The Janitor of Hogwarts
Chapter Six
After Teava had confirmed to Severus that she was definitely NOT ready, and had a strange fondness for potatoes she was unwilling to explain, the two set off towards Hogwarts. By... mysterious means that will not be named, as they're supposed to remain mysterious and unknown. You know, for effect? Like most things are.
C'mon, give the poor narrator a break! All she wants is to be dramatic, but no. You have to go and piss on her illustrative skills like that. Wow, cold, man. That's just cold.
Anyway. During the ride, Teava had grown beyond bored. An extremely bad thing for a severely sleep-deprived Severus. She had begun to bombard him with question upon question, hoping to take advantage of his zombie-like state and either get her way, or a rise out of him. It amused the muggle when he yelled.
"Can I sing?"
"No," he snarled, grinding his teeth in any effort not to wringe her neck. "You may not."
"Please?" she offered, hoping politeness might be effective.
Yeah right. Not when the coffee machine in the Death Eater's lounge was broken and he was so messed up from lack of sleep that he had forgotten he could summon coffee out of nowhere with a swish of his wand.
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"...Pleaaaaaaase?"
"Say please one more time and I'll rip out your voice box for the remainder of the trip."
The girl fell silent, which relieved Severus immensely. For a few moments, at least.
"Why?"
Something inside of him snapped. "GODAMNIT. JUST SIT THERE AND STAY QUIET."
Teava fell silent once again, not even favoring the grumpy man with her usual pout. She did manage to look exceptionally upset, however. This didn't manage to faze him at all.
Good, he said to himself, at the thought of her in emotional pain. Bloody annoyance.
They rode on in silence, when suddenly (because everything in this word happens that way) there was a loud thump heard overhead, the force of whatever had fallen on their mysterious means of transportation shaking the entire vehicle, and making Severus' ass kiss the floor once again. The middle of the fabric-like substance covering the ceiling of their ride sank low under the weight of what seemed to be a person.
Severus managed to stare at in blatant surprise, but Teava didn't even blink at the disturbance. Instead, she offered, "Maybe it's God again."
Turning away from the object, mouth now considerably open in order to gape at her in alarm, the potion's master looked like he was about to say something. He shook his head and closed it and thought before asking:
"I... seriously don't want to know, do it?" When Teava shrugged, he added, "Thought so," then closing his eyes, trying to keep his exasperation from showing.
They went on riding peacefully, trying to ignore whatever had fallen on them until the buldge gave a loud grunt.
"What the FUCK is that?" he muttered, moving from his position on the floor to a large window on the side of their transportation. With some effort he managed to open it, brushing the gauzy red curtains aside to stick his head out as far as he could. It was enough to peer over the roof to see what had landed so, dare I say, suddenly on them.
Lying there innocently enough was a girl, decked out in what appeared to be Slytherin Quidditch robes, despite the fact that school was out. She seemed to be uninjured, and there was a leaf in her long, blonde, exceptionally perfect hair, but Severus noticed that it was otherwise immaculately straight and in place, and her robes were without tear or grass stain. Beside her, an expensive looking broom and hello kitty™ backpack sat inconscpiciously enough.
Severus' eyes narrowed in alarm, the wind whipping his hair around dramatically as he muttered, "Mary-Sue." He clutched the bottom of the window suspending his weight almost desperately, expecting the scenery surrounding them to suddenly darken and for lightning to crackle ominously in the sky. Nothing happened. "Not again. It gets so old."
Once the blonde girl gave another groan, and seemed to be waking up, Severus stuck his head back inside the mysterious contraption taking them to Hogwarts, almost frantically. When he returned and straightened his hair out, his eyes went immediately to where Teava had been sitting before his little trip.
She wasn't there. Of course.
Looking over to where he had been sitting before his little fall, Snape was relieved to see that she had moved there in his absence. She was on her knees, reaching up towards the ceiling where a pin appeared to be set. With a small jump she was able to reach it, pulling down hard once it was in her grasp.
In slow motion, Severus saw the cloth seperating the Mary-Sue and the two traveling buddies disappear. He had no time to scream and thrown himself out of their conveyance before it landed at his feet, spread-eagle, brilliant blue eyes wide.
"This can't be good," he choked out, a disgusted look gracing his face.
The Mary-Sue looked up at Severus, as if expected him to help her to her feet and declare his undying love for her. Instead, he snorted and stepped over her, plopping down beside the startled Teava who still held the pin in her hand. She put the cloth back in its place and sat down, having the appearance of a dazed puppy.
"I didn't know it would do that," she said.
The both watched the Mary-Sue get to its perfect feet, not even bothering to brush itself off in attempt to set its clothes straight, knowing that it would be perfect either way. Extending a slender, well-manicured hand to Severus, she smiled brightly, lips painted a sparkly, perfect pink, and said in her sweet musical voice," Hello! My name is Caz."
