Tenchi Survivor

Day 20

Jose Philipe Mendola

Authors Rant: One more day. Man, is it going to be weird not working on this.

Legal Note: As to date, I still do not own either the survivor name or concept, or the characters of Tenchi Muyo. These both are copyrighted materials of their respected owners and affiliations.

Quick Notes: This chapter was, like many others, fueled, written and typed on Vodka, Red Bull, and a few No Doze pills…. A deadly combination, I'm sure. Remember, Jose does not condone those actions. On another note, this chapter was originally drafted two years ago, while I was in Europe for the summer. Since then, a few things have changed. Due to the heavy editing that it would require, many paragraphs and lines have NOT been changed, those that know of my previous heartache will pick up on this, but I shall press on, forget my troubles and still give away the pathetic secrets to my failed love life. Apologies in all respects, but not about the fact I say now what I do about you. Only small instances will be changed on the fly. Noreen, you stupid bitch, I still hate you. Enjoy!

And now, on with the show.

The road to recovery for Katsuhito was a long and hard one. Reconstructive surgery was needed on his back, rehabilitation for a busted leg, and stitches for a gash suffered on his forehead. Harder still was living with the revenge he wanted on the ever celebrating Ryoko. That was a deadly game on its own.

'Revenge?' Jose demanded 'Rehab? Stitches? What are you talking about? All he needed was a bandage on his head and he was all set!'

Look, I'm just trying to liven up the story here.

'Well knock it off. I'm trying to do a survivor parody here.'

Damn, sorry.

'Yesterday, things went well. The ring was torn up by a great match between Ryoko and Katsuhito. After Ryoko delivered a powerbomb onto a trashcan. More than that though, the events that led up to the match. First that morning, the survivors went down in a blaze of glory. Well, more or less, just a blaze. After leaving their fire unattended, the hut was engulfed in flames. First challenge in a survivors honor, saying good bye, as we all did when Sasami first left. After that, a showering game in memory of Ayeka. Unfortunately, that was rendered useless as neither of the survivors got the acid bath as planned. And finally, because of the quick thinking and the sorts of, a weapons match went down. We all know how that ended, so we'll just jump into today's challenge.'

Jose waved the cameraman after him.

'Come with me, we'll go and pay the survivors a visit.'

The survivors camp was far from bustling. Or a camp for that matter. Ryoko and Katsuhito were both under shrubs taking it easy.

Funny thing was, even after the match yesterday, neither of them had harsh feelings for the other. I'm not saying they were ready to marry each other, but they were on good terms.

Jose arrived in time to ruin their good moods.

'Ok gang,' Jose announced 'Time to start today's challenges.'

Katsuhito reluctantly got up, as did Ryoko who grumbles something in the process.

Coming out from under their plants, the survivors stepped into the 11AM sun. It was quite warm already.

'So what survivor are we honoring first?' Ryoko asked

'You both are indeed in luck.' Jose said happily 'First survivor honored today is Mihoshi.'

'Woo-hoo!' Katsuhito cheered.

'With only one catch,' Jose added 'It's not liquor of any type.'

'What?' Katsuhito demanded 'What kind of memorial game is this? What a load of bull sh-'

'What's the name of the game?' Ryoko asked, cutting Katsuhito off.

Jose smiled a shark smile.

'Taste and I.D.'

"Taste and I.D'?' Katsuhito repeated 'What the hell kind of a game is that?'

"It's real simple.' Jose said 'All you have to do is sit at that table taste every liquid we give you and identify it.'

Jose gestured behind him. The survivors looked.

Behind Jose, a long table was set up on the beach. On the table, two rows of cups lined each side. There must have been close to 300 individual liquids occupying opaque Styrofoam cups. This was going to be a bad day.

'So I take it that we are supposed to start on this end?' Ryoko asked.

'Either end.' Jose started 'Either way, you both start at the same end at the same time.'

'I'm afraid of getting killed.' Katsuhito said flatly.

'Now hold on a minute,' Jose said 'You have my WORD that nothing in ANY of these cups can kill you.'

'Jose's word,' Ryoko started 'That's a laugh.'

'If there is anything hazardous in any of those cups, I hope to be struck dead by lightning.'

Jose cringed and looked up toward the sky. No storm clouds, no rogue lightning bolts, no ball lightning. Just clear blue sky.

'Whew.' Jose sighed 'ok survivors, line up!'

Katsuhito and Ryoko stood at one end of the table, ready to start when directed. Both survivors were sweating, and not because of the heat.

