So that's what Thestrals look like. Sirius thought as he lurked in the shadowed bushes along the pathway leading to Hogwarts. He had never seen the black, winged horses that drew the carriages before. Now, however, that he had witnessed the deaths of twelve people, it was hardly likely that he wouldn't be able to see them.
How good it was to see Hogwarts again. Sirius felt warmth spread throughout his body as seemingly endless happy memories, memories that had once been sucked away and lost, came flooding back. However, the warmth was banished almost as quickly as it had arrived, and suddenly Sirius was afraid. A horrid emptiness was quickly consuming his entire being. With every ounce of strength he had left, Sirius transformed into Padfoot. He didn't need to guess that dementors were near.
Once Padfoot had pulled himself together, he began to formulate his plan. The sooner he could get inside the castle, the better. He had hoped that he could simply sneak in with the students, but with dementors strolling the grounds and the vast quantity of students, he figured that that was probably a stupid idea. His best bet would be to sneak into Hogsmeade and use the tunnel that led from Honeydukes' cellar to Hogwarts. He figured that no one would notice a black dog in the dark, so he snuck out from behind his bush and headed in the direction of the Whomping Willow.
It's still here, isn't it? Surely they wouldn't get rid of something like that, even if there was no real use for it anymore. Aren't they really – Moony? Padfoot's thoughts were interrupted as a familiar scent reached his canine nostrils. He turned around and stared at the large group of students. No Remus. You're losing it, Padfoot. Completely off your rocker. Memories are a bit too strong for you. Padfoot shook his head and trotted off. Minutes later he was staring at the Whomping Willow.
Still here! Yes! I knew Dumbledore wouldn't let me down!
Padfoot sniffed around for a moment before he found a large stick. After a few failed attempts to prod the not on the tree with the stick in his mouth, he dropped the stick, looked around to make sure no one was around, and transformed into Sirius. In a flash, he grabbed the stick, prodded the not, and silently slipped down into the tunnel and transformed back into Padfoot. He could tell that the tunnel hadn't been used since their last late-night adventure, their last night at Hogwarts…the night they had made their vows…
"I, Padfoot…" Remus had led Sirius in his vows.
"I, Padfoot…." Sirius repeated.
"Do solemnly swear…"
"Do solemnly swear…"
"Through fire blaze and ocean tide…"
"Through fire blaze and ocean tide…"
"To honor and value my friends who gather here tonight…"
"To honor and value my friends who gather here tonight…" At this point, Sirius would have taken the time to point out that the last two lines had rhymed, but the gathering was so special, so sacred, that even he wanted to show respect and maturity.
"And to continue to live proudly as a Marauder…"
"And to continue to live proudly as a Marauder…"
"As a bearer of great secrets…"
"As a bearer of great secrets…"
"But most importantly, as a friend."
"But most importantly as a friend."
"We who gather with you…"
"We who gather with you…" Now James and Peter repeated.
"Vow to always be by your side in your times of need…"
"Vow to always be by your side in your times of need…"
"And to cherish you as our beloved friend…"
"And to cherish you as our beloved friend…"
"Until the end of our days."
"Until the end of our days." Although they had been preparing and rehearsing this for months, Sirius felt tears well in his eyes as the words were spoken to him. Truly there had never been a friendship quite like theirs. This was real magic. Sirius felt the tiny room was too small to contain their love for one another, their friendship and devotion, and was surprised the walls were not fit to burst. His voice quivered, for he was so deeply moved, as he led James through his vows.
"I, Prongs…"
"I, Prongs…." James repeated.
"Do solemnly swear…"
"Do solemnly swear…"
"Through fire blaze and ocean tide…"
"Through fire blaze and ocean tide…"
"To honor and value my friends who gather here tonight…"
"To honor and value my friends who gather here tonight…"
"And to continue to live proudly as a Marauder…"
"And to continue to live proudly as a Marauder…"
"As a bearer of great secrets…"
"As a bearer of great secrets…"
"But must importantly, as a friend."
"But must importantly as a friend."
"We who gather with you…"
"We who gather with you…" Remus and Peter repeated.
"Vow to always be by your side in your times of need…"
"Vow to always be by your side in your times of need…"
"And to cherish you as our beloved friend…"
"And to cherish you as our beloved friend…"
"Until the end of our days."
"Until the end of our days."
As soon as they had finished with their personal vows, they blew out every candle they had lit, save one in the middle, and sat in the smoky, moonlit room. The beams of the waning moon danced in the smoke, casting eerie shadows on the walls. For a moment, they sat in silent reverence.
"And now, to make the sacred bond complete." Remus said softly. As one, the four friends recited together,
"We, the Marauders, brave sons of Gryffindor, swear on all we hold dear to ensure the safety and well being of our friends, respect the sanctity of our brotherhood, and to bear the secrets known only by those assembled here to our graves. This we promise until the day our hearts stop beating."
They sat in silence for a few more moments, before Remus made eye contact with each of his friends, blew out the remaining candle, and whispered, "Mischief managed."
Sirius felt chills race down his spine as he remembered the sheer magic of that moment. He didn't want to think about how it had been James who had led Peter through his vows. Peter had looked James in the eye and sworn to protect him…to treasure his friendship forever. Had he known then that in a few years, he would be dead at his hands? Had the thought even crossed his mind? Sirius didn't want to know. He didn't want to fathom how sick and demented Peter must have been to lie in the sanctity of that moment. As he reached the shack, he transformed back into Sirius and looked around. Nothing had changed. He walked upstairs to the room where they had held their ceremony.
