WHERE YOU NEED TO BE

Someone's persistent knocking woke Haley at three o'clock on Saturday morning. Exhausted and irritated, she had tried to ignore it but whoever it was just didn't seem to know when to quit. She threw the covers forward and got out of bed.

She glanced over at Brooke's bed and was not surprised to find it unoccupied. "Spending the night at Luke's no doubt," she muttered to herself as she slammed the bedroom door shut and walked towards the front door.

Haley unlocked the front door and opened it. "Hey," he said with a small, unsure smile on his face. She looked at him for a second and then turned around, shutting the door behind her on her way back to her bedroom. He followed her. "Haley."

"Go away, Nathan," Haley ordered as she once again tried to shut him out with a door but he blocked it.

"I want to talk," he said. She opened the door part way and he moved his arm out of the way. She studied him for a second. He looked worn out; as if he'd been up all night trying to figure out what he was supposed to do. Then she scoffed.

"Go talk to Rachel," she told him before shutting the door in his face. She made it halfway across the room before she heard him slump against the wall.

"Haley, come on," he pleaded through the door. There was a sharp twinge in her heart at the pain in his voice but she swallowed it down. "The least you could do is hear me out."

She cursed herself as she turned around and opened the door. He was about to walk in the room when she brushed past him and headed towards the kitchen to grab something to drink. She heard him follow her and felt his eyes on her as she reached for two bottles of Pepsi. She handed him one and opened hers with little effort.

"You know, I've been thinking," she announced. He looked at her curiously.

"You have?" he asked. She nodded.

"I've been thinking and I've come to the conclusion that you're a hypocritical jackass," she said, fixing him with a glare.

"Haley," he started.

"You harpooned me for kissing Chris when not only did you kiss Rachel, you slept with her too. In our bed," Haley said. Her voice was full of suppressed anger.

"I was lonely and angry. I needed a distraction and-" he started. Haley chuckled.

"-and I'm sure Rachel was more than willing to comply," she finished.

"I'm not going to try to justify what I did to you," he said.

"Then what are you doing here, Nathan?" Haley asked. Nathan looked down the hall that led to the bedroom that they had once shared. Haley followed his gaze and then looked back at him. He soon returned his gaze to hers.

Haley breathed out. "Forget it," she said.

Haley sat alone in the tutoring centre with a tissue in one hand while her other hand was pressed against her forehead as she cried. It was so predictable for her to do this. Nathan says one thing- one nasty little word- to her and she runs to the nearest corner and hides right before she completely falls apart.

"Haley," a voice said. It was vaguely familiar to her, like she'd heard it before but she couldn't place it. Slowly, she lifted her head and was confronted with Tim Smith's sympathetic brown eyes.

"Hi," she said meekly and looked around the room. She was searching for something but she didn't know what. Tim merely smiled.

"Nathan's not here," he said.

"Oh," Haley said.

"Are you all right?" he asked. Haley looked at him and started laughing.

"Well, let's see. All of my friends have turned their backs on me and my husband just called me a whore in front of the whole school," she started sarcastically. Tim lowered his gaze. "I've never been better."

"I was only showing concern for a friend. My mistake. I'll leave you to your misery," Tim said, getting up and starting to leave.

"Wait," she called. He stopped and turned his head to look at her questioningly. "I'm sorry."

"Its fine," he said, coming closer so that he was standing over her.

"At first I thought you were here to rub salt in the wound," she said.

"Why would I do that?" Tim asked.

"Because you're Nathan's best friend," she replied.

"Yeah, I'm the best friend that he treats like crap," Tim reminded her.

"Right," she said, nodding. "It appears we have something in common."

"Sure. But if you don't mind, I'd prefer to think that since we're in the same grade, we're the same age and we have an odd sense of humour means we have stuff in common rather than the fact that we're both people Nathan mistreats. That's just kind of pathetic," Tim said.

"All right," she said. He reached out his hand.

"Come on. No more tears," he said. Haley faltered and looked at her wedding ring that was on her finger. "He's not worth the headache all this crying will cause. Trust me." She took his hand and he pulled her up. He lightly patted her on the back.

"I know you love him but he's made it more than clear that he's not interested. He's treating you badly and you don't deserve it no matter what you did. Nathan's hardly innocent in everything," he said.

"I love him," Haley reminded Tim.

"And he loves you. Sooner or later, he's going to remember that but he's got to do it on his own. In the meantime, you need to concentrate on you," Tim said.

"You're right," she said and stumbled over the words which made Tim laugh.

"Surprised?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Don't take it personally, but, yeah, I am," she replied. Still laughing, he put an arm around her shoulder and hugged her to him. He leaned down.

"You're not the only one who hides," he whispered into her ear.

"Tim said you weren't innocent in everything. I didn't really understand what he meant until now," Haley said.