'Survivors,' Jose said 'you all know the saying, so let's go over it one more time!'

Ryoko and Katsuhito exchanged looks of confusion.

'Don't-Get-Eliminated!' Jose yelled solitarily.

'Isn't that the catch phrase for Most Extreme Elimination Challenge?' Ryoko asked.'

'Ha-ha-ha-ha! Shut your mouth.' Jose laughed in a horrible dub. 'Now let's get cracking!' Jose cheered, back to normal. 'Survivors, begin tasting!'

Both survivors picked up the first cup. Hesitantly, they both tasted the smallest amount.

'Not too bad.' Katsuhito said as he finished the mystery liquid 'I had almost expected to die on the spot.'

'Cherry Coke.' Ryoko said 'A nice way to start out I suppose.'

'I agree.' Katsuhito said 'Let's move on, shall we?'

Jose nodded and the survivors moved down a cup. Ryoko was a split second ahead of Katsuhito to taste the liquid.

As soon as she did, her eyes crossed. Katsuhito did the same, but a second after; he was hit by the spray of Ryoko blowing it out of her mouth. She fell over before Katsuhito could soak her in the same fashion.

Both of the survivors coughed and gagged in disgust.

Jose smiled in content.

'Sour milk.' Katsuhito proclaimed.

'Defiantly.' Ryoko gagged.

Jose chuckled evilly.

'Come on, let's get a move on. Only 298 more to go.' Jose encouraged.

The survivors staggered to their feet and moved on. They knew it was useless not too. They had signed onto the island, and they were playing for a million and a trip for two to anywhere in the world.

Ryoko and Katsuhito both took the next mystery drink with caution.

That was pointless, as it turned out to be flat tonic water.

'Something to wash the milk taste out.' Jose reasoned over complaints.

Katsuhito scraped at his tongue with his fingernails as Ryoko spat up a storm.

This continued normally for the next 76 cups. One or two were good, and then something like vinegar or Taunton water would be thrown into the mix.

At one point, around cup 142, both Ryoko and Katsuhito picked out one substance before it came anywhere near their faces.

'JOSE!' Ryoko screamed.

'Man that is SICK.' Katsuhito scolded.

Jose only laughed because he was found out.

'In all of my life, I have never seen anything so disgusting.' Ryoko shouted. 'And to think you planned this!'

'That IS going too far.' The cameraman threw in 'Even for you Jose.'

'Pass.' Katsuhito said as he threw it behind him. Ryoko did the same.

As the survivors neared unknown liquid number 272, things had gotten slowly worse.

From dishwashing liquid to fish oil, yak blood to Crystal Pepsi; it was just a rough time to work off of.

At one point, Katsuhito was ready to throw in the towel. This was after a taste of onion extract. And he though the hot sauce was spicy. As for Ryoko, well, Ryoko had passed out for 10 minutes.

But let's forget about the survivors for a few minutes and dive into Jose and his mind.

Ever since he had been granted the money and time to run this show, a lot of things had been running around in Jose's mind. Not only what kind of evil to unleash upon the survivors, but more of a different matter.

Sure, torturing the survivors was a top priority, but it was not the only thing that kept Jose up at night. And neither was the thought of Mihoshi. All the time anyway.

No, what was on Jose's mind since day one was the last day on the island. It's not that he hated it here, Jose loved it. The clean air, the cool breezes at night, hot days, and the fact he was away from the family.

Jose spent a lot of time dwelling. Different things really, like what kind of alcohol went best with dinner, Jose's much better half (It HAD been a while since he had seen his favorite Bostonian Masochist), the price of tea in china, but most of all, the farewell song.

Every reality show had a good ending theme. It was a known fact. Jose had been feverishly searching for a song in hopes that one would stick out well. He was not about to be outdone by the new popular show 'I want to be a Zoo Wrangler'. 'Jungle Boogie' was their end theme, and 'Jungle Boogie' kicked ass.

Katsuhito's groan of displeasure interrupted Jose's train of thought.

'Tobacco juice.' Katsuhito gagged.

'I REALLY hate this game.' Ryoko added between retches.

Life was good. So was torturing the survivors.

'Motor Oil,' Ryoko mumbled 'defiantly motor oil.'

'USED motor oil.' Katsuhito corrected.

By this time, the survivors were so whacked on different liquids; they did not notice they had reached the end of all the cups. A profane number of mystery liquids later, both survivors were bleary eyed and pale. A perfect outcome for a pointless challenge.

