table, reading The Daily Prophet. Because Percy has not yet made amends with the family, he was nowhere to be seen. I knew that Fred (and possibly George) had come down, even, before I had woken up and were currently in the living room.

"This all smells delicious," I told Mrs. Weasley before looking around furtively. I knew Ron would sit across from me. All the Weasleys sit in the same spots everyday. "Er, I heard Ron up when I came down here."

"Oh, wonderful, dear," Mrs. Weasley said. She set down a plate where Ron would be sitting and piled it with eggs, bacon, and pancakes.

Ok, I had to tell myself, it's now or never. The unfortunate part was... I kept thinking that never sounds good to me. However, I ignored that thought, and when Mrs. Weasley turned her back to tend to the bacon sizzling loudly in a pan, I reached forward and furtively poured the contents of the vial onto Ron's eggs.

Fred had spent the better part of an hour teaching me how to do that. How to balance the vial in your sleeve and then nimbly slip it out and open it (with one hand, mind you!) and dump the contents then recap it. It is like... difficult to the max. But I did it (and quite well if I do say so myself). Fred isn't too bad of a teacher. He never once got frustrated, which is surprising in itself because I smashed about six vials by dropping them. "Nothing a repairing charm won't fix up," he'd say and whip out his wand again to make the shards fly back together.

I'm not cut out for this, I remember this was my first thought when Ron came downstairs and sat across from me. I could feel that I was blushing furiously, and I tried to hide it with my hair. For once, thank God for it being bushy.

I chanced a glance up and saw Ron staring at his plate with his head cocked to the side. He had a horrified look on his face. I panicked, and I remembered Fred had told me, "If somehow you get caught (although I don't see how, you're under my great tutelage) blame it all on me. No, don't shake your head; my mom thinks the best of you, and I don't want to change that. I can't get in that much trouble. It won't be the worst thing I've done by far. Seriously, do not take the blame."

However, Ron quickly diminished my worries when he said, "Mum, you know I don't like my bacon all soggy like this." He picked up his bacon, and it fell limply in his hand.

"Well, dear, that's the last of the bacon, so take it or leave it," Mrs. Weasley said, snapping a bit.

I glanced down at my plate and saw that my bacon was, in fact, quite crispy. "I'll trade you, Ron," I said, thanking my blessed stars that I had not poured the truth serum on Ron's bacon.

A smile of gratitude spread across his freckled face. He looked so cute when he smiled big like that. It convinced me even mor: There was no way he was cheating on Ellen.

But I had to do what I had to do. I watched him carefully as he ate. I would occasionally take a small bite out of my breakfast, but not often. I was far too worried about missing the reaction Fred had described would occur in Ron.

I was very displeased to see that Ron started on his pancakes first, and then he slowly moved on to his bacon. How long does it take him to eat, anyways?

As I waited for Ron to take a bite of his eggs, Mrs. Weasley came and sat down next to me, helping herself to breakfast.

"So, Hermione," Mrs. Weasley said, looking fondly at me, "how did you sleep last night?"

I smiled at her. "Not well at all." What! Where had that come from? I had meant to say, "Quite well, thanks."

Mrs. Weasley looked taken aback for a moment, but she quickly overlooked it and said, "Oh, well why not? Was that ghost in the attic up to it again?"

"Actually, no. I didn't sleep well because I was worried about a scheme Fred and I are pulling today," I said. Immediately I clapped my hand over my mouth. Why had I said that? What was I doing?

That's when I realized it. I must've gotten some of the serum on the bacon. My stomach felt like I had swallowed a bowling ball. Oh no. I forced myself to look up and see Mrs. Weasley's reaction to the last thing I had said. I expected a mix of rage and confusion to be on her face.

Too my surprise she was smiling at me. "Haha, very funny, Hermione," she said, patting me on my shoulder.

