She wasn't so sure anymore, the image in her mind had been perfect – the perfect ending to an ordinary life, there was to be beauty in her breakdown… She took a shaky breath, she felt like the world was spinning.
"Concentrate," she sternly reprimanded herself.
She sat by the water leaning against a beautiful old tree with her knees pulled to her chest. Her nervous fingers rummaged through the bag by her side until they found what they were looking for. Encased within her hand was a small white plastic box, she slid the cover off to reveal the blades encased in paper sleeves within.
"This is it," she told herself, the three words becoming a mantra as she slid the first razor from the box.
She held it between her fingers and placed it against the pale white skin of her naked wrist, closing her eyes and holding her breath she slashed the metal across her skin…
He approached another sign – 'Lankston River 300m' and took the bend at speed, not feeling the sweat that trickled down his back.
He could see the glimpses of a translucent blue surface poking between the bushes in front of him and within seconds he was standing on the bank of the river hurriedly glancing for the any sign of Jackie's presence.
Looking up and down the riverbank he scanned but nothing seemed out of place. He refrained from calling out the girls name fearing that he would only alarm her and make her more determined not to be found. Thoughts ran through his mind, was he too late? Had he failed another… just as he was getting frantic he noticed a trail of stepping stones that made their way across the flowing water. In haste he navigated his way across the slippery rocks and found himself on the opposite side of the bank. Eyes trained to notice the small details picked up on a small badge that lay on the ground a few metres before him. He bent down to pick it up, before putting it in his pocket and moving toward a large tree to his left, its thick roots supporting the bank. As he approached the tree he heard small sobs, the sound making a lump form in his own throat.
"Jackie, is that you?" he questioned in a compassionate voice.
He waited for an answer whilst he slowly approached the form he could now make out leaning against the tree trunk, her back towards him.
Danny made his way to Jackie, stopping as he rounded the tree and crouched before her. The first thing he noticed was she had cut her left wrist and blood was quickly pooling, flowing onto her jeans and dripping to the ground. She looked at him weakly, her tear stained face showing hopelessness.
"Hey," he started, "I've been looking for you Jackie, you've had me so worried. I'm Danny Taylor of the Missing Persons Unit, FBI…" He paused, taking in the situation before continuing, "I'm here to help you Jackie, you can trust me."
She looked up from where her gaze had fallen on the droplets of blood running down her arm.
"This wasn't how it was supposed to happen," she thought to herself… tears began to form in the corners of her eyes…
"Why can't I do anything right," she muttered unaware that she had said it aloud.
Danny not wanting to embarrass the girl before him didn't mention what she had said but instead waited to see if she would say anything more, taking into account that while he couldn't rush her, he didn't have too much time.
"Why are you bothering with me?" she asked, blinking the tears away.
"It's my job to look for people, for people who have lost their way, who are in trouble, who are hurting… I like my job, I care about the people I look for – I care about what happens to you…" he answered sincerely.
"Well I am fine thank you, enjoy your life Danny Taylor, but I'm afraid I am beyond your help, I have an appointment with fate…" she trailed off.
"You aren't beyond help," he urged, looking into her eyes, trying to get through to the girl somewhere in there who wanted to live.
"What would you know," she spat, "…you with your cushy FBI job that gives you a nice pay cheque and also lets you feel like you serve an important purpose."
He ignored her outburst and decided on a different approach.
"I know what it's like to want to die Jackie, I know what it's like to hurt, to believe that you are worthless. I know what is like to lose control…" he moved closer to her small frame and took her hand, glad when she didn't pull away
"I know right now the hardest thing to believe is that is going to be ok, that you can make it through this, that there is happiness for you and that you deserve it," Danny urged, the words coming from deep within.
"Is that what they train you to say?" Jackie questioned, though there was a slight softening in her eyes.
Danny took a deep breath before gently letting go of her hand, unbuttoning his sleeve and rolling it up to reveal the angry red raised scars that marred his skin. He took a moment before looking to see her reaction and when he did he was surprised to see fresh tears tracing their way down her cheeks. This time it was her who reached for his hand.
"I wasn't sure about going through with this," she admitted. "Part of me wants to live but I don't know how. I am not as strong as you are…" she trailed off.
"You are every bit as strong as me," he urged, squeezing her hand as he did so. "Will you let me help you, I believe in you Jackie, I know you can live."
She let out a stifled sob as he took her into his arms, wanting to protect her, wanting to take away the pain she felt as tears and blood wet his shoulder.
Danny pulled back, looking at Jackie before asking her if he could look at her wrist. She showed him her arm, looking away as she did so.
"Malone," Jack answered, as he pulled into the Lankston Park car park.
"Jack, it's me," Danny replied noticing the tension in his boss' voice.
"What's the situation Danny?"
"I need an ambulance. I am with Jackie, when you get to park, follow the sign to the river, you will see some stepping stones, follow them and when you reach the bank turn right, you will see us."
"What condition is she in?" Jack asks, hoping it is the girl who needs the ambulance and hoping that while Danny may be physically ok that he is also stable mentally.
"She has used a razor blade to slit one of her wrists, I am applying pressure but she is losing a fair amount of blood. She will be ok, but the sooner we get her looked at and safe, the better."
"Right, I have just pulled in to the park now, I'll wait for the ambulance and will come as soon as I can," he said as he noticed Viv's car pulling in behind him.
"Ok," Danny replied, hoping that things were going to turn out ok.
"Danny, wait, Viv's jus arrived so I'm on my way now," Jack said, getting out of the car as he did so.