'Well survivors,' Jose started 'Luckily this had nothing to do with any form of banishment. If it had been based on banishment, the game would have ended here, the million back to the network and I would have a nice trip to myself and anyone of choice.'

'What did we do that would have gotten us kicked off?' Ryoko asked in a zombie like tone.

'It's what you didn't do.' Jose answered.

'Huh?' Katsuhito grunted as he looked around 'Who said that?'

'The problem was,' Jose began 'that you only TASTED the liquids that were put in front of you. The projected plan was for you both to DRINK them.'

'The flesh of fallen angels!' Ryoko yelled as she stared at the sun.

'And the killer was smiling.' Katsuhito claimed.

'The crew will get this cleaned up, so let's get moving. AS soon as Ryoko is over her seizure, we'll set up for the last challenge.'

'What's the last challenge?' Katsuhito asked.

Jose pulled a short green tube out of his pocket and pulled off the black stopper. Holding the tube upright, a cigar slid out and into Jose's hand. Jose bit off the tip and spat the wad into the sand. Pulling a familiar Zippo out of his pocket, Jose lit and brought it to the tip of the unlit cigar. Taking a few puffs, the tip glowed orange.

Jose exhaled and a fine smell rolled out in clouds. Jose belched.

'Follow me.' Jose said.

Walking down the path behind him, Ryoko and Katsuhito followed in a trail of tobacco smoke that did not smell too bad. It was a dark, rich smell that reminded Katsuhito of his shrine for some reason.

Ryoko walked a foot off the path and hurled. One of the many things she had sampled a short time ago had turned her stomach upside down. Whatever the main cause, it was real bad.

Ryoko spat and walked back onto the path.

It was different. Normally the smell of a cheap cigar made Ryoko sick. But whatever Jose was burning smelt pretty good. It both cleared her mind and relieved her slightly. It reminded her of something, the smell, not Jose smoking, but she could not place the memory.

The survivors had been following Jose for a short time before he was stopped on the path by one of his 'henchmen' and handed a stack of papers.

Ryoko and Katsuhito moved in behind Jose to peek at what he was reading over.

It was a spec sheet that had a few different types of information on it. One was what looked like a weather report, one was a picture of a mountain and some kind of shadow-shrouded figure in both of the pictures, one graph that looked like a brain wave pattern and one was a compiled of a traced line, a map and coordinates. Below all of them, at least two paragraphs summing up what Jose was looking at.

Jose made a pained expression and wadded the papers into a ball.

'What's going on Jose?' Katsuhito asked.

Jose took the cigar out of his mouth and hurled it at his feet.

Ryoko saw the cigar fall in slow motion. It fell in a half turn and impacted into the sand. A small cloud of dust rose. From within the small crater it made, the cigar smoldered. Ryoko stared as the smoke rose off it and coiled into the air.

'Follow this path down to the next beach. I'll meet you there and I'll explain what the next challenge will be.' Jose said quietly.

'Why do I get the feeling that this on might be made on the fly?' Katsuhito asked himself.

Jose eyed Ryoko who was staring at the downed cigar. Not wanting her to lose interest in the matter at hand, Jose brought his foot down on it and ground the cigar into the sand.

'Now get moving.' Jose said.

When Katsuhito and Ryoko arrived at the beach, Jose was already there like he had promised. With him, he had set up a screen, projector and two chairs. If that was not enough, Jose was wearing a white jumpsuit and a yellow hardhat with a black cross on the front.

'Looks like he's dressed for a disaster.' Ryoko observed.

'I am.' Jose replied. And unless we get this challenge done, we'll all be in trouble.'

'So this is it?' Katsuhito asked 'The last challenge?'

'Yes it is.' Jose replied. 'This is the race.'

'Against what?' Ryoko asked.

'Certain doom.' Jose replied cryptically.

'What are you talking about?' Katsuhito asked, sounding a little worried.

Jose motioned toward the seats. Both Ryoko and Katsuhito took one. The lights dimmed (?) and the projector turned on.

The first slide was of a portion of the globe. The island they were currently on was of a small crop of islands off a coast. A red line ran between and across both.

'Our satellites are currently tracking an- abnormality- if you will, that has already moved across a few other islands. If the projected path is correct, we could be in trouble by nightfall.'

'So what is it we are worried about?' Ryoko asked.

'To understand that, you are going to have to understand what it's not, and how to tell if it is close by.'

The slide changed to a few smaller pictures. The first was of a black boiling cloud head.

'Like anything universally evil,' Jose began 'This evil is followed by a cloud.'