I snuck a glance at Ron and saw him shoveling eggs in his mouth. Without bothering to finish chewing, he said, "Yeah, 'Mione, 'ou really 'ad muh goin'." He sprayed food across the table as he talked, and Mrs. Weasley gave him a reprimanding look.

I had to get out of the room. If we continued in this vain I would end up spilling my guts. And now that I look back on it, there's a lot worse stuff that could've come out of my mouth at the gentle but nosy prodding of Mrs. Weasley. Like my crush on Ron in 4th year. Or my current feelings on Fred (I'm not even sure what those would be). Or perhaps the one time I dropped Mrs. Weasley's vase, and she thought that one of her own children had done it.

That's when I saw it. His eyes drooped for a second, and his mouth went slack-jawed.

My heart leapt. Finally, we could get out of here!

I practically dragged Ron into the den, out of Mrs. Weasley's watchful gaze with a few well-chosen words. (Chess, play for a galleon, let's GO).

Of course, at one point, Ron asked me about why I was so anxious to play chess.

I tried to move my mouth into the words, "No particular reason." But instead, out came, "Because Fred asked me to."

This made Ron sort of look at me funny, but eventually I got him into the den, where Fred was laying back on the couch reading a book about famous beaters through the ages; however, I knew that he had not been reading. He had actually been waiting patiently for Ron and me to arrive.

I sat across from Ron, facing Fred. Ron's back was to Fred, making for easy communication between me and Fred... sorta.

As Ron and I set up the chess pieces, Fred mouthed behind Ron's back, "Is it on?"

I nodded my head yes. For once a question that the truth wouldn't get me in trouble.

Fred gave a quick nod to show he'd understood and then pulled his chair up to the chess table. "Guys playin' a chess game?" he asked casually.

"Yes," Ron said, nodding his head.

Fred tapped my foot with his own, indicating, I guess, that it was time to begin the grilling of Ron. I just had to cross my fingers and hope that Fred would not ask me any questions that he expected me to lie about. I mean, I could've told him that I'd accidentally been truth-serum-ized, but I didn't want him to know how incredibly stupid I was. I'd rather keep it to myself.

As Ron began ordering his pawn around, Fred leaned back in his chair and balanced it on two legs.

"So," he said. "After this I was thinking we could all go practice some quidditch. Fly around for a while, you know. You guys wanna come?"

We had planned this all out. Ron and I were to agree, and this was how Ellen was going to come into the conversation; however, I hate flying. Yes, of course I learned how to first year at Hogwarts, but I really don't like it. I'm afraid of heights.

"I would rather go swimming with the giant squid," I said, truthfully. Where in the world had that come from! What was wrong with a simple no? I cursed Fred for making the truth serum so brutally honest. I could feel my face burning, and I knew Fred must have been looking at me open-mouthed.

I chanced a glance up, and Fred was, indeed, looking at me with shock written all over his face. Ron did not, however, find anything weird about me saying this because he did not know we had this planned out.

"Well, I would like to," Ron said, as he moved another pawn forward, taking one of mine.

"You're not doing anything with Ellen?" Fred asked, with carefully crafted surprise. I could see him just barely sneak a look at me out of the corner of his eyes. I knew that look. It was a we-WILL-be-talking-later look.

"Nope," Ron said as he rolled his eyes. I had just moved my knight right where his pawn could take it. I suck at chess.

"Well, why don't you invite her?" Fred asked. "I mean, you haven't seen her yet this summer. Well, except yesterday when you guys hung out in Diagon Alley."

I definitely saw the tips of Ron's ears turn pink, but that's the only thing he gave away there. I distractedly moved my other knight, and he once again was able to capture one of my pieces... this time a bishop.

"Because she's been really pissy lately," Ron said. Then he clapped a hand over his mouth. He looked horrified. He had obviously meant to say something along the lines of "I dunno."

I resisted the temptation to glance at Fred knowingly.

