Cook Brown: Parody of "Look Down"

(Scene: Five "Valley Girl"-type women lie on blankets on a beach, sunbathing.)

All:
Cook brown, cook brown
Lay on the beach and fry
Cook brown, cook brown
For darker tans we try.

Sunbather One:
The sun is strong
We'll soak it in till it's low

All:
Cook brown, cook brown
There's twenty shades to go

Sunbather Two
I've done no work
Just lounged here in this chair!

All:
Cook brown, cook brown,
No work? You shouldn't care!

Sunbather Three:
Oh no, the time!
Eight hours, could it be true?

All:
Cook brown, cook brown,
We got here before you.

Sunbather Four:
When I get tan, I'll wow my man
With my cute bronze bust!

All:
Cook brown, cook brown
And pass the tanning oil

Sunbather Five:
How long until
My skin begins to boil?

All:
Cook brown, cook brown,
The UV's what we crave.
Cook brown, cook brown
You'll see our skin and rave.

(Scene changes to a doctor's office. Jeannie, a woman with a very dark tan, sits on the examining table.)

Dr. Javert:
Now hear me, patient 24601 HMO gone awry, lol...
Your mole's benign
And your appointment's done.
You know what that means.

Jeannie:
Yes, it means I'm free.

Dr. Javert:
No!
It means you must
Stay out of reach of the sun.
You are at risk!

Jeannie:
But it was just one mole!

Dr. Javert:
You tanned unsafely!

Jeannie:
I had to help my skin!
My sister's face was white as death
And we were all pale.

Dr. Javert:
You'll be pale again
Without all of those hours in the sun

Jeannie:
But I've been tanning for 19 years
A slave of the sun

Dr. Javert:
Five years out on the beach
The rest on tanning beds that cost a ton
Yes, 24601.

Jeannie (wailing):
Noooooooo!

(Scene changes back to the beach)

Sunbathers:
Cook brown, cook brown,
The UV's what we crave.
Cook brown, cook brown
You'll see our skin and rave.