Jose extended his collapsible pointer and tapped a picture of dark hooded figures.

'These are its minions. Traveling before it, they are to weaken any defenses someone might have. They are pretty much useless, but I'd stay out of their way.'

'Sounds like a decent job.' Katsuhito voiced.

'Sure.' Jose said 'If you don't mind having your brain removed and replaced with Zorgon's ever whim.'

Katsuhito blinked a few times.

'This is indeed true.'

'So what else is a problem around here?' Ryoko asked cynically.

'The second problem is its counterpart.' Jose answered.

'Is it Hitler?' Katsuhito asked.

'Just as bad.' Jose answered.

'Who is it?' Ryoko asked.

'A creature so foul that I dare not speak her name, normally.'

Ryoko and Katsuhito leaned in a bit closer.

A demon so foul that the name burns flesh off bones, causes the sun to black out and rivers to boil.'

Someone gasped.

'Noreen.' Jose said.

A shudder moved through each survivor. They, as well as the rest of the crew, Pokezack (check his fics!), and the rest of the world. The evil that was Noreen.

A horrible woman that made living and working for Squanto District a nightmare. Too freaking happy during the day, a veritable plague at night. And the weekends.

'Ladies and gentlemen,' Jose began 'The only recall challenge left is a race, and this is a race against time. In the sort time we have left before this storm of wickedness hits, we need shelters up, weapons in place, rations secured, medical aid on standby, AA guns armed and read to go, escape routes and a general plan. Though I would normally have the both of you do it, I fear for my own life now." Jose mopped sweat off of is head. 'Forces, crew members that is, are already setting up. I suggest you both go help them. Now move.'

Jose watched the survivors scurry off and looked around. Not really caring if anyone saw, Jose dug into his pocket and pulled out his leather wallet. In a move never seen done by Jose before, he pulled out a picture.

It was a picture of a very attractive Chinese-American girl. Leaning against a light post, she was clad in blue jeans and a black Sweatshirt that claimed 'I bite'. Her dark hair created a very defined line against her light skin. Not surprisingly, she wore a smile that drove Jose nuts, a casual one.

It had been too long. Jose had been on this island and all over the world. He felt as if he had not seen her in forever.

'It'll be over soon.' Jose said as he slipped the picture into his wallet and back into his pocket. 'I'll be home soon.'

Ryoko set right out to aid in the creation of trenches. The idea was a standard WWI trench. 8 feet deep, supported by cut timber that ran from one key point to another. It was grueling work, but it had to be done. While in the process of widening and expanding trenches, Ryoko would drop crates of supplies and ammo at checkpoints in the trench.

Once one line was completed, she set off to lock down and conceal other sites of importance.

Katsuhito went to the direct aid of placing and supplying an anti aircraft battery.

Whoever had planned the placement of these four batteries had not taken the idea of concealment, accessibility or basic maintenance into consideration. The quad .50's were each in a corner of a squared field. None were in the cover of any trees or drop tarps. The terrain was unstable and not easy to navigate, no extra crates of ammo were stored and spotting them would be easy for any type of enemy.

'So if you are so smart,' a stagehand said to him 'you tell ME where to put them.'

Katsuhito was happy to oblige. Weapons were moved, spread out from one another, supplied, cleaned, manned and accounted for. Jose had hired a bunch of idiots.

Katsuhito made the mistake of looking in the direction of a large black cloud. It was now defiantly closer, and would be over his head soon. They all had to work faster.

Weapons in place, ammo at the ready and supplies stocked, Jose opened the door to his bunker and stepped out into the sun.

Inside the bunker, various computers and maps displayed information on the projected movement of the crisis.

Carrying a folder of papers, Jose made haste to follow up on the supervision of some of the less fortified areas. Things would have to be tightened up fast now. Already this cloud of impending doom had covered the top half of the island. Once another quarter was covered, Zorgon the Destructo-cor would, in theory, make his appearance on the island. Far from a good thing in any light.

One of Jose's projected plans was to move the island a bit to the right min order to just skirt Zorgons path.

Jose had the means to do this, but, like the Polish submarines with the screen doors, it was just not a good idea.

Or their idea for a solar powered flashlight. OR waterproof towels. Helicopter ejection seats. Dynamite candles, lava baths, Draino Lite-

Jose had better stop. He might have had a polish fan 5 seconds ago.

Jose hurried off to check the goings on of his cast and crew. Time was getting very short. Jose made tracks.