Ron smiled sheepishly. "Sorry," he said. What a dopey thing to say. It must've been the only thing he could think of.

"It's ok," Fred said, letting his chair fall to the floor with a thump. He leaned forward toward Ron, his elbows on his knees. "I know what you mean. Girls, they always get in those moods."

I began to open my mouth to protest, but nothing came out. The truth serum was preventing me from denying that girls got moody.

"Are you gonna invite her anyways?" Fred said.

"Nah," Ron said. The inflection in his voice made Fred drop it. I glanced up at Ron and saw that he looked miserable.

Fred tapped my foot with his and glanced at me.

"So, uh, how's Chris Hayes?" Ron asked.

I looked up sharply, and I saw Fred do the same. I realized – Ron doesn't know. He doesn't know that we broke up. How had I not told him?

I could see Fred desperately trying to get Ron to shut up by kicking him under the table. "Ow, what're you doin'? Pawn to E4," Ron said, grabbing his knee.

"I don't know. I haven't talked to him in a while," I said.

Ron looked at me, obviously expecting me to continue. Fred was shooting a death glare at Ron. That's when I realized that Fred doesn't know that I don't care that much anymore. What with everything that's been happening lately, I haven't even had a chance to think about Chris anymore.

"We broke up," I elaborated to Ron.

Ron immediately looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, Hermione! I didn't know!"

Fred rubbed his face with his hand. "What'd you think I was doin', kicking you for fun?" Fred asked sarcastically.

"No," Ron said defensively.

"No, it's ok, you guys. I'm over him," I said, trying to cut one of their famous fights short.

Ron looked at me and nodded. "That's good," he said. "But what made you get over him so quickly? Check," the last part he added as he moved his queen.

I shrugged. "It's just been pushed out of my mind by a lot of stuff lately," I said. Thank God the truth serum hadn't forced me to say what things. But then I found the perfect opening to another question about Ellen. "What about you and your girlfriend? How're things going besides that she's kind of 'pissy'?" I asked, moving my king out of reach.

"Not too shabby. Check," Ron said, moving his queen again. "What's with all these questions anyways?"

And... well, it took me by surprise... but... the words that came out of my mouth... oh, I hate to even write them: "Well, Fred and I have been thinking that you're cheating on Ellen."

Silence.

Complete and total silence filled the room as both Ron and Fred stared at me in open-mouthed horror. Seriously, I could've heard the miniscule flapping of butterfly wings in the other room. I could feel my face burning a bright red, and I felt like crying. How could I have messed up the plan so much in the short span of half an hour!

Suddenly, Fred started laughing. "Haha, Hermione!" he said. "Very funny joke!" His laugh sounded almost completely real too. If I hadn't known he was faking it, I would've believed it. And once he started laughing, Ron joined in.

"You got me, Hermione," Ron said, shaking his head, still laughing a little.

I grinned weakly, but could not say anything. It would be a lie. I glanced at Fred, but he was not looking at me. I think purposely so. His jaw was set, and a muscle I had never noticed before was working. I'm pretty sure that meant he was upset. And damn it, Ron had beaten us again. Last time he escaped without us seeing who the girl was, and now I had swallowed Fred's truth serum. Damn it, damn it, damn it. And on top of that, Fred is probably mad at me.

Ron moved forward a bishop. "Checkmate," he said, smiling triumphantly.

I didn't want this plan in the first place. I told Fred it would never work. I told him! Ugh, and now I feel so guilty for ruining it. I hate this. I hate it. I hate being sneaky, and I especially hate failing.

I used my thumb and forefinger to flick my king over. "Good game," I said, before rushing off to my room. I wanted to GET OUT OF THERE. I feel so stupid right now.

And the boys have just now left to go practice their quidditch. Ron came in here and tried to get me to come, but I refused. He probably thought it was weird, but I don't care. I can't face Fred right now. He must hate me. He probably hates me as much as I hated that stupid plan.

Hermione Granger