Nothing could have prepared him for the shock he was to receive when he saw that every candle they had burned that night still sat in its spot where they had left it nearly 17 years before. A whole new emotion hit him and without warning, tears were streaming down his face, into his beard. Sirius felt his weak knees buckle and he fell to the ground and wept. The tears he shed were not only tears of guilt, but of the deepest, richest sadness. So much of his energy had been centered on hating Peter that he had forgotten what it was like to mourn. His heart ached with the weight of so many tears, and a terrible, inconsolable yearning to see his friends' faces one more time, if only for a second.
"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…Please, James…Prongs…Come back…I'm sorry…" Sirius sobbed. His starved body heaved as he wept. "Moony…I never…I didn't break my promise…I didn't…Believe me…I didn't break it…" He felt like a child, but he didn't care. He realized that this was the first time he had cried over what had been lost. He had not cried on that fateful Halloween night. He had not cried when he had been taken to Azkaban. He had not cried even during those twelve awful years. Of course the tears had threatened, but he refused to let them fall. Now the seemingly endless tears fell with ease. The grief he felt became so utterly overwhelming that Sirius found it painful to breathe. Only once before had he felt sadness such as this. The night he had been told James, his best friend in the world, was dead.
Slowly, the tears subsided, leaving Sirius exhausted, yet oddly relieved. He had been holding the tears in for so long. It felt good to cry. After wiping his tear stained face on his dirty sleeve, he stood, took one last look at the room, and walked back down the stairs. He had a job to do. He had to get into Hogwarts. He transformed into Padfoot and found the door that led to Hogsmeade.
It was creepy at night. Of course, he had ventured here many times with James and Remus (and Peter, but he was in no mood to think of Peter), but never alone. Not at night anyway. Shivers ran down his spine as he walked through the spooky village. The silence was deafening. Soon he was overcome with the awful sensation that he was not alone. He peered through the darkness and sensed something moving…silently gliding through the mist…
Not here too! He moaned silently. Without waiting for the unseen dementor to draw closer, Padfoot ran. He ran as fast as he could straight for Honeydukes. Fortunately, it was still as easy to break into as it always was. He crept silently into the cellar and through the tunnel that would lead him to Hogwarts.
His first step into Hogwarts was nearly as emotional as entering the Shrieking Shack. He soon found himself in the same deserted corridor where he and James had confronted Remus about his "furry little problem," as James soon came to call it.
He passed McGonagall's classroom. So many detentions… He thought fondly, inwardly smiling. Well earned, well deserved, well spent.
He knew he was approaching the Great Hall, not only because he knew every nook and cranny of Hogwarts like the back of his hand, but because of the smells and sounds that his keen canine senses were picking up. Soon, a voice he had not heard for twelve years yet recognized immediately reached his ears.
"…search of the Hogwarts Express, our school is presently playing host to some of the dementors of Azkaban, how are her eon Ministry of Magic business." Sirius stopped right in front of the giant doors leading to the Great Hall to listen to what Dumbledore was saying. So far, nothing he hadn't already figured out. But perhaps something useful would come up.
"They are stationed at every entrance to the grounds, and while they are with us, I must make it plain that nobody is so leave school without permission. Dementors are not to be fooled by tricks or disguises – or even Invisibility Cloaks."
Woah! Padfoot's ears perked up. Wait a minute…does that mean…? Nah.
"It is not in the nature of a dementor to understand pleading or excuses. I therefore warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. I look to the prefects, and our new Head Boy and Girl, to make sure that no student runs afoul of the dementors." Padfoot yawned. He didn't need to listen to any lecture about dementors. He knew so much about them he could write a book. Two even.
"On a happier note, I am pleased to welcome two new teachers to our ranks this year."
Not interested. Padfoot thought as he stood to leave. However, a nagging itch in his ear distracted him for a moment and he sat back down to scratch it.
"First, Professor Lupin -"
WHAT! Itch completely forgotten, Padfoot was on his feet in a second, his eyes wide. How many Lupins are there? There can't be that many…that means…
Padfoot couldn't stand it. He knew how much he was risking, but he had to know. Praying silently that no one was paying any attention to the doors, he pushed one of the doors open slowly with his head and peaked inside.
"-Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher."
Moony…
Padfoot knew him immediately. His light brown hair still hung to his shoulders, but was grayer than Padfoot remembered. His young face bore a few premature lines, yet his tired gray eyes still shone with the same kindness and cheerfulness he had exhibited twelve years prior. His robes were patched and very shabby and Padfoot realized that this was probably his first decent paying job he had ever had. All in all, he looked like the same old Remus.
Padfoot's heart swelled with joy. Not only was Remus alive, but he was happy, too. He was thriving, living the high life. Well, at least compared to the other Marauders.
It's so good to see you Moony…
Suddenly, Remus' eyes were drawn to the giant doors. Padfoot quickly pulled his head back and ran for the statue of the one-eyed witch. And although it had been a moment of panicking, he could have sworn that he and Remus had made eye contact before the giant door separated them once again.