Zorgon the Destructo-cor had come. Both behind him and in front of him, storm heads raged. His first robotic foot to hit the island caused the entire landmass to shake. Even on the other side of the island, the ground under Jose jumped. The two survivors with him hit the ground hard.

'Perhaps this is a good time to explain what the hell this Zorgon IS.' Katsuhito offered.

'Mecca.' Jose said in a hurry. 'Basically, a recalibrated Gundam worker bot.'

'Oh.' Ryoko said with a shrug.

Through the sheltered areas half buried and covered with netting and tree stumps, Jose had a sinking suspicion. That being that this thing called a shelter was not safe.

Jose could feel the monstrous beast walking around his island. As long as it kept its distance, nothing too bad would come of it.

Jose reached for a radio while the Survivors reached for viewing monitors. All across the North end of the island, monitors showed a monstrous behemoth stalking the land.

'Outpost one and two,' Jose said into the radio 'Do you read me?'

'Loud and clear.' The RTO said back 'What are your orders?'

'Left ridge, fire onto target, right ridge, do not fire until told to do so.'

Over the radio, the sound of an AA gun locked into place. Jose slid over to a set of monitors.

Zorgon was coming up on the first traps of a lot that were set up. Zorgon began to walk between two plateaus. Jose zoomed in on the AA batteries that were stationed on the flats, masked by trees and drop tarps.

'Left ridge,' Jose said into the radio 'fire.'

The tarp was pulled back; a pair of quad .50's now visible on monitor. The operator cocked each of the four guns and let loose on Zorgon. The other AA gun was a size 20mm, normally used to take down bombers. It too loaded and began to fire as fast as it could.

Zorgon slowly turned to see where the offending weaponry was coming from. His back now to the right plateau, Jose called on that battery to begin its firing.

'Right ridge, drop and fire!'

Two more tarps were pulled away. Under them, missile batteries of 20 lance rockets apiece. One by one, the top of the tube casing popped off and a rocket shot out.

Even as the first two impacted onto Zorgons back, Jose turned to Katsuhito.

'Where are the other light AA guns?'

'Just watch.' He said as he pointed at the screen.

From higher up on the ridge tot eh left and right, two more AA guns targeted and fired on Zorgons head.

Two more rockets impacted on, making an even 18 hits, 9 hits from each 20 armed launcher.

Zorgon turned and caught a rocket in the chest, just stepping out of the path of a second.

Zorgon raised a hand to both missile sites, and Jose saw the crews of the portable sites scamper out of the area.

Multiple heavy weapons erupted from Zorgons hands, chewing up the ground around each site.

'Oh shit.' Jose announced.

The resulting explosion almost obliterated the plateau. 22 remaining rockets blowing up in the same place tends to do that.

The AA guns had silenced to reload. Zorgon though nothing of them. Damaged but still moving, Zorgon plodded on.

The 20mm answered again.

This time, Zorgon pointed at it. The barrel turned red hot and melted.

Letting the harmless AA gun chatter on, Zorgon walked on.

'Now I'm sure you had that planned.' Jose said to Katsuhito.

'Only the part to slow him down. This next part should do some damage.'

Jose flipped the screen over to see another portion of the island. Power lines Jose had never seen before stretched over the jungle.

This time, Ryoko stood up.

'As a tactical advantage, I came to believe that if power lines were out here, eventually Zorgon would come across them. In a move that would aid him in his advance, he would attempt to sever them, hoping to cut off all power. No blades on his body, and a metal alloy making up his structure, one that picks up electricity very easily, he's not about to walk through them. He's going to tear them up.

Jose watched as Zorgon extended his arm below the lines and began to raise them up. They were coming up in his bent elbow.

Ryoko began her explanation more quickly.

'Each line has 20 pounds of C4 every 5 feet on it. And those balls that are normally used to cut down on movement in the wind are 50 pounds of TNT a piece.'

Jose nodded his approval.

'Now push that button when you are ready.'

Jose pushed a flashing red button.

The screen erupted in a flash of white light. Outside, a massive explosion was heard.

Seemingly unphased, Jose stared at the screen.

A white smoke filled the valley where Zorgon had just been engaged. A soft wind was carrying the smoke with it.

Jose exhaled his held breath at what he saw.

Zorgon, scorched form the rockets, now stared stupidly at his severed arm. The blast had severed his right arm at the elbow, sending it somewhere if not in a million pieces.

Conduits and other such machinery and the end of his now shorter arm sparked and flared up. A few dozen less weapons, Zorgons internal mechanisms put out the flames.

