Kid Muscle's Marriage and Roxanne's Kidnapping

On a planet only known as Earth, things were very lively. This was the place in which planetary wrestlers from all over the galaxy came together to wrestle in the biggest event ever, the Chojin Crown! The greatest fighters came from Muscle Planet.

In fact, Muscle Planet's champion was in the middle of a match of his own.

We take you to the ring where a muscular man who wore spandex, had a cutter on his head and wore a scary mask was fighting the ultimate battle. This would determine whether or not he was the true champion of wrestling.

His name was Kid Muscle, and he was currently undefeated in the Chojin Crown. Sure, the whole thing was over, but it was going to start again in about a couple of months. This match was just to see if he truly deserved his title.

See, his opponent was a man named Byaakugen. When he heard that Kid Muscle was the best, he was jealous, so he challenged Kid Muscle to a fight.

Kid Muscle proved his worth as he slammed the behemoth to the mat. He got up and asked, "How do you like that? It seems as if I'm still the undefeated champion of the world!"

Byaakugen was not ready to give up. He got up and glared at the kid. His eyes glowed with fury as he said, "I will not let you keep your title! I refuse to allow someone else to take the title that was rightfully mine to begin with!"

Kid's quarter man, a man wearing a cape and a diaper named Meat got up and shouted, "Kid, watch out! That look in his eyes means that he's about to perform the attack that leaves all of his opponents unable to do anything!"

Kid was now scared. 'He has an attack that'll make me immobile?' he though.

Kid's friends cheered him on. There was a red gazelle named Dik-Dik Van Dik along with a walrus named Wally Tusket. There was also a knight, rook and king combined together to form Checkmate. Another wrestler was a German man who wore a green helmet. His name was Jaeger. There was also a tough man from Texas named Terry Kenyon.

Finally, there were the three girls. Their names were Kiki, Trixie and, the apple of Kid Muscle's eye, Roxanne. Roxanne always had two marvelous pigtails in her hair and she was very beautiful. It was because of this that the kid never really had a chance with her.

Anyway, Byaakugen rushed at Kid Muscle. This opponent was fierce indeed. He had a head shaped like a cannonball, two hands that looked like cannonballs but were really clamps that he used to hold his opponents in place, and his body was like a dark green wrestling suit.

Byaakugen opened up his clamps as Meat shouted, "KID! HE'S GOING TO USE THE ULTIMATE MOVE!"

Kid nodded and rushed at his opponent with a smidgen of blind sightedness. Meat slapped his forehead and muttered, "He was supposed to avoid the attack!"

As Kid Muscle tried to grapple his opponent, Byaakugen clamped his arms in place. After that, he turned the kid around, placed his foot against his back and started pushing with extreme force on the poor dunce's backbone.

Kid Muscle hollered in pain as Checkmate asked, "Is there any way out of that move?"

Meat shook his head and said, "Once an opponent gets trapped in this, he's done for."

The announcers, Mac and Doc observed this as Mac said, "It seems as if Kid Muscle has fallen victim to the one move that has sent countless to the hospital."

Doc nodded and said, "I certainly wouldn't want to have to mess with that move. No wrestler has ever managed to escape the death hold! This attack can't be stopped!"

Doc demonstrated his point by performing a similar move on Mac who retorted, "I GET IT! STOP BREAKING MY BACK!"

Kid Muscle hollered in pain as Roxanne shouted, "YOU CAN DO IT, KID MUSCLE!" Meat joined in and shouted, "GET OUT OF THAT HOLD, YOU OLD COW!"

Upon hearing the word "cow", Kid Muscle started to shake. He immediately freed his arms and knocked Byaakugen backwards as he asked, "Did someone say cow?"

After that, he took out a bowl of cow and rice and sang, "With my rice, I like to have some cow-cow-cow. It really tastes so good; I don't know how-how-how. It's my favorite form of chow-chow-chow! Wow! Wow! Eat now!"

Byaakugen glared at him and stuttered, "Impossible… no one has ever escaped the death hold before!"

Kid Muscle turned around and said, "That's right. I escaped. To make sure I don't have to injure that hold again, I will finish you off with the power of Ultimate Muscle!"

A kanji appeared on Kid Muscle's forehead as Mac exclaimed, "He's now unleashed the power of Ultimate Muscle! Byaakugen doesn't stand a chance now!"

Kid Muscle punched Byaakugen into the rope and unleashed Muscle Millennium, thus finishing off a very powerful opponent.

Kid's friends jumped out from the audience and gave him a group hug. Surprise, surprise; Roxanne joined into the group hug.

She looked at Kid Muscle and said, "Kid, you did it!" Kid Muscle smiled and asked, "Roxanne, I have to ask you something. Will you go out with me?"

Roxanne shook her head and answered, "If I didn't accept your offer before, why would I accept it now?"

Kid Muscle lowered his head and said, "Look, I know that I've been a terrible fiancé. I know I'm a goofball. I know I'm an idiot. I know that someone as beautiful as you would never want to marry me, but I would be happy if you'd just go on this one date with me."

Roxanne turned to her girlfriends who merely backed away saying, "This is your problem!"

Roxanne turned to Kid Muscle and said, "I accept this date, but you must show me a good time!" Kid Muscle just froze at the sound of that as Roxanne asked, "Will you promise me a good time?"

The kid stuttered and finally let out, "Sure, why not?"

Roxanne smiled and said, "Okay, bye! See you tonight!"

Kid Muscle slumped down and muttered, "She's got to be kidding me. Why would she expect me to give her a good time?"

Meat turned to the kid and said, "Take it like a man! Maybe just for once, you can show a girl what a real date is all about!"

