Disclaimer: Joss is the king, and we are merely poor peasants who bow before him. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
She shouldn't have left. She shouldnt have used him. Buffy had a long list of things she shouldn't have done. But, thesedays there wasnt a lot she was doing right. Ever since she got back, every decision she made was the wrong one. Now isn't the time, she thought to herself, wait until after the wedding. Then you can think about everything.
Buffy was slow getting ready, not entirely looking forward to Anya and Xanders big day. She knew she should have been happier for them. Happy for their nice simple little lives with two people that hadn't died several times between the two of them. Then again, it could be the radioactive dress that wasn't adding to her glee for the big event. She fixed her hair up nicely, and reluctantly wove the tacky white plastic flower into her golden locks. She checked her make-up as well as her emotionlessless expression to make sure she revealed no pain. When she lets others know her pain, it only leads to badness. Spike always understood...
Luckily, at that moment Willow cut into her thoughts. "Buffy, it's hideous. Oh my god Buffy look at its arms." Arms, Spike has nice arms. Oh my god, what am I, a hormonal thirteen-year-old? New line of thought please. Complaining about the dress, at least that was something she didn't have to lie about.
Walking down the hallway to Xander's dressing room, she thought about where they had been three years ago, when Xander and Anya had gone to the prom. Or back before that, when Anya was a vengence demon. Back then, being with Angel forever had been her biggest concern. Maybe Spike is right, maybe I never really got over him. Wait, the words "Spike" and "right" in the same sentence, I must be losing it. Besides, Spike and Angel were temporary. The world would go on after they were gone. She'd lost people before. Letting go wouldn't be so hard this time. Sure, you keep thinking that.
Xander in a tuxedo. Xander getting married. Xander talking to her about he and Anya getting married. How did we get here? If someone had told us four years ago that Xander would marry an ex-vengence demon and I would be sleeping with Spike...I would have laughed my butt off. And then slayed them.
"How do you know Anya's the one?" The words were out of Buffy's mouth before she'd even thought about them.
"I've actually been thinking about that a lot lately, with the wedding and all," Xander began,"I love her, Buffy. When she's around, its like my whole life, all the apocolypses, all the ups and downs, were for getting me here, with her. When I'm with Anya, life isn't hell. Kinda ironic, with her being an ex-demon and all, I know."
Watching Anya walk down the aisle to Xander actually made Buffy happy. She still couldn't believe they actually did it, they actually got married. Well, they deserve it. Xander was a married man, and the wedding was beautiful. Of course, there was that pesky demon she had to kill before the wedding started, but what did they expect? They were on a Hellmouth. I think half the wedding guests would have been disappointed had there not been a demon killin'.
Xander and Anya walked out of the wedding chapel hand in hand, under a shower of birdseed, at Dawn's request ("Do you want dead birds everywhere? I heard about weddings, rice, and pigeons. There are diagrams, do you want me to show you the diagrams?") And despite their differences, their individual pasts, and their concerns about their future, they were in love. Buffy couldn't help but remember Xander's words, "When I'm with Anya, life isn't hell."
The only time she could bear living was when she was with Spike. Sure, that feeling Xander explained was intensified because she had been in heaven, but that didn't make it any less real, did it?
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I know, I know, I cut out the Buffy and Spike scene from the wedding, along with the goth-girl (I know you all love the goth-girl, but what can I say- my prerogative.) But I promise I'll make it up to you. And as always reviews are really appreciated.- spikeluvver91