The screens around the bunker dimmed and flashed in and out. Red lights flashed in time with a warning bell.

'Captain!' Katsuhito said with a Scottish accent 'We are being hailed by an outside source!'

'On screen!' Jose said.

Katsuhito punched a few buttons and the screens flared back up.

ON screen, a short haired woman was seen. She was blond and had topaz colored eyes. Her mouth was twisted into a crooked smile.

Brushing her short hair back, Jose shuddered as she began to speak.

'Jose,' she said cheerily 'Long time no see.'

'What do you want from me, you twisted creature?' Jose asked.

'What I deserve.' She said coolly 'Attention undivided.'

'I can see why you don't like her.' Ryoko said.

'Ever since your pitiful show started, you have had the attention of this bunch of morons. You were quite the foe years ago, but now you are without your counterpart. Sean has been disposed of for the time being.'

'You monster,' Jose hissed 'what did you do to him?'

'I've averted his attention with a faulty Magic tournament. Now in the middle of Toledo, he has no way of helping you this time.'

The screens flipped back to a picture of a one armed Zorgon beginning to walk again.

Ryoko reached forward and pressed an orange button.

Taking another step, Zorgon fell forward and fell on its front.

Jose looked to Ryoko.

'Trip-line.' She said. She tapped a few buttons and the camera zoomed in on a tight line of thick wire.

(At this point, your author has spiked the notebook he was working out of and danced around the room, to a confused look of a fellow Air Force employee. Half a notebook to go!)

'I'm not about to let her take your place.' Ryoko said 'She seems like a worse person than you.'

'Same here!' Katsuhito said as he strapped on a Kevlar helmet 'No way are you leaving yet. We are here to fight and finish!'

'Thank you.' Jose said as he hugged each of the remaining survivors 'Thanks guys.'

The landing was a hard one. Noreen had slammed her head into Zorgons main control panel.

Blood ran down her face and created a sticky pool on the status screen.

'Get up.' She said.

Some lights flickered and the Gundam began to rise. Slowly, due to its lack of an arm, it finally made it to its feet.

'Go.' She said 'Kill Jose.'

'You know I can't do that Dave.' Zorgon replied in a monotone voice.

'Why not!' Noreen demanded.

'We are currently being hailed by our Lord and Master.' The giant killer robot continued. 'Shall I put him through?'

Noreen sighed and nodded her head.

On a screen to Noreen's right, the face of a man appeared. He had a rough looking beard and moustache that connected in a thin line at the corner of his mouth. HE had thin hair that was, like his beard thing, turning gray.

'Report.' He commanded in an oddly high voice.

'We are in pursuit of Jose right now. Soon, I will have control over his game.'

'You mean WE will have control of his game.'

'Of course, Lord Gary.' Noreen said painfully 'WE will have control of his game.'

'And if you fail,' Gary went on 'Do not bother coming back, less I make sure you suffer through the rest of eternity.'

'I will not fail you my Lord.' She said, ignoring a flashing red light 'Jose WILL fall to me.'

'He had better.' Gary finished, punctuating it with an explosion as he signed out.

Wait, Gary didn't do that.

Zorgon rocked back, almost falling over again. All around the cabin, red lights flashed damage assessments and warnings.

'Second incoming RPG,' Zorgon warned. 'Buckle up, Dave.'

Before Noreen could react, a second RPG slammed into the view port of Zorgon.

Shaking the confusion out of her head, she did a thermal scan for the offender.

She saw Jose and someone else take off into the jungle.

Her eyes blazed with hatred.

'Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!' Jose yelled as Zorgon pounded after him.

Both he and Katsuhito had scored direct hits with a shoulder fired RPG. Having dropped the launcher, they made tracks for two more.

'What now?' Katsuhito yelled after Jose as he jumped over a log.

'Split up and head for the weapons cache! I'll be along in a second!'

Splitting up, Jose looked behind him.

Zorgon turned to follow Jose. The one armed behemoth tromped after him.

'Better me than the survivors.' Jose though.

After 5 minutes of being chased, and a ton of close calls, Jose had come very close to a second RPG. All he needed now was a shot and some space.

A pink ball of energy impacted on Zorgons shoulder, Followed by a flurry of 8 more. Once Zorgons attention was off Jose, another RPG hit direct in the cabin, blasting off a quarter of it.

Enraged, Zorgon and Noreen charged.

Katsuhito was in trouble, and Jose knew it. He was only equipped with one RPG. And nothing Ryoko was doing was affecting the Gundam and its evil pilot too much.

