Early, very early, the next morning, circa 5ish shall we'll say? We'll say. Draco was woken by a USP! (Unidentified Singing Person) (don't laugh! Yous gots ta watch outs fer thems. Yas nevers knows when theysa gonna comes ups und gets thee) (that made perfect sense dan't it?)

Quick Author's note singing equal's

"My brain feels like it's gonna bleed"

thinking equal's

My brain feels like it's gonna bleed.

OK, we gut? We gut! Back to-a the storya!

"I'm having trouble trying to sleep. I'm counting sheep but running out. As time ticks by, and still I try. No rest for crosstops in my mind. On my own... here we go! NER! NER! NERNER, NER! NER! NERNER!" (If you don't know this song you must have fruit thrown at you! Immediately!) Draco could simply not believe what he saw before him. In front of him sat the oddest dressed girl her had ever seen. No, wait, make that oddest dressed person he had ever seen. She had on half a top hat and the left side of her face was painted white with red and silver strips. The ensemble also included a black halter-top with ribbons hanging of the bottom, a tailed black jacket that someone had cut the sleeves off of, long black shiny gloves that went up to her shoulders, and only covered her middle finger. Black hot pants with large black opals going around the top and shiny black heeled boots that went up to her thighs completing the look. The specific look she was going for though remands a mystery though. A cane with what looked like a fancy golden doorknob handle lay by her side and a nail filler lay in her hand. She casually looked up from her filling and equally as casually said "G'mornen." Poor Draco, just did not know what to make of the situation. (It's too early in the morning for this alright!) "My my," she said with a smirk, "you seeeem to be the main presentation and IIIIIII, just happen to be in the front of the class. How lucky of me." Suddenly, Draco's brain started working. (Finally! It's only taken him like 10 min's!) He realized that he and Harry were naked, and laying by each other, and there was girl who knew everything sitting right in front of them.

"AW!" He screamed & quickly tried to grab his cloths and scoot back at the same time. Why was he trying to scoot back? How am I supposed to know! Just because I'm writing the darn thing doesn't mean I know what's going on in it! One of his first instincts was probably to hide and that goes in hand with running away so that's probably what he was tryen ta do. ""thud!"" But unfortunately all he succeeded in doing was hitting his head on the wall behind him, very hard I might add, and waking up Harry.

"Huh? Eh? Wha happened?"

"G' mornen," the girl greeted him in the exact same manor that she had greeted Draco.

"….who the heck are you?" a not entirely evil but evil to a good degree, and clever can't forget clever, smile crossed the girls lips.

"Who am I?" as she said this she had pulled out a small plastic cover and shoved her nail filler into it, then casually thrown it over her head. "I suppose I'd be whoever you wanted me to be, if one of you or even I wanted it that way, but I'm probably going to end up being the one to make your lives hell and you'll end up hating me. How sad, weep weep." She made her hands into little fist and acting like she was crying.

"But that doesn't answer my-"

"Oh god!" Harry's interrogation was cut off by the sound of Draco weeping and saying "Oh god" over & over again. Harry, now a little more awake and functional, remembered the sound that had awakenedened, blah, woke him up and noticed the way Draco was holding and rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh Draco, did you hurt yourself?" Harry quickly rushed to his lovers' side, but was careful to keep a shirt around his waist, because he didn't want that creepy girl seeing anything! "Come on now Draco let me see your head," but Draco would not move. "What's wrong?" He knelt down to get a better look at Draco's face. The poor boy looked positively petrified, as if someone had just murdered his whole family and made him watch (& who knows, they just might). "D-Draco…" least to say Harry was very scared and knew not what to do, but the mysterious girl, who no one (in this room anyway) was paying attention to at this point was watching all this with a huge malevolent smile on her face. (That's such a fun word, like goulashes) "Draco wha-"

"Someone knows…."

"Huh?"

"Someone knows!" He grabbed Harry by the shoulders and dug his nails in then immediately started screaming at him. "What am I gonna do when people find out? What's gonna happen when my father finds out!" The tears started to come slowly then burst out as the boy buried his face into Harry's leg. "What's gonna happen? What's gonna happen!"

"I-it's alright Draco, no one will believe her. It's our word against hers," the boy still wept, "No one will believe her, there's no proof."

"Ehem! That, would be where you're wrong," from under her lovely coat she pulled out a large bundle of pictures, all containing images from the pervious night. She casually flipped through them and would stop every once en'awhile to better examine a certain one. At this Draco screamed more and griped Harry's leg very tightly.

"Ow! Don't worry, maybe they're fake? Ow! Stop doing that!"

"Pffft! Yeah, they're fake, sure. I'll tell ya now boyoz, you can put these pictures through every kinda fraud test ya want but they still gonna come up positive. As in not fake as in biggest scandal since book 6."

"What's book 6?"

"Uh, never mind. The point is you to is gonna be the talk of the town and I'm gonna be getting paid."

"No…NO!" Draco screamed and griped Harry's leg even tighter.

"AH! Stop it already that hurts!"

"I imagine it does," the strange girl was now looking at them with a, not displeased look but not a curious look, somewhere between a curious and displeased look we'll say. "Man he's whiny, and weak. How'd he end up being on top?" Harry glared at her and held Draco's head to his chest.

"I wanted him to be on top." He declared in a very stern voice.

"Ehe, yeah, whhhhy?"

"Well, erm, because, ah, it made, um, BECAUSE!"

"Sheesh, don't get your paties in a bunch. Wait…….hehehe, never mind. (they ain't wear'en no panties) Any who I am not a totally heartless deity, actually I don't even think I'm a deity. Wouldn't know personally. I'm willing to offer you a proposal, so shut your baby whale up and listen like good respectable fags!" Harry was skeptical of this, to say the least. He did not trust this girl one bit, but he really had no choice but to listen to her proposition because neither he nor Draco where really in the position to, put up a descant argument.

"Come on, get up Draco." The more he tried to pull the boy off his leg the further he dug in his nails. (Painful, trust me) "Ah!"

"Ihr, let me try." The girl jumped off the desk grabbed her cane battered up and hit Draco square in the noggin. (Also very painful) The boy flew straight off of Harry's leg and square into a wall where his head was quickly jerked upward so he was eye to eye with the strange girl and whimpering softly. (Boy, he is whiny. I'm gonna get sued for having this boy totally OOC aren't I?) It had happened so quick that poor Harry didn't have time to process the situation.

"Wha- What? Why!" She pointed her cane at him and said,

"Boy, you to slow. You never gonna make it if ya keep that up. Get quick," then she raised Draco's head back up to eye level and pointed her hand at his face. "Stop crying," almost instantly Draco did so. "Relax. Calm yourself," Harry noticed that Draco's body seemed to become less tense as she said this. "Good, now inhale," she demonstrated and he followed, "Now exhale," again with the demonstrated & following. "Good boy, we may just have some use for you yet," as she said this she was studying him up and down. Harry was not happy with this. Draco was his!