Later that night, Kid Muscle rang Roxanne's doorbell. Roxanne was dressed up for the evening. Kid Muscle was dressed up in his yellow fancy suit and his bowtie.

Roxanne said, "Hi, Kid Muscle. At least you came well-dressed." Sadly, the kid knew that this might have been the only compliment he'd receive all night.

Anyway, the kid took her to all kinds of places. He took her to the dog races, in which one dog ripped off the back of Kid Muscle's pants and the two started fighting. After that, they went to a fancy restaurant. Kid Muscle pilfered Roxanne's food constantly and ate like a pig. Sadly, when they went to see a fireworks show that was going on tonight, Kid Muscle spent the whole time at the concession stand eating fast food while Roxanne watched the fireworks alone.

Kid Muscle hung his head low on the way home and said, "It was a terrible evening, wasn't it?"

Roxanne nodded, but she wasn't grumpy. At least the kid was willing to admit it this time.

The kid soon grinned and said, "Just as I'd planned." Roxanne gave him a confused look as he explained, "I only gave you that horrible evening to make my big surprise for you seem better."

Roxanne was now curious until they entered her house and a huge party ball opened up with a sign in it saying "I love you".

Roxanne gasped as all of their friends came out from behind the furniture and shouted, "SURPRISE!" Roxanne turned to Kid Muscle who nodded thus answering the following question.

Kid Muscle knelt down in front of her and asked, "Roxanne, I know I may not be a major find, but will you marry me? It would mean so much!"

Roxanne blushed. She had to admit that Kid Muscle had done the smartest thing any man could do on a date. Roxanne turned to her girlfriends again who nodded and said, "Say yes. You may regret it, but this was his idea."

Roxanne blushed and looked into Kid Muscle's eyes. She shook nervously and answered, "Yes, I'll marry you, Kid Muscle."

Meat let out a loud cheer as the others clapped for their happiness.

The next day, the two lovebirds were in a chapel awaiting their marriage. King Muscle stood up in front of the crowd and announced, "Dearly beloved, we gather here today in holy matrimony. My son is going to be married to the daughter of my ex-girl…" Meat nudged him on the side and whispered, "We're not here to talk about your woman issues."

King Muscle cleared his throat and said, "I mean, my son it going to marry the beautiful Roxanne, who he has had his sights on for years. Roxanne, will you take my son, Kid Muscle, to be your lawfully wedded husband from now until death do you part?"

Roxanne looked to her friends for support. They gave her the thumbs up as he turned around and said, "I do."

King Muscle closed the bible (That he didn't actually read a thing out of) and announced, "In that case, I now pronounce you man and wife!"

Kid Muscle and Roxanne looked at one-another and did the one thing nobody thought they'd do. They kissed. They locked lips and kissed.

The kid smiled and asked, "How does it feel kissing a mask?" Roxanne smiled and said, "It's not as bad as I thought."

Kid Muscle picked up his wife and carried her off to a car labeled "Just Married".

After their short honeymoon, they arrived at Kid Muscle's house. Roxanne had brought her belongings and asked, "Why do we have to live at your house?"

Kid Muscle dropped his head and answered, "It's some rule we have to follow on my home planet. Once married, the wife must live in the husband's house. I bet you're pretty upset, aren't you?"

Roxanne smiled and said, "It'll be an adjustment, but I think it will work out."

As the two entered, Roxanne noticed that Kid Muscle's house only had two rooms, a TV room and a bedroom. Roxanne entered the bedroom to find Meat sleeping on the small bed. She sighed and thought, 'I forgot that he lived here.'

She felt a rumble in her tummy as she realized that she hadn't eaten anything since the honeymoon had started. She looked in the pantry only to find a million bowls of cow and rice.

Kid Muscle noticed her expression and said, "I'm sorry I couldn't live in luxury like you'd hoped. You'll have to deal with cow and rice for a while."

He took out a bowl and started munching down on it. Roxanne looked at the bowl. She had always secretly wanted to try it. She noticed that Kid Muscle was singing the little song that went with it and decided to eat some. She was surprised with the results. It tasted better than she thought it would. She gladly swallowed the whole bowl and went off to bed.

Kid Muscle joined her moments later and whispered, "I'm sorry for this big change, but you'll get used to it. Good night, my sweet." He kissed her cheek and went off to sleep.

The next morning, the kid got up and said, "Good morning, Roxanne!" He turned around to notice the most horrible sight ever. His wife was gone!

He started to panic as he looked around the house in search of his dearly beloved. Meat woke up and asked, "What's going on, Kid?" Kid Muscle turned to him and barked, "Roxanne's missing! I woke up and she was gone!"

Meat simply shook his head, sighed and said, "She must have realized the mistake she'd made when marrying you. I knew you two couldn't last a day together."

Kid Muscle glared at the deceivingly young-looking man, picked him up by the collar and barked, "DON'T' YOU EVER SAY THAT!"

Meat got free and said, "It may be true. She never really wanted to marry you from the start. Why'd she want to now?"

Kid Muscle was about to give his rebuttal when he noticed a note on his bed. He picked it up and read, "Dear Kid Muscle, we have kidnapped your wife. If you ever wish to see her again, come to the cavern in the North… or was it the East? Maybe it was the West? No, it's the South. Anyway, go to the cavern of the South and we will return her to you if our demands are met."

Meat sighed and said, "That's so typical. I'll bet money that Byaakugen sent you that! He must still be mad after the way you humiliated him." Kid Muscle nodded and said, "If I could beat him before, I can beat him again! Let's go! We must fight him for Roxanne's sake!"