Something inside Jose snapped. Some anger deep inside his brain let go. Maybe it was the though he could loose his show to a greater evil. Maybe it was the face he would probably never get laid by any of the sailor scouts he so wanted. Whatever it was, it broke something in his mind.

Picking up his hidden rocket, Jose took a knee and aimed at the back of Zorgons head. Behind a quarter inch of steel, Noreen sat. If this was to do anything-

Jose loosed the rocket at the marauding giant.

He tossed the launcher away and watched eagerly s the rocket sailed toward its target.

It impacted and Zorgon shudder to a halt.

Gears locked up and conduits flared. Steam poured from its shoulders. Jose stood amid the silence.

Zorgon exploded into action. Arm shooting out, He and Noreen snatched Ryoko out of the sky. Following Katsuhito with his foot, Noreen attempted to stomp him into oblivion.

'NO-O-O-O!' Jose yelled as h pulled a hidden M60 out from under a fake shrub. 'Take THIS, you murdering bastard!'

Jose shouldered the weapon, pulled back the charging handle and let loose.

Armor piercing rounds pounded into the back of Zorgon. Scoring hits along the shoulder and head, Jose pushed on the ammo and emptied the small assault pack.

The gun smoked off and Jose looked over the barrel.

Zorgon released his grip on Ryoko and she fell from the sky and through the treetops. Zorgons feet also stopped pounding after Katsuhito. He took off to recover Ryoko.

Jose dropped the machine gun and stood up. His knees cracked as he did so. Shielding his eyes against the sun, Jose looked up at Zorgon.

The machinery clanked and steamed. A sick black liquid poured out of the joints. A grinding of gears was heard, followed by a pop of rivets.

Jose exhaled and dropped his shoulders. He was so tired. Jose wanted to go home. Go home and see his Miko. And have a pizza. Mmm. Pizza.

Jose closed his eyes and pictured home and what awaited him. It felt like Jose was being lifted toward heaven.

Ouch. That kind of hurts god.

Jose opened his eyes. He certainly was being lifted up, but not by God.

Well, quite possibly a god to someone, but this creature was the veritable Scion of Darkness.

Jose was lifted up to the creatures face. Well, its control panel anyway, and Jose came face to face with his arch enemy. One of them anyway. Well, the other was a serious threat in Jose's absence from home, but both were strong rivals.

Noreen was battered and bloodied. One eye was black and swelled over. A large gash on her forehead masked half of her face in a crimson mask.

'I don't know how you did it,' Noreen started 'but this is going to cost you.'

Jose could feel Zorgons grip tightening. Things started to get dark and fuzzy.

'Any last words?' Noreen asked.

'Just a few.' Jose managed 'the love I had waiting for me at home, though completely physical, was worth it, and will never die.'

'Boring.' Noreen said with a sigh.

'And whatever happens here, she'll know it was the best sex of my life.'

Zorgon tightened his grip. Jose's vision went red.

'Say goodbye, Jose.' Noreen answered.

Zorgons grip tightened a little. Jose could barely breathe again. Much better.

'What's so funny?' Noreen asked.

Jose lifted a weak arm and pointed behind her.

Noreen turned a bullet-riddled hull around. Sounds from the shell of Zorgon protested, but Noreen pushed anyway.

Zorgon made a 180 degree turn.

Fire erupted from his abdomen. Metal plates separated from one another. Wires and circuits fried. The monstrous engine shook violently and locked up. Rivets shot out like bullets, gears fell apart and the upper body shifted.

Jose was a good 70 feet above the treetops when Zorgon let him go. It might have been better if Jose was unconscious or dead when he was falling, but Jose had been spared. At the hands of Zorgon anyway. That was fortunate.

'Danger Will Robinson!' Zorgon squealed as his top half began to fall to earth next to Jose 'DANGER!'

Jose crashed through the treetops, breaking branches on the way down. Vines, twigs and leaves lashed at Jose as he fell. He caught a tree limb to the gut as he fell. Wind knocked out of him, Jose blacked out when he hit the ground.

Noreen crawled out of the wreckage and struggled out of the mass of wires that was once Zorgon. Kicking loose, she saw that Jose was lying not too far from her.

Standing on shaky legs, she spat at Jose. It landed messily on the back of his shirt.

'Your show is MINE!' she yelled. 'You're dead, your survivors are alive enough to continue, and you have no power from here!'

