Disclaimer: Sukisho doesn't belong to me. I write it for pure fun.
A/N: I know this chapter was short, forgive me. But I do intend to go on soon! All I need is reviews from you!
And always remember: english is not my native language!
Guilt – chapter II
Sora's point of view
My eyes suddenly opened. As if I abruptly woke from a dream. I felt as if I came back from very very far – but I surely had been here all the time.
In my arms, Ran wept.
I see. Yoru. He's back?
I could wonder why. But something told me that I wouldn't get anywhere by myself.
- Er... Ran? Are you all right?
At the sound of my voice, he raised his face, which had been buried on my shoulder, and tried to get away. I pulled him back, made him rest his head back on me. This must have surprised him, for I felt his body all tense against me. I kept stroking his hair, and felt Ran begin to relax, melting in my arms, his sobs slowly dying.
I kept quiet.
We stayed like this for a long time, with me not daring to risk a move. Ran was peaceful, his body all softened against mine, breathing deeply. When I thought he was asleep, he stired and looked up at me. He looked in my eyes, and looked, and looked, and it seemed as if he was looking for something. Trying to see beyond me. Then I blinked, shaked my head – this was making me nervous – and talked to him.
- Ran... what is it?
Again, my voice seemed to startle him. But just for an instant. He quickly lowered his gaze.
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry? For what?
- I shouldn't be so rude with you.
I smiled openly to him.
- Oh, that? It's ok. Forget it.
He suddenly shrank, looking very pale, and when his voice came out, it was no more than a whisper.
- And you also don't need to worry about him – he said, closing his eyes – he won't be coming anymore.
- Who? – that was my stupid question. I regreted it almost instantly.
For whom else would Ran be so sad...
But he didn't even try to answer. The only proof I had that he actually heard me was the slight shiver in his shoulders.
He won't be coming anymore. It may be good for me. But what about Ran?
I know how he feels... If Nao-kun never came back...
Dawn was getting closer. Through the window, I could see the first brightness of the day appearing. There was still some time left until the sun was fully shining. And I felt so tired.
I came closer to Ran and layed my hands on his naked shoulders. They were so cold. Ran stared at me.
- Look... it's still very early. Let's go to sleep, and tomorrow we decide what to do.
He kept staring at me, expressionless. I smiled to him.
- You must be exausted, ne? And you're freezing – I pointed, rubbing his shoulders to warm him – let's go to bed!
Ran seemed caught out of guard, as if he never expected this from me. I felt his curious gaze on my back as I lifted my blankets to lay down. When I sat on my bed, he turned around with a 'good night' and reached for Sunao's bed.
I stood up and grabbed his arm.
- It's damn freezing. Come sleep with me. There's plenty of room!
Ran was quiet, looking at me suspiciously, the same way Nao used to do in the beggining, when he still didn't trust me. I decided to take it as a 'yes' (like I had done with Nao) and took his hand, pulling him with me. When I layed down and covered myself, he was still reluctant about it. But then a cold breeze blew through the room, and Ran was instantly curled up in my bed. I pulled him closer as I do with Toshizou, feeling him stiffen in my arms. So I caressed his face, and I think he liked it, for my hand was warm against his cold skin. It was enough to make him finally relax and he rested his face in my chest. I kissed his forehead and we were both soon asleep.
When I woke up hours later, already late to school, Ran wasn't by my side anymore. Looking around, I realized he wasn't even in the room. How can he just leave like this? What will people think? Will they notice something?
Will he mind acting as Nao?
Imagining all the mess that could come out from this, I decided to get dressed and go to find him quickly. Maybe he hasn't found anyone yet...
I grabbed my clothes and went to the bathroom. Who knows, Ran could even be there. Maybe he just went to take a bath, that's all.
I stopped at the door. Someone was crying inside. Very lowly, but I still heard it.
I hesitated, not wanting to disturb whoever was inside... At the same time, something told me to push that door and just walk in
It could be him... It could perfectly be him...
But if he came here, he wanted to be alone...
And still the person wept, a continuous, muffled crying. I saw in my mind a sobbing Nao, trembling, lonely.
I pushed the door.
A pair of eyes widened. Tearful eyes, in a face all wet from tears.
A pair of pink eyes. Sunao's eyes.
As soon as they fixed on me, those eyes filled with fear. Immediatly, they became red.
- Hashiba!
Ran stood up, furious, and came in my direction.
- Have you followed me?
- N...no, I just... came to take a shower...
Ran faced me with enraged eyes.
But it doesn't look like just rage.
- So, go on and take your shower – he said dryly. Shaking his hair, he walked away from me, straight to the door. Before leaving, he turned around and claimed.
- I'm not going to class. And won't be talking to anyone, so don't worry – he looked in my eyes and startled me. All that previous despair was gone, replaced by absolute emptyness.
- Wait! Where are you staying?
He answered from outside the bathroom.
I don't know. Don't come looking for me.
