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Chapter 7
Lindsay couldn't get Danny's words
out of her mind. While doing paperwork, she sat there and thought
about it for the better part of an hour. This is Danny, who
apparently before I came, was king of immaturity. Now he's scolding
me for being immature. The worst part, he's right. I shouldn't be
acting like this. And Mac probably wishes he had never hired me in
the first place. I know I need to apologize to him, but I'm too
embarrassed. Well, I'd better make this appointment, hopefully that
will get everyone off my case. Even if I don't go, and I really
don't want to go. Couldn't Mac just leave me alone? I don't
want to have to face my ghosts.
Lindsay picked up the directory to look up the psychiatrist's phone number. She couldn't find it, even after searching through the directory twice. Oh, shit. I guess I'll have to go ask Mac for the number. Lindsay left her office to head down to Mac's.
Fortunately, Mac was in his office. Lindsay knocked. "Mac, do you have a minute?"
"Sure, do you need anything?" Mac really didn't have the time, but if Lindsay wanted to talk, he'd make it.
Lindsay looked down. "I couldn't find the number for the department psychiatrist."
Mac gently smiled. "She's not listed in the directory. I went ahead and made you an appointment. It's for tomorrow at one. The office is down at the precinct."
Lindsay opened her mouth to apologize to Mac, but what actually came out was a shock. "What if I don't go?" she said, quietly. Oh, crap, I can't believe I just said that.
Mac was struck speechless. He never imagined that Lindsay would ever behave like this, and now she'd done it twice in the same day. Even Danny would never had said something like that to me. He simply stared at Lindsay for a minute.
At the same time, Lindsay's mind was racing. Damn, I'm in trouble. He's already threatened citing me, and I just mouthed off to him. But why can't he just leave me alone? I'll be fine. That look is exactly the look my dad had when I was in trouble. She couldn't look at Mac anymore and looked to the side.
Mac finally spoke. "Lindsay, I'm not exactly sure what to say to you. I've already told you that if you don't go to the psychiatrist, I will cite you for insubordination, which would mean at least a two day suspension. It's very likely that the department is going to order you to the psych even if I don't, anyway, so you might as well get it over with. I should cite you for your, quite frankly, smart mouth. It's a childish expression, but you're acting like one. I know something's up; you wouldn't be speaking to me like this if there wasn't. I think you need to take tomorrow off. I'll do the paperwork for you to have a sick day. Go do your evaluation, and after it's over you'll be on emergency call. Go on home, you can finish the paperwork I gave you Wednesday." He had started off softly, but was almost yelling at the end.
Lindsay knew she couldn't object any more. "All right. " She turned to leave.
He softened his tone. "See you Wednesday, Lindsay. And Lindsay, I want you to look at me when I say this." He paused. "Please take the evaluation seriously. If I don't think you did, I'll keep you in the lab."
After Lindsay left, Mac was preoccupied with the problem he was having with her. He had spent more time that afternoon than he wanted to admit thinking about his newest CSI. She had seemed to hold up so well during the investigation, but now he wasn't sure exactly what was going on. He was pretty sure even before that last conversation that something was seriously wrong, but now he was utterly convinced something was. He felt so helpless, she wasn't opening up to anyone. He felt guilty for threatening her like he had, but he couldn't think of any other way to get through to her. Well hopefully the psychiatrist can get something from her. I guess I should get my briefing for her done. Maybe I should ask Danny or Stella to try to get something from Lindsay.
A/N: I had every intention for this chapter to go in a completely different direction, but my muse apparently had other intentions for this, so the emotion is not exactly toning down yet, but will soon. I had wanted Mac to be much more sympathetic, Lindsay to be far more mature (I had intended for her to apologize, but it almost seemed like I couldn't control it.) Her behavior might be a little OOC, but there will be an explanation for it later.
Coming up: Lindsay visits the psychiatrist