"Tim has a big mouth and he needs to mind his own business," Nathan said. Haley shook her head.

"Tim is a friend and unlike you, he was there for me when no one else was around," she said.

"Haley, I was mad," Nathan reminded him.

"Yeah, being upset is one thing, Nathan, but you went way too far," she said.

He started to speak but she cut him off, "You treated me like dirt. You manipulated me; you tried to push me back to Chris to prove something to yourself and then you called me a whore when your plan didn't work."

"I was wrong. I'm prepared to admit that but you did kiss someone else," he said.

"Ha! Don't even play the 'wronged spouse' card because it's not going to work. Not after what you did to me and certainly not when you slept with someone else," Haley said.

"I've already explained that," he said.

"And what? You think that covers it?" Haley exclaimed.

"Of course not. I know there is no way to make what I did okay but I made a mistake. You of all people should be able to understand that," he said. Haley raised her hand and slapped him across the face.

"How dare you!" she exclaimed. He grabbed his face and looked at her in disbelief. Then she lowered her hand and walked over to him. She glared at him and asked, "Do I look like a doormat to you?"

"No. You look like my wife," he replied, rubbing his cheek.

"Yeah. The same wife you alienated and ridiculed when I came back to you after you forced me to make a choice and when I did, you wrote me off. All because I didn't choose you. Well guess what, Nathan? I don't know if I want to be that person anymore," Haley exploded.

"What person?" he asked.

"The person you seem to think you can pick up and throw away whenever the hell you feel like it," she replied.

"Hales," he said and lifted an arm and rested it on her shoulder. Her eyes narrowed as they travelled to his arm. He leaned his forehead against hers so that he could look deep into her eyes. He used his other hand to raise her chin and then he pressed their lips together.

Haley was caught off guard by the kiss and Nathan used this opportunity to slip his tongue in her mouth and began to explore its inner workings. He groaned. It had been so long. So long since he'd tasted her and even longer since they had made love. He began to gently stroke her tongue with his. She had remained passive to his kiss until then. She returned the kiss with all the pent-up passion that had been raging inside her for months.

He moved his arm from her shoulder and draped it across her back and slipped his hand under the soft fabric of her tank top. He caressed her skin and that's when Haley pulled away. "No!" she exclaimed.

Frustration boiled inside him but he took a deep breath and looked at her. "What?" he asked.

"You can't do this to me. You can't come here, kiss me like that and expect me to take you back after everything that's happened," Haley said.

"Why not? It's what we both want," he asked.

"Maybe but we don't always get what we want," she said.

"Haley, please. We can work this out," he said. He moved towards her again and pulled her closer to him. He was about to kiss her again but Haley turned her head so his lips landed in her hair.

"Give me one good reason why," she said.

"What?" he asked.

"Why should I take you back? Why should I make an effort to work things out with you?" Haley demanded.

"Because I love you. Not a moment went by that I didn't love you even when I was hurting you," he replied with emotion behind it. Haley quivered.

"You sure had me fooled," she spat. Nathan looked at her for a second.

"So did you," he said. Haley raised her eyes to him.

"What?" she asked.

"When you were gone- when you made the choice to go on tour- I thought it meant that you didn't love me anymore," he said.

"Of course I loved you. It was never about that," she said. He nodded.

"I know that now and everybody tried to tell me then but I just didn't think it was true. I thought if you loved me, how could you leave me?" he said.

"You were the one who made things that way. I told you it wasn't the end for us. And then you gave me that ultimatum," she said.

"Only because I thought you were leaving for Chris," he said.

"But I wasn't," she said.

"You kissed him-" Nathan started.

"I kissed him goodbye and I should've told you about it when it happened but I didn't want to hurt you with something that wasn't a big deal," Haley said.

"Well, it wasn't until you lied about it," he said.

"And I know now that I should have told you about it. Maybe if I had, you wouldn't have reacted the way you did to the idea of me going on tour," she said.

"I never should have made you choose between your dream and me. We're not living in the olden days. It doesn't have to be one or the other," he said. Haley nodded in agreement.

"And Rachel?" she asked, looking at him.

"Was a stupid mistake that I'll always regret but I can't change what I did. I wish that I could," he said.

"I guess I can understand that," she said, remembering a time when she had something similar. Nathan lifted his arm again and rested it on her shoulder.

"So where does that leave us?" he asked.

"I don't know," she confessed.

"Look at me," he said. She looked into his eyes. "You and I are too good together to throw what we have away over a few mistakes and misunderstandings. I know it won't be easy. It's going to be hard but we'll work through it together. I love you and that's what matters."

"I love you too, Nathan," she said.

"Why do I have a feeling there's a 'but' somewhere in there?" he asked. Haley shook her head.

"No buts. Just love," she said. He smiled.

"Always," he said.

"And forever," she finished.

THE END