A/N: Here be spammy, spoofy, parodic crack. I couldn't resist taking a potshot at all the awful, unsubstantiated Inu/Mir romances out there. Take this, bad!fic!
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Rain and Clouds
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When Inuyasha found Miroku, he was doing something that Miroku was very good at, and doing it for all he was worth.
That would be languishing. Get your mind out of the gutter.
This particular time he was languishing after Sango, but after years of travelling with him Inuyasha had learned that Miroku could pine for anything vaguely humanoid. Though attractive females were his preference, Inuyasha had caught him lusting after pretty boys, too.
Kagome called him 'beautisexual,' and explained that it meant that Miroku lusted after beauty rather than anything sensible like personality.
Inuyasha tossed his shimmering silver hair over his shoulder and felt inexplicably miffed that Miroku hadn't bothered to lust after him yet. What, am I not pretty enough for him?
It began to rain. Inuyasha's white undershirt (he had, for some inexplicable reason, left his haori at the campsite) quickly became soaked and clung to his skin. His pretty, pretty skin.
Inuyasha then proceeded to step on a conveniently placed twig, which was still dry enough to snap. Miroku whirled and beheld...
...his new lust-object.
Inuyasha grinned triumphantly when he saw the lust-light spark in Miroku's lecherous eyes. HaHA! I am pretty enough! I knew it!
Now that attraction had been established, it was only natural that they should proceed to tear each other's (remaining) clothes off and have at it like bunnies in the warm, wet grass.
They came to the simultaneous conclusion-- coincidentally, right around the time they reached orgasm-- that they were each other's true loves and that they'd been wasting themselves on those girls for years.
And so, as soon as they'd located their scattered shreds of clothing and returned to some semblance of decency, they marched back into the camp hand in hand (and starry-eyed, oh yes).
The girls stared at them as though they had grown extra...er, arms.
"We have something to tell you," Miroku said with a beatific smile.
"We're in love and we're going to elope." Inuyasha and Miroku smiled at each other lovingly.
Sango and Kagome looked at each other for a moment, then turned back to the men. "Oh. Well, that's good then. Have fun."
Taken aback, the boys stared at them.
"That's it? 'Have fun?'"
Sanga stretched and smiled lazily. "Well, now that Inuyasha's out of the way, I can finally make Kagome mine!"
Much shocked staring ensued.
"Oh, er, well then," Miroku stuttered. "Good for you?"
Bewildered but happy as...um, dogs...Inuyasha and Miroku strolled out of the campsite to find a good place to fornicate.
The girls watched them go and grinned.
OoooO
Oh, and they lived happily ever after.
THE END
A/N: The title is an old Japanese euphemism for the male orgasm. Now excuse me while I wash the taste of bad!fic out of my mouth.
PS- I believe the term 'beautisexual' belongs to Cinnamongrrl. It just fit so well I had to steal it.