Jose breathed a little, marking that he was still a little alive. 'Oh no,' Noreen said to herself. 'Not this time.' She reached to the small of her back and brandished a .9mm at Jose's body. She laughed insanely as she talked. 'Not again. Sean's not here to save you THIS time! No, not again. Not this time.'

Noreen slid back the bolt, bringing a round into the chamber. If Jose was conscious, he would have been able to identify that the pistol housed 12 hollow tip rounds. Jose had no idea. He was out.

'Nice to know you, Jose. Say hello to God for me.'

The gun fired, a chest cavity exploded. Steel dug through spine, lung and into a ribcage and exited flesh. Blood decorated the nearby area. Lifeblood created a pool. A spent shell lie smoking in the sand.

Noreen fell to the ground. Impaled with a spear that went right through her.

'Not this time.' She repeated before she passed.

Jose lifted his head the slightest. It felt like it weighed a million tons. Jose let his head thump back into the sand. The last thing he though he saw was a Metalgarugumon standing a few yards behind where Noreen lay dead. He might have been holding three more spears.

'Did he make it?' A voice asked. It seemed like it was a million miles away. 'It looks like he's breathing.'

'Don't touch him.' Another voice said 'Ham Bandit said to let the spell take affect.'

Jose saw a white light. He was also standing. Jose hid his shame. He was standing naked. He looked around. The white space had no defined depth or width. Jose was not even sure he was on the ground.

Looking down, Jose saw that there was a marking on his chest. It looked like a few scribbled lines, but they had a purpose, he supposed.

A shadow came toward Jose. A shadow darker than anything imaginable cast by nothing in a world of light. The shadow wore a long cloak and carried a large, wicked blade. It was death.

Death had come for Jose.

Jose recited a bible verse. Death did not feign.

Death neared and raised his weapon. Soul Reaper.

Death swung at Jose and connected with nothing.

It was as if a bar caught his bade and held it there.

The shadow looked at Jose's chest and sheathed the weapon. Reaching further into its infinite void of cloak, death pulled out a large sand timer and flipped it over from empty to full. The sand began to fall slowly. That done, death receded and disappeared into the white of the world.

Jose sat straight up and coughed a mouthful of blood.

Ryoko shrieked and jumped back. Katsuhito did the same.

Jose reached up to his forehead and pulled off a long, thin piece of paper.

Ignoring the blood on his chin, chest and legs, Jose looked it over slowly.

It was a simple character. A few scribbles and a dot here and there. At the bottom, it was signed.

'Mullet.' Jose said groggily 'Mullet.' He repeated.

Jose was helped to his feet by the survivors he had kind of died to protect. Making sure he was ok to stand, the survivors released him.

Jose thanked the survivors for taking part in today's game and thanked them also for helping him. It was real fast and easy. Pretty much good luck tomorrow, sleep well and be ready to play.

Jose was about to leave when Katsuhito stopped him.

Jose turned and looked at him. Nothing was said, but both Survivor and host extended right hands and shook on a good day.

After nodding his thanks, Katsuhito turned and left.

Jose turned and came face to bloodied face with Ryoko. She was holding an envelope.

'He said to give this to you.' She said quietly 'that you would understand it.'

Jose took the letter and slipped it into his pocket.

'I wanted to give you this, and hope you would understand it.' Ryoko continued.

Surprising Jose, and probably herself, Ryoko stepped toward Jose and kissed him lightly on the bruised cheek.

Jose winced.

Ryoko smiled and headed after Katsuhito.

'She wants you.' The cameraman said.

Jose sidestepped and swung at him, connecting with his arm.

Jose walked down the path toward his hut, past the mountains where Zorgons severed arm now stand. Stuck fist up out of the mountain, it steamed off for the rest of the evening, all night and into eternity (a la FLCL).

A letter sat opened on Jose's table.

Quietly, Jose slept peacefully on his bed.

The letter read:

'Jose,

Almost fell for it, but left after I found out it was no one but a boatload of sugar-hyped campers. Did all I could, brought my spear heaving friend. And a Death Ward. Damn good thing I did. Watch your back, only because I'm not going to be able to all the time. Ah, and guess that SCUD missile did the trick right well. No more Zorgon I guess. Stay sharp and I'll catch the end of Survivor tomorrow. Best of luck to you.

Kitchen staff of 02' rules!

D&D when I get back.

-Mullet'

End of day 20

I can see where doing an entire ending on an inside joke might not work too well, but it was fun none the less.

Many thanks to Miko, Sean, Gary, but not Noreen. Burn bitch.